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Everybody should marry their class... the rich should marry the rich, the broke should marry the broke... life is simpler that way... to avoid stories that touch

edunwanna:
Mould the wife by yourself naa

Gay

madridsta007:
It is important you pay attention to these things.

You take on the responsibility of the wife's family as a married man in Africa. It is that simple. We may pretend about it, delude ourselves, but reality will hit you when you start to take responsibility.

Personally, when a lady says she is the first daughter, and she has a multitude of younger ones, I take my leave. Quietly, believing God will bring a Chief her way. I am not that Chief.

Yes o, finance management is an important part to consider before marriage. Some would act as though it doesn't matter or I'm a fool, when statistics shows that more than 50% of marriages that end in divorce has financial stress as it root cause.

Colourich:
I have the urge to call you a gold digger but I will resist.

He’s not a gold digger he’s probably just trying to avoid more problems/responsibilities than he can bear bt the truth is he needs to tone it down. Ur aim shud be to marry a good wife whether she is poor or rich is irrelevant asfar as I’m concerned.

Family background shud not be the major yardstick. A good wife will only take u far and higher irrespective of her family background aslong as u both know what Ure doing. A bad one even if rich can sink u. She also won’t let her family turn u too their cash cow bt there is nothing wrong in helping ur wife’s family if u can. It’s a good and noble thing. Just make sure they are not the greedy and over demanding types else run.

U can’t be helping ur frnds for life either. They shud eventually become self reliant or they are not good frnds themselves.

GodisGood4321

Debhans:
Bro what you said makes 100 % sense and you have no reason to doubt or not follow what you believe and want.
I'm in support of you. The thing is these days love isn't just enough, it's someone that can add substance to you as you will most definitely add substance to the person that makes life and relationships easy. Everyone has what they want and need. You want a wife, but then you also need a wife that you can grow with or can help you add more value to your self because if she's more well to do that you are, I'm sure your type of person will want work hard and probably take your hustle to the next level like you said 7 digits to probably 8/9digits.
The thing now is you have to check the circle or people around you and the places you go. The you'd meet the right people at the right places if you're in the right circle. I think that's just it.
Don't lose hope in finding wife you need cos last last it's better to wait and marry the right person than rush and marry someone who you know won't match your goals and ambitions on the long run.
Lastly Pray to God show you they way, cos all that glitters might not be gold.

Thanks bro.

koyyes:
So the op wants to support his family but doesn't want to marry someone doing the same? Even the one you managed to find, you don't see them as 'submissive'. how?

You seem to be a very difficult person because you ought to know that you can't have it all.
A lot of women are married to your type and are expressing how negligent men like you are when it comes to your own financial commitments at home and with the kids. But they still manage. Yet, here you are wanting it all.

You have 2 options if you are hell bent on your plan.

1. Marry someone older than you who is very much independent and only needs your sperm.

2. Wait till you are 50 and have finished training and supporting your family before thinking of marriage.

A lot of males hailing you here will end up marrying the very same women you are running away from.

Be there hoping.

I read all through now! Mr Op, this quoted seem the only best choices you’ve got, however guys have spoken well...!

In addition, those people you call family and friends that you suffer for now wud later come mocking when you old n grey! And what you don’t know is that there are friends you assisting now with poor and needy wives an they are surviving and happy...
If the story up there is true, then you have to have a rethink and love yourself than anyone else* build a home with someone you love now, forget the class esp when you have almost all you ever pictured your woman to be or look like!!!

God bless

Saffi:
Story for the Gods. It’s only to make mouth on social media. When you log off, the reality must set in. I’ve realised that majority of men hate any financial competition from women, especially African men. They like to dominate financially, if they see a woman who could possible outdo them monetary wise, they run away. Even the extremely rich men, get with women who they can financially dominate. It’s all tied to your ego, masculinity and pride. Stop trying to eradicate the natural behaviour of men, it can’t work. Men look for beauty, youth, nurturing capabilities and character when searching for a spouse, it comes naturally. Men and women are not the same, stop trying to modify nature.

In fact you are very correct, this one weak me walayi, which one my guys

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/019/580/anotheronelol.JPG

All you men looking for rich ladies from well to do homes better get these facts into your head, whether you like it or not.

1.) As long as she is rich and also contributing to the financial well being of the family, you better be ready to join her in doing house work and cleaning and taking care of children because knowing how selfish and entitled Nigerian men are I am already 100% sure you all think you can just marry a lady that will be a fellow breadwinner and also house maid that you can bully and order around in the name of submission.
Once your wife joins you in paying bills, school fees, house food etc you have no other fvcking choice but to join her in anything regarding housework, even cooking. Yes.

jaxxy:
He’s not a gold digger he’s probably just trying to avoid more problems/responsibilities than he can bear bt the truth is he needs to tone it down. Ur aim shud be to marry a good wife whether she is poor or rich is irrelevant asfar as I’m concerned.

