₦airaland Forum

geekybabe:
Leave everyone to handle their breakup the way they want.
If they wanna post motivational quotes, let them post. Finish. Keep your opinions to yourself and let women breathe..

Shallow minds...

yyba:
may coronavirus and dangerous thunder locate my ex and her parents immediately .

Ah! Did she break ur hrt with sledgehammer . Or was her entire family involved in d breakup

Calm down bro.

Gordieshegz:
To avoid preventable mistakes, an ex shouldn't be taken as a normal friend.
By normal friends, you talk often, maybe even visit.
But we must remember that feelings don't die, just dormant. And can be reactivated anytime anyday under some conditions, especially with attention through strings.

This act alone has been responsible for many married people keeping concubines with their exes, or dating people losing their new relationships because parts of them are still want to be with their exes.

Except for genetic incompatibility, if they were so good for us, why are they exes in the first place?

Lol..I get your point bro, nice write up

My problem is this, I saw a chat of my girlfriend serially cheating with a particular dude, not once or twice , she confessed to doing that..and I have broken up with her which she accepted if that would make me happy,.. because she asked if we can't make it up, I blatantly said , no..Now she keeps chatting me up about her activities, I don't just want to keep chatting with her and wouldn't want to see her as an enemy, how can I then solve this??

SaintHilary:

Girls are the most confused beings on earth. Only them go breakup, only them go still form motivational speaker. "I'm stronger now ..
"Beautiful life ahead
"Single and happy
Yen Yen Yen!

Anty you're not happy!! Stop deceiving your inner self..Why not head to Erriga's Twitter page and learn a thing or two about life

See as ur writing fine...hope say u sabi book too..

mhizgracie22:
"I'm better off without you", "I like the woman I'm becoming". Do these statements ring a bell? Many of us have come across quotes like this on WhatsApp, Facebook and so on. Whenever we see quotes like this, the first thing that comes to mind is that the individual who posted it, just got out of a relationship.

I find it funny that after a break up, most people try to prove that they're over their exes by posting motivational quotes like the ones above or memes aimed at making their exes feel uncomfortable. For example, a girl who just got out of a relationship with a stingy guy may constantly post memes condemning stingy guys on her WhatsApp status, hoping her ex will see it and feel bad. Or a girl who just got out of a relationship with a guy who constantly ignored her, may start posting motivational quotes like "Don't force yourself on anybody", "don't settle for less", "don't stay where you are not wanted" etc immediately after the breakup.

If you really want to give your ex the impression that you're over them, posting memes and motivational quotes is not the way. The best way to do that is to act like nothing happened, and that should also reflect in what you post on your WhatsApp status or anywhere else. Post normal stuff, don't post anything relating to breakups or relationships. When you constantly post motivational quotes after a breakup, it gives your ex the impression that you're still thinking about them and that you're still hurt. But when you act like nothing happened, it makes your ex wonder if they ever meant anything to you (I'm talking from experience).

You should also avoid making your ex feel that you hate them, scientists say that our pupils dilate when we see someone we love or someone we hate, so when you hate someone, they still have an effect on you physically, mentally and emotionally. It's better for your ex to think that you've forgotten about them than to think that you hate them. I've actually met a guy who was satisfied with the fact that his ex girlfriend still hated him, he said her hatred was proof that she was not over him yet. They later got back together but the bottom line is that when you harbour hatred for an ex, it means you're not over them completely.

You may never want to get back together with them, but they still have a strong effect on you and your mood, so try as much as possible to forget, not hate. Some people might hurt you so much that you can't even control your hatred for them, take all the time you need to heal from the pain, but don't make it obvious to them that you hate them, you don't have to put on a fake smile when you see them, just be civil, avoid sounding angry or bitter. *This is just my opinion, not a fact, do whatever you think is best for you*

Note: you should only do all this if you want to give your ex the impression that you've moved on, if you want to hash out the problems between you and your ex, there is no need to act like you don't care about them anymore but play it cool so you don't seem desperate. Also, if the issue that resulted in the breakup is a very serious one, it's better to discuss it and iron it out than to act like nothing happened.

