bukatyne:


1. Thank you, I do not buy into the deception of opposite sex 'besties'. Can you define what having a life means?

2. Let's talk: what is the use of a male bestie for a lady who has a boyfriend? What is the place of the boyfriend? What is the place of the bestie?

3. We can flip it to 'why should she end a relationship for friendship that can end tomorrow?' Remember in my disclaimer, I am not talking of casual relationships.

4. What if your woman suddenly finds herself in a new crowd because she moved to a new environment or picked a new elective?

5. & 6. Until humans start moulding their spouses, there will always be something you don't like when you move closer or something they develop you have to nip in the bud. I call it a perfect template that needs tweaking once in a while.

Hope you found the tread useful.

Modified:

I see you updated your post.

The point of the thread is to enlighten younger girls to understand what boring is not.

I hear and see it all the time and when I ask why, they begin to list qualities that should make a guy a hot catch.

Please increase the volume so people at the back can hear.

That's how some will be doing bestie bestie and be deceiving themselves.

Romanoff:


That's what I'm saying. Everyone is different.

In a debate, sometimes we accept defeat. Defeat not that we lose but for peace to reign.
I was told "SHOW ME YOUR FRIEND AND I TELL WHO YOU ARE" I don't believe in that shit.
Most of my male friends are smokers but I don't. It boils down to the individual.
Having a bestie does not in anyway means I MUST Bleep her.

If I were a female and my bf or husband tells me not to have a male bestie but he is OK seeing me with a female bestie I'd ask him if he's comfortable with lesbianism


This shit boils down to individuals.

case closed!

faithfull18:

You can't afford it besides I wouldn't want you crying all over NL about paying a woman's fees and bla bla.

Ok, let me nice . You need to pay it for yourself to attend the school as you obviously need the teachings.

I need the teachings of ubunja. Not this crap

Newmanluckyman:
...ok. it's fine.

But I'm of the strongest opinion that poor girls should marry poor men while rich women should only go for rich men.

If one it's talking about compatibility, I think this is the highest form of it.

From what I have seen in Nigeria, the word compatibility doesn't exist in the minds of women especially when a man is very RICH, WEALTHY AND MATERIALLY AFFLUENT.

In all fairness,with the way things are going in Nigeria and the world at large. I will raise no eyebrow if the rich marry the rich and the poor marry the poor. With the absence/ limited existence of selfless/true love and the level of self-centeredness and fake love displayed by people, i will not urge anyone to make unnecessary sacrifice as a proof of love.

Nukubib:
Please increase the volume it so people at the back can hear.

That's how some will be doing bestie bestie and be deceiving themselves.

Besties of the opposite sex is a no no.

bukatyne:


1. I am not a regular in the romance section, the family section so I don't know about guys edging ladies. Your friend however 'unedged' came to this thread to start ranting. The guys that were against a lady here, I told them off and even pleaded with the lady. Your post I quoted is not how to caution someone.

2. You did not think someone who came to start ranting paranoid, I am the one paranoid. Like I said, I don't care how ladies see anything from me. I have not ganged up on any lady so I expect any lady who doesn't agree with my threads to have the self respect to steer clear. As for your last line, direct it to your friend. I don't know her moniker so whatever issues she has, she should sort it out outside of my threads.

That's your headache to deal with, I don't give a hoot.

When you are ready to make sense, let me know.

bukatyne:
Good evening my people, how quarantine?

This thread is primarily for young ladies in their late teens to early twenties who are in serious relationships.

Disclaimer:
1. This thread is suited for ladies who want to date/sleep with as little men as possible before marriage. If you are in a relationship for a 'good' or 'fun' time, you don't need this thread as you will naturally gravitate towards men/boys who can provide the 'excitement.'

2. This thread is not claiming that serious minded guys/men are not 'exciting.' They can and do provide excitement in their own way.

3. I am a firm believer of young girls finding a young husband material as quickly as possible. I call it investing your youth in a husband material. I am not a fan of huge age gaps; I rather the young catch the young. . Bar exceptions, I not think building a career and a relationship/marriage cannot go hand in hand.

To the thread proper:

I see a number of young ladies call a serious young man 'boring' because he is not into the fast life. He is more grounded, focused on things that betters the future of you too such as education, mental capacity, emotional development etc. He is that guy that would invite you for a career fair or marriage seminar. He doesn't care about the 'get together' happening in the house of the Yahoo guy that just hammered nor is he interested in clubbing everyday.

He is not seeking for a girl he just wants to sleep with; he has seen you as a wife material he wants to groom to be the best version of yourself. He is the guy that would rather help you with your coursework.

He is seen as boring because he is principled and expects same from you. He is not going to give you drama and would not expect drama from you either. Cheating, collecting contacts from guys, double-dating, hanging out with questionable friends, claiming bestie with guys etc. He expects loyalty and faithfulness. He is not a 'I am just passing or marking my own' guy so he needs you really invested in the relationship. This characteristic of principle is sometimes mistaken for 'strictness' or 'rigidity.'

He would most likely not be the fun seeking type. This doesn't mean you both cannot create the type of entertainment suited to you. He might suggest going for a book fair or GT Bank Food Fair over visiting the new club opening. If you want to dance, get music and dance together. His priorities would also be different; he would pick an future enhancing activity over fluff if he has to choose.

And nope, he is not going to accept the version of yourself you bring to the table just like that. He will encourage and require you to finetune it. He might point out some stuffs about you he doesn't like; your dressing, makeup, hair do, carriage, attitude to classes, interests,friends etc. He is not the anything goes guy because he is invested in your future and naturally wants to protect his interests.

He would be protective of you so don't be surprised if he doesn't want you mixing with a particular crowd or wearing certain clothes or conducting yourself in a certain way. He is not trying to stifle you or keep you from enjoying life; he just wants his woman to be the best version of herself for him.

Hmmmmmmm, sex; he might have enough self-control to abstain, he might not. If it happens, the sex is going to be with care. Even if he wants to be a ruff rider, it would still be with the consciousness that this is my baby till the end. The way you use aso ebi for one time is different from the way you use lace kept at the bottom of the box.


Jara:
Any man who is fine with everything you do or doesn't have a contrary opinion is either with you for the short term therefore not willing to invest in you OR pretending and waiting till after marriage to show his true colours.

Hence the popular 'men change in marriage'.

I hope this would be very useful to a baby girl about to 'end' that relationship because the bobo is boring or 'not a happening guy.'

Please i want to refer my girlfriend to you. How can she contact you.

Romanoff:


I still maintain there's nothing wrong with it and my partner trusts me very plenty.

... O ga emeghi vum na anya one day.

Brock202:

Please i want to refer my girlfriend to you. How can she contact you.

She should my threads, she will be fine.

If she has any questions, she can quote and ask me with a new moniker or her current one.

I don't do outside engagements, sorry

Ariza:
Lol... What's the outburst all about Bukatyne? We all know how guys here love edging ladies against one another. It's evident on this thread which started as a logical debate only for some mentally unstable beings with 'm' to perch on it and rain insults. That's my concern and that's what I advised her to guide against.I don't know you, I know her so pardon me if I chose her to caution.

Bukatyne, I see no reason for you to be paranoid here. Perhaps reactions like these are reasons most ladies see anything from you as opposition. Please deal with your issues and leave me out of your feud. Jeeeeezzzz!

..."most ladies". Please where do you conduct this statistical poll?

I don't like people that hide under the influence of innuendos to subtly abused their fellow human.

Stop it!!

Bukatyne is an excellent woman. A highly intellectual resource person.

GreatResearcher:
I need the teachings of ubunja. Not this crap

You see where you keep getting it wrong.

This is the kind of teachings you should pay attention to but no, you would rather go for one that will set you up on the destructive lane fast.

Na you sabi, it's your choice to make.

Romanoff:


Inexperience?

Rotfl. Kindly keep your advice to yourself cause it ended in insults. My fiancé has become my best friend even though he knows my bestie. My bestie is also engaged to be married.

I might not see my bestie every day, I haven't even seen him in months but we are still very close and it has been platonic all these three years.

I know the crowd I roll with, they are like minded people like me. We don't go about thinking of how to sleep with each other but how to elevate each other spiritually, in our careers and business and psychologically.

Likes attract likes.

Bye.

...don't worry UNAWARE can beat even the strongest. Keep swimming in pride.

faithfull18:

You see where you keep getting it wrong.

This is the kind of teachings you should pay attention to but no, you would rather go for one that will set you up on the destructive lane fast.

Na you sabi, it's your choice to make.

I should pay attention to someone telling me not to have a bestie?

Ariza:
In all fairness,with the way things are going on Nigeria and the world at large. I will raise no eyebrow if the rich marry the rich and the poor marry the poor. With the absence/ limited existence of selfless/true love and the level of self-centeredness and fake love displayed by people, i will not urge anyone to make unnecessary sacrifice to prove love.

...excellent.

bukatyne:


She should my threads, she will be fine.

If she has any questions, she can quote and ask me with a new moniker or her current one.

I don't do outside engagements, sorry

I' ve gone through your previous threads and my reason for referring her to you is quite different. I once create a thread about her and i still need solutions to her predicament. If you're chanced can you please go through it?

GreatResearcher:
I should pay attention to someone telling me not to have a bestie?

I don't agree with all of the points she raised though, I agree with some.

Ariza:
That's your headache to deal with, I don't give a hoot.

When you are ready to make sense, let me know.

...This is not fair naa.

I'm beginning to like you but you are making me to exercise caution.

bukatyne you're a rare gem. keep up the good work, Don't mind those detractors, they will keep being bitter.

xrayj:

@bold because the op doesn't preach the things u want to hear, it is baldersdash? This thread is for young ladies like u, looking for that "happening guy". After your lives has been shattered & ruined by that happening guy & that male bestie has dumped one baby inside of u, u come back looking for the boring guy with one baby. U people never learn!

Lol. The child of destruction will always turn deaf ears to correction and wise counsel. Ask them where the relationships with all the spontaneous guys led; nowhere .

Funny thing is most girls who don’t like boring guys are the most boring women out there. If you need someone else to provide you with excitement, then you’re not really fun to be with yourself.

After one baby with no father, they’ll be “looking for stability”, and will be “done with fuckbois”. The script always plays itself. And you wonder if they ever learn.

Newmanluckyman:
...This is not fair naa.

I'm beginning to like you but you are making me to exercise caution.

Lol see my life no hard oooo, on some other thread we(buka and I) will continue logical discussion where we stop. I can't fry my brain over inconsequential arguments. Read through the thread and see if I typed anything wrong especially the one she quoted to rant. . If person wan play, we will play. If she wan fight I no get time. Lemme just carry myself and go.


This life I can't kill myself ooo.

SeverusSnape:
bukatyne you're a rare gem. keep up the good work, Don't mind those detractors, they will keep being bitter.

Thank you very much.

Brock202:

I' ve gone through your previous threads and my reason for referring her to you is quite different. I once create a thread about her and i still need solutions to her predicament. If you're chanced can you please go through it?

At your first quote, I went through your profile.

I have asked some questions on that thread.

Paxie55:

Please, shut up.
You don't just see someone on the net and draw out a baseless conclusion. I'm even into boring guys more. I have my man well reserved. All I'm saying is that she's on this habit of always telling women how to live their lives for nitwits and dumb idiots as if her life is perfect.

To be honest, this comment of yours is okoto yarnings.

You’re not really concerned about whether there’s any merit to the OP, you’re simply pissed because she, according to you, “All I'm saying is that she's on this habit of always telling women how to live their lives for nitwits and dumb idiots as if her life is perfect.”

Do you know how many doctors smoke cigarettes and have unprotected sex despite knowing the dangers involved in such activities? Learn to have logical communication and try to keep your emotions under control.

Grow up. Take the message and leave the messenger

faithfull18:

I don't agree with all of the points she raised though, I agree with some.

OK. Am off to reddit

KevinDein:

Jesus Christ you are just so bitter and sad. What exactly is getting you all worked up. This is a very harmless thread encouraging young ladies to give good young men who would help them become the best version of themselves a chance. Literally that's all the op is all about.

What is wrong with that?

What’s wrong with the thread is that it stylishly tells women to eschew the cock carousel and hoe phase.

All the objections you’re reading is their hamster spinning the usual excuses. The wall is waiting for all of them

Ariza:
Lol see my life no hard oooo, on some other thread we(buka and I) will continue logical discussion where we stop. I can't fry my brain over inconsequential arguments. Read through the thread and see if I typed anything wrong especially the one she quoted to rant. . If person wan play, we will play. If she wan fight I no get time. Lemme just carry myself and go.


This life I can't kill myself ooo.

... I like your sense of humor. You are very intelligent too.

bukatyne:


Very true.

so teach people how to make. Money or their lives better. No hoodwinking a guy into a potential loveless and lonely marriage

....and this piece was written by a woman! Wow..
bukatyne How long did it take you before you realised all these though?

bukatyne:


At your first quote, I went through your profile.

I have asked some questions on that thread.

I've answered your questions

bukatyne:


You have been noticed, next.

Now let people whom this thread was created for read and learn.

... Your maturity here is of topnotch

WHAT IS THE ESSENCE OF MARIAGE,if i may ask, mariage is for procreation, giving birth to children, so those who ar lookng for quality, beaty and handsome,fun, age gap, etc, should wait to enter d main thing, u will see dat every young person chase a shadow, when it comes to marriage, in d days of old, aged men get maried to young women successfully gave birth to most of ur grandfathers,in those days ppl dont select much, but today we select much yet stil divoce, d litle pleasure in sex is to make it possiple for them to meet, d sellection and fantasy is d youg generational creation, it does not exist, wen u enter properly u wil kno, d purpose of marriage is procreation, i said again, even d op write in his tender mind, d real thing is rational and rational is d real thing. pleasure and fantasies, cutie,bestie,handsome,beaty are mirage.

bukatyne:

You have been noticed, next.

Now let people whom this thread was created for read and learn.

Buka, that's the alternate of someone "popular".. put in quotes because she likes to think of herself like that.

Be careful who you engage.

Cheers...