Family background shud not be the major yardstick. A good wife will only take u far and higher irrespective of her family background aslong as u both know what Ure doing. A bad one even if rich can sink u. She also won’t let her family turn u too their cash cow bt there is nothing wrong in helping ur wife’s family if u can. It’s a good and noble thing. Just make sure they are not the greedy and over demanding types else run.

U can’t be helping ur frnds for life either. They shud eventually become self reliant or they are not good frnds themselves.

GodisGood4321

The thought of considering a lady that earns well irrespective of her family financial background is well received, rather than just focusing on a well-to-do family.

This has been collaborated by many other guys that comments too. It has its own benefits and worth considering. I believe other guys are learning from this. And I believe ladies too are learning that they have to bring something to table nowadays and gone are the days being just a beautiful and curvy woman bestow on you a rich and handsome guy.

GodisGood4321:
For a start, I’m not a gold digger nor am mine looking for someone to take care of my bills.

A little bit about myself. I’m 32 and I’m from a humble background and by the grace of God, my hustle don begins to pay. I'm a graduate and works in a popular oil and gas firm with a monthly take-home of seven-digit. But base on the fact that I'm from a humble background and God don give me breakthrough, I'm supporting my families (siblings) and sometimes friends who are still hustling to establish themselves.

So I am a bit careful to date a lady who is the supporting member of her family as well, otherwise, support responsibilities may fall back on me as the man if one marries such lady. And no matter how much one think he earns, too many dependents can weary one progress and a tree can't make a forest. This engineer my desire to marry a girl from a well-to-do family, even if she doesn't earn much, but her family shouldn't be a liability. I have a reservation of being the ‘look-up-to’ person in my family and as well the ‘look-up-to’ person in a wife family as well. While one may be grateful to God for being able to be looked up to, the pressure of demand/expectation may be overwhelming and could slow one’s progress and one runs the risk of not having who to run to when his own need arises because everyone around has always looked up to you.

But the challenge is to see and get a girl from a well-to-do family is hard. Is either I can't find any or the few I meet always an attitude issue and are hardly submissive. Meanwhile, I have seen decent ladies from a humble background who are equally making some progress in their own right, but i lost interest when I get to know of their family background because of my biased to marry from a well-to-do family. Besides the benefit of not having many dependents by marrying from a well-to-do family, I covert the benefit of been related to in-laws who may have some sort of relevance and influence.

I have this feeling I am settling for less than I originally desired when I see decent ladies but they are from a humble background that I do not advance things with them.

Please, I want to know if this my obsession of marrying from a well-to-do family is reasonable or I am taking it overboard. I just want to hear people opinions about my line of thought and be sure I am still in touch with reality and not just be idealism.

Well, to start with, i don't know what you mean by well to do..let me summarize what you i think you want..you wanna marry a lady from a rich family with no liability . There is no problem with that too cos I understand where you are.coming from. The truth is everyone wants easy life as well. Though I will advise you to be more flexible and open-minded, all you gat to do is meet an hardworking lady with good realistic dreams and prospects,...look for a lady that can turn N10 to N20 and money will be the least of your concerns. .......my opinion
I have some 'well to do" friends in that category
The humility part is what you will find out by yourself
All the best dude

What a drag.....

GodisGood4321:
Yes o, finance management is an important part to consider before marriage. Some would act as though it doesn't matter or I'm a fool, when statistics shows that more than 50% of marriages that end in divorce has financial stress as it root cause.

Very, very, very important. Females are likely to make their decisions based on emotions. They will offer and agree to get married to a "struggling man"; not all maintain that happiness when that "struggle" is extended for a while after marriage.

As a man, that should be the last enabler of decision-making, emotions. Use logic. Look at your finances. If it can accommodate someone, regardless of if she is working or not, then be open to marriage. If it can't, then wait till it can. Waiting will not kill one. On the other hand, a bad marriage will.

madampresident:
sorry to say this... I already feel sorry for you. Marry a girl because she is decent not because she or her family is well to do. It is easier to build wealth with a decent lady than to retain wealth with one who the only thing she has to offer is coming from a well to do home.

this is so true!

franchasng:
Story story! As if that's how you ladies marry too

Nigerian ladies are very cunning and wicked to Nigerian guys.

When a Nigerian lady from a rich home wants to date or marry, she considers the financial capability of the guy first before considering his handsomeness.

A broke guy dare not say hello to her because to her it's a taboo.

What about a Nigerian Lady that is working and earning good salary like 250k and above, she will never date or marry a guy earning below 300k monthly, that will be a big taboo for her. She considers men only based on how much money they have and not how handsome they look.

