Newmanluckyman:
...don't worry UNAWARE can beat even the strongest. Keep swimming in pride.

Keep swimming in your over confidence of what you think you know.

Newmanluckyman:
... O ga emeghi vum na anya one day.

A o ni ri ojo ibi l'oruko Jesu.

Romanoff:
I was okay with all you said until I saw the male bestie part and then, some of your comments made it look like a woman can't have a life just cause she's hoping to get married.


A woman can have a male bestie and it will be a pure friendship. Any man who can't handle a woman who has a male beat friend should just leave her alone and go for one who doesn't.

Why should a woman throw her friendship away because of relationship that might end tomorrow.

Instead of controlling the crowd she moves with, why not look around for a woman who flows with your kind of crowd?

This kind of thinking makes it looks like a man should change a woman to suit him.

How about you look for woman that suits you in the first place?

The happening guy verse boring guy part. See ehn, every woman has what she wants in a man. Some like the happening guys and some just want a quiet life.

I've seen these fast life girls marry a boring guy and still want to club why husband is home. I know one sef that left her baby at home while her husband travelled so she could go clubbing.

Just have the right qualities you want in a partner and date with a purpose. My two cents.

I Hope the bold is not the usual double standard . , Are you cool with your man having a fine female bestie ?

Romanoff:


So why can't any of the guys I spoke of be besties?

I've got two male besties and two female besties. They are also engaged to be married and our friendship is pure.

So the woman also gets to "tweak" the man like she's calibrating medications?

Talk is cheap, Can you accept your man having a female bestie ?

Romanoff:


The it speaks less of the woman of she gives herself up to be a woman of easy virtue. She might not be worth your time after all.

Nope. We are human beings with vulnerabilities. The bestie will usually pick a time to strike when the lady is emotionally distressed.

Peacefullove:


I Hope the bold is not the usual double standard . , Are you cool with your man having a fine female bestie ?

I've got no problem with it o.

Romanoff:


So why can't any of the guys I spoke of be besties?

I've got two male besties and two female besties. They are also engaged to be married and our friendship is pure.

So the woman also gets to "tweak" the man like she's calibrating medications?

There are different kinds of besties. Some male besties are harmless. The problem is you usually dont know so to avoid problems, it's better to discourage such a bestie.

Also, how can you have 4 besties? By definition theres only one. Are you sure we are talking about the same thing here?

Peacefullove:


, Can you accept your man having a female bestie ?

Dyonne:


There are different kinds of besties. Some male besties are harmless. The problem is you usually dont know so to avoid problems, it's better to discourage such a bestie.

Also, how can you have 4 besties? By definition theres only one. Are you sure we are talking about the same thing here?

They are the only friends I've got and I love them equally, asides my fiancé sha. I love him scatter.

I have only three friends cause I don't make friends easily.

My friends must have sense and we must share similar values. We don't club, drink, smoke or engage in social vices. We have jobs and businesses and we all meet at least, once a month, unless in rare cases but we catch up on WhatsApp and over calls.

Romanoff:


I've got no problem with it o.

A case of keeping blood in the mouth but spitting saliva... U can't deceive us here.
Keep Trying to save face

Peacefullove:


A case of keeping blood in the mouth but spitting saliva... U can't deceive us here.
Keep Trying to save face

This is a faceless forum, so you don't know me. I'm the realest and laid back person you'll ever know. I have no cause to think negatively about people till they've given me cause to.

Ariza:
In all fairness,with the way things are going in Nigeria and the world at large. I will raise no eyebrow if the rich marry the rich and the poor marry the poor. With the absence/ limited existence of selfless/true love and the level of self-centeredness and fake love displayed by people, i will not urge anyone to make unnecessary sacrifice as a proof of love.

..please Ariza where are you from?

Honestly this is paid content

Paxie55:

You are so right. That's the reason I'm on this thread to tell it right to her face.

I don't comment on her threads aside today.

Anger.

Jealousy.

Her threads remind people like of your inadequacies, so like a worm dropped in salt, you squirm whenever you see them.
Instead of you to self-reflect, you lash out, and feign indignation.

