₦airaland Forum

From what I see today in Nigeria I am very certain that Muslims would not need to use a violent jihad to islamize Nigeria. CHRISTIANS themselves will be used by Muslims to islamize Nigeria. Afterwards the Muslims will turn against the Christians that helped them. These are the type Muslims call the useful idiots.
Just ask yourself how Muslim nations became Islamic nations? Is there any record of them doing evangelical work? Did they tell people about how wonderful their prophet Mohammed is? How he raped women? How he beheaded nine hundred Jews in one day? How he had sex with a nine year old girl? How he was demon possessed for one year? How he could not perform a miracle? How he is a prophet without a prophecy? How he sold slaves for weapons of war?
If MUSLIMS did not do evangelism how come there are 58 nations of the world Who say they are ISLAMIC countries? Including countries that used to be Christian countries.
They used greedy pastors and stupid Christians. The ones they call the USEFUL IDIOTS. The Bible says, when men slept.....
These same CHRISTIANS were the ones that told us the elections had nothing to do with religion.
***News flash! Buhari just registered Nigeria in the Islamic coalition against terrorism led by Saudi Arabia. The very same Saudi Arabia that is the chief sponsor of Islamic terrorism.
***Newsflash! The first major conference buhari would bring to Nigeria is the INTERNATIONAL ISLAMIC CONFERENCE . A conference that pastor vice president cannot attend. While 'clueless' GEJ was convening INTERNATIONAL ECONOMIC CONFERENCE at a time of plenty Buhari is convening ISLAMIC CONFERENCE at a time of economic crisis. Now you see where his priority lies.
***Newsflash! Muslims are now using El Rufai Kaduna as a test case to see how they can stop CHRISTIANS from preaching the gospel not even for you to listen to a gospel message in your car. Who knows they may even ban gospel music.
***Newsflash! Other northern states are copying Mr El Rufai's law.
***Newsflash! Fulani herdsmen are sacking Christian villages in the north.
***Newsflash! Ambode sealed over twenty churches in Lagos for noise pollution. Not one Allah Akbar morning yelling mosque was sealed. Ambode is supposed to be a Christian remember? What do Muslims call them again?? Something like useful....
***Newsflash! The chapel at Aso Rock has been shut down and guess who had to explain to CHRISTIANS? Yeah our very own Pastor vice president. Again another I have fact the major very useful..... Who they used to get the Christian votes.
***Newsflash! The only minister to have died under Buhari happens to be a Christian Apologist. I mean a strong defender of the gospel of Jesus. Somehow all the safety features in the car suddenly stopped working. Not one airbag deployed. Remember this is a federal minister riding in a very expensive car fitted with the best safety features. Did I also mention that the driver did not die? He was strong enough to pull out the body of the minister. Issokay.
I hear many Christians say it is impossible to islamize Nigeria. Question is, If they try it today will you pick up arms? What are you doing to make sure it does not happen?
Make No Mistake (copied). We can pray. So let us pray.

C and P .....CONFESSION OF A LADY
"I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I
shouldn't).
When I got to my fiance's place for dinner,he
seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
delightedly Darling I have a surprise for you
tonight. He then blindfolded me and led me to
my chair at the dinning table. I took a seat and
just as he was about to
remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. He
made me promise not to touch the blindfold
until
he
returned and went to answer the call. The
beans
I had consumed was still affecting me and the
pressure was becoming unbearable, so while
my
Fiance was out of the room I seized the
opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and
let
one
go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a
garbage dump! I took my napkin from my lap
and
fanned the air around me vigorously. Then,
shifting to the other leg, I ripped off three more.
The stink was worse than cooked
cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to
the
conversation in the other room,I went on
releasing atomic bombs like this for another few
minutes. The preasure was
indescribable! Eventually the telephone
farewells
signalled the end of my freedom, so I quickly
fanned the air a few more times with my
napkin,
placed it on my lap and folded my hands back
on
it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of
innocence when my fiance returned,
apologising for taking so long. He asked me if I
had peeped through the blindfold, and I assured
him I had not. At this point, he removed the
blindfold. To my utmost surprise, twelve dinner
guests including his Mum and Dad were seated
around the table, with hand holding their
noses.....If you were in her shoes, what will you
do? Laugh wan kill me ............Wishing all the applicants going for interviews this week success.

