Simran94:

Nobody is saying relatives shouldn't come and visit, the issue is the mothers or younger siblings coming to LIVE with you and your spouse for months or years. It is not right!!!
Marriages don't have peace because of that, they always try to meddle in the lives of the new couple.

,

As i built a large home of your own, and my back bone (my mother) come staying and you are saying she should go. I bet you 24 hrs is much for you to still remain in the family.

According to my mother in-law "Your face no dey make me come your house" my response "Abi!"

Hmmmmmm. When u eventually give them 10inches they take 10 miles. Some educated but act like illiterates. They believe they have to know everything happening in ur home. Some backstab u because they are never satisfied about when u try to please them. I think husband's should try as much as possible not to be a weakling in setting boundaries for his relations and wife. Respect begets respect. When they want to take over home and they keep discussing your matter. Ladies look before u leap

why would anybody desire to live in another person's house though?
even when my mother goes for any "omugwo", she's barely patient for the time to leave that house

Better

"if you won't allow"??
Excuse me, who decides what goes around in your house??
Your wife??

This generation is full of "polite and respectful" men

BecaciaBarbie:

You are really making a big deal out of this and it’s wrong. What did the Bible say about a man leaving his whole family and cleaving to his wife? It was clearly stated there and the woman has the right over her home unless you don’t see her as your wife truly. If your wife decided today that your brothers should be off, you are to comply because even our Father Abraham complied to Sarah when she made such request, so who are you not to do same?

The problem isn’t even accommodating relatives, but accommodating relatives who only cause more problems in your marriage. As newly wedded couples, it has always been strictly advised not to accommodate anyone until few years, as both still need to get to know each other more. I’d rather have a very beautiful distance relationship with my in-laws than live with them and let the self respect disappear over Maggie issues? It is just common sense, and unless the situation is a life threatening one, it is really not advisable as they might even bang your wife if possible lol even if they are ladies, which is even worse, your marriage might not experience peace for the first few years! If your wife is okay with it, fine...let them in, as some people usually don’t mind but if she isn’t, you shouldn’t impose this decision on her. For instance some ladies like to walk around naked in the house, but having relatives around would obviously hinder such, then she has to be fully dressed all the time. Anyways, it is the couple’s decision to make and what works for A might not work for B.

What if the man has 2 wives??
You guys are turning a wife to a god who has the final say

The man decided who come to the house . Simple..

Unless he is splitting rent with his wife!!!!

"Polite and respectful" men full this generation o

A woman I call my wife won't mention such sef, she dey mad ni, my family that has bn through thick and thin with me. If she mention am na automatic hatred she'll get from me.

This is the reason why Cristiano Ronaldo break up with Irina Shayk!!!

Mother is gold
Father is diamond
Siblings and relations are blood/iron!!!


They can come to my house, anytime they want..


My wife must bend her kidding mindset!!! If she doesn't want to end up like Irina Shayk!!!!

Many Georgina full this life oooo..

Never allow any Irina Shayk separate you from your people!!!

Sterope:
Men will be acting like they are the only ones that have families.

That is the same thing Irina Shayk told Cristiano Ronaldo!!!

Ronaldo dump him because of that!!!!!

Georgina is different tho!! Homely and more accommodating!!!

Men should resist mindsets of any Irina Shayk

And glue to Georgina who is a real keeper!!!

Family is everything!!!!

AshiraWealthy:
To come and stay as what? Do these relatives not have their own homes? I for one find I difficult staying with couples or another family.
We should respect other peoples privacy. I dont like people invading my privacy even as a single talk more as a married couple.
Come visit and go that very day. If by error, you stayed till late, by next morning you should be off.

You will beat your Mother in law one day

pocohantas:


Burn!!!

Walahi, na unfortunate people dey leave their house go dey disturb person o. Can you imagine Otedola going to Cuppy's matrimonial home.

This is poor people's problem.

It’s not poor people problem na troublesome people issues, I have seen rich people act that way too, though the rich do more of bullying.

I came from humble home, lost my Dad at a very young age, I know how much we struggled together growing up, many sacrifices etc. Does that automatically means I will leave my job, pack my bags and start staying with my sisters and their family because we suffered together?
First of all, nobody owe me or anyone shit, these entitlement character breeds other forms of things.

How do people even feel comfortable staying in someone’s house? An adult staying with another adult? I can’t get my head around it.

My mama no go leave her business come your house, even to do Omugwo for the complete duration is an uphill tasks, none of my sis will leave their job/business and family to come stay with you, neither will my brother leave his job and ego to come stay with you.
I have been begging my sis, to visit me since 2 years now, I never see her brake light.

I don’t have any problem with my husband family coming over, (visiting o) Aged parent coming to stay for medical reason and care is fine, but there should be boundaries and mutual respect, I’m in no competition with his family and if you are going to choose your family over me, forgetting that I left my own family, so we can form ours, abeg no marry me o, I won’t be a second class citizen in my matrimonial home

Like Pcguru1 said, I’m fortunate enough to come from a family where everyone minds their business and respect boundaries!

eni4real:
You will beat your Mother in law one day

For what na?

Waterview:
Stick to anything related to asslicking CR7 but not intelligent discussions like this.

Although you're entitled to your own opinion but I'll still have to tackle you on this........

I see no reason why my lovely extended family (my sweet mum, lovely siblings and most importantly my Grandma) shouldn't stay with me.

In this era of conditional love ( people only get married because of what they'll get, especially women), one shouldn't ignore those who stood by him during the trying times for a wife ( probably a non virgin who decided to settle down after exploring all sexual fantasies).

I will always treat my wife and extended family equally.

The era of true love is over.

True love exist... And that is what you get from your Mother, Father and blood lines!!!

Your wife has to be consistent for like 20 years in Marriage before you can say truly that she loves you unconditionally!!! And vice versa anyway!!!

Never allow your spouse to separate you from your families.. NEVER!!! Not negotiable!!

Don't mind Jokerman

AshiraWealthy:


For what na?

You like Privacy too much!!

As a married woman, you can't stop your husband's family from visiting!!!

They will visit and you must appreciate that!!!

Being homely as a wife is beyond playing love in Tokyo with your husband alone...
In Africa, you marry your husband and his family and vice versa!!!

Even my club chairman will come and stay

AmTruth:
That's why I said that misunderstanding is inevitable, but women must learn to tolerate it for them to truly have a happy married life.

Not just women, you should also learn to tolerate her family.

eni4real:
You like Privacy too much!!

As a married woman, you can't stop your husband's family from visiting!!!

They will visit and you must appreciate that!!!

Being homely as a wife is beyond playing love in Tokyo with your husband alone...
In Africa, you marry your husband and his family and vice versa!!!

Go back and read my first comment again. I didn't say they can't visit, they can. but coming to live with us is what I'm against.

As you are now, are you living with any of your relations?
Why would you wish somebody to go and be living with their relatives instead of praying for them to be independent and comfortable on their own?

AshiraWealthy:


Go back and read my first comment again. I didn't say they can't visit, they can. but coming to live with us is what I'm against.

As you are now, are you living with any of your relations?
Why would you wish somebody to go and be living with their relatives instead of praying for them to be independent and comfortable on their own?

They will visit and stay with you!!!
You can kick against your family members if you are not cool with them or paranoid against their characters and conducts. That is between you and your family members.. You know them better!!!

But you dare not tell your husband to prevent his people from staying... What is visiting without staying anyway??

bigiyaro:
OP u are very correct, after ur blood family have finished raising and molding u, one woman will enter and start forming 'my husband' while she was never there in the beginning. some migth even leave when the going gets very rough but ur blood family will still be dia for u, they were around when u have nothing and will still be around when u have everything, a woman was complaining about soup in one thread because of the Hubby's brother, what if it was her own Darling junior brother? Let us beware of such stingy and self-centered women.

Na man they use e hand bring e family down ,
When u say trash about your siblings in front of your wife ,the wife does that too ,,,

When u tell your wife ,my younger brother is a fool or an idiot
Bro watch how your wife too will start insulting your younger ones because na we men use our hand take bring our family down

eni4real:
You like Privacy too much!!

As a married woman, you can't stop your husband's family from visiting!!!

They will visit and you must appreciate that!!!

Being homely as a wife is beyond playing love in Tokyo with your husband alone...
In Africa, you marry your husband and his family and vice versa!!!

Do you also marry your wife and her family
Seem Africans are confused, indecisive and hypocritical in everything. One minute, you are quoting the religious books, next minutes you realised you are Africans
We are two-faced in everything, we practice leaving our father and mother to cleave to our spouse tag, and at the same time practices marry your spouse and their families. So evident that we are confused hypocrites.

Meeyankee:
People like Bukatyne will not like this thread.you married to a weak man who will allowed his family to visit him because he has taken one over used lady from the street that is not even a Virgin. You guys should take not of this lady with this moniker Bukatyne she is a very bad wicked lady.who doesn’t allow her in-laws to visit their brother because of her own selfish interest.

let's check VAR

TheArchangel:
Do you also marry your wife and her family
Seem Africans are confused, indecisive and hypocritical in everything. One minute, you are quoting the religious books, next minutes you realised you are Africans
We are two-faced in everything, we practice leaving our father and mother to cleave to our spouse tag, and at the same time practices marry your spouse and their families. So evident that we are confused hypocrites.

Yes, you marry your wife and her family!!!
Absolute yes!!!

Who was quoting religious book??

I think you are the confused one here!!!

You should be self motivated!!!

The one that pains me most is when a woman that has not contributed for the upkeep of the house complains that the husband's sibling enters her kitchen. Let's try and be accommodating. I have lived with my husband's sister for 3years and if she does what I don't like I'll tell her. She takes her food by herself. If I have big meat for Oga I will tell her not to touch the big meat o that it's for her brother. If after treating her nicely she goes behind me to gossip so be it afteral people will always talk behind one's back

eni4real:
Yes, you marry your wife and her family!!!
Absolute yes!!!

Who was quoting religious book??

your hypocritical goons up there.


All this arguments are things that should be sorted out during courtship and to not accept what you cannot take.

desireoge:
The one that pains me most is when a woman that has not contributed for the upkeep of the house complains that the husband's sibling enters her kitchen. Let's try and be accommodating. I have lived with my husband's sister for 3years and if she does what I don't like I'll tell her. She takes her food by herself. If I have big meat for Oga I will tell her not to touch the big meat o that it's for her brother. If after treating her nicely she goes behind me to gossip so be it afteral people will always talk behind one's back

You Sabi jare!!!
Don't mind all the Chewing gum girls in Nairaland complaining over nothing!!!

Wish you more success in your Marriage!!!

eni4real:
Yes, you marry your wife and her family!!!
Absolute yes!!!

Who was quoting religious book??

I think you are the confused one here!!!

You should be self motivated!!!

i notice you added something sinister. Do not start or you won't like the expunge.

TheArchangel:
your hypocritical goons up there.


All this arguments are things that should be sorted out during courtship and to not accept what you cannot take.

Goons??
Many ladies were quoting it too!!! Not only the guys !!!

Religion is relevant in our lives but other factors play their roles too... We are Africans and we must never forget that!!
Family is everything!!!

TheArchangel:
i notice you added something sinister. Do not start or you won't like the expunge.

Is that a threat or something??
Nairaland can be outrageous...

eni4real:
Is that a threat or something??
Nairaland can be outrageous...

It is what it is.
Do not dish out what you cannot take.

TheArchangel:
It is what it is.
Do not dish out what you cannot take.

What are you talking about??
Dish what??
Why are you looking for a sparring partner??