₦airaland Forum

Here is a video of the wedding,brace yourselves.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZLB9Y7lPw8

DictatorZAR: Now this is what I call ignorance can you show me the slums you talk of. Soweto has evverything that Lagos only dreams of

1)Soweto has two university campuses today

2) Soweto has the 6th biggest shopping mall in Africa

3)Soweto has the biggest and two of worlds best international stadiums in the world FNB and Orlando respectively

4) Soweto has the biggest hospital in africa

5) Soweto has a BRT bus system

6) Soweto has a light passenger rail network( something that Lagos still dreams of)

7) 95% of Soweto citizens has electricity, water, sanitation and primary healthcare
facilities.

96% of Soweto's people already have basic housing.

Now does this constitute a slum, please get out of your little village because SA has transformed Soweto years ago.

Actually Soweto has the biggest hospital in the world but you and i know that the hospital is a death trap because of mismanagement and incompetent BEE staff.

IIIIxRoyalxIIII: Mwuahahaahahahahahah

Shout out to the Homie Ray J!

Us Good Looking Niqqahz Have that Cocky Swagga Like No Other

Mad Respect to a Fellow Boss.

I Salute, Chief

Words of a true negro!

991: I understand you perfectly well, i was almost speechless the moment i read your wife is Swazi. I must confess that you are very lucky to have met your wife, Swazi people are the best, again kudos to you for living responsibly in SA because it is rare to find people like you.
Finally, i commend your RIGHT decision to come home and settle with your family, i also commend your daringness coming online to share and discuss it with fellow brothers and sisters, though not every comment is worth giving attention but that is online forum for you.
I wish you the best in your undertakings, please plan yourself well and invest wisely when you come, though am not always in nigeria due the nature of my biz but my family is here. we have good schools here for kids, when you settle down you can always visit SA with your family on holidays.
My regards to your wife and kids.

Thank you bros ,your advice is worth more than money.

noirfavour: The choice is your to make in the end but think about this:

1. Why did you leave Nigeria in the first place if it was home for you? People who sees Nigeria as home only visit abroad for one month maximum not stay there for 13 years.

2. You are in south africa and can always come back to visit if you misses it that much....

3. In those years there I'm sure you must have built for yourself a good life and have good family/friends there although nowhere is perfect.

4. The problems of Nigeria still remain the same; only depreciation are more poverty you will see.
*No light (I live in the center of Abuja and its still that bad), No security,

*Expensive internet for very poor connection; the most common leisure you get living abroad.
* Jobs are hard and for business connection is who knows who otherwise you will burn all your saving without being sure of returns (profit) personal experience. etc.

5.I will personal advice you not to come back because I made the mistake of returning to Nigeria 2 years believing it was home but I was so wrong; and right now I can't wait for the day I will pack my bags and leave, never return again.

6. But to make your decision easier; leave your family there for now, come visit and stay for 3-6 month and your decision process will be completed. You will either love it and enjoy it or you will see all the reasons why you left in the first place But don't be like me who made the decision based on the Idea of Nigeria I had in my head and all the advises I got from people.

Note: Home is where you want it to be not a place where you are born. Remember how hard it was to start a new life abroad if you come back that is how it feels. just like a foreign country with worst conditions.

Thank you very much for your advice all ,it is much apprecaited.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________

@The rest of the people who replied,i will like to offer my profound gratitude that you took time to share your wisdom with me.They say he who asks for direction never gets lost.

I am first and foremost a proud Nigerian who has genuine love and concern for my country.The truth is that no matter how successful you are abroad,you will always miss home.It just does not feel the same and you start to ache and dream about home.No amount of money or comfort can fix that ache hence why i have made some effort to move home.

Thanks to all your inputs i now have a clear understanding of what i need to do which will be as follow:

(A) Visit Nigeria for a month and survey the environment where i want to be based

(B) Go back to SA and hand over my businesses to capable managers.

(C) Relocate to Nigeria solo and reside in Nigeria for 6 months preparing school and other necessities for my family

(D) At the end of my solo research determine if my family can adapt to the Nigerians lifestyle

(F) Bring my family to Nigeria ,settle down and move on with life


Thank you all and GOD bless.

Rimbaldi: Like I said earlier, there is no need debating this issue. I am beginning to think that you opened this thread for some other reason. IF NOT, WHY DONT YOU CLOSE THE THREAD AND COME BACK HOME ON SHORT VISITS AND SEE THINGS FOR YOUR SELF? AFTER ALL YOU HAVE HEARD DIFFERENT SIDES TO THE STORY OR ARE YOU A LEARNER? Aannh! Aaaanh! You sef?