This is me, this is my tactics. I behave like nothing happen. You are talking to me mhiz

mhizgracie22:
"I'm better off without you", "I like the woman I'm becoming". Do these statements ring a bell? Many of us have come across quotes like this on WhatsApp, Facebook and so on. Whenever we see quotes like this, the first thing that comes to mind is that the individual who posted it, just got out of a relationship.

I find it funny that after a break up, most people try to prove that they're over their exes by posting motivational quotes like the ones above or memes aimed at making their exes feel uncomfortable. For example, a girl who just got out of a relationship with a stingy guy may constantly post memes condemning stingy guys on her WhatsApp status, hoping her ex will see it and feel bad. Or a girl who just got out of a relationship with a guy who constantly ignored her, may start posting motivational quotes like "Don't force yourself on anybody", "don't settle for less", "don't stay where you are not wanted" etc immediately after the breakup.

If you really want to give your ex the impression that you're over them, posting memes and motivational quotes is not the way. The best way to do that is to act like nothing happened, and that should also reflect in what you post on your WhatsApp status or anywhere else. Post normal stuff, don't post anything relating to breakups or relationships. When you constantly post motivational quotes after a breakup, it gives your ex the impression that you're still thinking about them and that you're still hurt. But when you act like nothing happened, it makes your ex wonder if they ever meant anything to you (I'm talking from experience).

You should also avoid making your ex feel that you hate them, scientists say that our pupils dilate when we see someone we love or someone we hate, so when you hate someone, they still have an effect on you physically, mentally and emotionally. It's better for your ex to think that you've forgotten about them than to think that you hate them. I've actually met a guy who was satisfied with the fact that his ex girlfriend still hated him, he said her hatred was proof that she was not over him yet. They later got back together but the bottom line is that when you harbour hatred for an ex, it means you're not over them completely.

You may never want to get back together with them, but they still have a strong effect on you and your mood, so try as much as possible to forget, not hate. Some people might hurt you so much that you can't even control your hatred for them, take all the time you need to heal from the pain, but don't make it obvious to them that you hate them, you don't have to put on a fake smile when you see them, just be civil, avoid sounding angry or bitter. *This is just my opinion, not a fact, do whatever you think is best for you*

Note: you should only do all this if you want to give your ex the impression that you've moved on, if you want to hash out the problems between you and your ex, there is no need to act like you don't care about them anymore but play it cool so you don't seem desperate. Also, if the issue that resulted in the breakup is a very serious one, it's better to discuss it and iron it out than to act like nothing happened.

This epistle long ohh

okpalaAnambra:
Wao...so in actual sense an ex can't be like other normal friends?

it shouldn't be encouraged.

mhizgracie22:
"I'm better off without you", "I like the woman I'm becoming". Do these statements ring a bell? Many of us have come across quotes like this on WhatsApp, Facebook and so on. Whenever we see quotes like this, the first thing that comes to mind is that the individual who posted it, just got out of a relationship.

I find it funny that after a break up, most people try to prove that they're over their exes by posting motivational quotes like the ones above or memes aimed at making their exes feel uncomfortable. For example, a girl who just got out of a relationship with a stingy guy may constantly post memes condemning stingy guys on her WhatsApp status, hoping her ex will see it and feel bad. Or a girl who just got out of a relationship with a guy who constantly ignored her, may start posting motivational quotes like "Don't force yourself on anybody", "don't settle for less", "don't stay where you are not wanted" etc immediately after the breakup.

If you really want to give your ex the impression that you're over them, posting memes and motivational quotes is not the way. The best way to do that is to act like nothing happened, and that should also reflect in what you post on your WhatsApp status or anywhere else. Post normal stuff, don't post anything relating to breakups or relationships. When you constantly post motivational quotes after a breakup, it gives your ex the impression that you're still thinking about them and that you're still hurt. But when you act like nothing happened, it makes your ex wonder if they ever meant anything to you (I'm talking from experience).

