₦airaland Forum

SWORD419:
it was the stupid woman that cause dat to herself, can u imagine insulting the prophet in kano so u expect em to clap for her

menwongo:
Oya laugh small jare
.
I was driving from house to GRA this morning through Rumuokwuta round about, having just finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty)
As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for calling while driving...
Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.

Policeman: (Shaking)
Ah! You carry dog?

Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?

Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable)
Na where una dey come from?

Me: From hospital.

Policeman: Ehen! you sick?

Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person almost die sef.

Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now)
Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?

Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.

Policeman: The dog know you?

Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?

Policeman: (Sweating)
This your door, how you dey open am?

Me: How you take enter?

Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open.
(The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear).

Policeman: (Now sliding forward)Oga, I take God beg you, open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect anythin from you.

Me: How much you go pay me?

Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only N1,000 dey wit me.

Me: You neva ready.
(I looked back at the dog).

Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach N2,000. The oda N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you join.
(Now, close to tears as the dog was becoming really impatient)
Oga, I be......g, Oga, sorry. Take the N2,000 make you open the door plssssssse!

Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected the N2,000 & allowed him out of the car)

Policeman: God punish you. Idiot, e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog.

menwongo:
Oya laugh small jare
.
I was driving from house to GRA this morning through Rumuokwuta round about, having just finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty)
As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for calling while driving...
Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.

Policeman: (Shaking)
Ah! You carry dog?

Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?

Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable)
Na where una dey come from?

Me: From hospital.

Policeman: Ehen! you sick?

Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person almost die sef.

Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now)
Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?

Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.

Policeman: The dog know you?

Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?

Policeman: (Sweating)
This your door, how you dey open am?

Me: How you take enter?

Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open.
(The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear).

Policeman: (Now sliding forward)Oga, I take God beg you, open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect anythin from you.

Me: How much you go pay me?

Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only N1,000 dey wit me.

Me: You neva ready.
(I looked back at the dog).

Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach N2,000. The oda N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you join.
(Now, close to tears as the dog was becoming really impatient)
Oga, I be......g, Oga, sorry. Take the N2,000 make you open the door plssssssse!

Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected the N2,000 & allowed him out of the car)

Policeman: God punish you. Idiot, e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog.

Benekruku:
Touch not my annointed


Even when he fvcks your wife and sisters, remember, "Thou shall not judge"

Hades2016:
go try am make pastor use you do the next topic for church ... " Trying to advise the pastor "

sim37:
call him to order. no one is above mistake

ZombiePUNISHER:
Yes oo my Yoruba Muslim friend
We have no choice but to do the bidding of our Fulani masters... Whether baba delivers or not.. We must vote him back...

Sai baba

Paperwhite:
A failure endorsing a mega failure.If Buhari is the only credible alternative according to this mumu governor then he is implore to employ him as the manager of any of his company when he'll be booted in 2019.Nigeria politicians funny I swear.

officialteemi:
make dem sha no channel push am come AFRICA oooo

Pearllait:
MAY GOD BLESS YOU FOR ADDING THIS TO IT. MAY HE ALSO GRANT US HIS DIVINE MERCIES, DIVINE WISDOM AND THE SPIRIT OF DISCERNMENT. LASTLY, MAY HE TEACH US HOW TO PRAY RIGHTLY AND TO SERVE HIM WITH COMPLETE DEVOTION. AMEN
HAPPY SUNDAY

osuofia2:
The dullards won't remove baru.... God pls forgive me that I supported pmb 2015

Bolustical:
Even the Muslims that most Xtians condemn as unbelievers will never condone this. It's not a crime to have a big yansh, it's sinful when you make others commit sin with it.

The church has really gone worldly in this end time, it's now the world that's teaching the church the right thing to do.

How are we Xtians better than unbelievers if we dress like they do and in some cases worse than them?

Martins301:
The police station that was burnt down is a lie.... Two police officers that were killed is a bloody lie... Biara secret service is a motherfucking bloody lie.... Kanu calling for arms is a stupendously stupid lie.... Bros they're all lies fabricated by Buhari cos he hates Igbos..

Chairman go to UN and ICC and wherever you want to tell them. They'd believe you just like I've done

Martins301:
In reality, your head is actually in your anus.... You think judgement is delivered based on rumour or unverified pictures? Anybody can swim inside erosion and pile themselves up inside Keke to pretend they're dead and snap pictures.... Some desperate fools go and gather cow blood at abattoirs and poor it on their body and floor around them just to form dead and snap pictures.... If Nollywood can do it, do you think IPOB miscreants won't go any length to paint the present government bad?