Rimbaldi: The reason why so many diasporans spend donkey years running Naija down with their mouths only to come back and ...oh! A lot of their peers are actually doing well for themselves. They make it sound like Naija is the only place crime and scams exist. The only difference is other nationalities will not run down their nations in ur presence, no matter how bad the situation is. Bad as e bad,

filipinnos are moving in,
Lebanese are too
so also are Americans and brits
SAfricans too
And with the whole Africom thing, the French and US numbers will increase.
Indians and Chinese will own Nigeria by the time the op brings himself to a decision.
And the influx of foreigners keeps increasing since ur govt is begging them for so called DFI(direct foreign investment).
Meanwhile by the time the op discovers that he doesn't really have Nigerian kids, he would have grown old. SA WIVES WILL NEVER COME HOME PERMANENTLY WITH YOU. E NOR DEY HAPPEN BEFORE, NOR BE UR OWN CASE E GO USE START.

Please stop applying “Agbero” logic and comprehend the reason for the thread.Who are you to ask me to close the thread? If you don't have anything intelligent to offer then don't comment. I did request for mature adults to post, didn’t i?

Secondly please don't assume you know my wife ,this "educated illiterate" attitude of talking about people’s wives that you have never met before is one of the reason why Nigerians are perceived to be uncouth in some quarters. If your brain is overheating and you cannot contribute anything of substance, you can keep quiet and be a spectator. There are at least 30 topics on the front page ,why is this one itching you?

I am sure you have married every SA woman that you know that they will never come to Nigeria Your post is just the ramblings of a short sighted intellectually challenged goof.Stick to the topic ,the next thing you will talking about is what color my wife's underwear is. Jeez, it is extremely hard to keep ones cool around regressive ramblers like you. No form of intelligence whatsoever. If this was an exam you would have failed.

991: you have a point here broda, i wanted to say more about that but the OP said his wife was online too. anyway lets talk about it now.
FACTS
1. it is always difficult, in fact almost impossible for a Xhosa/Zulu/Afikans(coloured)woman to follow you to nigeria with her kids to stay permanently.
2. southafrica has a law that empowers women more and children belongs to their mother in case of separation.
3. the moment you tell your southy wife about relocating to nigeria, she would involve her family and their response is always negative.
4. more than 40% of dead-wealthy-nigerians were killed by their wife (directly or indirectly) and it must has to do with relocating or dragging of children when you finally wants to go home.
i could go on and on and on....
5. many rich nigerians are in prison just because their wife set them up with the police so she can have all his money, the kids and property, the same wife who has been living with you and who knows all your secret. and once you finish serving your jail term you will be deported.
am sorry if the above is offensive to anyone reading but it the truth. if we say the entire truth the real headache the Op has now is the wife/inlaws. other wise no real naija-born-guy will complain of kidnapping in nigeria just after 13yrs of staying outside. his wife and inlaws just use those reasons to try to prevent the guy from taking the children to nigeria. believe me, it hurts them to see you go let alone take their children with you. i've been there broda.

Many of what you have said is true but please understand that it is only true depening on your circumstance.Allow me to address your comment analytically :

1. it is always difficult, in fact almost impossible for a Xhosa/Zulu/Afikans(coloured)woman to follow you to nigeria with her kids to stay permanently.

This is not entirely true because it depends on the caliber of woman you marry. You will agree with me that some of our brothers marry prostitutes from hotels like Safari Hotel and expect her to behave decently.
This is where they go wrong,how can you marry a woman who people pay for sex them expect her to be faithful to you? Most of these women who usually make bad wives are Xhosa, only a few are zulu and coloured.

I actually met my wife in swaziland,she was a manager at an IT firm there which I went to solicit a contract from and that is how we started dating. Within 6 months she applied for a job in SA and relocated to SA to be with me. My wife does not have any friend here in SA only business acquaintances because we are very private people. The only friend she has is me. Moreover she is educated, well informed and very ambitious.

If you read one of my older post , you will see that I mentioned that she is the one who started pushing me that we should move back to Nigeria.

My family knows her as she communicates with them every week and even offer carreer advice to my siblings. What I am trying to establish here is that many of our brothers just pick desperate uneducated babes on the street and marry them for papers. That is where they get in to trouble. If they had married an educated, independent woman who is loving and has the fear of GOD they won’t have problem.

My wife has no problem moving to Nigeria ,she knows the customs and culture already. All she wants is some clarity on the security of her family in Nigeria. At the end of the day her family can not stop her from coming to Nigeria. She is a grown woman and is only heeding their advice at the moment out of respect.

2. southafrica has a law that empowers women more and children belongs to their mother in case of separation.

The law does not work like that. There are situations where the court will give full custody to the father.

It all depends on why you are splitting. If you are splitting because you can not work out your difference but will still continue to live in the same compound 1.e your wife stays in the house and the man stay in the boys quarters ,the court will award you joint custody and the terms will be worked out by your lawyers before the judge pronounces finals judgement. This means you and your child we get to spend time with your kids separately.

In the even that one of the parent posses a threat to the well being of the children the court will allow full custody to the other parent.

In the event that you the man is found to have cheated on your wife and caused her emotional pain ,the court will award full custody to your wife and give you visitation rights. You will not be allowed to reside on the same property with.

Like i said it all depends on the situation that leads to the separation. The main reason some Nigerians lose custody of their kids is because they are not conversant with the marital laws of South Africa. This law is the same as everywhere in the civilized and it ensures that woman and men are protected from spousal abuse.