COVIK19:

If you completely read that Post and you think it’s balderdash then, you either have comprehension issues, having a bad day, or you just decide to be ignorant

or stupid

Paxie55:

Please, shut up.
You don't just see someone on the net and draw out a baseless conclusion. I'm even into boring guys more. I have my man well reserved. All I'm saying is that she's on this habit of always telling women how to live their lives for nitwits and dumb idiots as if her life is perfect.

She reminds me of one of those aunties who dish out advices at every giving second, not putting into consideration that their relationship is the girl's worst nightmare. I'm also not surprised by this thread of hers

Newmanluckyman:
... I like your sense of humor. You are very intelligent too.

Thank you.

Newmanluckyman:
..please Ar iza where are you from?

I hope I'm safe.

Romanoff:


I've got no problem with it o.

u better have problem with it o

Paxie55:

Please, shut up.
You don't just see someone on the net and draw out a baseless conclusion. I'm even into boring guys more. I have my man well reserved. All I'm saying is that she's on this habit of always telling women how to live their lives for nitwits and dumb idiots as if her life is perfect.

she is not telling you how to live your life, she is dishing out sensible advice l doubt your dumb head could comprehend, This is a public forum if you don't like her threads you move to the next one.

Ariza:
I hope I'm safe.

...you are very safe my dear.

Just that I want to know you more. If possible we can discus aside this platform.

Just attracted by your level of intelligence, sense of humor .

Yes something good and big can come out of nairaland. Impossibility is nothing.

lefulefu:
u better have problem with it o

Not all of us are like you o. All of us go dey alright las las

Sixfeetbelle:
Correct me if I'm wrong but what I understood from your post is that you are encouraging ladies to get together with a guy who doesn't fly in the same social circle as them.

I have to object. Compatibility is the deal for me in marriage bound relationships. If I'm a social butterfly, a disciplined rigid person can't expect me to suddenly/gradually tone down my outgoing self to match his introversion, likewise, vice versa. If he even insists through trying to 'tweak me' he'll be cutting off something about me that I won't realise is missing now until in near future. By then I'd feel so disadvantaged reconciliation with him would be impossible.

I believe that we should be with who matches our level of free-spirit than with someone we will have to lower or build up ours to match theirs. If I do, in years from now, I'd miss the old me and hubby would be back to his old him and discord would arise.

You really spoke well, that's probably why you have very few likes.

I do believe people should marry/date their kind, if you live and dine in the club 24/7 it's better to marry that type of man.

If you like to stay at home 24/7 & read books, then marry that type of man too.

I do believe that youthful exuberance and age can play a big part, therefore some women tend to change in their 30s. But all in all we should stick to our type.

God knows i can never cope with a social butterfly lmao.

Newmanluckyman:
... I like your sense of humor. You are very intelligent too.

hope this ass licking will not put shit in your mouth

Paxie55:

Mumu. You said I'm idle, hence I showed you that you can use your time for something productive and educating instead seeking for validations from 12year old kids on here.
Live your perfect life and attract the world's most responsible and intelligent guys in the world. Atleast, that's what your high self esteem can get you in your dream land, unlike what we are seeing here. A woman with slave mentality that lives every seconds of her life to please stupid people.

Go through this thread. There are people already married for a couple years viewing and giving their contribution. That’s what’s normally expected from responsible sound minds, no name calling or abuses. If you can’t digest this post and contribute sensibly then you should unfollow the thread and just walk away, stop messing the whole place with empty comments, OP took out time to pen down her post and people are giving contributions, if you can’t either open a sensible thread with your time or comment in a civil way on a thread put down by someone else, then you should get the hell out of here.

Before you tell me it’s not my forum, and not my data. You can also stay here and keep on being bitter.

Vick4rill:
hope this ass licking will not put shit in your mouth

Vick4rill:
hope this ass licking will not put shit in your mouth

...Is it your asslicking?

Ephraimryder:
Alexaonfleek

Hi. you sent me a pm but ive not been able to access it again. pls resend

I didn't mean to offend you, although the fact that you were offended or saw my text as an insult underlines the "inexperience" I was talking of.