Go to US, UK. Canada, etc, Nigerian guys living there will abandon all the sweet looking chicks there and go back to Nigeria to find a broke, poor girl to marry and spend on her to become slay queen and then take her to abroad to become a modern chick, but Nigerian ladies living abroad will rather remain single till death than come back to Nigeria to look for a guy to marry and when they eventually try to come to Nigeria to find husband, they only target rich guys and guys from rich family to date and possibly marry.

They dare not date or accept to date or marry a Nigerian guy living in Nigeria and struggling to stand financially, it is a taboo.

Also a Nigerian guy earning over 500k monthly will just meet one fine broke girl from poor family and start to date her and shower her with love and gifts, and even assist her family and the next thing, he marries her and turn her life around for good without considering that she was a poor girl, but our ladies will never do same if they are the ones that have the money, so Nigerian guys must wake up.

What is good for Paul is good for Peter.

Guys marry your class only!

Stop stooping too low to marry broke girls when you have made it financially. Apply Nigerian ladies wisdom of going after rich and successful ladies of your class too, guys wake up

Me I have made it a priority now never to date or marry below my class.

I cannot date any broke girl, never!

I cannot marry any lady that earns less than 250,000naira monthly.

Marry like Royal families; they marry to keep their royal dynasty stronger and richer not just for love based on physical beauty.

Before u marry her, please check her real financial value and worth. Will she help u grow financially or help u diminish The world is becoming more and more capitalist by the day, so to survive and to build a good future for your kids, think like a capitalist; consider financial worth of your would be wife or fiancé first before u say I do

Guys go for your class, we need to learn from our ladies to avoid regrets

Guy you wicked o!

Is like you don't want these hanties to marry at all?

Chai, why you go dey talk like dis na?

Diarisgod o!

this OP has my mindset...i'm at this crossroad... I cant visualize myself carrying the responsibility of my own family and the responsibilities of my wife's family as well...
These days one has to be careful to avoid several issues in the long run. Love fades beauty fades... financial stability is key in this our present generation...No matter how said it sounds, its our present reality.
most times when men lash out, it might be due to several responsibilities he can barely handle and you start questioning his love for his wife
Even the bible states the woman should be a helper

franchasng:
My dear, Nigerian guys are waking up gradually. Didn't you read the Op's post

I have friends who are high earners but have also swore never to marry below their class, and because they are still searching discretely to find their class of lady, they have refused to marry.

Some work with IOCs, some own their own successful businesses while some are young startup company owners

Guys are waking up gradually, only the deluded & perpetually foolish guys still marry below their class nowadays.

If you are honest, u hardly see situations of one rich or legally successful guy getting married to one fine broke chick like we do witness in the past, the trend is reducing.

Only money miss roads and illegal money jam boys like yahoo boys, drug guys and thieves still marry ladies based on their physical beauty alone.

Educated and successful Nigerian guys are now marrying according to their class.

The girl must be earning high by working in a top company or she owns a successful business, or from a well to do family for her to get an educated successful young man nowadays.

Or haven't u observed the trend of Naija guys marrying white ladies and foreign based ladies that are legal citizens of European, American, etc countries

Guys are learning fast from the ladies but of course there must be the fools in every gathering so there must be foolish guys too who will marry based on she is very fine

what happened to peace of mind,happiness n love?it shouldn't always be about money.

Edojoma:
Just get to know where she works,,, n u will just know d range of her salary,,,,

Hmmm not always. I have never heard the name of some companies but they are doing very well. My friend is travelling to Holland today and her company is paying. But her company is a one man company that is not even popular.

GodisGood4321:
The thought of considering a lady that earns well irrespective of her family financial background is well received, rather than just focusing on a well-to-do family.

This has been collaborated by many other guys that comments too. It has its own benefits and worth considering. I believe other guys are learning from this. And I believe ladies too are learning that they have to bring something to table nowadays and gone are the days being just a beautiful and curvy woman bestow on you a rich and handsome guy.

Yes a well paid lady is cool bt money is not the only valuable thing a lady shud/can bring to the table if u ask me. So she brings money bt takes away ur peace of mind will u be happy?

Aslong as she bringing smtn valuable to the table I’m down such a lady and money isn’t the only valuable thing here. An average paid lady that gives me peace or wisdom or motivation is bringing smtn to the table if u ask me.

If she brings monetary support great and if she’s not what else of value is she bringing is my point. Sofar Ure financial capable look for other values bt don’t get me wrong a rich lady may equally come with such good values.

My neighbors una Good Money.oooo

Is op d last peson dt av money?
Those siblings of hers will bcm rich too.

I'm weary of the super rich, u bcm dia puppet except u can measure up.

Daeylar:
This thread is so calm, so peaceful. Let op type the same thing but just put F on his moniker and switch genders in the story.
They will use golddigger and wicked woman to run op out from this forum and use that as a stepping stone to start their usual insult of Nigerian women.