3. the moment you tell your southy wife about relocating to nigeria, she would involve her family and their response is always negative.

I also have to disagree with this brother, not all SA in laws are bad.MY inlaws are very nice people. They even support super eagles during the Afcon cup. SA in laws do not expect much from you other than for you to take good care of their daughter.

Surely if you have a daughter and she tells you she wants to visit sudan, what will be your reaction? Parents are naturally protective of their children so it will be unfair for to hastily judge them.If you tell an SA that you are taking their daughter to USA ,they will not complain.

It is all about perception, Nigeria unfortunately has a not too pleasant image so many people outside are misinformed. Nollywood also worsens the silly exaggerated witchcraft and rituals movies they make. I don’t how many South Africa a week who ask me if juju is used so often by wicked people in Nigeria.

At the end of the we Nigerians do more harm than good in the way we behave overseas ,the movies we make and the news that emanates from Nigeria daily.My in laws never objected to my wife going to Nigeria ,they just want me to promise to look after like any in law will do.

4. more than 40% of dead-wealthy-nigerians were killed by their wife (directly or indirectly) and it must has to do with relocating or dragging of children when you finally wants to go home.
i could go on and on and on....


This maybe true and i have heard stories of such but can not confirm any of it.Again this boil down to the type of women they married.If you marry a decent woman ,chances of her doing is 0%.If their wives genuinely loved them ,they would not have done that.

5. many rich nigerians are in prison just because their wife set them up with the police so she can have all his money, the kids and property, the same wife who has been living with you and who knows all your secret. and once you finish serving your jail term you will be deported.

Now my question to you is this ,what secret were they keeping Pardon me but from your post it seems you are saying this Nigerian guys were criminals and their wives knew about their criminal activities. I hope that is not what you are saying because if it then i am shocked. I for one do not care for the Nigerians who are committing crimes in SA.I happen to be member of a community policing forums and have gotten quite a few criminals arrested through tips. These boys are damaging our reputation in SA and ruining people's lives with their endless crimes.

I have no secret as i am a law abiding registered tax payer in South Africa so there is no way anyone can set me up.Every penny i make is accounted for and properly documented. Even if they plant cocaine in my house or office i won't go to jail because my lawyers will prove beyond a doubt after providing the court with forensic data that I earn a honest living and was a victim of an attempted set up. I don't think you should use this line of argument because it will make it look like you are sympathizing with Nigerian criminals in SA.

Gentlemen it is 2:57 am right now in joburg. I need to get some shut eye,we will continue this discussion later today.Have a pleasant day or night depending on where you are.

plasgidy: Mr op, I thank you very much for this your post, cos this is what this forum is for, learning even if you are living in ajegunle it dos not matter,

But sir if I may ask what do you intend to do when you come back, what is your qualification or skill, cos to be honest with you there a lot of people we left in nigeria are doying great to be honest with I can count up to 15 my friends I left in ngeria and traveled men when I visited nija guy come and see there houses cars and what have you, they even have commercial houses, I culdnt mesure up with them,

And they doying legit bussines goying to china to import things, I still have anothrr one who returned frm us and use the money he had and start real

Thank you for your advice.

Rossikk: I don't see the point in listing all this. You can literally pick out ANY NATION on earth, go online, do a little research, and draw up an impressive list of crimes, from murders to mugging.

I can start with the UK if you wish, and the list will be longer than the one you posted.

If you read his post and mine ,he mistakenly assumed that i get my kidnapping news from SA media and i was just pointing out to him that i got all the information from Nigerian media.I don't want people to have the impression that SA is poisoning Nigerians' minds against their own country because that will be unfair and untrue.People also need to realize why i initially started this thread so that they don't think my concern was fabricated.

Michaeljones36: This is what I was talking about in my earlier post.

Black South Africans are still mentally subservient to the whites in that country. Just go online and look at the comments on South African news websites. All the whites there are horribly racist, so the "coloreds" and the upper class blacks try to fit in by being as racist as "massah".

This is called Uncle Tom syndrome.

I downloaded an app on my phone so that I could listen to radio stations in Africa. Capetalk radio is the most patronizing radio station I have ever heard in my life. Everytime a black caller would call in, the BLACK radio host would "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" his way through the convo. Everytime a black caller would call in the BLACK host would talk down to them like children.

One of the white callers even called this grown man a "good boy" live on the radio!!!

I cannot imagine that in Nigeria. Seriously, could never happen. Never. God help a white man if it ever does.

I am sure that 90% of the reason the SA media paints Nigeria as a bad place, is because the whites can't stand that a black nation is overtaking their economy. They can't stand that a black nation is progressing. This is why they attack Nigeria so viciously.

Maybe you need to leave SA for your kids sake. It would be a shame for them to grow up as second class citizens in their mothers homeland. Better they grow up as kings in their fathers homeland.

What you have said is true but to a certain extent. Many of the people i have dealings with are white South Africans and they know i fight fire with fire. It is all about how you carry yourself. If you drag yourself on the floor anywhere in the world in front of a white man he will step on you. The problem with some black South African is that they suffer from inferiority complex. Apartheid really scarred their minds and it will take time for them to heal. Many do not have the boldness we have hence why they behave like that around whites.