You should also avoid making your ex feel that you hate them, scientists say that our pupils dilate when we see someone we love or someone we hate, so when you hate someone, they still have an effect on you physically, mentally and emotionally. It's better for your ex to think that you've forgotten about them than to think that you hate them. I've actually met a guy who was satisfied with the fact that his ex girlfriend still hated him, he said her hatred was proof that she was not over him yet. They later got back together but the bottom line is that when you harbour hatred for an ex, it means you're not over them completely.

You may never want to get back together with them, but they still have a strong effect on you and your mood, so try as much as possible to forget, not hate. Some people might hurt you so much that you can't even control your hatred for them, take all the time you need to heal from the pain, but don't make it obvious to them that you hate them, you don't have to put on a fake smile when you see them, just be civil, avoid sounding angry or bitter. *This is just my opinion, not a fact, do whatever you think is best for you*

Note: you should only do all this if you want to give your ex the impression that you've moved on, if you want to hash out the problems between you and your ex, there is no need to act like you don't care about them anymore but play it cool so you don't seem desperate. Also, if the issue that resulted in the breakup is a very serious one, it's better to discuss it and iron it out than to act like nothing happened.

I remember her in my prayers sometimes . Because she never wish to break up with me. NYSC and distance cause it. It shall be well with CHRIST Anywhere you are right na.

Statements like :ladies know your worth:

Which worth pls, how much deh your acct pls??

TripA:
i wish my ex can see this I broke up mutually with a girl last year ....we were crazy about each other but shit started going bad at home I was in a financial mess ..I couldn't balance school Hussle and the babe one had to go I was explaining all this at that was when she was bringing marriage after school I was like hold up babe I'm young and I told her we could be friends ...she no hear I just went off .it hurt me a lot but when I pulled the trigger omo na epistile everyday on top WhatsApp I can't block her that her way of getting over it at one point I was considering asking her back my guys advised against it ....till she stopped and boom matter enter status ...till she hit me up on my birthday was cool till she satrted again last Las na block she block me....an tempted to call just to ask how far cause I see her as a good friend

Don't be silly. If you like her call her. Don't miss a good girl thats into you because of forming o...

Klass99:
But the speed with which you married wifey after you guys broke up, would make her think, wifey had been in the picture all along.

I'm curious though, what was the deciding factor for you in marrying your wife? As in, what made you decide this was the one, over your ex and all others?

You don't have to answer, but I would appreciate it if you did. Cos, I'm trying to understand how you men date one lady for a long time, then in the event of a breakup, you marry another lady in less than a year of dating her.

Is the second woman, whom you end up marrying usually a rebound for you guys? Like Wizywiz said in his post he married a woman he didn't love as much as he loved his ex.

I'll try in my best possible way to answer your question as to why I speedily married my current wify. .

When I broke up with my ex or should I say when my ex broke up with me, I was deeply hurt because I truly loved her and I decided to sleep with as many girls as possible from that April till something around August

I met wify that same August and the impression she gave me was unimaginable. I actually met her on Facebook and wanted to chop as usual but her maturity and how she changed me is what I can't still explain. I actually saw the woman of my dream and I didn't waste time to propose by December and we got married around April amidst the corona lockdown and I've been happy ever since.

I hope I answered your question? Don't mind my English biko

na people wey still dey keep their exes contacts on their phone this advice dey for.


no time.








this OP is wonderful. good one, bro.

Klass99:
Wizy, I'm a girl not a bro

"Klass99", name sends emotions...

hmmm, Word!

So people still dating talk more of having ex? and I am thinking only about how to make money like Dangote. � �

.

Wizywiz:
Same thing i always, ignore and overlook..no calls no chats infact i delete everything about my ex ....i was surprise to see her call earlier this year..after 5 years telling me she wish me unfruitful marriage with my wife..that i wil never enjoy any woman except her that she loved me so much that i will come back to her that she is d only one made for me...imagine after 5 years...i taught she would hav been married by now..because of the way she carries herself then...i never altered a word while she was ranting..i only allowed her finish .then i replied thank you..takia...put off the call and blocked d number again...why hasnt she gotten over me?

