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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. (6144 Views)
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Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by advanceDNA: 9:58pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Magnoliaa: Lol...u have no idea what it mean to be a devil's advocate... |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 9:59pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
She is 31 years old. Oluromantic: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 10:00pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: And you have no idea what drawing inferences mean. You are yet to answer me, though; is a false rape allegation as serious as rape? 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:02pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
If you read the post well you will notice I said that's the way she normally acts even when I make moves to romance her. So I don't really know when her stop actually means stop as it has always been the norm fortyishcouga: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 10:04pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: And in your words, she probably made him feel like everything was okay. She made him feel like he was still a boyfriend to her. Does that not mean that how she made him feel afterwards has overridden how bad he felt from being accused wrongly? Romantic feelings >> rape accusation, no? 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:09pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
It's like you are the only person that got my point Thank you. I'm relieved! seanwilliam: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by advanceDNA: 10:10pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Magnoliaa: Perhaps.!!!! ..its all speculation for me...no affirmative statement or conclusion.... remember im just a devil's advocate |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:12pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
I'm here to sincerely seek for help and if I'm asked vital questions I will be honest with my answers, as some of the highlights I get here will also help form my decision Persephone1: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 10:13pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Sunwa1: Okay, and so? If she didn't want it then, she couldn't want it later? At bolded, yes. Yes. Very possible for her to still "trust" you. 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:15pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
It was shocking! Just gboom! Out of the blues. When her friend called to tell me I raped her friend I was shocked to the bone, had to get back to my girl and she confirmed it was rape after 2 or 3 days o Magnoliaa: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 10:15pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: If you're not ready to make definitive statements and you're avoiding any questions, then why don't you want to ACKNOWLEDGE, in the least, other possible reasons and factors that we've been bringing up here?? Why? 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:16pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Thank you, I will.. God bless you. seanwilliam: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:18pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
You surprise me with your comment. Are you forcing me to admit what is not BRATISLAVA: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:20pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Na your father be rapist Autobot05: 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:22pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Sunwa1:You will frame it and hang it? I will like to know though, how old is your relationship with your woman? |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Autobot05: 10:28pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Sunwa1:Why mention my father .. ? .. if I start with you you nor go like am atall You went on to bed a woman while she was telling you stop .. but because of your list, lack of self control and the active spirit of fornication in you, you still carry 0n If she rope you now you'll say she's wicked and all those other crappy bullshit excuses. Be a man And learn to control yourself Say no to fornication |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by etrange: 10:29pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: I didn't doubt your reasons for entertaining the possibility of her being dishonest. I'm not taking away her fault in the whole situation. What I am saying is that the same logic is applicable to the guy. If you're saying the rapist probably thought things could go back to normal because the girl came back to him, you might be right. But then that would be you giving me reasons why a guilty person (a rapist) would continue with the relationship. What I asked if why an innocent person (who is not a rapist) would propose marriage to someone who wrongly accused him of rape? Did she apologize to him? We can talk about one million reasons why a rapist would propose to the victim if she forgave him, and why she shouldn't have gone back to him. But shouldn't we also ask ourselves why an innocent man would want to marry his accuser who hasn't apologized to him? Someone who still believes she was raped. 