The irony of this set up is that, the same women who have a problem with their husbands seemingly placing their extended family before them, are the same ones that think it justifiable placing their children before the husband.

You have no business getting married if you can't be accommodating to your in-laws. Humans have an inherently selfish trait and it's just sad. Imagine someone creating a thread about her brother in-law taking a serving of prepared food. Exactly how petty can one be!

Everything in moderation.......


Visiting is never a problem...... Staying is where their clap, don dey enter dance..........

sacx:
The irony of this set up is that, the same women who have a problem with their husbands seemingly placing their extended family before them, are the same ones that think it justifiable placing their children before the husband.

You have no business getting married if you can't be accommodating to your in-laws. Humans have an inherently selfish trait and it's just sad. Imagine someone creating a thread of her brother in-law taking a serving off prepared food. Exactly how petty can one be!

Lol I saw her thread and was laughing cause she's just giving herself headache over nothing and her husband was saying anything cause no doubt that how they have been before she got married to him so the dude understand it a normal thing for them so he doesn't see it as a big deal...I think she commented on this thread too hopefully she doesn't spoil her marriage with her own hands.

CosmicJames:


Sorry, but something is wrong with your thought patterns.
And because your persistent thoughts will always find a way to manifest itself, women will always manipulate you!

Then you will complain about women not knowing that you created the condition you experience or experiencing.

This is what so many people fail to know. So they end up creating problems for themselves.

The same way you accept and concluded that women are created manipulators, is the same way many people said women are evil. But they want an evil thing to be good to them.

I know how women behaves. So I don't need to study any thing about them.

Women are like children in their parents hand.

Children grow up and becomes obedient to their parents, or rebellious against their parents depending on HOW they are brought up.

Sorry .. THAT GUY IS VERY MUCH ON POINT..IT'S NOT HIS PERSPECTIVE, BUT THE TRUTH

this issue u guys are arguing about is only common with ppl from very poor families.in a family that is well to do who will have time to be going to the house of his brother who just got married and staying there for weeks and months .the guy no get job? if u marry from a very poor family u will experience this scenario.crowd go full ur house with the excuse of relatives wanting to visit and stay .but for a well to do family they will stay briefly and go.

pcguru1:


Exactly and as a man I have pride, how can a grown man be living in another grown man's house just because we are related. I will stay in my cubicle if that's what it requires.

na jobless nau

safarigirl:


Some of these guys will not give their sisters money when in need, but they will rush and borrow money from their sisters to call babe, or to send babe airtime. Na real audio care

It's a circle, do you care about a Guy's sister or siblings when you start billing him every now & then? Answer is NO.

but they will rush and borrow money from their sisters --- Before nko, If I don't borrow money from my Sister to call babe, then who should I borrow money from na? My Sister is the closest to comfort

YungJo207:



Lol I saw her thread and was laughing cause she's just giving herself headache over nothing and her husband was saying anything cause no doubt that how they have been before she got married to him so the dude understand it a normal thing for them so he doesn't see it as a big deal...I think she commented on this thread too hopefully she doesn't spoil her marriage with her own hands.

She wasn't comfortable with it before marriage but she kept mum until she got the ring. Isn't that treacherous?

Some ladies are naturally preprogrammed to be at loggerheads with their in-laws even before they start a relationship.

JONNYSPUTE:
. Theirs always a simp out there for people like you so I'm not surprised.

shut up ,and I say shut up again. How you dolts in your clique always want to label people who don't follow your red pill nonsense irks me.I would rather live in peace with a simp than with an asshole like you ,just saying and by the way happy new year ,let's start from where we stopped last year ,by the way where are your brothers Martinez and the baby daddy hero of the red pill community

sacx:


She wasn't comfortable with it before marriage but she kept mum until she got the ring. Isn't that treacherous?

Some ladies are naturally preprogrammed to be at loggerheads with their in-laws even before they start a relationship.

Loooll was sanwo olu not nice and a smooth talker before entering office? Lol

.

I nor sabi quote that scripture well sha but let me paraphrase "And a man shall leave his family n become one with his wife ".Although I concur with the op about the relations staying with him n his wife but if the relatives staying there is going to be an obstruction to the well being of the marriage then they have to go.Remember before u married the woman in question u were convinced that she is ur all n all to u when I mean all she's ur all even to the extent kids can't come between u.When Some men are complaining kids are coming between them and their wives u are saying ur wife shouldn't come between u n your relatives as there have been there for u in the beginning. So Y then did u get married if they have been there at the beginning. As if the said relatives don't have spouses they should be putting their attention on n u want to allow devil to scatter your home because of relatives.

