₦airaland Forum

byvan03:
Exactly, respect means different things to different men. I actually carried out a live experiment to determine this.

Then pls, don't keep your findings to yourself. Tell us in summary what different men see as respect from their women.

What does it mean for you to be respected by your woman?
We should all learn.

GodnGold:
Postman abiakwa ozo ooooo!!!

What have I done now!!!

Audray:
*sigh*Why do you have to be such a pest? "newest female mercenary on the block "my a**

I think you're the pest here. What are you doing on this thread?

It was written by a man against women as a counter. Not against epicene fellows to which you belong.

Your inability to locate your kind to which you share affinity makes you the real pest and the true busy body.

firstEVA:
There is always a lot to learn from your posts, beautiful. it will take an evil man to still not treat his wife right when she loves her husband the way uve enumerated.

I'll break the bank
I'll risk the sack
I'll tell you that which
Has made me a wretch

I've missed you



#Don'tReply

redwriter:
My parents keep disturbing about church,bible,evening service,evangelism. It has got to the point that I'm stressed out,angry and depressed.
I want the right to choose whether to go to church.or not or chillax at home on a sunday if I want to.
I want the right to make my choices. But they treat like a child going as far as calling me to the family room twice today to warn me!
I don't want to go to church sometimes! Yes,I've said it. I believe in prayer and I also believe in hardwork and growing steadily. One way my family use religion to bully me is to quote testimonies of people getting miracle jobs in oil companies,people flying abroad and girls getting married. So my lowly job in a school is not a 'real job' and its beneath me.
Me,I hear about the miracle jobs and I wish them well but not everybody will work in oil companies. They seem to be really unrealistic in their thinking and expectations.
I guess religion does that to you.
I am tired. Everyday,I pray to be able to get my own place and leave. I will rather soak garri in my one room in peace than eat chicken where there is no joy.

You're right in choosing what you think is best for you. But why would you rather sit at home on a Sunday morning instead giving your MAKER that time to praise and thank HIM for a week just gone by and seek HIS blessing for the new week.

GOD doesn't joke when HIS children come together to fellowship, HE holds it dear. Try to be in church every Sunday except for reasons beyond your control.

Parents can appear overbearing at times and they may seem to push one above the limit, but in all that, there's always some truth in what they say.

You may want to give your spiritual life a second look, you may just be slacking off or hesitating in giving GOD more than you are currently giving. And this could be what your parents noticed.

Also, you maybe having a lower ambition for yourself than you are cut out for. If you give GOD more of your time in prayer and fellowship, you will know just what HIS plans for you are. And not even your parents can refute that.

Well, no one is perfect. Christianity is a tall and long walk. You'll get there I hope. Just draw a little closer to HIM.

bukatyne:
1. I agree wives should respect their husbands however experiences has taught me respect means different things to different people. And yes, you come across as a misogynist but again, that's my opinion not necessarily the truth.

2. We are saying same thing in different words. Why do I have to wait till I want something before I prepare his best food (if he has one)?.

Your number 2 is a die-for. But your number 1 seems to have its tail clipped on some controversy.

Generally, men have a universal concept of respect. It can be roughly, or vaguely summarised in the 3 factors cited above.

Maybe you've tried it out and it didn't yield much. Maybe something else was missing. In most cases, it's the chief of factors-- Love!

If a relationship or marriage has no real love as its foundation, other factors, including the 3 cited above, have very limited chance to create a lasting positive impact.

Why? Must women who see me as misogynistic happen to be feminists or feminist apologists.

PresVA:
I agree with you, esp No 1... Men love respect a lot. .. Even though me and my husband live like siblings, I don't cross my boundary. . I don't take his meekness for granted, I still make him feel like yeah he's the head..

Generally, I would do anything to make my husband happy because he deserves it and a lot more....

I can only say CONGRATULATIONS!!! You definitely are a rare breed, a horse with a different colour. Be blessed and enjoy your marriage!

Audray:
And...you must be the umpire. Did i mention your name here? Busy body.

You must no doubt feel like the newest female mercenary on the block, as you spray your bullets indiscriminately. Be careful, I have little tolerance for rude women.

bukatyne:
Nice writeup and I agree fully with points 2 & 3.

As for 1, not clear going by your previous posts.

I also do not understand the need to restrict 'special' meals till a wife needs something from her husband or wants to discuss with him.

I see it as an insult ..... Saying the husband is not worthy of the special meal on a 'normal' day however, I understand it works well for some folks.

Good morning! I was overcome by sleep that I could only read your post but couldn't reply until now.

@ first bolded sentence. I perceive I must have come across to you as a chauvinist of some sort, if not an outright misogynist, no thanks to my previous posts. But I'll be grateful if you highlight what areas in number 1 you aren't so clear about.

@ the second bolded sentence, I actually was saying that a wife could serve her husband his favourite meals without him having to make the request. Such gestures show she knows her husband so well and pleasing him is her top priority.