3 Likes |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by advanceDNA: 10:30pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Magnoliaa: Sigh!!!. Avoiding u..?? Lol...this is funny... Why dont i acknowledge?? Reason is one...i am a devil's advocate...always stirring up more discussion... ..two....there is an overwhelming evidence that the lady wants to keep being with and loving her rapist...making it difficult for me to acknowledge ur emotion and female-biased driven conclusion...... infact the op confirmed few line up that the lady wants to marry him.. |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by etrange: 10:37pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Sunwa1: Sunwa1: What was your reaction to being accused of rape? She said you raped her and even said that to her friends, and then the next day, she came back for the waist massage and you moved on without addressing the elephant in the room? You didn't feel hurt that someone you love could say such thing about you knowing it's not true? To you, she coming back for sexual pleasure means she's accepted she wasn't forced. But it's obvious that's not the case, otherwise she wouldn't be having the doubts she still has. Sir, what I am saying is, face that discussion head-on. With her and with yourself. Get it out of the way before moving on. That's all. Sunwa1: Yes, she might. But you're not at peace. Otherwise, you wouldn't have created this thread. Her lack of trust still worries you and that's why you both must sit and discuss the events of that night. Apologize to each other if possible and get rid of doubts. 6 Likes |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 10:38pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Sunwa1: Okay. Good. And this is me assuming, assuming o, that you genuinely really need help and you're contrite. You should get yourself familiarised with what consent means and what rape is and also how different victims behave even. So long as she is not consenting/she did not consent, it is rape. First of all, stop running away from that fact, because you continuing to deny that or to acknowledge what you did to that lady will not help her*. Even if she stays with you, get married to you and have kids with you, it will not change the fact that she is hurt or that the memory would stop haunting her. If you really care, really care about this woman, her feelings should never be something you invalidate or downplay. Stop trying to rationalise what you did. So, really, take responsibility for what you did, apologize and commit to changing. Infact, use it as a learning experience for both of you, if you manage this right. Help her understand that to want sex isn't something to be ashamed of, and she should always clearly communicate when she does. Learn. Learn together what these things mean and be on the same page. You're the one who ought to know her better, so do try to understand her and her person. Apologize. This too depends on her and you talking to her. How does she feel? What does she want? What would make things right? And act right by her henceforth. Do right. This is really just a blueprint, but you'll have gigure out things on your own too, do some introspection and all, and it'll definitely take time for you imbibe all of these, but the most important is for you to commit to changing your actions immediately and you guys can have your issues resolved and be a stronger couple for it. 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by advanceDNA: 10:38pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
etrange: Why would a man marry a woman because he's guilty of rape.?? Marry?? As in marry ooo?? ...if his intention was to rape her... he has done it....why would he hang around for marriage??.. From the info he gave...he said he ddnt rape her...he said since forever when they smoosh each other, thats how she has always been saying subtle no, yet moaning when he sucks he boóbs and touching him back..... Mayb he never felt guilty but felt a little afraid when accused .. |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Kobojunkie: 10:39pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Sunwa1:1. You are both together in the relationship, intimate and all, even after the "rape" fiasco? You should probably not force marriage but give her more time to process for herself what really took place to cause her to develop the mindset she has towards you since then. 2. But you said she has yet to respond so what plans are you trying to go ahead with? You should give her time. So long as you are not in a rush to get married and your mind is set on her and her only. Give her time to process her reality and the goings on in her mind. Let her naturally come to you when she is ready. If she says she would like to continue the relationship as-is, or would rather you both break up, accept that and move on. She may change her mind later on but it does you no good to try to force things to happen your way. 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 10:42pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: Please, stop this, abeg. Yeah, right. A devil's advocate that doesn't want to accept others perspectives. Shout about me being female and being emotionally-driven from now 'till tomorrow, it still would not change the fact that you're stiff-necked in your opinions and are running away from any prodding. I didn't say you're avoiding me. Be like your DNA codes dey misfire. I have been asking you if you think a false rape allegation and rape are of equal significance but you've craftily been avoiding that. I can see you. 3 Likes |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Nobody: 10:46pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