NEVER READ YOUR EX’s STATUS ON WHATSAPP- to achieve this, delete her number from your contact list- but do not block the number.

Then set your privacy settings so that anyone outside your contact list should NOT be able to view your status - you won’t see hers either



so when she leaves all that useless status messages targeting you, you can’t see it and she will know you didn’t see it- it kills them

Never been said better.. True words op�

Klass99:
Okay cool, the glimpse into a man's mind is educating. Patience on whose part though? The man or the woman? Pls clarify.

Patience is not gender specific, it requires both partners to exercise it.
But in the concept of wizywiz's comment was trying to address,the lady has to be patient.
There is a misconception that a number of ladies do have: many believe that if you don't put pressure on a guy, he won't rush to do the needful. To achieve that, some employ drama, anger, put the guy under competition with another guy, among many other things. That concept is wrong and not helping.

Permit me to go personal on this.

After a long break from relationship, I met and shortly later, started dating my ex in December 2018, the year I graduated from the university. That time, she was about to write her final exam. We both studied medical courses and we were both in our late 20s but I was slightly older.
In all honesty, she was many things I ever wanted in a woman but her impatience, anger and drama robbed us of a togetherness. Cos I had no intention leaving her for anyone else.

she was caring and loving. That i appreciated however, it wasn't enough.
Not enough because she already had a time table which she was hellbent on following. She wanted to do introduction in September 2019, and got married in December that same year.
Why this plan? Because she was competing with her friends and not considering my development in her timetable, then she aimed to blackmail me emotionally into accepting her terms.

I had had plans to carry out which didnt include getting married till 6years after graduation. But I reconsidered and selflesssly appeal to her to let's make it 3years after graduation. She refused. In fact, she angrily told me it was over between us 8 times in three months of dating and I would even apologise. The 8th time, I decided not to apologise. But we made up and I warned her to let that be the last time cos I would take it up if she tried that again.

The ninth time, she was practically forcing me to go see her mother according to the next move on her timetable, which I declined. She angrily slapped me, told me it was over, and pushed me out of her room.
I was embarrased and I told myself that was the end of it. She begged like heaven would fall days after. But I maintained my ground. Never again.
Till today, she still thought i would still come begging, even after she sent me messages which read she had dated another after me and was far from what I used to condone.
Trust me, if she had been reasonable and realistic with her plans, I wouldn't let her down years after. For I do unto people what I will expect them to do unto me.


The present babe's an embodiment of peace of mind and patience. I didnt even know my future wife was my friend since all this while.

Sorry my response was long.

I normal shun any WhatsApp status from my ex. I have a strong heart.

okpalaAnambra:
Lol..I get your point bro, nice write up

My problem is this, I saw a chat of my girlfriend serially cheating with a particular dude, not once or twice , she confessed to doing that..and I have broken up with her which she accepted if that would make me happy,.. because she asked if we can't make it up, I blatantly said , no..Now she keeps chatting me up about her activities, I don't just want to keep chatting with her and wouldn't want to see her as an enemy, how can I then solve this??

I can relate to your situation my brother.
It's not out of place to catch partners cheating and they will promise to change for the better. Some do promise to change, but in truth many don't.
So you are not being selfish for ending things up with her. But to not judge her wrongly, she might have been genuinely turned a new leaf.

But if had evaluted the situation and truly wanted her leave, you would have to be decisive on that.
By making a stand, you are encouraging a win-win result. You are not selfishly wasting her time by making her feel loved where none was present anymore and also being selfess to yourself by valuing your integrity, mental health and avoiding hindrance to your next relationship.

If it need you to block her line. You may have to.
Or better still, ignore her messages.

Many women turn to motivational speaker after break up

Klass99:
Oh yes, you did. But your story just got more interesting o!

Please come back and answer one more question. How did she change you? What are the things she did to make you change? Apart from her maturity, I mean.