One thing about most of the educated law abiding (emphasis on law abiding)Nigerians who live here is that they are treated well by whites. Whites South Africans realized a long time ago that they have to behave around Nigerians or could literally get a hot slap. Thankfully I have been lucky enough to work with decent intelligent whites who have shared their knowledge with me about the modern business and technology world.

Furthermore SA does not report much on Nigeria much except when a Nigerian is arrested for a crime or there is a major event like a bomb blast in Nigeria.SA media hardly reports kidnappings in Nigeria except the victim is a foreign worker.Most of the kidnapping news I get are from on Nairaland, Linda Ikeji and other Nigerian blogs.

Here are just a handful of articles which got me worried :

http://lindaikeji..com/2013/04/security-advisory-increasing-kidnap-for.html

http://naijagists.com/baby-boy-kidnapped-in-lagos-nigeria-kidnappers-demand-n20-million-ransom/

http://lindaikeji..com/2013/04/nigerian-press-council-director.html

http://saharareporters.tumblr.com/post/23185515858/kidnapping-in-lagos-state-civil-society-organizations#_=_

http://theeagleonline.com.ng/news/police-arrest-lagos-notorious-kidnappers-declare-two-wanted/

http://news.yahoo.com/nigerian-police-british-businessman-kidnapped-lagos-061941888--sector.html

https://www.nairaland.com/530750/opc-saves-twins-kidnap-lagos

http://nigeriafilms.com/news/18868/22/kidnappers-storm-lagos-kidnap-lagos-businesslady-d.html

http://lindaikeji..com/2013/03/kidnappers-abduct-5-lagos-bound.html

http://lindaikejiblogg..com/2011/01/ify-eneli-and-michael-neri-kidnapped-in.html

http://lindaikejiblogg..com/2011/02/arisekola-alao-son-kidnapped-in-lagos.html

http://www.brimtime.com/2013/03/mtn-staff-kidnapped-in-lagos.html

7842I: This view is the reason for the high rate of divorce in the outside world, if your wife is your equal, she is the one calling the shots, like right now in your house, am sure she is reading this stuff so you are just puffing to make her happy. you need to go ask your popsie how he was able to last with your mumsie.

7842I: I took the position I took when I saw you are very very ignorant about the true position things in Nigeria, like the 10 kidnaps in Lekki! That must be a bad dream palsie.

I see your intention is to derail this thread.Sorry i won't fall for that trick.My reason for starting this thread is genuine and i could careless what you think of me or my family.When you get married tie your wife and kids to a tree and whip them all day long if that will satisfy your primitively regressive male ego.Real men don't abuse women.

mekaboy: Chai, Nigeria don suffer. One day person wey dey benin republic or togo go open thread dey ask if he should come back to nigeria.

People wey dey UK US Canada Germany etc dey come back every december and festive period dey chill with their friends and family.

They even buy land and build house from scratch to finish. You go exile for south africa here for 13 years dey ask if you should come back.

Those 13 years na return ticket u dey save abi wetin make u never enter naija since? Abeg if u know wetin chase u out of naija for 13yrs please remain there.

U buy property for lekki in the past 13 years u never come see am. Abeg if the property is in a gud sight make I buy am arrange money for u so u can remain in SA for ever.

Rants of a person who has little knowledge of the outside world.It is rural people like you who make noise but when they get to South Africa they start taking pictures every 2 minutes.

7842I: The worst problem we will have in Nigeria will be to allow people with this kind of warped mindset to come back and depress the country with bad expectations. The people living here are not all dead yet and am sure you see lots of crime in SA too. Please relax there and face your life because people like you will bring back loads of pessemism and negative attitudes borne out of years of misinformation and ignorance about the true position of things.

7842I: Truth is, the OP is now a spent force, what can he contribute when he has spent the best part of his life building another mans home, he will just be another John fashanu here.

Thanks for the insults ,shows how mature and intelligent you are.I am sure when someone asks you for directions in future you will also insult them.You are a perfect example of why racist white believe Africans have an average intelligence quotient of below 70.You just jumped into the conversion and started insulting me which shows that your brain is too weak to comprehend my post.

winbyforce: 1.You seem not to be in control of your family. Did u say your kids are south africans? And your inlaws ordering you not to take them to naija? Mehn,u need to take charge and be a true nigerian.
2.There are security challenges everywhere be it lagos,new york or even south africa. Don't allow that to deter you from coming home if u have great plans. You grew up in the struggle and were made somewhat tough by it.things are not as bad as they are portrayed by the media and you know that!
3.You can create some level of comfort for yourself and ur family if your pepper rest! Money takes care of many things.
4.In the final analysis,it really depends on WHAT u're coming back to do.that should be the critical factor in determining ur next move.If your wife truly loves you,she'l move with you against all odds. Take d case of one Crystal ?Owonubi(can't accurately recall d surname now) who moved from the US-God's own country-to Jos town with her hubby amidst the boko haram terror and is making positive changes to her environment.
Peace.