I'm sorry Autobot05: |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by BRATISLAVA: 10:48pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Sunwa1: You don't want to be forced here, yet you forced her to have sex with you, isn't that so? And you are right at all times, narcissist. Not so? You can only gaslight her to believe your intentions were good and pure, not the people who have read your account here. Your thinking is quite twisted. Take the matter to court if you know you are innocent and it is true that what you think is the truth. You won't. You'll justify it till tomorrow. Because you think you're a good guy and that your brand of "love" is the best in the world. Typical rapist thinking pattern. But you forget that because you think you're good doesn't make you good. A lot of you need lessons on consent— you deliberately ignore the will of another person since you think yours is the best and only way, your world is all about your satisfaction and no one else's—or incarceration where it can be enforced. You need a conscience. However... Even the intercontinental professional in your industry remorselessly denied what he had done on this forum. Even after being caught with his DNA everywhere, he and his apologists refused to believe he was guilty. He was. He's enjoying his sentence. You should ask him for tips seeing as you're playing the same game. Next! 1 Like |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by gfon(m): 10:51pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
ggoldmine:no be only committed,nah church gals indulge in fornication pass. The gal is a pure manipulator that has mood swings, I know and have been with her types |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by etrange: 10:52pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: Read this: i made moves to have sex with her but she resisted but her resistance wasn't that convincing, though she released herself to me but kept asking me to stop, but at that point I was deeply carried away and even thought it was her normal way of struggling with me anytime I made moves on her. Some how, I had my way, i had sex with her without any physical resistance from her aside the shouts of "please stop". I was deeply carried away, somehow I had my way, etc. These are expressions used by someone on the verge of acknowledging his mistake. Intentions are different from actions. He said "I was deeply carried away". So he didn't wake up and decided to rape his lover, but it could have happened nevertheless because he was very aroused and wasn't paying attention. And that wouldn't stop him from loving her. What would likely stop him from loving her is she deliberately accusing him of rape. But somehow, that didn't happen. 4 Likes |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by advanceDNA: 10:59pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Magnoliaa: Come on babes....i just told u why i ddnt swallow ur perspective..thats doesnt mean i am indulging them and considering them.. See ...u are usng general perception, general implication of rape, and its effect on a female victim to dialogue here.... but here, we have a rape victim that makes her rapist come back for more and is even dating him after the rape All she has as a proof of her traumatizing and horrifying ordeal is a subtle doubt that he might rape his daughter....as in ....as in.... |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 11:05pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: And as a devil's advocate, you do not see that marrying her may be a way to rationalise his action? Lmao, when people offend you, do they not literally try to overcompesate by changing their behaviour towards you? Infact, there are cultures where rapists marry the women they've raped. And NOTE: me bringing this up is just showing you how marry someone after a rape has been committed is a thing. ...if his intention was to rape her... he has done it....why would he hang around for marriage??.. Because God forbid multiple things being true at the same time. From the info he gave...he said he ddnt rape her...he said since forever when they smoosh each other, thats how she has always been saying subtle no, yet moaning when he sucks he boóbs and touching him back..... Answer me this question too; when a parent beats a child, and the child has no where to go to, does that very fact means that that child has not been beaten? 3 Likes |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by advanceDNA: 11:18pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Magnoliaa: U are comparing a very unrelated scenario to this story to justify this lady and make it look like its a norm form staying with her rapist.... Later u will say i am avoiding ur question... discipline and rape..... ko proper nowwww.... ko proper nowwww..haba!! |
Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by Magnoliaa(f): 11:21pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
advanceDNA: Keep quiet. Fuckeen enlighten yourself on why rape victims stay with their abusers, when they do, and stop putting your ignorance on display for the whole world. https://globalnews.ca/news/6530268/sexual-assault-survivors-talk-perpetrator/ https://misa.org.za/eight-reasons-why-victims-stay-in-abusive-relationships/ https://timesupfoundation.org/newsroom/weinstein-trial-why-victims-stay-in-touch-with-perpetrators-and-other-facts/ Now, as I see the trails of your own logic are even littered about and getting hard for you to pick up, but don't worry. I'll tie it up nicely for you, again: Your whole argument has been on the fact of the woman remaining and giving the guy green light, and making references to their usual romantic games. You're dismissing whatever happened between them as rape, because, if she was raped, why is she still with him? Right? So that means whatever she's saying now and whatever she's telling her friend is a false rape allegation. She's staying with him which means she was not raped. So, I am asking you here: what do you think of false rape allegations, and what do you think rape means? Do you think they are the same things or of equal significance? Why are you running away from the question? E dey bite you? You're playing a devil's advocate, and you think that gives a pass at being probed? 3 Likes
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Re: She Said She Can't Trust Me With Our Daughter If We Marry. by advanceDNA: 11:30pm On Apr 05, 2023 |
Magnoliaa: Lol....e don dey escalate ooooo... no burst a blood vessel untop my matter ooo....its all fun here |
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