Audray:
.Oh puh-lease! Havent you got something better to hit at than my name and hair? Your first paragraph describes you perfectly well. Why not confute my points with "more sensible " ones since you are so "intelligent" Huh?. You keep whining"you are late!" "you are late!" like a darn four year old. Hell! I am late how? Late for"tide swinging?" pft. The point of my comment was to get you to see it which you have and are obviously so pained that using verbose insults makes you feel better. I stick to my earlier comments.
PS: My hair is "on" not "in" my head.
These nails on my fingers?...pretty sure they are mine.
See! You are not so perfect after all lezzlie...

OK. You've made your point. A good round of applause.
We call it a day now.

Except you acknowledge him as King and treat him accordingly, you're by no means his Queen --Postmann


The difference between a man and a woman runs deeper than just their physical make up and appearance. There're psychological and physiological divide that makes each sex completely distinct and unique. So much so that each expresses and reacts to certain gestures, moods, emotions, desires, and situations differently from the other.

On the individual level, most men and women have not invested enough time to study and understand these differences. Consequently, it has resulted in the miscarriage of good motives and gestures when conveyed across gender.
There is no other stage where this is more obvious than the marital front.

For instance, men generally handle stress by not focusing on the stress. They'd rather not talk about it, but prefere to deal with it by watching TV or reading a newspaper. Women on the other hand, handle stress by talking about it. So, the wife may adjudge her husband's male strategy of dealing with stress as "emotionally unavailable" while the husband may see his wife as nagging when she wants them to talk over some issues. The examples are endless.

So how does a wife convey her love to her husband, manoeuvring through the great male-female chasm, without getting misunderstood? How does she speak and act love in a language her husband understands? Remember, a wife's action to show love can be different from what her husband needs to feel loved.

Let's consider 3 factors:

RESPECT: Acknowledge him for who he is. He is your husband and that translates to mean he is your KING! One who sits above your pastor/pope, or boss and yes, your dad (Num 30:6-15).
Except you acknowledge him as King, you are by no means his Queen. Let him lead, and trust his judgment most times and you'll be part of his decision making.

He appreciates it when you seek his opinion and advice on even the little things that pertains you. Be they work-related, health or finance. Again, what a wife may intend as respect in her actions and what a husband needs to feel respected can be two different things.

APPRECIATION: There's nothing that saps out the drive, enthusiasm, and self-belief of a good husband than an under-appreciating wife. A man is hardwired to be a provider for his family. And he gets a lot of fulfillment from doing that and getting his wife's appreciation. A wife who makes him feel inadequate as a provider with constant complaints can make a good, hardworking man grow timid, unmotivated and drained-out.

But sincere, well timed praises for his good works, gestures and sensitivity can boost his ego and make him more successful with greater zeal to please his wife.
Serving him his favourite meal without his asking makes him know how lucky he was when he put that ring on your finger.


Sex is a responsibility


SURRENDER: The sex life of some married couples is nothing close to a hot romantic scene from your favourite soap opera. For some reasons a lot of women lose their sex drive in marriage. This is dangerous!!!

Now, we understand the road to getting women aroused is quite different to that of men. Women need lots of romance, communication, non-sexual touches, cuddling and all that to get aroused, but men can get aroused simply out of nowhere, just straight out of the blue! And he may reach out for his wife in an odd, not-in-the-mood hour.

But let's try to define sex: It's an act of union in intimacy; it is the fusion of two bodies, minds, hearts and souls as they become one in beatitude. It is simply love blossomed. But sex is a RESPONSIBILITY!!! (1cor 7:3-5)

That's the main point, it's a responsibility. Except for illness and some unbearable situation, a wife should endeavour to feed her husband's coital appetite as much as she possibly can.

A husband perceives his wife's regular sexual refusal as an act of rejection, a judgment against his attractiveness . He simply believes his wife doesn't love him. And a sexually starved man is an unfulfilled and frustrated man and can be up for grabs by just any lady that looks good enough to warm his bed.

If a wife gives in only when she's in the mood, then she runs a great risk of leaving her husband sexually unsatisfied most times of his life. A husband feels loved when his wife seldom turns his sexual advances down. Rather than turning him down, take his hands and walk him down the road to your arousal. That's not asking too much.

And you can go a step further to be the reality of his fantasy!!! He appreciates it when you initiate the act at times.
Waking him up from the deep, in the middle of the night with the heat of your passionate desire makes him feel desired like he's still that cute guy you fell for some years back.


N.B This is only a cursory illustration of how a wife can love her husband in a way he understands. It is by no means a scientific delineation on the subject matter.

Persephenee:
Till the 7th,couldnt wait...She'll be back!

Ok. Not so long. Was going to ask how long, but there you are.

Myopic, feminism, unrealistic.

He is a man, you're a woman
He has a probing pole
You have a gaping hole
Your lips are parted
Your labia are brushed aside
As he makes his way down into your fountain

You remain open while you receive him
He sank deep, deep into your abyss
Where your hands can never wander
He plants his seed deep within
He walks away, leaving no scar or trace on himself
But you carry the burden
It's a man world, he's a stud
You're a woman, and a hoe if you walk his path.

Quit the foolish comparison.

Persephenee:
Yes dear

Ok. I figured this is the new you and that the old one got the axe over some b-stuff.


Kpele.

DemiGoddess:
Ok...I rarely see you around here lately...what's up?

I've been a tad busier than before. But I'm running into a less busier week.
I'll be more active I hope.