I pray we have a good family members who are loving ,kind ,compassionate and not envious and jealous, some family members can destroy ones happiness in the home but again a good and understanding wife will manage them . Husband should not be harsh to his wife's family members and vice versa

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

shut up

Jokerman:
This is a foolish write up.... I pity you... Try these and see how your end will be

Relatives can visit but not come to live with you.. Rent a room for them...

A word is enough

where did the op mention living with u?

Men will be acting like they are the only ones that have families.

Amalekki:

Yes, as a real man he will definitely tolerate them and real lasting understanding will come.

if hear say tolerate for where.No b only tolerate na teloreta.Nonsense n ingredients. Men that are not good at tolerance at all.

pocohantas:
I agree with you OP.

You don't want to know how much I love my dad and only brother. These are the two men that have supported me every step of the way. I can't imagine one FOOLISH husband saying they shouldn't visit or stay in our house or even thinking he comes before them.

It is my father first, mother and siblings, my kid, before my husband.

You can always get another husband, but never another family.

A father is the only man that will spend on you without asking for submission or anything.

My dad reigns supreme in my heart. I can take a bullet in the head for that man, but NEVER will I attempt it for a husband. You see how much I love him?

For that reason, he can come live with us. All my siblings can come, alongside my husband's own.

One big happy family.

This is the most satirical comment I have read in this post so far
Lol

Sterope:
Men will be acting like they are the only ones that have families.

Like me self I wonder but if it was to be the woman's case now na that time they go dey urge her to drive them away exactly the same thing dey accuse women of that's their area of specialization. Don't u wonder why some women don't relate well with some of their relatives. Its because of these same selfish men.

worworbabe:
Mumu People full this thread especially page 0.

Your relatives can't have their own homes abi. They must come and live with your wife and impose stupidd expectations on her.

You forget that the family you create with her will bear forth Children, your own Children.This is how some of you die young, creating unnecessary problems for your families in the guise of being 'men'.

No one is saying that you should stop relating with your parents and siblings. After all your wife has them too but there must be boundaries.

Your Mother as well as all of your siblings have their marriages to face and see as priority. You have to prioritise your own marriage and family otherwise you would be making grave mistakes.

If you say your siblings suffered with you, didn't her own siblings suffer too. This is the lamest line of reasoning I ever heard. Was she eating sand before you met her?

Many of you are better unmarried and I pity the unfortunate women that end up with you

they had better stay unmarried

Ezeanna:
Hey guys,

If you know you are not dropping at least ₦50k per month as cooking expenses for your household( of not more than 4 people), don't come here and start talking rubb.ish about your relatives living with you and your wife.

Many wives have turned to book keepers; calculating, balancing, adjusting and rechecking household budgets just so there can be food on the table, month after month.

When you want your relatives to visit or stay with you long term, make sure you have the financial capacity for such visit; don't just say my brother/sister will be coming to visit for 2 months; ask madam what the extra cost for those visitors for that time period will be, and provide it.

We all are sentimental about the people that helped raise us to who we are currently, but it does not mean we should not try to build our own families, away from them.

If you, as a married person, sincerely feel that your extended family has got your back more than your spouse, then I truly feel sorry for your situation.

I love this comment

MissGodOwn:
U don't force people to see things ur own way and u definitely don't have to insult them to agree either. There are definitely more matured ways to go about it.

Mrs but I never insulted her, so instead of you to tell your fellow female to take my correction and fellow the fact you are attacking me,why is it that nowadays everybody thinks they have an opinion?when you know that deep inside your mind what your are saying in wrong I am a science I always fellow the fact not people's opinions because I got deep observation into things,I reason dey way you will never reason all through your life time even when you are in your 80s,my Brian process 100% faster than yours..hmmm funny enough how some people don't know and they don't want to know.

engrchykae:
most women are not worthy to be termed humans.
If you see any sign of this wickedness,run for your life.
At the beginning,they will always ask a about your mum,as if they care,you won't know they are worried about her influence in your life.
If you allow them get away with treating everyone like trash because you think you are the darling husband.
You will be dealt with at last when there is no one else.
She can leave when things get worse.
Or worse still,kill you to inherit all your labor.
I supported my brother that helped me during my school days with small cash when he was having small challenge and my wife be like, don't give him our money because she thinks am a pussy lover,I was laughing,where is love when I have no job?
Women are funny.
She do gragra and finally she left now she is begging to come back but I have been seeing other women,now I know the difference,I won't give her the chance to come back.
Most of them are evil personified,you forgive them,they ruin you in revenge

Just imagine very selfish set of people..well I don't let the way woman treat my decieved me,I always want to see the way she treat other people. Omo men must use head oo.