If this issue ever gets to court, the defense is going to request for the dead body to be exhumed, that is if there's any.... You guys will have to provide their autopsy report.... The bullet that killed the person will be analyzed and verified to be sure that it is from Nigeria army.... IPOB will have no evidence to support their useless claims.. but their many sins is already in public domain, calling for arms, harassing and threatening to kill innocent people, burning a police station and killing state security officer, extortion, forming a security service inside a government, and many more.

Bro IPOB no get case

ALMUSTAQIM:
OKOGIE,
SHUT UP YOUR DIRTY MOUTH
LEAVE POLITICS FOR THE POLITICIANS FACE YOUR CHURCH BUSINESS.
OUR PMB1523 IS NOT YOUR MATE.

Esji80:
Hi,I am interested.I have been suffering from toothache for over 4 years now.One was removed in 2013

Bede2u:
I keep telling pple Nnamdi kanu has been killed and buried in an unmarked grave. That was the goal of operation python dance. And declaring ipob terrorists is to cover up and divert attention. U declare ipob terrorist and dont declare kanu wanted? U say kanu is still on the run yet u already declared urself victor. This govt is as bad as sani abacha's and d worst since 1999.

Greatihex:
Even if we are to overlook the so many lies and foolishness in this press release. When did the Army take over the work of the police, to the extent of giving out emergency numbers. Kai! Nawao.

PointZerom:
Clap for your stupidity, so in less than two weeks you were able to destroy IPOB terrorists a feat US can't achieve. I thought that APC said no country can defeat terrorism. Pls can you display the WEAPONS you recovered from these terrorists let the whole world see. Chai, If you see Nigeria, tell her that I am weeping for her.

Throwback:
Britain is a sorry excuse for what a nation that values the safety of her own citizens is.

America despite their democracy, recognizes that you do not allow terrorists to use your own laws as a cover to carry out their operations.

But Britain will finally learn like France did and continues to learn till now.

ELKHALIFAISIS:
kill Mazi KANU 1 million times there will be over 1billion people at the moment anxiously waiting to step-in his shoes... [b]dismantling Biafra movement in Abia state [/b]will not stop the agitation... to them only touts are IPOB members

Realchidi:
later somebody will come and say[b] they are harmless.[/b] Hate is the fastest way to die. Don't let it consume you.

Yyeske:
Make sure you will be in New York on Tuesday, you were not in Umuahia the other day

EponOjuku:
The truth is that despite the fact that APC has performed woefully in the areas of the economy. national unity and employment generation, it would still beat any party hands down in 2019 simply for one reason: There is no true opposition in Nigeria.

Firstly, there is no opposition figure in Nigeria, secondly there is no opposition party in Nigeria.

The North delivers the highest number of votes in elections. As terrible as PMB's performance has been, there is no single candidate today in the north which can pull more votes than PMB.

Secondly, the PDP is not yet ready to play opposition politics. They are still suffering from electoral shock from their loss of the Presidency and haven't gotten their acts together. PDP would definitely win more states than they won in the last elections but for the Presidency, forget it!

APC may be a shitty party but PDP is worse than sh!t.

GavelSlam:
Na complete story.

Body parts can never generate money.

If the girl is well investigated she will reveal where she has been.

GavelSlam:
Story.

nddydamzi:
before I judge can I see the said guy that lost the preek?op did u see wia he kept the preek?

MalcoImX:
So you are not aware that some northerners have been killed by iPoB in Rivers and some are still taking refuge at security formations. Those searching for Hausas in buses, what are they going to do with them? We saw only one bus that was videotaped, how many buses were there that iPoB searched that we didn't see?

Daboomb:
"You can fool some people some times but you cant fool all the people, all the time" - Bob Marley.

keep deceiving yourselves thinking you are smart when in actual fact, you are just being DELUSIONAL and plain foolish.

maamisco:
With due respect FFK, Let me ask u a question: is Nnamdi KANU ur papa? wetin concern u? hypocrite

okerekeikpo:
If Ipob that carries broken bottles and sticks are terrorist then every Igbo is a terrorist then

januzaj:
Before operation Python dance,Ipob keyboard warriors always told how 2017 ain't 1967,telling us they had sophisticated weapons and drones.
Kanu even creatted BSS,was it sticks and stones they planned to fight Nigerian army with?
The only thing their keyboard warriors offer is blaming Yoruba for their misfortunes.