ISLAMABAD

jobyyjob:
At the end of this write up I'll need input from everyone but especially from the ladies.

I am the last child in a family of 7. My mom died when I was 8 years old. Knowing the issues with step families, my dad didn't bother to marry until we were all grown up.

Fast forward 8 years, I was 16 now. My dad married his second wife. I didn't quiet take a liking to her but we coexisted nonetheless.

Still fast forward 14 more years, I've now graduated from the University for about 4 years without a job, so I basically depend on my dad and step mom for shelter and food.

Why I'm writing this is to give a proper background so you all can understand where I'm coming from. My step mom is a dubious character - she has a very uncertain personality.

One day, we had a quarrel which didn't end well. So, while handling me my breakfast, she said "here's your food. I don't even know if I put catgher (running nose) in it." I was shocked. I was picky throughout the meal and uncomfortably left it after a while.

Since then, I have been very cautious about my food. Sometimes, when I'm eating, she seems to be a bit uncomfortable as if something wrong is going on. It happened severally and I had to ask if she was putting foreign bodies in my food. Her answer was not satisfactory. I had to ask others, confront her in front of others and generally make a fool of myself without still getting any serious answer from her.

I know I've made a fool of myself. Many people around my area who here the episode quickly tell others and before long, people start looking at you strangely. Some start feeling sorry for me for having eaten saliva or whatever. Some girls that heard the story start avoiding me. The funny thing is that I'm not even sure it's what happened and from all indications, it didn't happen.

I've made a nasty reputation as someone who has injested foreign saliva whatever into his body. Not that it's harmful or causes diseases. No. But, I still feel a kind of stigma from people who know about this.

What do I do about this stupid problem. Please, any reasonable responses will be appreciated.

Hi op,don't bother about ppu avoiding you.That's their problem. Work on yourself and I think @ ur age you should be able to prepare ur own food and stop depending on ur step mum. Also be prayerful and in particular ur prayer point should be against spirit of HATRED placed on you.Finally,go out there and look for job even if the salary is meagre. Sitting @ home would further worsen matter and depreciates ur worth.

HAVE U WaTCHED "KUNFU" by Crazeclown................wao dat guy knows how to make CRONIC SADIST laugh and piss for body

In ds part of d world we called tht hairdo "Suku"
dats way too femine

Buhari: I like guitar more than human being,u can grab them by d neck and make them scream without pressing charges and abuse you like Nigerians....We want Change not Chain

HighIQ:
ILE IFE is the ugliest and worst city I have ever been to. The road are narrow and horrible.It is a gov abandoned area. No wonder Aregbesola lost completely in the last election in IFE REGION. The town is dirty and ugly. Laziness is common. Imagine people opening shop at 12pm. Their tailor, electrician, coblers and any artisan may dissapoint you. Infact there is nothing beautiful and nice about this town. The only glory and great thing it has is the prestigious university in it OBAFEMI AWOLOWO UNIVERSITY. GREAT IFE!!!

You're 97% correct...........

tosyne2much:
OP, you are so on point.. Lemme add my own to the list


9. Tight Kitty-Cat


I can't but smh each time I see saying they can't date a lady whose kitty-cat is loose.. All I know is that it's not kitty-cat that defines a lady.. Whether it's as wide as Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, it doesn't matter.. A lady might have a tight kitty-cat and won't make a good wife while a lady might have a loose kitty-cat and will make a good wife


10. Walking Steps

Just because a lady can cat-walk like Beyonce, some guys go wan die on top her neck.. All I know is that it doesn't matter how a lady walks, whether she walks sideways like a crab, or she walks slowly like a tortoise; all that matter is true love

crab,millipede? guy u get corosive mouthu!