While the points you made some good point ,i take offence to your first sentence.What do you mean by i am not in control of my family.I find that statement to primitively chauvinistic. What do you take women for? Dude this is 2013 and you can not force your woman to do what she does not want to do.In a relationship ,each partner must be fair and give each other respect.I don't "control" my wife as she is not my slave.This is the modern world and you must view your partner as your equal and agree to decisions together.That is the only way you can have a long lasting marriage.I know how my wife stood by me when i had so please do not assume you know anything about my family.Stick to the request and give advice.

991: you are right, those he mentioned were criminals, but innocent nigerians get killed on daily bases too . i remember Ababio from Ihiala ananmbra state(RIP)
note that Sumuyi is dead, unless some one else is answering the name.

I guess i am mixing the simunyes up.The former Nigerian athlete and Olympian who was arrested in Pretoria last year for the murder of that white woman is also known as simunye. He used to run a protection and hitman syndicate in Gauteng.I guess he is not the simunye who used to terrorize people in Yeoville back in the day.RIP to your friend.

euromilion: My friend pls go home,u may not b here 2moro 2 ask those silly question,we were the pple that were in SA when south was south,then hot but good,I see that u're new in SA if u re there only 13yrs,go on ask about these few pple Da south,sumuyi,larry,2pac and many more these are pple that made real money in SA,but where ra they now?all dead now,all their money gone now.a word is a enough.

I understand where you are coming from and get your point.That being said please note that those people you mentioned were hardened criminals who were into the underground world in SA hence why death came early for some of them.Except you are talking of another person, Simunye is still alive and was arrested recently for being involved in the assassination of a South African woman. There are still some Nigerians dying every year in SA but 95% of them are criminals who are involved in drug dealings.Law abiding Nigerians who are mostly into IT rarely ever get into trouble in SA.If you mingle with law abiding people and don't associate with shady characters ,South Africans will not bother you.I live a pretty much low profile life as i enjoy my peace and quiet as well as the company of my family.

BUSH MAN: @op you sound like a very intelligent man, the only reason i am commenting is my admiration the way you responded to some of the insults on here,it was splendid i have lived in SA also (mimosa hotels,hillbrow JHB) years ago before i moved to england this was when SA was notorious in crime i hear now its better,anyway i can understand exactly how you feel as i have the same problem now aswell (married to an english woman and kids) i am also in a way considering some of the advices on here like you mentioned earlier some of us have the same problem but in denial or perharps not brave enough to ask for advice, i do visit nigeria atleast twice a year and i ve never encounterd any of crimes mentioned on here, thus its not as bad as its been made out to be,perharps because i am not living permanently in naija, whatever advice you get here ends with your decision..cheers mate

Thank you very much for the advice.

nig2change: See Mr playmode, western media have painted this country red, my simple advice is that Nigeria is safer compare to SA but SA have an excellent infrastructure. My uncle was killed in johannesburg in 2003 by unknown gunmen. Also one of my uncle relocated to naija and he lives well in Asaba. Infrastructure is growing but Nigeria is liveable. You sound as if you weren't born here. Challenges abound everywhere. Expatriates lives in Nigeria while can't you. Kidnappers or armrobbers act on information. So beware. Don't fluent your wealth. Those who don't have hope in this country will talk nonsense. Relocation should be in phases

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle,may he rest in peace.Thank you for your advice.

[quote author=$tunna]hello big guy,
i've noticed how the voice of a wicked few here who are abusing you is louder than the voice of the many good Nigerians who show concern and care for you and are giving you advice!

its the same situation on the ground...the few wicked Nigerians are so wicked that they try to drown out the actions of the many good Nigerians in the majority in nigeria.

if you can somehow find a way to get past the few who will do you harm...then you will be alright!

you did not indicate if you visit nigeria often or if ever...but one can try and deduce that since you have a property there...you either have been there recently or you have people there who really care for ya and have been there to help you put up ur place.

if you are the type that shine...then your fear of being kidnapped can become very real when you stepped into the streets of nigeria and you look like a foreigner as you sure will for the 1 few weeks!!

do not move your family with you to nigeria if you have not visited there since you left as that will not be very wise!
i have never been to SA but have met people who had and i hear its okay there...but that depends on where you lived there, unlike nigeria where everywhere is uniformly undeveloped!!

so some of your fears about a general deterioration in ur standard of living are very real...and pls forgive some nigerians in nigeria who do not know and think that having the things you listed are a sign of wealth - it's not, that's what average pipo have in some other places.

i hide out for a few when i go to naija...so that that 'i am a stranger attitude' i unconsciously - like everyone, carry with me when im in a new place can fade away a little before i start going out...so, if you do end up there with your family...pls try that 1st as my pipo says that a hen will walk and stand on one leg often in a new place b4 it gets its bearing!

some of your family will feel like harming you too, not just strangers...if they think you have made it big and have abandoned them all these years...
so, keep reading and get to the good advice and forget (STAY AWAY FROM) the vicious attacks here...since you will need to do so too when u do end up moving to nigeria!

so be wise and stay blessed[/quote]Thank you for your honest brotherly advice,may GOD be with you.

