₦airaland Forum

@OP, Work towards improving ur skills. Pencilling is not moi moi...its not like painting where u have a variety of colours.
Nobadii will want to buy dat crappy sample u put up there.
I wish u Goodluck.

i like this. I sure hope it turns out into a beautiful picture. What is the genre specifically?

that guy Jeff Hiang has been known to be obsessed with photoshop, making him a pro, and even Don Cadwells aswell.

I think 'thumbs up' for actors holding guns is a good campaign sha. I've tot ofit didn't knw people are already doing it.

sholay2011: Do you know if I had these scripts on ground before and just wanted ppl's opinion and corrections? And these are 6-page scripts, not feature lengths...

It's not compulsory you comment. You can pass.Thanks.

it looks obvious you had some of the scripts on ground already.

I don't think you should react to Semid's comment that way. Oga, nor be this bros throw one of your scripts go frontpage?

people like you, people are following you, people are watching your progress, and fans support you...LEARN how to treat them.

sholay2011: You be real prof oo!!! How u take remember that name for my story entitled 'A legacy'?

Well, Ronke is ma sista's name...lol..

ooooooookay..!
keep up the goodwork.

nice write up..you can do better.

NOW. I would want to change 12:00 am into 12:00 midnight. na trivial thing sha. Look at scene 3 when ngozi said "i knew u would come back" looks like he had visited her earlier but the preceeding dialogue showed that they were actually catching up after a longtime.
okay, so you've started putting sluglines abi? good sha.

*moves closer to sholay* don't lie, don't lie your girlfriends name is ronke. yes na! you used her name for rotimi's daughter in your short drama 'A LEGACY' now as mr. kuforigi's daughter in 'GARDEN LOVE'. I dey play...i dey play.
Good work.

speedyboi is right.
"you just gave him importance!"

40M dollars! omo no be biscuit ooo..
If only one of ours can emulate the guys cinematographic techniques...just saying sha...

Oga shola, i am sorry that this is coming late. I actually downloaded the script the day you posted it but i could not read it because i had to leave home for some days to help a dear friend out of his PLIGHT.

Now that i am back home, i have read it and all i can say is "nice write up, you can do better."
I clearly understand the story, i can read your mind and i can see the vision so i know what you were thinking. (wor da fork were u thinking?)
Don't be suprised if you are not getting positive reviews, this is because there are many ways you could have written your story to make it more captivating if you had taken the TIME but lets leave it... infact na LongThing.

NOW. *Sighs*. If i were you, i would not want to use the element 'NARATOR'. I don't know about traditional nollywood, but nobody uses the element NARATOR nowadays EXCEPT when writing for a Documentary feature or any other Narative feature or for tv.

Remember you are writing what your audience will SEE and what they will HEAR, that is why every character should have a distinct voice even if it is an Animated feature.

But here we dont know the voice of your NARATOR whether he has the same voice as one of the characters you have listed in the beginning, or if it is a machine voice, a robotic voice, or the voice of MTN CustomerCare Line.

For me i would prefer to use the element 'VOICE OVER (V.O)'.

E.g LANRE (V.O): Welcome to my world.

This shows that lanre is actually the same person as the narator. Isn't it sexy?

So long as you are not trying to acheive 'suspense'-maybe u dont want your readers to immediately figure out the identity of your narator. V.O is the tool.

I know you are working for 'the best' so keep going but try doing it the way 'the best' do it.

VillageBoi: I can't wait to see 'The Evil Dead'. He's done very well considering his short film 'Panic Attack' (posted below) is what made Hollywood come calling his way. Nice!!

whose shortfilm is this? sam raimi or alvarez? @panicattack

[quote author=owo2000%]Hmmm! foolishness. Another idiotic and propaganda for violence. You folks complain of cults in your Universities, armed robbery and all unhealthy and sadistic activities.

When will you open your eyes and renew our minds to the fact that all these type of movies promotes violence subtly. As a matter of fact the Western world you copy; a good example the U.S, is making every effort to control such gun violence.