You mentioned fiancee?? ROTFL!! Trust me, a fiancee really doesn't count... yet. A husband does. Many people have several fiancees before they marry. But that is beside the point.

I can talk about your inexperience because I went through your phase several years ago. Many of my close friends also did. Now, married and in retrospect, we realize a lot of naivety played in the past.

The point I'm underlining is that there should be only one person in your life that should hold all your emotion at this age... the person you're dating or in your case, your fiancee. If it doesn't work, transfer that devotion to the next person.

You projected yourself as a Christian here... Ask someone older and wiser in church (if you attend a balanced church) and you'd validate what I'm telling you.

Many women go into marriage with this bestie mindset and almost all have regretted it. Not saying it hasn't worked for some, but it generally fails.

Just so you know, like does not attract likes. The best marriages are of two different people who admire the differences in each other and are willing to merge to potentate their performance. Try having two meticulous people in one house and see how it would be over time... or two hotheads... or two romantics. You may have similar interests, but interests change. What keeps people in long relationships is not similarity or likes. It is the temperance to tolerate excesses. I won't say anymore.

Romanoff:


Inexperience?

Rotfl. Kindly keep your advice to yourself cause it ended in insults. My fiancé has become my best friend even though he knows my bestie. My bestie is also engaged to be married.

I might not see my bestie every day, I haven't even seen him in months but we are still very close and it has been platonic all these three years.

I know the crowd I roll with, they are like minded people like me. We don't go about thinking of how to sleep with each other but how to elevate each other spiritually, in our careers and business and psychologically.

Likes attract likes.

Bye.

Thanks for this response. You are very correct.

Magnoliaa:


What's your definition of 'life,' first off? Because there's nothing in the OP that hinted at restrictions on a woman's life. It's just all about what you want.

Why should you have a bestie that is not the person you're in a relationship with sef? Especially a bestie of the opposite sex. I used to be a part of the clique that chants 'there's nothing there,' but to be honest? I can't wrap my head around it. Same for a guy. Why not just date your FEMALE BEST FRIEND? Because you know everything about each other already. If you are not in a relationship, na only small go remain.

.

Yeah. Depends on the depth of closeness. But there's some level of closeness between my SO and his female friend I won't be cool with.




No. Not a relationship that might end tomorrow. An ... agreeable relationship. Compatible in every single way. Spiritually, psychologically, dreams and values. Like, bonding in every level, from the unseen to the superficial. You don't get that kind every day, haha.



All you've said. The post was clearly not everywoman. So, it's like you ended up not saying anything. You repeated what the OP mentioned. It's clearly about a man/woman looking for someone that fits them. This is not about changing anyone.

A man commited to seeing you be a better version of yourself? You hardly see this any where.

That's who the OP is describing. It's not about controlling...

ideykwum:
I didn't mean to offend you, although the fact that you were offended or saw my text as an insult underlines the "inexperience" I was talking of.

You mentioned fiancee?? ROTFL!! Trust me, a fiancee really doesn't count... yet. A husband does. Many people have several fiancees before they marry. But that is beside the point.

I can talk about your inexperience because I went through your phase several years ago. Many of my close friends also did. Now, married and in retrospect, we realize a lot of naivety played in the past.

The point I'm underlining is that there should be only one person in your life that should hold all your emotion at this age... the person you're dating or in your case, your fiancee. If it doesn't work, transfer that devotion to the next person.

You projected yourself as a Christian here... Ask someone older and wiser in church (if you attend a balanced church) and you'd validate what I'm telling you.

Many women go into marriage with this bestie mindset and almost all have regretted it. Not saying it hasn't worked for some, but it generally fails.

Just so you know, like does not attract likes. The best marriages are of two different people who admire the differences in each other and are willing to merge to potentate their performance. Try having two meticulous people in one house and see how it would be over time... or two hotheads... or two romantics. You may have similar interests, but interests change. What keeps people in long relationships is not similarity or likes. It is the temperance to tolerate excesses. I won't say anymore.

You think I'm in a relationship cause we have similar interest?

I don't ever take advice from people online. I know where my advisers are.

Thank you tho.

bukatyne:


This is one of my shortest threads.

Read it, it would do you a whole world of good.