Luvlagos: @play mode, since you have said that your wife is looking forward to move & she knows all things Nigerian then your problem is half solved. Please advise if you have family support back home, as your wife & kids will rely on that to settle. You have been out of Nigerian for a long time & things have really changed & they are getting better. I was in Nigeria last year & I had the time of my life, I guess just like going to any country in the world you need to be careful where & who you hang around with, i have travelled to a lot of places but when i advised hubby to let me be, he was worried just like you so when visited Lagos I did everything normal to just show that things aren't as crazy as you have read, we jogged everyday along the highway ( express), even forced hubby to abandon the car & we took a taxi to Oshodi as I wanted to experience the real feel of Lagos, drove to Yaba Market & yes they have malls ( spur, mug & bean, woollies, identity, mango, zara, movies & etc hey they have shoprite too ( I know shoprite is for the low income group in SA but hey it does the trick when you are in Nigeria), electricity was constant too. I wanted to experience Lagos for what it is & I am glad I did & if I listened or took to Heart to what other people were saying on Nairaland regarding Nigeria I would have not enjoyed it or i would have been paranoid, I will say this a lot of Nigerian are not good ambassadors for their country & the media out there is not helping as well, the Nigeria you read about or see on Tv is very different from the real Nigeria.
Wish you you all the best

I am glad to hear about your great experiences in Lagos.Thank you for your concern and well-wishes.

Gbawe: @Playmode.



You must do what is best for your children and your wife. Forget yourself. You are a man and can/must 'rough it'. Don't put them in any gamble you want to make. Don't listen to the "Nigeria is paradise" charlatans here. Move back, alone, for a year and see if you can make it work and if the Country meets your expectations. If the move is good and productive then bring your family to join you.

look, let me tell you this for free since not many tell the truth here. The number of families (wife and kids) sent to the UK to be maintained by a husband in Nigeria is increasing frighteningly - especially among the wealthy class who can easily afford to maintain their family in Nigeria yet choose to send them here. I am telling you the truth.

Our political leaders are evil with how they say "Nigeria is safe and fantastic" while they are sending their wives and kids to live abroad as if Nigeria is about to be nuked. Nigerian political family can now even claim St John's wood and Hampstead in London. Through direct and extended association I know at least 20 families with this arrangement. My brother, no long thing. Move back on your own abeg. You are a man. You will be OK. Bring the family if you feel they can be happy and fulfilled. I am telling you this as a husband and father with kids.

Thank you very much bros,as usually you are very articulate.

whitebrown: Firstly, It is very sad the way some people are so eager to swear and curse and insult, even if the poster's question seemed a bit insensitive, is it too much to respectfully reproach and correct? I wonder atimes the age of some contributors on nairaland. @ playmode I also reside in SA and have been for over a decade but I will share my experience with you. From your post, I can infer that you have been absent from Nigeria for far too long, you have lost touch with reality, the longer you stay away from home, the more difficult it is to return, over the decade, I have not ever for a period of 1 yr never visited home atleast thrice, not really visit in the real sense of it but from the onset , I chose a line of business involving trade between the two countries, moving back to Nigeria is not just about packing and finding accommodation and going there to start a business, Nigeria is a country with unique dynamics, definitely easier to do business in, and a great place affordability, SA is like most of the western countries, I do travel very very much and host friends who come down on holiday and we get to sit and talk and I promise you, if you don't leave sentiments and start looking home, you will be so so so lost and behind. First thing you need to do is decide whether you really want to and ready to return home, because if you are all the things you listed are not enough to deter you. Secondly I am not advocating relocating your family suddenly, but your wife needs to make up her mind whether she wants a husband or infrastructures, I believe wherever the mans goes, the wife follows, it's called love and support, lastly from my experience, people build their world and comfort around them in Nigeria, start your business and then you can always buy your comfort, if Nigeria is now growing economically at such a phenomenal pace, what would you be looking for anywhere else, just to finish off, fuel for your car?affordable;food, I mean great food?affordable; cash? We are a cash economy, I.e no credits, no accounts, no lawyers or debt collectors chasing you with phone calls and credit bureaus and blacklisting etc; lastly the most loving and amazing people, my wife comes to Nigeria with or without me and when I hear her talk of Nigerians and calls them 'my people' , it atimes takes me a while to even remember that she isn't Nigerian and she lets me in on what's happening in the social circle in Nigeria including the latest musics LOL, your wife needs to open up and decide!

Thank you ,your advice is very crucial as you stay here.

I will intimate you about a few facts :

(A) My wife is crazy about Nigeria.
(B) My wife and kids love Nigerian food and eat it at least twice a week
(C) My wife prefers to listen to Nigerian music than western music
(D) My kids refer to themselves as Nigerians even though they only have SA passports
(E) My wife is addicted to linda ikeji and reads the blog daily even at work
(F) My wife wear Nigerian clothes with pride and joy

My wife is the one who first suggested we move to Nigeria a few years ago before i started feeling home sick.She is so addicted to Nigerian food especially plantain,suya,ogbono and moi moi that she just wanted to move immediately .She was not bothered about boko harams or Naija delta fighters then because she knew from the onset that we will be staying in Lagos.I subsequently made plans with my family and built a residence in Lagos,researched which school my kids will attend and so on and so forth. Our plans were on track until last year when this kidnapping incidents started getting worse and then it reached a breaking point early this year when kidnappings took place in lagos.