So you guys do the same thing Nigerian women do (looking for a partner that is financially stable), but when women do it, it is called good digging, when men do, it's called being realistic.

Nigerian men.

Don't mind the bloody hypocrites

Don't marry a liability, no matter how much you earn. Forget love!

franchasng:
Story story! As if that's how you ladies marry too

Nigerian ladies are very cunning and wicked to Nigerian guys.

When a Nigerian lady from a rich home wants to date or marry, she considers the financial capability of the guy first before considering his handsomeness.

A broke guy dare not say hello to her because to her it's a taboo.

What about a Nigerian Lady that is working and earning good salary like 250k and above, she will never date or marry a guy earning below 300k monthly, that will be a big taboo for her. She considers men only based on how much money they have and not how handsome they look.

Go to US, UK. Canada, etc, Nigerian guys living there will abandon all the sweet looking chicks there and go back to Nigeria to find a broke, poor girl to marry and spend on her to become slay queen and then take her to abroad to become a modern chick, but Nigerian ladies living abroad will rather remain single till death than come back to Nigeria to look for a guy to marry and when they eventually try to come to Nigeria to find husband, they only target rich guys and guys from rich family to date and possibly marry.

They dare not date or accept to date or marry a Nigerian guy living in Nigeria and struggling to stand financially, it is a taboo.

Also a Nigerian guy earning over 500k monthly will just meet one fine broke girl from poor family and start to date her and shower her with love and gifts, and even assist her family and the next thing, he marries her and turn her life around for good without considering that she was a poor girl, but our ladies will never do same if they are the ones that have the money, so Nigerian guys must wake up.

What is good for Paul is good for Peter.

Guys marry your class only!

Stop stooping too low to marry broke girls when you have made it financially. Apply Nigerian ladies wisdom of going after rich and successful ladies of your class too, guys wake up

Me I have made it a priority now never to date or marry below my class.

I cannot date any broke girl, never!

I cannot marry any lady that earns less than 250,000naira monthly.

Marry like Royal families; they marry to keep their royal dynasty stronger and richer not just for love based on physical beauty.

Before u marry her, please check her real financial value and worth. Will she help u grow financially or help u diminish The world is becoming more and more capitalist by the day, so to survive and to build a good future for your kids, think like a capitalist; consider financial worth of your would be wife or fiancé first before u say I do

Guys go for your class, we need to learn from our ladies to avoid regrets

Are you open to equality in marriage or you want a 80% submissive wife?
and @Godisgood you have to be willing to compromise chances of getting all in one is slim.....
A well to do lady might come with attitude problem and vis a vis.
Just pick your poison. Plus your first post was in June, this December how far? Has your views or wants been updated?

Thanks guys, I really find some of your comments helpful and useful.

jaxxy:
Yes a well paid lady is cool bt money is not the only valuable thing a lady shud/can bring to the table if u ask me. So she brings money bt takes away ur peace of mind will u be happy?

Aslong as she bringing smtn valuable to the table I’m down such a lady and money isn’t the only valuable thing here. An average paid lady that gives me peace or wisdom or motivation is bringing smtn to the table if u ask me.

If she brings monetary support great and if she’s not what else of value is she bringing is my point. Sofar Ure financial capable look for other values bt don’t get me wrong a financial stable lady may equally come with such good values.

Look at the bolded. People wey dey get that type get two head. God gives us what we desires and we are attracted to what you desire most.

Dear OP, I really appreciate your sincerity towards this issue.

I'll start by saying that your fears are completely understandable and valid.

I believe everyone has the right to set standards for their choices especially when it comes to choosing a spouse.
A financially independent spouse, as you say is desirable. But I feel you're missing something.

Being financially independent doesn't always have to do with one's family background or income, but rather on ones managerial skills and mindset.

A spouse having a high flow of income or solid financial support but lacking good managerial skills and spending habits will only become a liability in the long run. A rich lady can be a liability as well as a poor lady.

That said, a good wife should also know when her family's/personal demands are hampering your growth.

Your desire is good but I feel you need to rethink your strategy.

Don't throw away the beans with the chaff.

This is my take, I may be right or wrong.

Have a nice day!

GodisGood4321:
Look at the bolded. People wey dey get that type get two head. God gives us what we desires and we are attracted to what you desire most.

... I understand u and I pray God will grant ur wishes.

GodisGood4321:
Look at the bolded. People wey dey get that type get two head. God gives us what we desires and we are attracted to what you desire most.

Lol yes I stated it and it’s very possible bt don’t let it be ur main focus or sole obsession or u will make a mistake or even loose a diamond in the rock.

Instead search for ladies with intelligence, great personality, values and virtues such ladies are never liabilities.

Can’t a lady/guy with a well paid job loose his/her job? So what next?