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Pmdaboh's Posts

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Romance / Re: I Think I'm Going Crazy Over A Man by pmdaboh(f): 5:58am On Jul 01, 2007
Rejection hurts, especially when you really love someone, but trying to force someone to love you, to me, hurts even worse, for it is not done willingly.  Ask God to send you someone that will love you as much as you love him.  No one is worth pursuing to the point that your feelings, emotions, and eventually, pride is horribly injured.

If a man does not pursue you or show any interest in you, just walk away.  Sure, you will feel lonely, cry, and it will tear you up on the inside, but guess what, you will begin to heal from the pain. 

Walk away and "DON'T LOOK BACK". 
Culture / Re: Any Ijaw Here? by pmdaboh(f): 4:21pm On May 29, 2007
I found my word list that I use if I forget how to spell something, so I thought I would share the rest of the words I currently know how to write. I did not have the word list near me when I first responded to this.

ayoro (new wife)
beni (water)
bibi (word)
bo (come)
biri (stomach)
boboruh (evening)
emele (sweet)
okolo (voice)
emiyenkah (thank you)
Enateh (do you hear)
kekoh (soon)
Okada (motor bike)
mubra (went)
taareh (love)
Tamara (God Almighty)
Tamara Kuroh (By God's Grace)
Tebra enih erin mubrami? (How did your day went?)
Tebrah enih erin mumenibra? (How is your day going?)
Tebra enih bieh? (How was your day?)
Tebra (How are you?)
Eyenbai (and yours?)
Kuleh (regards)
Oseh Kulek (regards to all)
Tebrayee (What)
Ekiyouh (heart)
Powei (glad)
Hee (you)
Haa (she)
Huu (him)
Owohma (children)
Toboh (Child)
Derei (laugh)
Deremini (laughing)
Teke Imo Duwoh Derimini? (why are you laughing?)
Dou (want)
Opu (big)
Kala (small)
Mu (go)
Tekepamah? (what happened?)
Irah (time)
Beke (English)
Nimi (Know)
Tuwapereh (blessed)
Sesei (Please)
bieh (day)

Wow! Eeh (I) have shared the extent of the Ijaw bibi (words) eeh (I) nimi (know). Eeh (I) hope this helps hee (you) somewhat. Sesei (please) have a tuwapereh (blessed) bieh (day)!

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Culture / Re: Any Ijaw Here? by pmdaboh(f): 1:00pm On May 29, 2007
Hello.  I am African American, and my husband is Ijaw (he lives in Lagos, Nigeria).  He and my stepson got approved to come to the states, and he is waiting to receive his interview.  Hopefully, he will be here next month.  He is teaching me how to speak and write in Ijaw.

Gba e diyya, tebra enih erin mumenibra?  Enih bieh is gelewuh.

Tell me, how is your day going?                 My Day is wonderful.

gelewuh (wonderful)
werebrah (yes)
werebraha (no)
ebikah (good)
Tebra (how are you)
eyofar (fine)
ere (wife)
Jeehi (husband)
baalah (morning)
dinbawareh (good night)
Ado (general greeting)
kaeteh (greeting to elder person or husband)
eeh (I)
enih (my)
kalajuh kekoh (very soon)
saramoh (on time)

These are just a few words that I use when writing and talking to my husband on IM or by way of e-mail.

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Crime / Re: How To Stop 419 and Yahoo Boys by pmdaboh(f): 6:53am On May 29, 2007
To Naijacutee:  What can you do, when you personally have been manipulated by someone who represents himself as being a Nigerian and uses the 419.  I will tell you the answer-- not much!  Although I am African American and married to a Nigerian man, I was taken advantage of by someone who identified himself as a Nigerian man from Lagos, Nigeria prior to meeting my husband.   I know, first hand, what it feels like to be manipulated by someone who identifes himself as being Nigerian.  I had a lot of anger in my heart over the incident, and I blamed myself for trusting someone that, when I thought about it, was a complete stranger.  But in the end, even with legal authorities, and with cousins on the local police force who serve as detectives, with the best equipment, it was impossible to  track them (for he used other people to confirm stories that were not true)  down.  It takes more reserve, strength, and control, Naijacutee, to simply move on and count it as a lost (especially if you have lost great sums of money).