Predictably she started getting scared and her enthusiasm to move to Nigeria died down.She hasn't given up on moving but understandably she is worried about the safety of the kids.I actually visited home 5 years ago but only stayed for a week because of pressing business in SA.I did not get a chance to look around or settle down.The sad part of it is that i travel a lot out SA on business but not to Nigeria.I guess i thought sending money home was enough than actually visiting and having first had experience of what is going on.I do want to change that now and the advice you have given is very much appreciated.

wesley80: @OP, Person wey no read your post well go think say you dey stay for Kensington Palace Gardens in London!
Any of these ring a bell? Marikana mine riots - 32 dead, Worse crime rate in the world, home of Soweto all stars, Rape more common than pure water sachet, ubiquitous male-nyash observers (homo thingz), Wetinnnnnnn no be South Africa again?
Truth SA is years ahead of Nigeria with great infrastructure and much different challenges but please please please dont regale us with tales of superb everything cos we know that just like our dear Naija, not everything is superb. Dont use your 504 to remind me my Fathers beetle is crap - no be person dey ride Ferarri? Bros abeg park well jare.

I was going to ignore this comment but i feel that some facts need to be put straight so that gossip t=does not become facts.

I am not sure if you are capable of grasping simple English language because you seem to be insinuating that i mentioned that i live in luxury.Please for the record i stated that i have access to basic amenities and these basic amenities make my life easier. At no point did i say i was living like a billionaire.If basic amenities which is enjoyed by even the poorest South Africans resemble luxury or Kensington Palace Gardens in London to you then you must be living a very miserable existence. Electricity ,Good roads and good medical facilities are basic human rights in civilized countries.Needless to say your post reeks of jealousy and has no bearing on my request whatsoever.


Now let me address the things said about SA;

(A)Marikana mine riots - 32 dead

First of they were protest not riots.Yes 32 miners protesting for better wages were shot dead when they ran towards the armed police force with their weapons in their hands? Please tell me how that is a crime?

If you were a police officer and a protester ran towards you with a machete in his hands what will you do?

(A) Wave at him and say hello

(b) Shoot him to defend yourself

What the miners did was stupid ,they were fooled by a babalawo who gave a juju to rob their bodies.He told that the juju will make them invisible to bullet.Now ask yourself which sane individual believe such nonsense?

Secondly Marikana is a rural mining area which is far from where the middle class live in South Africa.That was one mining protest that went wrong.One out of thousands of protest that take place every year.This has no bearing on SA's crime stats.

(B)Worse crime rate in the world

This is highly debatable because the formula being used to calculate these stats are flawed and sometimes biased towards the west.Some African countries like DRC and some South African American countries are way more violent than SA.The USA is also a very violent country with more guns owned per person that any where else in world.You should watch a program call 48 hours.Furthermore in South Africa ,you can go to the police's website and download crime stats for the all the local government in the country.Is that possible with the Nigerian police? At least in SA you know which areas to avoid living in.One last thing crime is more common in the township areas (ghettos) that anywhere else in the country.Most middle class residential area are well secured with armed private guards.These are the kind of areas where Nigerians live in in SA hence why we do not experience much crime.98% of the Nigerians who experiences crime in SA are usually criminals themselves or are usually set up by other Nigerian when a deal goes bad.I have lived in SA for 13 years and have only been robbed once (11 years ago) because of my own carelessness at the time.


(C)home of Soweto all stars

I honestly do not know what this mean so please elaborate.

(D)Rape more common than pure water sachet

...And rape is non existent in Nigeria,DRC or other African countries?

(E)ubiquitous male-nyash observers (homo thingz)

How does it affect my life? I am not gay and do not have gay friends so they do not bother me.Do we not have Charley boy and Denrele in Nigeria who are openly gay celebrities? what about the numerous Nigerian gays living in Nigeria? Please try again this point is weak.

(F)wetinnnnnnn no be South Africa again?

Yes it is Sa again ,do you have insecurities ? what is your beef with SA? I am proudly Nigerian but i hate it when Africans start hating other Africans.It is called Nigger mentality.What i find silly is that guys like you want to turn this thread into another Nigeria vs SA battleground.Please go fight your anti SA battles somewhere else.This thread is about giving a brother sound and progressive advice.

Next please!

Ibadiarann: Guy, the questions you asked are absolutely unnecessary. You sound like a smart dude. Relocation is not a joke no matter the direction (home to abroad or abroad back home). You know exactly what to do. Come home alone, get your business or work going. By the time you stay around for six months, I am very sure u ll make up your mind even b4 6 months elapse.