I strongly believe in the right of free speech, but Nigeria is gradually embracing an epidermic from the ghettos and alleys of certain cities in the U.S. The celebration of murder and mayhem is nothing to glory about in our movies. Nollywood needs to do a script check or else......[/quote]okay...so what type of movies do you want the Nigerian film industry to produce? because i can't see where you wrote that. If you must condemn then you must make recommendations!
A man tells a Nigerian story, shoots with veryyyyyy low budget, and posts the trailer for constructive criticisms yet the least you could do is denegrate his art work? Are you not also being violent in your approach towards another man's effort?

@villageboi...this one no be family reunion u dey do with worldnews abi..?
and this one wey oga at the top dey ask for speedy reminds me of cane and abel... : "are you your brother's keeper?"
(still on the PARANOIA mode)

hahaha....na true ooo!
the front page 'thingy' gave this beautiful work the hype it deserves.
oga, u do well for putting it in frontpage ooo.

oga erico ur youtube channel is hillstv abi..make i subscribe ehnn..

i hope u hang around here more often and share ur experience and contribute to other peoples effort, u hear ehn..?
Cheers!

hahaha... sholay una don dey do in-house audition for casting abi...ehnnn,,ehnnn...

Oga Erico, so na u do the film.? U b correct oo. i loved the trailer.

sholay2011: but I must say sincerely, the way you write militates against communication. Try working on your tenses.

exactly where the conflict is. Too many grammatical errors (syntax and tenses) has marred the beauty of ur storyline. I said that in my first post.
U can get someone who to help u out though...or wait for oga sholay2011's suggestion.
fm baba, this ur story is intriguing ooo...i hope everything works out sha.

oga femi...! everybody don talk..oya show ur action.

VillageBoi: I just noticed you and I both posted at exactly 11.10am on Apr 1 so I never saw your new logline. To be honest with you, even with this new one, I still don’t get the film. Let’s work with the information you have given us from both logline ‘trials’




Understand that what I write here might be completely wrong, as I said – I don’t understand it. I think the following might be some key points.

1) Economic hitmen have caused wahala for country.
2) Presido starts up a ‘Way Forward’ initiative
3) A Human Rights Activist is a main character
4) The economic hitmen hire an assassin to take out the Presido & Activist

So a very basic logline (average 25 words) could be –

'A Human Rights Activist investigating the dire economic crisis the country is facing uncovers an elaborate plot to assassinate the President.'

From that you can get into more beefier loglines that follow a structure of - Who = Character/s. What = Story/Plot. How = How does it end.

But then again, as mentioned by others, what you really need is at least a synopsis. A logline wont really do anything for you at the moment. People would need to see a bigger picture of what your film is about as no one that has visted this thread has understood it yet.

+1

nice write up..u can do better.
i hope u are going to shoot it ooo...because i really liked it.

VillageBoi: You're right. But I think 'Nollywood' is the Alaba-market-type plus era.

thanks for the clarification. I understand now that Nollywood does not refer to the Nigerian Film Industry as a whole. Too bad.

@ OP nice one.
*me pondering* : as much as i like the concept of 'nollywood at 20' the symbolism, the reflections and the challenge brought forward I have not been able to come to terms with the fact that if 'nollywood' means 'the nigerian film industry' then it really is not 20...or is it?

@ OP nice one.
*me pondering* : as much as i like the concept of 'nollywood at 20' the symbolism, the reflections and the challenge brought forward I have not been able to come to terms with the fact that if 'nollywood' means 'the nigerian film industry' then it really is not 20...or is it?

Fm007: logline: ON THE VERGE TO SAVE THE COUNTRY FROM ECONOMY CRISIS, THE UNKNOWN CABALS BEHIND THE PRIDICAMENT OF THE COUNTRY ECONOMY SILENCE ANYONE WILLING TO STOP THEM BY A MACHINERY THAT LATER MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO EXPOSE ALL THE HIDDEN AGENDA OF THE CABALS

someone has already told u to post the synopsis, another someone said u should restructure ur LOGLINE. Please follow their advice, it is for your benefit. even if u don't want to post the complete synopsis because of the alaba factor please RESTRUCTURE that logline, because if i was a potential buyer i wouldn't want to purchase the script seeing a poorly written logline even though the real script might be outstanding. Simple grammatical errors were also spotted in addition to what villageboi has mentioned.
GOODLUCK.

