₦airaland Forum

DemiGoddess:
Was trying to correct the rapscallion's definition of 'maturity' and he called a 'hoodrat' and said some other obscene things. Imagine such impudence from an ordinary keyboard badass!

Let it slide. I think the class divide is vivid enough.

DemiGoddess:
Maturity? Your papa must be proud.You are a yellow-livered strutting popinjay trying to form badass on NL.You need to change company 'cause if that's your definition of maturity,the few population of respectable NL females wont want to be mature by your standards.Calling me a hoodrat? Mehn I havent laughed harder.Good Morning! and it is 'section' Mr Mature Guy!

I've never seen you this red-hot before! What exactly ignited the flames of your wrath?

Creamish:
u are one of the few gifted men going by the responses on the thread.. No one considered the hormonal changes as a reason.

Make I treat myself to some small laugh.
Heart warming compliment coming from someone like you....

Thank you!

Creamish:
Exactly.. well except the child was born out of wedlock.. otherwise, give her sometime. Its a recovery process for her. U shuld never try to replace communication with psychology or assumptions. Say it as it is...datz how u address issues.

Lots of men don't actually know this. They're ignorant of the changes that take place in a woman after child delivery.

BiafraBushBoy:
Whack thinking....

It is your type that are either Single or Very Loyal and Shy outside this NL!!!

Ask me why??

Nairaland is like your Inception!!

You don't wish to wake up from the fantasy you have created here!!

You have spent more time here than even the onwer of this site!!

Face the real world and know that your Opinion in this matter is WHACK!!

Hmmmm! That was some hot, dirty slap across the face of some dumb woman.

@OP,

From your post you said you've been married for a year and blessed with a beautiful daughter...

Should I take that to mean that your wife is just 3 months into her postnatal?

If that's the the case, you'll need to give her some little more time. It's normal for her to be less responsive to your sexual advances.

You can quicken the process of her sexual recovery by being extra romantic. You should know what used to turn her on before her child birth and work towards that line. Little non-sexual kisses, hugs and touches do great magic overtime. Also do a complete boxers and singlet/t-shirt overhaul. This will definitely catch her attention at her vulnerable moment. Hopefully she'll start having thoughts of intimacy about you.

cionon:
I am christain. I wasn't discussing marital issues with her. I was trying to conceive then. So I met her for advice on her she conceived her after 5years of marriage. That's how it went. He is really serious with the divorce. I don't want the divorce. I have begged him for another chance to change where I wronged him. But he has bluntly refused.

Forgive my misconception.
Since you're christian you'd be familiar with what I'll have to say.

It's a battle of the knees. Men may cheat, but are less likely to leave home over a mistress. Most women who are intentionally home breakers can be diabolic.

I'm not saying that this is your case but you'll need prayers.
If you are involved in a church, seek a prayer group and let them join hands with you.

I'll also advice you keep yourself sexually pure through out this travail, so that when it's all over, there would have been no stain of regret and guilt niggling over your conscience.

Good luck!

@OP,
Your msg isn't so detailed but I should point out that you probably were wrong to have discussed your husband and marital issues with your neighbour and kept the so called advice to yourself until the day you had a misunderstanding with your husband.

Naturally, he would wonder if there's more you've kept away from him. That's coupled with the fact that you just gave him a crude shock that you discussed him with your neighbour.

This is not to excuse his unfaithfulness.

What's your creed? Muslim? Christian? I'd advice you pray seriously. Divorce is no joke.

lolaed:
Are you the ex governor's ex wife?I heard That's the person who wrote the piece.

A simple apology would have made your day a tad better. It would have lifted your spirit a little higher. You would have been a better neighbour with a better sense of humour.

Toks2008:
It is no longer news that tradition is the opium of the people and no one is contending that.

But when it comes to marriage,while some believe that without paying of bride price,the man can not be said to be married to a lady and some believe that without the white wedding,a marriage can not be said to have received GOD's blessings.

Well i'm not here to discus on that aspect of marriage and i had to drop this quick one as a result of the mentioned i got on a thread relating to this.

[size=13pt]I am not sorry to write this...

Any married lady who never had a legal wedding otherwise called Court or registry wedding is as good as single.Quote me anywhere in the world.[/size]

And this is very true for some reasons but i will mention a few.

1. He can not just wake up one day and say he does not like your face again and send you out of your matrimonial home.
2. He dares not marry another wife except he divorces you
3. He must have a valid reason for divorcing you and must be able to convince the court.
4. You have protection under the law for yourself and your child(ren) in case he dies

I can continue to list several other reasons but let me just stop here.If you like, say you trust your husband,he loves you,he can never treat you bad..O.Y.O lo wa.