Before I pass my judgement on this lesser-than-beast half man,don't tell me d woman in question did nothing dat made d craziness hibernating inside dt lunatic of a doctor to go gaga.....u of all ppu knw women and their unbridle tongues? So I wud suggest dat dz guy is disrobe of anything he stand for cos he lack self-control cum self esteem..... Pele Theresa! see where ur mouth had landed ur cranium..... before u reply anybody examine them very well to knw if they are mentally okay.
my opinion

Before I pass my judgement on this lesser-than-beast half man,don't tell me d woman in question did nothing dat made d craziness hibernating inside dt lunatic of a doctor to go gaga.....u of all ppu knw women and their unbridle tongues? So I wud suggest dat dz guy is disrobe of anything he stand for cos he lack self-control cum self esteem..... Pele Theresa! see where ur mouth had landed ur cranium..... before u reply anybody examine them very well to knw if they are mentally okay.

foriz4u:
anyone his/her ex don't desire n want back it means dat person don't deserve to have a partner because h/s was neva gud n will never b gud to any body upfront.

Plain truth.......my ex called me everytime she needs advice concerning an issue.....Life is too short to developed hatred for ur ex...

Listen son..............THE BONELESSNESS OF A JOYSTICK DOES NOT RENDER IT USELESS ON THE DAY OF A BATTLE.

charix:
Unlike the other thread I found useful, this one I didn't.
Google is now a dictionary so all one needs to do is read books, articles, post on discussion forums and journals to boost vocabulary then check google from time to time to ensure words are placed in their right context.
I can beat my chest and say to the high heavens I've never made any of the mistakes listed here.

CHEST-BEATER,EASY OOOOOO........................

Akosxxx:
Straight to the point.

1. ACCEPT vs. EXCEPT
These two words sound similar but have very different meanings. Accept means to receive something willingly: “His mom accepted his explanation” or “She accepted the gift graciously.” Except signifies exclusion: “I can attend every meeting except the one next week.” To help you remember, note that both except
and exclusion begin with ex .


2. AFFECT VS EFFECT

To make these words even more confusing than they already are, both can be used as either a noun or a verb. Let’s start with the verbs. Affect means to influence something or someone; effect
means to accomplish something. “Your job was
affected by the organizational restructuring” but “These changes will be effected on Monday.” As a noun, an effect is the result of something: “The sunny weather had a huge e ffect on sales.” It’s almost always the right choice because the noun
affect refers to an emotional state and is rarely used outside of psychological circles: “The patient’s affect was flat.”


3. LIE vs. LAY

We’re all pretty clear on the lie that means an untruth. It’s the other usage that trips us up. Lie
also means to recline: “Why don’t you lie down and rest?” Lay requires an object: “ Lay the book on the table.” Lie is something you can do by yourself, but you need an object to lay . It’s more confusing in the past tense. The past tense of lie is—you guessed it— lay : “I lay down for an hour last night.” And the past tense of lay is laid: “I laid the book on the table.”


4. BRING vs. TAKE

Bring and take both describe transporting something or someone from one place to another, but the correct usage depends on the speaker’s point of view. Somebody brings
something to you, but you take it to somewhere else: “ Bring me the mail, then take your shoes to your room.” Just remember, if the movement is toward you, use bring; if the movement is away from you, use take.


5. IRONIC vs. COINCIDENTAL


A lot of people get this wrong. If you break your leg the day before a ski trip, that’s not ironic —it’s coincidental (and bad luck). Ironic has several meanings, all of which include some type of reversal of what was expected. Verbal irony is when a person says one thing but clearly means another. Situational irony is when a result is the opposite of what was expected. O. Henry was a master of situational irony. In his famous short story The Gift of the Magi , Jim sells his watch to buy combs for his wife’s hair, and she sells her hair to buy a chain for Jim’s watch. Each character sold something precious to buy a gift for the other, but those gifts were intended for what the other person sold. That is true irony. If you break your leg the day before a ski trip, that’s coincidental. If you drive up to the mountains to ski, and there was more snow back at your house, that’s ironic.


6. IMPLY vs. INFER


To imply means to suggest something without saying it outright. To infer means to draw a conclusion from what someone else implies. As a general rule, the speaker/writer implies, and the listener/reader infers.