emmabuggy: I have this idea that i have been working on for some time now. Its about a program that is based on movies and acting whereby i intend to show - like two to three minutes clip of either the actor or movie that im talking about. Great actors and great movies from the past.
The thing is, will i be allowed to show a clip from any movie without permition? both local and foreing films

since u have the idea and the flow chart or game plan, take it to any media house and they"ll tell u what next. Most of them usually handle the *permission* thing, as well as soliciting for sponsorship, project research, publicity etc.
GoodLuck..!

*favourite quote*
yemisi: "i thank God i have a good job...all i need is a man"
nice one.

yvonnechi: Banks also reject torn or mutilated money with the excuse that CBN will charge them.
Ave experienced such before in Diamond Bank Lagos.

The employee who told you that was only telling a LIE. CBN charges them for every deposit made including mutilated notes, in fact they even prefer extremely mutilated notes to mildly mutilated ones. There is no extra charge for depositing mutilated notes in CBN because the CBN created the notes knowing their life span (mobile durability) and have therefore incured the cost of destruction and re-printing from day one.

repogirl: You guys take it easy na, one mans meat is another mans kpomo, We are all entitled to our opinions, for me it sucked like runny eggs for you it might have been awesome (I dont see how sha). It was quite tiring in some places.

abi ooo...
that woman no wan here say another person get another opinion. na wetin ar dey try tell am wey she say ar be shallow. me wey no knw where shallow dey leave. :-(

33117: Yeah sure dumb people with low IQ will find the movie spectacular. ℓ̊ ‎​J̲̥̅̊u̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊t̲̥̅̊ put up dat post cos U̶̲̥̅̊ claimed dat ℓ̊ wД§ blind not τ̲̅ȍ notice the "jaw dropping" action scenes and what's with all the fairy talk? Cut it out U̶̲̥̅̊ sound creepy

How many words does it take to say "jaw dropping"? Uhn..? Misunderstood me because u've dissected the movie so deep it gives u an indept knowlegde of the technical flaws that obstructs ur understanding of a simple premises. That's not what i meant anyway. Like u said, as an action movie it is technically flawwed because of errors in plot development, inciting incidence, character arch and the rest u know. But as an action movie it is traditionally appealling to 007 fanatics who choose to ignore errors (bias ad cognito). While some wouldn't just get it because of an IQ less than 65 so still enjoy their beloved 'action' movie. Now that's the other side of the coin u need to accomodate...I chose to accomodate. Creepy uh?

33117: Lol hmmmn let's see
Action scene 1: train fight(50%)
Action scene 2: shangai building fight(50%)
Action scene 3: shangai casino fight(0%)all of a sudden looked like I was watching jurassic park
Action scene 4: bond kills 4 armed men on the island(0%) UNrealistic and a clear insult on my intelligence
Action scene 5: peter and the chicken chase scene around london + court room shoot out(10%)
Action scene 6:battle @ skyfall(0%) WTF it was like watching home alone

So what spectacular action scene are you referring to when talking about this movie?hmmm I wonder

not that i don't get u, but there is another side of all these that u're choosing to ignore possibly because u're trying to air ur point which most people will not find convincing because it is based mostly on technicalties (and rightfully so), and also because movie goers are very emotional about the 007 franchise. So it baffles u why people are crazed by skyfall and cannot see what u're trying to tell them? It shouldn't because u're looking at the movie with an electron microscope screaming, "what a butterfly full of germs!". While someone else is looking at it with a simple hand lens saying, "wow..a butterfly with beautiful wings".
nuffsaid..i understand u in a conviniently inexplicable way.

33117: cos I don't want to torture my self by watchin that apology again

apology? you call an action movie like skyfall an *apology*? If you are this critical about movie reviews then permit me to remind you that movie industries buy and sell genres. Lovers of the action movie genre would have been entertained by the movie which means that it has fulfilled its primus mobilis goal. So how can it be an apology except you just don't appreciated the concept of action.