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

Gbam.

AmTruth:
For me I think women always get it wrong in saying no one should visit them when they are married, especially husband's relative.

As a married man I don't think after the support some of our relations gave to us before marriage should lead us not accepting them to our home because we're married. This sends a wrong signal about a wife and people should take note of this.

My wife has been very comfortable allowing my younger ones staying with us because during our courtship she knows I don't joke with my relations especially my parents and younger ones and I defined it to my relations also that no one jokes with my wife.

So in the house, everyone knows his boundaries And we are all Happy and my wife confesses that too. But that doesn't mean that sometimes misunderstanding doesn't come No!

Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives. So meeting you as a wife in a later path of my life should make me deny their access to my home would not be easily possible.

Summit to your husband's decision on the home staying matter, if you want to have a happy married life.

You are a good man for creating a balance in your home (making your wife understand that your family is indispensable and vice versa). I don't think any woman would consciously prefer her husband's people not to visit or even stay with them. However, I have noticed that most marital problems sprout from third parties trying to dictate, shortchange, over monitore or playing third party between a man and his wife. Earlier on, I read from an op here, complaining about her brother in-law dipping his hands into her pot of soup... If she doesn't apply wisdom to tackle this issue, she may end up gaining an enemy and believe you me, it takes just having one enemy from your in-law's side for your entire in-laws to hate you.

In summary, women don't despise their in-laws from staying with them, but they are scared anout the baggages that comes with that arrangement. BUT if you can create boundaries, be fair and firm(attributes that I have noticed in your writeup, thus my commendation), then there won't be any problem ( well except the wife is truly selfish and has a lowkey "in-laws OCD".

This is a very sensitive topic.

Anyways i think marriage is more peaceful and beautiful when the wife is so close to the sisters of the husband.

When you initiate a cult like relationship with the mom or sisters of your husband, the man won't leave you.

Marriages are easily broken when the wife distance herself from the women in the lives of the man, women that he grew up with, women that have sacrificed a lot for him, his sisters and mother.

Note: I'm only focusing on the females because that is the key, male brothers in the family are not a problem at all, most of them don't even like being around their brother's house, you see the male folks want freedom.

But the bond between a brother and a sister is strong, the sisters want to always know what's is going on with her brother, so a reasonable wife should use that as an advantage.
But that being said, as a man of the house, you should coordinate your house in order so as to make your sisters and mother respect your wife and know that she is in charge of your home.

So you must make them see her as the marital staff of authority.

That way, they love and fear her at the same time, that kind of fear that will make them know that any thing she says, you will do.

But as a wife when given this power, its your duty to make the mom and sisters of your husband love and honour you.

For example, you can see how The wife of Obama is loved and at the same time respected.

Apply that into your marriage.

.

madridguy:
Women should understand that these our relations have played very important role in the major parts of our lives.

Of course, we understand that, but we also feel threatened and perhaps useless when you take their sides even when they are wrong. A wise man once said a couple should operate as a single unit. Whether right or wrong, they should stand by each other and support each other...corrections and calling each other's F-ups should be done in private. Its hardly the case today. When you scold your wife in front of your people ( even if she is at fault) you are indirectly striking the chord of disparity and strife in your family. While some women may overlook it especially if they are at fault, most would not.

If a man needed to say nonsense like this, it is either he can't deal with his family or the woman he chose has a screw loose or he is just being paranoid.

Hcqmela:
Like me self I wonder but if it was to be the woman's case now na that time they go dey urge her to drive them away exactly the same thing dey accuse women of that's their area of specialization. Don't u wonder why some women don't relate well with some of their relatives. Its because of these same selfish men.

bilulu:

Your husband go suffer

I reject it in Jesus name.
YOU, will suffer.

Blu03:
It's really annoying. Noone should delibrately ruin the relationship of partners with his/her relatives.

If a man cannot create a balance in his home, is scared of correcting his people's mess ups, and loves them too much to the extent that he cannot nip their excesses in the bud, then he should please save his wife the trauma of having them around for long because they would do, overdo and undo and the man may not be able to put them in check. In most cases, these men expect the wives to correct them and when such attempt is made, the wife is brandished foul names and tagged a bad wife.



In the same vein, if a man loves his wife too much that he cannot control her excesses, then he should likewise save his people the trauma of coming to his house because the wife would make life difficult for them.