7. NAUSEOUS vs. NAUSEATED


Nauseous has been misused so often that the incorrect usage is accepted in some circles. Still, it’s important to note the difference. Nauseous means causing nausea; nauseated means experiencing nausea. So, if your circle includes ultra-particular grammar sticklers, never say “I’m
nauseous ” unless you want them to be snickering behind your back.


8. COMPRISE vs. COMPOSE


These are two of the most commonly misused words in the English language. Comprise means to include; compose means to make up. It all comes down to parts versus the whole. When you use
comprise , you put the whole first: “A soccer game comprises (includes) two halves.” When you use compose, you put the pieces first: “Fifty states compose (make up) the United States of America.”


9.FARTHER vs. FURTHER


Farther refers to physical distance, while further describes the degree or extent of an action or situation. “I can’t run any farther ,” but “I have nothing further to say.” If you can substitute “more” or “additional,” use further.


10.FEWER vs. LESS


Use fewer when you’re referring to separate items that can be counted; use less when referring to a whole: “You have fewer dollars, but
less money.”
Bringing it all together


English grammar can be tricky, and, a lot of times, the words that sound right are actually wrong. With words such as those listed above , you just have to memorize the rules so that when you are about to use them, you’ll catch yourself in the act and know for certain that you’ve written or said the right one.

Anytime somebody posted something sensible I always do two things,I will luk @ the name and d signature of dat person juz to b double-sure.......kudos to u O.P

Integrityfarms:
If Jesus was preaching the way some so called Gospel Ministers preach today, am telling you that the Jews wouldn't have crucified him. Especially churches preaching about love, prosperity and breakthrough like going abroad without applying for visa, possessing a car without buying it etc all in the name of faith and miracles!

Tell them bro,let me add this to ur contribution that 99.97% of our so called Daddy G.O's are SHEEP-EATERS and not a SHEEP-KEEPERS they claimed to be. Jesus is seriously weeping over all ds end-time swindlers...............
Amen sombori?

If Nigerian Mechanics were Medical Doctors.... – A mechanic will remove your hand and replace it will white girl’s hand and say “o ma sise (it will work, its stronger)”. – If you stay too long in the hospital, they will sell your eyes and claim you came eyeless. – My mechanic would have done an operation and forgotten to return the heart. – He would remove a kidney and claim its not important and useless in your system. – When you’re down, they’ll give you 2 knocks on the head and try to start you. – If you still don’t respond, they’ll clean dust off you, use a tool to hit your head, nose and heart and try to start you again – If you’re weak, they’ll increase your heart beat to make you work faster, – They’ll remove all veins they come across while working, say its just a design and it’s not really needed.

hotgunz:
U didn't mention d new long throat ambassadors. Dija

Chai see diz.................ppu are very wicked see how dem destroyed dija's personality

poor ppu fucck to impress................."lobatan

How u doing ppu? #respecttoalltheteachersinthehouse

avicky:
Yes oh. But i need help in downloading my form A.

get a softcopy frm those dat av downloaded it. i got mine tru a frnd.............is juz dat I'm using netque wifi,i wud av snd d softcopy to you but right now i'm in town.....

avicky:
Thanks dearie. Was so touched.
But it's been long you commented on the PG thread.
Abeg, help the prospective applicants.

Its bn a while ma'am, i've bn immersed in my thesis work....i w c to dat. thnks...
Hope u re working on ur own too?

THE PREGNANT DEER -
Such a beautiful story !

In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth.
She finds a remote grass field near a strong-flowing river.
This seems a safe place.
Suddenly labour pains begin.

At the same moment, dark clouds gather around above & lightning starts a forest fire.
She looks to her left & sees a hunter with his bow extended pointing at her.
To her right, she spots a hungry lion approaching her.

What can the pregnant deer do?
She is in labour!

What will happen?
Will the deer survive?
Will she give birth to a fawn?
Will the fawn survive?
Or will everything be burnt by the forest fire?
Will she perish to the hunter's arrow?
Will she die a horrible death at the hands of the hungry lion approaching her?