Nigeria is actually better than 13 yrs ago. It depends on which part you fall. For those living in the north, gboko haram has made it worse than 13 yrs ago, for those in govt qtrs, those in the oil and gas sector and those that work out oil subsidy, now is better than 13 yrs ago. So bro, the ball is in your court, decide for yourself.

God Bless you , appreciate the way you shoot straight.This is definitely one of the best posts here so far.

Godogwu: LAWL!! Please shoot someone in broad day light in front of the police and tell me how you fare in kirikiri.

At the Post... Ermm i think Rossike said it all, SA is more developed, but if you have a good steady income in Nigeria which according to your post.. You do, so my man you have nothing to worry about. Your not popular or anything that you should be kidnapped, I stay in VGC whenever I'm in Lagos with my Dad. Many of my friends do too and we chill a lot, and no one has been kidnapped -__-, so yea... Your safe. Its really not as bad as some broke Nigerians and "uninformed" outsiders paint it aii.....probably this helps.

For all those Nigerians that see SA as Heaven, *laughs*.

Well said bro,good and very informed comment.

nosike3: #this guy is a clown... Who ask you all this question? Mod be this monkey wey escape for zoo? Stop disturbing us with ur family problem (thatz if itz even true).. Very soon you will tell us how ur daughter had her first menses and how you jeck off to sleep at night..

You should do an IQ test and post the results here so we can determine how retarded you are.Your brain definitely lacks sufficient electrical power to generate coherent and intelligent responses.FYI this is a forum not BBM so please type in readable English language instead of kindergarten sms language.Your capacity or lack of to reason intelligently exposes the fact that you have the mind of a two year old child.

babe2011: My advise is pls pls stay where u are or u can be going to SA to see your family. Forget what people tell you to come back home, if some of them were in your shoe ,they will prefer to stay abroad cause of so many problem in nigeria. I live abroad too for a long time and people were advising me to come home no place like home now I'm back home, so many stress here and there, to get job wahala,no electricity, water and so many things. Sometimes I regret coming back to nigeria. Thou I'm not saying I'm not proud to be a nigerian.

I am so sorry to hear about your experience,i hope things get better for you.I had a friend who left SA in 2010 but returned in 2011 because he could not get used to living in Naija again.At the time i thought he was crazy but here i am in 2013 in almost the same shoes as him.I guess for each person it is a different scenario.Life has a way of throwing curves balls at people.

Billyonaire: You have wasted 13yrs of your life in SA, now you say you need a place to stay and also mention that you own a property in lekki axis, you are a fat liar. Did you say there are 10 kidnappings in Lekki ? I can only say God punish you. Cos there is no such things here, bring it on clever nematode.

You know the sad part about your post? My wife and her younger brother are reading this thread and you are not presenting a good image of my beloved country.It is people like you who make foreigners see Nigerians as uncivilized people.If your brain can not muster an intelligent response to my request please be a decent man and exit the thread.This is not "Mushin" where you can be ranting like a tout.

redsun: The tale of a blackman.Caught between the devil and the deep blue.

Foreign land is the devil,while his never dowell people is the deep blue sea and he is caught inbetween.

I feel you bruv.

Thanks.I know for a fact that many Nigerians even on nairaland are in the same boat as me but are either too shy or too scared to voice out their dilemma. My uncle who is 56 years old has been in the USA since 1978,he own 8 properties in Nigeria but does not seem to want to back home.When ever i ask him if he will ever move back to Nigeria permanently ,he just shrugs off the question.My older brother has also been in the USA since 1986 and also does not seem to want to come back home.Both of them are now citizens of the USA but visit Nigeria more regularly than i do. I certainly do not want to follow in their trend ,not even one bit.

coogar: if you don't have enough money or a steady stream of income that can give you a mirror image of what you currently enjoy then never go to nigeria. people would build castles in the air for you with their mouths but they are all lying. only 1% of the population are actually living, the others are only existing!

home is where you make it - i dunno how people get home sick. i love nigeria but i don't miss it to the point of thinking about relocation. the time is not right at all so stay put until you can afford a nice house in a well-secured area....if you are married to my sister and you relocate her to nigeria and something terrible happens to her, i would kill you!

Well said bro.

Dreamflyin: U wanna come home?
Really?
I was in humewood, PE for 6months, and i bet u, SA is next to heaven co pared to this riot called Nigeria.
Nigeria is good if u've got a big biz u wanna do here, but coming down wit ur Xhosa wifey is a NO NO!! She'll run bak to SA wit d kids after few months. No Boardwalk, parks for d kids. They'll just hang u as d dad, seriously.

They'll also stick out, and dat in naija is nt gud ooo among their fwllow kids. Nw wat about d noisy generator u'll hav to get? Hw about d potholes u'll drive dem on, or wil u just stick ur family in Lekki?

Sir, to avoid future fence off wit d family, it's better they visit dan stayin bak. Marrying a foreigner is a one way highway. D kids will neva come n settle bak home. U'll nt b d first or d last. Please, let ur family stay bak.

ROFLMAO - Chai bros you wicked O! My wife is actually half swazi/half zulu.