If you like let the man spend 1billion on your traditional wedding and do a white,blue,green,indigo wedding with a trillion naira. The fact is that these two ceremonies combined with all the money spent is not as binding and constitutional as a simple court wedding with just 4 people in attendance.

Unfortunately we have seen many people getting away with bad acts despite the fact that they had a legal wedding but the reason is because the affected individual usually lets go without putting up a fight due to high cost of legal battle and no thanks to parents and family members who always preach to them that "what is yours will always stay with you" and that they should let go which i see as stories for the gods.

Ladies be wise..as an endangered specie in the cruel world of men,legal wedding was specifically created to protect more of the lady's marital right so take advantage of it or ignore at your own risk.

I will stop here.

So how many marriages has court wedding saved?
Rather we hear flimsy reasons like "irreconcilable differences", "lack of passion", "he is not always home" etc, as reasons for divorce. And now in one of the Scandinavian countries, it is been canvassed that adultery shouldn't be a determinant for filling for divorce!!! Yes, you heard right!

Fact is, man's law offers no true solution to marital problems. And no man born of a woman, who sits on a high bench of legal proceedings will ever determine if my marriage stays or fails.

EfemenaXY:
This definitely is the joke of the century.

Please get your emotions in order and stop ovulating over the simple truth embedded in my little submission.

My father, like most men of his generation met my mother a virgin like most women of her generation.
Eat that for breakfast.

lolaed:
At least credit the author

That's as original as it gets.
And for all honesty, it's only a mild prose that sits right at the bottom of my list of self written compositions.

Fairytales:
Will you still marry him knowing the following;
1. He can marry other wives with ease
2. He can kick you out at any opportunity he gets
3. You have no protection under the law in case he dies.

Pls men, instead of ruling out white wedding, you can do a small one if money is your consideration.

Matured advise.

1 & 2 are deal breakers. No woman who is worth her salt will walk into a union with a man who has made it clear that he would take routes 1 & 2 for the slightest of reasons.

Number 3 smells like a coded phrase for court marriage. A man can still hand his property to his wife in the eventuality of his death. And he doesn't need a court marriage to do that.

I have little appreciation for man's law that meddles into marriage.

It's hard to be realistic at times when one has to consider several factors (religious,moral and gender).

The patient woman is victorious, an overcomer who won a great battle that her lineage will not have a bondage of broken marriages. She deserves a crown no human is worthy to place on her head. Such an honour belongs to her MAKER. The ONE WHO has eternal life, and grants it to the humble and low of spirit.

Sometimes only the truth that this world is only a tiny fleck of eternity, can someone put up a great courage to do the impossible, crazy stuff that could be called a waste of time or dehumanising.

Morally speaking, who's to say where divorce will lead to? Someone worse more likely. If children are involved, which man will take them as his? Stepfathers who are good are uncommon, some seduce their stepdaughters. Or if the woman plans to remain single, she'll fight a life-long, steep battle she most likely won't overcome. She hardly will overcome her sexual urges. And when she does give in, it will be a cheap, dehumanising ride with her body serving as a playground for another man's sexual sport. The first marriage, most times is worth giving as many chances as possible. The other side isn't as green as one may think.

Ok, going gender bias now:

Yes, Virginity isn't a determinant that a man will be faithful to his woman.
But considering the nature of the respective sex organs of both sexes, women who have not kept their bodies for their husbands during the time they got into courtships and dating younger men , should take the backseat when talking about cheating.

The sex organ of a woman is built in such a way that it tells about her sexual journeys. For every of her sexual escapade, there is an engraved cicatrice left in her womanliness. One that she will bear visibly all her lifetime. And present to her husband as a gift of a life-time bond.

It is this fleeting reality of the truth that makes it easy for women to spread their legs easily and bring whatever is left of her remains to her husband when matrimony calls.

ziego:
Just walked into cobblers shop in calabar and saw this beautiful lady and I asked about her husband
She boldly replied that she can handle whatever I have come for that the husband just left.
I was amazed and gave her my shoe
To my surprise she did better than I expected.
I smartly took the shot so she don't catch me on act.
Now the question is how many ladies can do such a job?

I commend your intentions trying to motivate women to be hardworking, but why abuse that poor woman's privacy putting up her pic on Africa's biggest forum without her consent? You even knew she might object so you did it without her knowing.

Whatever spurred your otherwise good intention has been tainted by the evil of insensitivity and lack of respect for her.

You better blur her face with a software or go back and tell her what you did and get her permission.