She is constrained by the fire on the one side & the flowing river on the other & boxed in by her natural predators.

What does she do?
She focuses on giving birth to a new life.

The sequence of events that follows are:

- Lightning strikes & blinds the hunter.
- He releases the arrow which zips past the deer & strikes the hungry lion.
- It starts to rain heavily, & the forest fire is slowly doused by the rain.
- The deer gives birth to a healthy fawn.

In our life too, there are moments of choice when we are confronted on αll sides with negative thoughts and possibilities.

Some thoughts are so powerful that they overcome us & overwhelm us.

Maybe we can learn from the deer.
The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply to give birth to a baby.

The rest was not in her hands & any action or reaction that changed her focus would have likely resulted in death or disaster.

Ask yourself,
Where is your focus?
Where is your faith and hope?

In the midst of any storm, do keep faith on the creator always. He will never ever disappoint you. NEVER.
Remember, He neither slumbers nor sleeps !! The strong know how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manages to say 'I'm Ok' with a smile. I send this to u because u are a strong person. That was why God heard your prayers and said hard times are over. If you believe in Him send this to others including me. Be honest and send this to anyone who makes you smile. GOD CARES ABOUT YOU........

DEDICATED ALL THE JOB SEEKERS ON THIS THREAD

too much of holywood films is dangerous fa

Tbells91:
I was a 14B corps member, I registered for pgde in Feb this year cz I heard it was cheap but after registering, I discovered the fee had increased.. I continued anyway, when it was time for registration, I told the person that I was still serving and I didn't have my university certificate either and he helped and told me to bring them before the end of the program.. So next year, register for it and attend classes if you want cz of attendance / CA and make sure you know your rep and you do your assignments. This is the breakdown of the fee;

Registration fee: 2,350
First semester;
Tuition fee: 25,850
Tablet fee: 45,000
Exam fee: 10,350
Second semester;
Tuition fee: 25,850
Teaching practice fee: 10,000
Project fee: 10,000
Exam fee: 10,350
During registration we paid 1,200 for tee-shirt, 2,000 for matric and 1,000 for id card.. Course materials are free..
We just started second semester and will be writing our exam in December.. Just be updated..

Total =#131550 ...................equivalent to fees paid for M.Sc programmes in some fed universities.

manie:
I disagree with you, there are 5 University graduates in the Primary section of my former School, one of them made second class upper from Ilorin. The Head Teacher of the school between 2004 and 2006 was a Phd holder. Teachers in the primary school section of a big school in Lagos Mainland earn and make more money than their Secondary school counterpart because the primary section is the cash cow of that educational organisation. Another big school in Ikeja have Canadian, British and American Phd holders and Professors as the top management staff.

This is an eye opener,forgive my mistakes.......Thanks

dunnitara:
@ ProfGday, please any recruitment company you can vouch for in Lagos?.

no...

mandonnels:
please someone shud help please.
With respect to your application to teach in our school - Goman Int\'l Sch - as a primary class teacher, we hereby invite you for an interview on Tuesday 8th of Sept, 2015 . You are expected to prepare a lesson note on any topic of your choice. Also, you will be given a written exam. Come prepared.
I applied for d secondary section. hav neva taught at d primary level. please i nid help on how to prepare a note for primary skul and what to expect in d test.
thanks.

For u to be shortlisted as a class teacher for primary class meant dat ur qualificatns wasn't good enough (may be ure NCE,OND,HND holder) I mean no disrespect.

Concerning d interview,prepare an interesting topic meant for a primary scl pupils. Since u were askd to prepare a lesson note,surely ure goin to do micro-teaching. Forgt about d test,it can come from any angle................relax,believe in ur ability.

Rewarding Job Opportunity!U are invited for interview at Trupurpose Consult Mon.07/09/15.@28,Adebajo Str,Kongi Layout,New Bodija by 08:30am.Come with your cv................................................