I know you said you can't explain how she changed you but pls try, because I have often heard that you cannot change a human being. Only a person can change his or herself (I kinda believe that) but I also believe people can can be a good influence on us, to cause us to change.

And really it's a Friday I have nothing better to do than interact with folks like you online and learn a thing or two, so pls indulge me.

I felt touched that you're interested in my story, so I'll try my best to explain how she changed me.

First thing she did that won me over when she came into my life was show me how real and natural she is. She doesn't know how to pretend even if she tries to, and her real self was awesome without pretense. She's asthmatic and didn't hesitate to tell me about her condition. She was open to new ideas and made it a point of duty to make sure that I become better. Though we don't have much now because we're both private school teachers, but the encouragement she's giving me makes me so eager to push myself harder and become a better person once this lockdown is over. I just can't exhaust how she makes me feel. I don't even remember any of my ex again because she made me realise that once the right person comes then every other becomes a waste of time.

And most importantly, she and my mum are best of friends. My mum sees through people and is a better judge of character. And as long as my mum loves her then she's everything a man will ever dream of.

I hope I cured your curiosity though?

So true, if you have really moved on then there is no need making reference to them in every post that you make on social media.

Nice writeup @OP, but it is not actually easy to get over an ex u love, even me av not gotten my 1 year ex,but I don't disturb her at all,I just deleted her number and pictures, but Still wat we shared is still Fresh in my head, I just pray I get over her one day sha

Shormiey:
I pick your drift bro.....

That thing no be "drill" again?

OP is damn right. My EX must be wondering if I ever loved her coz I just moved on, not easy though. Well, she mentioned it so many times that if it happened we later broke up (putting some things into consideration), I should move on & live happily.


The truth is that I loved her but that does not warrant trading my happiness. We must learn to move on.

Gordieshegz:
I can relate to your situation my brother.
It's not out of place to catch partners cheating and they will promise to change for the better. Some do promise to change, but in truth many don't.
So you are not being selfish for ending things up with her. But to not judge her wrongly, she might have been genuinely turned a new leaf.

But if had evaluted the situation and truly wanted her leave, you would have to be decisive on that.
By making a stand, you are encouraging a win-win result. You are not selfishly wasting her time by making her feel loved where none was present anymore and also being selfess to yourself by valuing your integrity, mental health and avoiding hindrance to your next relationship.

If it need you to block her line. You may have to.
Or better still, ignore her messages.

Ok...let me put it this way, she was double dating and giving the other guy the full benefits, if u get what I mean...see how I found out:
She started disrespecting me and turning down any of my moves to her...so I had to check her WhatsApp one early morning and found out she has been serially having coitus with the guy,.I didnt confront her, her phone left a trace of the deleted messages I screenshot..

So I'm not even asking what to do, lol...I have broken up with her with total respect but this gal keeps chatting up, I think I may have to just ignore her completely

ehinmowo:
That thing no be "drill" again?

What?

okpalaAnambra:
Ok...let me put it this way, she was double dating and giving the other guy the full benefits, if u get what I mean...see how I found out:
She started disrespecting me and turning down any of my moves to her...so I had to check her WhatsApp one early morning and found out she has been serially having coitus with the guy,.I didnt confront her, her phone left a trace of the deleted messages I screenshot..

So I'm not even asking what to do, lol...I have broken up with her with total respect but this gal keeps chatting up, I think I may have to just ignore her completely

That will be better bro.
No one deserves a cheating partner

Wizywiz:
Same thing i always, ignore and overlook..no calls no chats infact i delete everything about my ex ....i was surprise to see her call earlier this year..after 5 years telling me she wish me unfruitful marriage with my wife..that i wil never enjoy any woman except her that she loved me so much that i will come back to her that she is d only one made for me...imagine after 5 years...i taught she would hav been married by now..because of the way she carries herself then...i never altered a word while she was ranting..i only allowed her finish .then i replied thank you..takia...put off the call and blocked d number again...why hasnt she gotten over me?

Maybe your game was tight. But are you married now?
Just pray for her.