If you have a solution to this ever growing problem, instead of criticizing my solution to it, please offer one.  For I am all ears!    This problem, as was pointed out by someone else in their response,  existed long before Yahoo ever came into existence.    I choose, for sanity sake, to move on, and make sure I, personally, never loan or send anyone in Nigeria any funds if I do not know them personally, for it is just foolish to do so.  I also opened my heart to another Nigerian man that is wonderful (my husband) after that experience.  So I have tasted of BOTH SIDES of Nigeria, and yet, I thank God I stilll have a passion  and love for Nigeria and its people.

One thing, I have done, is not to dislike all Nigerians for the manipulation of a few of them.  For I know there are MANY NIGERIANS that are  decent and working honestly toward a bright future for themselves and their families.  What can any of us do but to make sure we are not manipulating innocent people, and therefore, not add to the number count of those that do.  Nigeria's reputation is horrible in America.  Even after my husband has proved to be honest, decent, and sincere,  some co-workers still  found the need to say,  "beware of him , do not sign anything on his behalf.". As the time comes closer for him and my stepson to join me soon, I find out how others feel (family members)  about Nigerians more and more.  What can I do to help stop 419, I do not know!  All I know is that I refuse to dislike all Nigerians because of the manipulative actions of a few.  

The 419 uses many schemes, not just requesting that you send money to collect lottery money.  Sometimes they use romance and other schemes as well.  And as it was also said, once you have been "dumb enough" to be fooled once, you will never fall for it again.
Religion / Re: How Do I Know If God Is Speaking To Me? by pmdaboh(f): 5:37am On May 29, 2007
Yes God does speak through various ways. The experience I shared with you was just one way he can speak. Read your bible daily, meditate on his word, and pray to God. In doing those things, you will discover more of God and he will begin to speak to you.
Family / Re: Can A Husband Forgive Wife Caught In Adultery? by pmdaboh(f): 5:20am On May 29, 2007
I would say an average man cannot forgive a wife's adultery. A man's pride is a strong force to reckon with. Women have been forgiving men their adulterous affairs for years, and ironically, it seems to be expected of them to do so. But how often do you hear of a man forgiving his adulterous wife of her affair? Should a man forgive a wife that has committed adultery, I say "yes", for according to the word if we do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will our heavenly father forgive us our trespasses. But in reality, sins like that can and are forgiven but not forgotten. It is in remembering that thing that will make a man not want to touch or be near his adulterous wife every again!

I personally do not know one man that has forgiven his wife for an adulterous affair or remained with her afterwards.
Family / Re: I Impregnanted My Best Friend's Only Daughter by pmdaboh(f): 5:09am On May 29, 2007
There is a difference between lust and love.  It can feel the same, but you know when it is lust when you wake up and say, "I impregnated my best friends daughter . . . . . please tell me what to do".  You also are now concerned about how this will affect your wife and children, so it is amazing how lust, not love, can snap you out of fantasy land now that she is pregnant.   If it was true love, it could be an OPEN love, where you do not have to hide or sneak around.  It was lust . . . .brother!

What should you do . . .my God have mercy on you all.  I cannot imagine what I would feel like to know that my husband impregnated a girl in my own home behind my back. 

You have to face whatever comes to you, for you did not care enough to even use sexual protection, but you just laid down with her and let it flow . .never mind that you had a wife . .and she was a girl under the protection of your home.  She was under you protection.  The father expects other males to make advances towards his daughter, but my God not the man he put in charge of her welfare.  You should have made her go back to her home if you were losing contol over youself!

I am not condeming you, for you must stand before God and not me, but I feel for you, for LUST got the better of you and the girl.  She too knew that you were married and you had a wife.  It is not just YOUR FAULT ALONE.  If she is over 18 years of age, she knew and could control what she was doing as well.

I will pray for you.  Please keep us informed, for I want to know how it went with you.  I pray your marriage and life, and that of the girl can be put back together.  Your friendship with the girls' father is probably over, and if I were you, I would be fearful for my personal safety.  That was the worse betrayal of a male friend.  You know you men will get very violent over something like this.  Watch your back!
Family / Re: Nigeria Law For Divorce by pmdaboh(f): 4:55am On May 29, 2007
Hello. I am African American and married a Nigerian man January 4, 2007. He and my stepson have been approved to come to the states by Immigration. He is now waiting for his interview to finalize everthing.

I think your question, although worded well, does not really ask what you need to know. When you have to fill out your petitions on behalf of your husband to come to America, they will REQUIRE that he provide them with legal divorce papers. My husband was married before, and he got married in the African tradition and divorced in the African tradition. However, after I read the requirments for submitting the I130 Petition and the I129F Petition to bring my husband over to America, it clearly states that if your spouse is previously married, he/she must submit "DIVORCE" papers. Therefore, it may not be required in Africa, but it sure is required in America. Get him to hire a lawyer and get a legal divorce (English translation, for that is the only accepted version).

Take my word for it, if he does not have a legal divorce on paper, you will NEVER be able to process him into the United States.

I am working on an article entitled, "Going Through The Immigration Process To Bring Your Nigerian Husband To America", for many women have contacted me due to the article I wrote and submitted on Nigerians In America entitled, "Rejected For Loving A Nigerian Man". My Article, which I plan on submitting on Nigerians In America (it has to be approved before it is visible to the public), outlines all the necessary steps in getting your Nigerian husband over to America after you marry him in Nigeria. It shows how to do it successfully and in the shortest turn around time possible that my experience has taught me.

I will also post it here as an attachment, so look out for the topic.

Best wishes to you and your love!
Crime / Re: How To Stop 419 and Yahoo Boys by pmdaboh(f): 4:41am On May 29, 2007
I think the best way to fight 419 as a Nigerian is to continue as you are being a decent human being who works for a living and cares about your country's reputation. I am African American and my husband is Nigerian, and he sometimes lets Nigeria's reputation bother him. To be honest, we African Americans get ashamed if an African American commits a horrible crime in the states, for we know it will reflect on the black community as well. But when it comes down to it, we must make sure we are not, individually manipulating or taking advantage of others for personal financial gain, and pray that those who are will be caught.
Religion / Re: How Do I Know If God Is Speaking To Me? by pmdaboh(f): 4:23am On May 29, 2007
My youngest daughter, who accepted Christ in her life, asked me the same question one day.  She wanted to know how does one know when God is speaking to them, for she heard many of her brothers and sisters in Christ say, "God spoke to my spirit  or heart" about this or that.  And she was getting frustrated, for she felt as though she did not have a personal experience with God speaking to her.  She began to feel something was wrong with her as a Christian.

I explained to her that when you first accept Christ as your Lord and Savior, you are newly born into the kingdom of Christ, and you have so many things to learn.  I told her when God speaks to my heart or spirit, it is a "still voice" within me.  I remember when I was preparing to come to Lagos, Nigeria and marry my husband, and some people were against it.  They feared for my safety, for I was flying for the first time, traveling to a foreign country alone as a woman, and marrying a man that they knew little about.  One morning in the shower, God said to me, "Fear Not!"  I was not thinking about the trip at that moment, and it caught me off guard.  I looked up toward the ceiling, for it was just that powerful.  It was not an audible voice that I heard, but the strength of those words and assurance I felt when I heard, "Fear Not!", carried me from South Carolina to Lagos, Nigeria.  You have to know that prior to that flight, which was my first flight, I feared flying.  Matter fact, I said I would NEVER fly unless someone called me and said my child, mother or sister or brother were harmed, and I had to get to them quickly.  I really had a serious fear of flying.  However, I loved my, then fiance, so very much that I did not reflect on the hours I would be in the air on the plane, but I first "spoke out loud to relatives and friends" that I was going to marry him.  After that people tried to convince me that it was very unsafe to travel to Lagos with all the Travel Warnings, and he is a Nigerian.  God may have known I needed encouragement, and he spoke to me unexpectantly in the shower one morning.  Thank God for it.  When the plane shook occassionally due to turbulence, I knew that it would not come down, for God has said to me personally, "Fear Not!". 

When God speaks to your heart (inside of you), you will know it is him.  It is a very personal experience for everyone, so ask him to give you the assurance that it is his voice.
Family / Re: Please Help, My Wife Wants To Leave Me by pmdaboh(f): 7:20pm On May 26, 2007
I believe if you could go back and change your past behavior as a husband, you would.  I just started a "thread" that asks the question, "Should a Husband or Wife Develop Close Relationships With Someone of the Opposite Sex?".  Ironically, reading your topic kind of answered that.  Women are usually forgiving by nature, and are more willing to give someone a second chance, depending on the offense, than most men are (especially in the areas such as this).  However, when a woman gets to the point where she has been through hell and high water (as the expression goes), and she just cannot take it or is not willing to take it any longer due to her husband's treatement, she can and will usually turn her feelings off and proceed forward, contemplating a future without him.  Perhaps she has just had enough of trying to trust you and you continually lie to her, and you are still playing games.  When trust is broken in a marriage or relationship, it is hard to build that back up again.

I would advise that you make one LAST PLEA
with her, but you MUST be willing to be TOTALLY HONEST about your past mistakes.  You must not continue to lie to cover up the past lies, which only creates present lies.  Your wife seems at a point where she is tired of playing games, for she means what she says!

Try honesty and much prayer!  If that does not work, than know that sometimes when we mess up, the broken pieces do not always fit back together.  If that happens, learn and grow from this mistake, and do not develop a friendship that is more stronger with ANYONE other than your wife, whom you say you love and desire to spend your life with.

I pray it works out the way you want it to!
Family / Re: Can Marriage Survive Without Children by pmdaboh(f): 5:20am On May 26, 2007
That depends on the married couple. If both are in agreement that they do not want children, then their decision is all that matters. However, this should be discussed prior to the wedding. It is possible for both to say they do not want children, and then one of them changes his/her mind. If that happens, then I forsee there will be problems in the marriage.
Romance / Re: How Are Interracial Relationships Viewed In Nigeria? by pmdaboh(f): 5:11am On May 26, 2007
Hello.  I enjoyed the topic, for I am an African American woman married to a Nigerian man.  He and my stepson will join me in the states soon.  One thing I noticed that most of the responses, concerning "mixed couples" only dealt with the "black and white" issue.  There are many more mixed couples than an African woman and a White man.  Believe it or not, I, being an African American woman, have caught much negativity simply because my husband is a Nigerian.  In America, I have been questioned, doubted, and even rejected due to whom I love.  Yes, our skin color is the same (I am a bit lighter than him but brown-skinned none the less), but because I am African American and he is a Nigerian, we still face many of the things that an African woman with a White man will face.  Except in our case, many believe that he is the one benefiting from my American status, for I am his "ticket" to America.  Never mind we just love one another, want to be together, and want to share our lives together.  Many African Americans feel he is blessed to have me (the American), but I am equally blessed to have his love and devotion.  I was questioned, many times before coming to Lagos, Nigeria to marry him, "why marry an African man . . .!"  It is so odd.  In Nigeria, I am very respected and looked up to for marrying a Nigerian man; however, in America, I am looked down on (by some and more than enough) for marrying a Nigerian man.   While I was in Nigeria (during my wedding and honeymoon), Nigerians felt that since I am African American, the family's status was lifted to a higher level.  It did not matter that my skin color, as was said, is brown-skinned, just because I am African American, and my husband is Nigerian, it was like "he had arrived".

So, you see there are many "mixed couples", and various reasons why people like, or do not like, the fact that they are together.  In America, mixed couples and mixed children are very common.  One of my brothers is married to an Italian girl, and my other brother is married to a Jamacian girl.  My two nephews have babies by white girls.  So you see, in America, it is so common.  My family heritage is mixed with Black Foot Indian, Irish, and African.  In Nigeria, seeing  mixed couples, might take some getting use to it, but in America it is really no "big deal".

But whether someone excepts or ejects you, you have to live your own life.
TV/Movies / Re: Millions Of Sparks Of Jubilation As Jordin Sparks Wins 2007 American Idol by pmdaboh(f): 11:31pm On May 24, 2007
Hello from America.  I am in strong agreement with Seun.  My family and I have watched this season of American Idol from the beginning, and I was disapointed that Melinda did not win--not because she is an African American woman like me--but because, in my opinion, her voice was more diverse and unique as compared to Jordin.  In addition, Melinda, had GREAT stage presence.  Jordin has a nice and powerful voice, but she pretty much, with the exception of a few performances, stood behind the microphone and "belted out her songs!"    She is young and bubbly, and American voters decided that the 17 year old was going to win this season!  I never voted for her though.

Ironically though, I think "Blake" with his unique sound, ability to relate to the young people, will be much more marketable than Jordin or Melinda.  Taylor Hicks won last season, but he does not have the biggest hits out there.  That goes to show "everything that glitters is not always gold".  
Romance / Re: Caught My Husband With His Mistress In Our Room by pmdaboh(f): 7:14pm On May 24, 2007
That was my advice . .to seek God's direction and her own heart. Let us hope and pray things turn out well for her.
Romance / Re: Caught My Husband With His Mistress In Our Room by pmdaboh(f): 6:57pm On May 24, 2007
It is difficult to give advise without knowing what led up to the point when you caught him being unfaithful to you.  Only you know how much you really love him and know how much you are willing to endure because of your love and commitment to him.  However what bothers me is that he did not have the decency to take her somewhere else, but he actually made love to her in the home where you two live.  There was no respect, in any form, shown to you as his wife.  Now I know some of you may be saying what difference does it make, for he still cheated on her.  To me, it is like in that moment, for I do not know your husband and do not want to talk against him, he had NO RESPECT for you as his wife at all.  

Evaluate yourself as a wife.  Were you doing everything you should have been doing as a wife (taking care of his needs domestically and sexually).  Did you two argue a lot?  After you evaluate yourself as a wife, not necessarily evaluating him as a husband in that moment, if you feel you have done all that God requires (help meet), and you loved him to the best of your ability, than you must make a decision if your HEART can bear the pain of it, and if he is worth giving another chance.  Yes, you should forgive him (God's word says we should forgive), but just because you forgive a person, does not necessarily mean life, such as you have known it prior to the offense, will go back to the same way it was.  Sometimes, something hurts so deeply and profoundly, that you are not capable to going BACK TO THE STATE where you first were with a person.  

Pray, evaluate your actions, pray some more, be honest about if you want to make it with him, and make your decision.  Make your decision in your own time, and do not allow people to rush you into a decision or tell you that you are taking too long.  It is your life, and you must answer to God for it--not us!

I hope I have said something that has helped. A PRAYER:  Lord Jesus please bless this sister in making up her mind whether she should go back to her husband.  You know her heart and her husband's , and only YOU DEAR GOD can mend their marriage.  Please help my dear sister in Jesus Name I pray.  AMEN
Music/Radio / Re: Looking To Form A Rock Band by pmdaboh(f): 7:00pm On May 22, 2007
I am learning more and more as I read the forums on here. I really did not know that Nigerians listen to or like rock groups. In America, mostly white people listen to rock groups and country music . .for it is more of their speed. And African Americans mostly listen to R&B, Hip Hop, Gospel, and Inspirational music. Of course, there are some African Americans that listen to rock groups and country music, but they are in the minority.

This is vey interesting. . . .Please tell me the names of some Nigerian rock group bands, so I can check out the sound.

I am curious. Thank you.
Music/Radio / Re: 'Nigerian' Hip Hop Doesnt Make Sense by pmdaboh(f): 6:58pm On May 22, 2007
I posted this to the wrong forum . .
Music/Radio / Re: 'Nigerian' Hip Hop Doesnt Make Sense by pmdaboh(f): 6:42pm On May 22, 2007
Hello.  I am an African American woman, and my husband is Nigerian.  We got married in Lagos, Nigeria this year, and he and my stepson will be soon joining me in the states.   Prior to my coming to Lagos (by the way my first visit there),  my then fiance, sent me quite a lot of music (gospel, R&B, and some I could not tell what category it feel into).  My favorite R&B recording artist so far is Sunny Neji (Oruka)!.  Our music industry, just like our television industry,  is very far advanced as far as special effects and angle shots  in the videos and the ability to mix the sound in the studio, for we have the technology to make it look and sound "unbelievable" (maybe to unbelievable, for when you hear some of the artists in person, it is not the same)!   But I think it is nothing wrong with labeling your hip hop music (naija hip hop), for it is very unique in respect to its sound.  That way, when someone goes into a store  to buy naija hip hop or orders it through the internet, they will realize that it is not the same type of hip hop that they are use to listening to, for it is unique to that of the Nigerian region.  I think to call it that will make it "actually stand out and apart from the others in the hip hop category", which will, as it evolves, make it impossible for anyone else to take credit to its unique sound and blend. 

By the way, my favorite recording Gospel artist is Sammie Okposo and 'D'X Generation (Unconditional Love Video CD).   
Business / Re: Any Good Business For A Married Woman? by pmdaboh(f): 3:25pm On May 21, 2007
To me that depends on her passion. What does she like to do? What makes her happy? If she is going to go into business, it should be in an industry that she can envision herself getting up and happily going to every day! I believe only she can answer that for herself.

Best wishes!
Nairaland / General / Re: How Did You Spend Your Weekend? by pmdaboh(f): 3:03pm On May 21, 2007
My weekend was spent with family and friends, talking to my husband on IM (he lives in Lagos, Nigeria and will soon join me in the states), and at church. It was very nice!
Politics / Re: 99% Of Nigerians Are Corrupt And Dubious by pmdaboh(f): 2:02pm On May 21, 2007
One person commented on the connection between the "level of poverty and the level of corruption".  I, too, believe there is a strong connection as well.  During my stay in Lagos, Nigeria and it surrounding countryside, I had never seen poverty such as that in my life.  I am not saying that anyone has an excuse to use manipulation and corruption because they are very poor, but perhaps their level of poverty breeds desperation!  I do not know what it feels like to go hungry, not have available electricity on a daily basis, and to live in less than sanitary conditions.  I would like to think that I would still carry myself with integrity, good morals, and ethics.  But to be honest, I do not know how those types of circumstances would influence my behavior.   Even as a Christian, I hope I would stand the test!

To answer the question, I simply do not know if 99% of Nigerians are corrupt or dubious.  God knows we have many of corrupt and dubious people right here in America.  I think Nigeria is so focused on, because like the phrase said, "It is easier to kick a man when he is already down."  What I mean by that is, with the recent elections, there is much focus on the poverty level, infrequent electrical supply, lack of sanitation, corruption, fraud, and violence.  So since Nigeria is in the spot light, once again, people are just jumping on the "band wagon", and taking the already struggling country, through the "ringer of negative judgments".   I keep hoping someone will finally say something positive about Nigeria.   All the focus is on the negative aspects of Nigeria right now!  And another thing I notice is that a lot of the negative comments about Nigeria and Nigerians, come from Nigerians themselves!  

My husband is Nigerian, and I am an African American.  The fight to defend my choice for marrying a Nigerian is a constant battle--especially from my mother!  He and my stepson will join me in the states very shorty, and it is not fair that he and I should have such a battle simply because he is Nigerian.  

So, I will not help the negative perception of Nigeria and Nigerians by saying 99% of them are corrupt.  I pray to God this figure is very much inflated!

Business / Re: Any Jamaicans In Nigeria? Will Nigeria Welcome Me There For Business? by pmdaboh(f): 11:54pm On May 20, 2007
ckenneths , One thing about me is that if I am wrong, I am quick to apologize or repent of a wrong doing. I read and re-read your response to the question again. And, ckenneths, as a Business Education Teacher, who has instructed adults as well as children, I could not sense a tone of humor in any part of your response to the question. If you were attempting to be humorous in your response, and in order not to be taken the wrong way, than at some point, I believe it is writing etiquette to include phrases, for examples, such as: (1) no seriously . . . . (2) or just kidding . . . etc. That way, no one reading your response will get the impression that you really mean "just what you are writing". You did not indicate that you were just joking in any part of your response. Whether I personally believe you were using humor or not is not the point; however, I wonder if the person writing the question realized it.

Even with that being said, I wish you a blessed and prosperous future.

Patricia M. Daboh
Business / Re: Any Jamaicans In Nigeria? Will Nigeria Welcome Me There For Business? by pmdaboh(f): 6:23pm On May 20, 2007
ckenneths . . .you sound very bitter!  I wish things had worked out for you, but just because you have experienced "life" in a rather negative way, that is no reason to be rude.  If America and other countries had that same attitude, how could any of us help one another.  Oprah Winfrey just came into Africa, opened a school for girls (free of charge to them), and will oversee their education all the way through college.  Americans, Jamacians, and other ethic groups have much to offer Africa, just like Africans have much to offer other countries if they are given an opportunity. 

I was taken advantage of by someone who identified himself as a Nigerian, prior to meeting and marrying my Nigerian husband who will soon join me in the states (I am African American).  However, I asked God to help me not to harden my heart against Nigerians just because one in paricular was a manipulator.  I pray your bitterness turns around, for if your experience can allow you to be this rude to a person (no matter what his/her nationality) who would like to come to Nigeria and go into business, than you make Nigeria look very bad (uninviting)!  As you mentioned, Nigeria already has so many problems (poverty, electric shortages, frauds, etc), so why are you adding to that list by being uninviting and rude?

I wish you a prosperous and happy future, ckenneths, but please try to change that negative and bitter attitude!
Computers / Re: My Cafe's Internet Connection Is Slow by pmdaboh(f): 3:58am On May 20, 2007
It seems as though your boss is not really an Enterpreneur, for if he were, he would strive to make his customers happy and satisfied, so they will come back over and over again. I would not change anything, for it is "his" business (not yours). Evidentally, he knows what he is doing, and he likes it that way.

What I would do is talk to him about the many complaints you receive due to how slowly the internet is running. If he seems as though he does not care or will not change his behavior, than I would seek other employment. Surely, that cafe cannot stay open too much longer with dissatisfied customers.

Best wishes!
Webmasters / Re: Creating A Newspaper Website by pmdaboh(f): 3:51am On May 20, 2007
Niceuzor . .do not expect the easy route. Someone sent you some samples of websites, which cost something, and I think you were less than "thankful". Sure, there are free design websites out there, but they may not contain everything that you want on yours.

Take the suggestions that you think can benefit you, do your "own" research, and do not look for quick and easy answers. Starting any business, whether online or not, takes time, finances, and research.

You are the "dreamer" of your business, so do not expect anyone to push it more than yourself. And, Niceuzor, a little business etiquette will take you far.

Best wishes!
Romance / Re: My Fiancee Earns More Than Me And It's Making My Life Miserable by pmdaboh(f): 5:35am On May 18, 2007
This must be a "male" thing.  In America, many women earn much more money than their husbands, fiances, and boyfriends--especially women who have invested into their education and have great careers.  The thing that bothers me is that you are willing to actually not marry her due to such a small matter.

Tell me, I am really curious and not trying to be funny, why does the fact that your fiance earns more money than you take away from your masculinity?  I mean you are still a man.  You are a hard worker (I am sure).  Where is it written that a man must make more money than his wife, fiance, or girlfriend, for she CANNOT or SHOULD NOT make more money than him?  Does that mean women should always be in the "base" position to make a man feel more like a man? 

I am glad my ego does not need to be stroked that much to assure me of who I am.  Again, it must be a "male" thing.  It would almost be funny if you were not so serious.  Some American women have made more than their husbands, fiances, and boyfirends for years, and believe it or not, we are still surviving.

However, if you abosolutely MUST feel you are financially superior to your fiance (for some strange reason), go get a better paying job.  However, your career goals should not be based on another person's salary, but on what you want to achieve as an individual.  You are not in competition with anyone except yourself and the goals you set for yourself.  Are you reaching those goals?  If so, than why do you allow her salary to make you feel bad?

I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Business Management, and I am close to completing my  additional 18 credit hours (which puts an individual in a higher pay bracket).  In addition to that, I will start on my Master's Degree next month.  Now, I have a certain salary in mind, and I will not NOT work for anything less than that figure.  Why . .because I am worth it, and because I have invested money into my education and career, which I have to pay back. In addition, my degree and past work experiences says, "I am worth that amount."  I am not be pompous, but I know my worth.   I have a good paying job as a Business Education Teacher, but before I accepted that position, I already knew I would not work for less than such and such. . . . . , so set financial goals for yourself.  If you do not have a higher education (beyond regular school) try to goto college, so your earning potential will be more.  Your career and the money you earn depend on the position you place youself in and the opportunities that come your way. 

Try to position yourself for a higher paying job! 
Business / Re: Any Jamaicans In Nigeria? Will Nigeria Welcome Me There For Business? by pmdaboh(f): 3:14pm On May 17, 2007
Even if there were no other Jamacians in Nigeria, your expertise and culture should be welcome.  No country can grow if they are not willing to at least listen to and explore other peoples ideas, thoughts, and feelings.  I love Nigeria, and I am an African American woman.  I married a Nigerian man.  

The comment from one person to "stay in Jamacia" was very narrow-minded!  If everyone stayed in their own country, than how could we learn from another and assist one another.

Study the market in Nigeria for your field, and make a wise decision.

Best wishes!

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