I don't use to advertise Job recruitment agencies by I can confidently vouch for the above Human Resource agency. Try them. Within a week they will link u with ur employer,without collecting kobo until u received ur first salary.Then,20% will be deducted and dats all.


I will like to have a feedback from u to corroborate my findings about them.

"You can't get to the Palace dressing like a peasant"
Pls whenever u're going for an interview "dress to kill" Your worth is evaluated thru ur appearance.
Damn! I'm tired of seeing B.Sc holders in tout regalia(jeans & slippers) during interview. Be professional.

Check ds classificatn of Suit
1. Tux
2. Coat
3. Shoulder-pad coat

If u want to see diff styles of d above dresses, visit any intervewing locatn. Laughing seriously...............................

The American University of Nigeria (AUN) was established in 2003. The Institution was conceived as Africa's first Development University, and is in the process of setting up a Faculty of Law. In furtherance of regulatory requirements, the University invites applications from suitably qualified persons to fill position for its planned Law Program. We are recruiting to fill the vacant position of: Job Title: English Language Teacher Location: Adamawa Department: Charter School Summary of Positions To work in a manner that fully reflects the School's mission and vision. To implement and deliver a balanced and relevant curriculum for the students and to support the overall English Language curriculum To monitor and support the overall progress and development of the students both as a teacher and a mentor To encourage a learning experience that provides pupils with the opportunity to achieve their individual potential To contribute to the raising standards of students' attainment To share and support the school’s responsibility to provide and monitor opportunities for personal and academic growth Detailed Listings of Responsibilities To assist in the development of appropriate syllabuses, resources, schemes of work, making policies and teaching strategies in the subject area of English Language To contribute to the implementation and improvement of a plan in the subject area To plan and prepare courses and lessons and ensure a high quality of learning experience for the students To contribute to the whole school's planning activities To promote the general progress and well being of the students in line with the school’s policy To alert the appropriate staff to problems experienced by pupils and to make recommendations as to how these may be resolved To communicate , as appropriate, with the parents of students and with persons or bodies outside the school concerned with the welfare of individual students after consultation with the Head of School To assess, record and report on the attendance, progress, development and attainment of students and to keep such records as are required To use a variety of delivery methods that will stimulate learning appropriate to students’ needs and the demands of the relevant syllabus To maintain discipline in accordance with school's procedures and to encourage good practice with regard to punctuality, behavior, standards of work and homework To play a full part in the life of the school community, to support its aim and ethos and to encourage all staff and pupils to follow this example To ensure that the classroom provides a positive learning environment including the use of stimulating displays To take part in the staff development program To continue personal development in relevant areas including subject knowledge and teaching methods To help prepare students for standardized tests and college entrance exams To help in implementing school quality procedures and to adhere to these To contribute to the process of monitoring and evaluation of the Science subject area in line with school procedures To review from time to time methods of teaching and programs of work To maintain appropriate records and to provide relevant accurate and up to date information in the tracking of pupils and their performance To communicate effectively with the parents of students as appropriate Where appropriate, to communicate and co-operate with persons or bodies outside the school To take part in marketing and liaison activities such as Open Evenings, Parents’ Evenings, student review meetings etc. To contribute and assist in identifying resource needs and the effective and efficient use of physical resources To cooperate with other staff to ensure a sharing and effective use of resources to the benefit of the school and the students. To actively promote schools' policies and continue personal development as agreed To comply with the University's Health and Safety Policy To undertake any other duties as specified by the Head of Charter School Requirements for the Position A B.Ed from a recognized tertiary institution in a relevant field, with three to five years teaching experience. Possess high level interpersonal communication skills. The full-time English Teacher is expected to be specialized in the following areas: Grammar and Structure English Literature Phonetics Other requirements, abilities for the position: Adequate knowledge of AUN Policies and Procedures. Employees are expected to be courteous to colleagues and provide a welcoming environment to visitors and telephone callers. Application Closing Date 27th August, 2015. How to Apply Interested and qualified candidates should submit their resumes, cover letters and references to: recruitment@aun.edu.ng before the closing date of this publication. The position being applied for should be the subject of the email. Note: Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted.