₦airaland Forum

HAVE U WaTCHED "KUNFU" by Crazeclown................wao dat guy knows how to make CRONIC SADIST laugh and piss for body

In ds part of d world we called tht hairdo "Suku"
dats way too femine

Buhari: I like guitar more than human being,u can grab them by d neck and make them scream without pressing charges and abuse you like Nigerians....We want Change not Chain

HighIQ:
ILE IFE is the ugliest and worst city I have ever been to. The road are narrow and horrible.It is a gov abandoned area. No wonder Aregbesola lost completely in the last election in IFE REGION. The town is dirty and ugly. Laziness is common. Imagine people opening shop at 12pm. Their tailor, electrician, coblers and any artisan may dissapoint you. Infact there is nothing beautiful and nice about this town. The only glory and great thing it has is the prestigious university in it OBAFEMI AWOLOWO UNIVERSITY. GREAT IFE!!!

You're 97% correct...........

tosyne2much:
OP, you are so on point.. Lemme add my own to the list


9. Tight Kitty-Cat


I can't but smh each time I see saying they can't date a lady whose kitty-cat is loose.. All I know is that it's not kitty-cat that defines a lady.. Whether it's as wide as Lagos-Ibadan Expressway, it doesn't matter.. A lady might have a tight kitty-cat and won't make a good wife while a lady might have a loose kitty-cat and will make a good wife


10. Walking Steps

Just because a lady can cat-walk like Beyonce, some guys go wan die on top her neck.. All I know is that it doesn't matter how a lady walks, whether she walks sideways like a crab, or she walks slowly like a tortoise; all that matter is true love

crab,millipede? guy u get corosive mouthu!

Before I pass my judgement on this lesser-than-beast half man,don't tell me d woman in question did nothing dat made d craziness hibernating inside dt lunatic of a doctor to go gaga.....u of all ppu knw women and their unbridle tongues? So I wud suggest dat dz guy is disrobe of anything he stand for cos he lack self-control cum self esteem..... Pele Theresa! see where ur mouth had landed ur cranium..... before u reply anybody examine them very well to knw if they are mentally okay.
my opinion

Before I pass my judgement on this lesser-than-beast half man,don't tell me d woman in question did nothing dat made d craziness hibernating inside dt lunatic of a doctor to go gaga.....u of all ppu knw women and their unbridle tongues? So I wud suggest dat dz guy is disrobe of anything he stand for cos he lack self-control cum self esteem..... Pele Theresa! see where ur mouth had landed ur cranium..... before u reply anybody examine them very well to knw if they are mentally okay.

foriz4u:
anyone his/her ex don't desire n want back it means dat person don't deserve to have a partner because h/s was neva gud n will never b gud to any body upfront.

Plain truth.......my ex called me everytime she needs advice concerning an issue.....Life is too short to developed hatred for ur ex...

Listen son..............THE BONELESSNESS OF A JOYSTICK DOES NOT RENDER IT USELESS ON THE DAY OF A BATTLE.

charix:
Unlike the other thread I found useful, this one I didn't.
Google is now a dictionary so all one needs to do is read books, articles, post on discussion forums and journals to boost vocabulary then check google from time to time to ensure words are placed in their right context.
I can beat my chest and say to the high heavens I've never made any of the mistakes listed here.

CHEST-BEATER,EASY OOOOOO........................

Akosxxx:
Straight to the point.

1. ACCEPT vs. EXCEPT
These two words sound similar but have very different meanings. Accept means to receive something willingly: “His mom accepted his explanation” or “She accepted the gift graciously.” Except signifies exclusion: “I can attend every meeting except the one next week.” To help you remember, note that both except
and exclusion begin with ex .


2. AFFECT VS EFFECT

To make these words even more confusing than they already are, both can be used as either a noun or a verb. Let’s start with the verbs. Affect means to influence something or someone; effect
means to accomplish something. “Your job was
affected by the organizational restructuring” but “These changes will be effected on Monday.” As a noun, an effect is the result of something: “The sunny weather had a huge e ffect on sales.” It’s almost always the right choice because the noun
affect refers to an emotional state and is rarely used outside of psychological circles: “The patient’s affect was flat.”


3. LIE vs. LAY

We’re all pretty clear on the lie that means an untruth. It’s the other usage that trips us up. Lie
also means to recline: “Why don’t you lie down and rest?” Lay requires an object: “ Lay the book on the table.” Lie is something you can do by yourself, but you need an object to lay . It’s more confusing in the past tense. The past tense of lie is—you guessed it— lay : “I lay down for an hour last night.” And the past tense of lay is laid: “I laid the book on the table.”


4. BRING vs. TAKE

Bring and take both describe transporting something or someone from one place to another, but the correct usage depends on the speaker’s point of view. Somebody brings
something to you, but you take it to somewhere else: “ Bring me the mail, then take your shoes to your room.” Just remember, if the movement is toward you, use bring; if the movement is away from you, use take.


5. IRONIC vs. COINCIDENTAL


A lot of people get this wrong. If you break your leg the day before a ski trip, that’s not ironic —it’s coincidental (and bad luck). Ironic has several meanings, all of which include some type of reversal of what was expected. Verbal irony is when a person says one thing but clearly means another. Situational irony is when a result is the opposite of what was expected. O. Henry was a master of situational irony. In his famous short story The Gift of the Magi , Jim sells his watch to buy combs for his wife’s hair, and she sells her hair to buy a chain for Jim’s watch. Each character sold something precious to buy a gift for the other, but those gifts were intended for what the other person sold. That is true irony. If you break your leg the day before a ski trip, that’s coincidental. If you drive up to the mountains to ski, and there was more snow back at your house, that’s ironic.


6. IMPLY vs. INFER


To imply means to suggest something without saying it outright. To infer means to draw a conclusion from what someone else implies. As a general rule, the speaker/writer implies, and the listener/reader infers.


7. NAUSEOUS vs. NAUSEATED


Nauseous has been misused so often that the incorrect usage is accepted in some circles. Still, it’s important to note the difference. Nauseous means causing nausea; nauseated means experiencing nausea. So, if your circle includes ultra-particular grammar sticklers, never say “I’m
nauseous ” unless you want them to be snickering behind your back.


8. COMPRISE vs. COMPOSE


These are two of the most commonly misused words in the English language. Comprise means to include; compose means to make up. It all comes down to parts versus the whole. When you use
comprise , you put the whole first: “A soccer game comprises (includes) two halves.” When you use compose, you put the pieces first: “Fifty states compose (make up) the United States of America.”


9.FARTHER vs. FURTHER


Farther refers to physical distance, while further describes the degree or extent of an action or situation. “I can’t run any farther ,” but “I have nothing further to say.” If you can substitute “more” or “additional,” use further.


10.FEWER vs. LESS


Use fewer when you’re referring to separate items that can be counted; use less when referring to a whole: “You have fewer dollars, but
less money.”
Bringing it all together


English grammar can be tricky, and, a lot of times, the words that sound right are actually wrong. With words such as those listed above , you just have to memorize the rules so that when you are about to use them, you’ll catch yourself in the act and know for certain that you’ve written or said the right one.

Anytime somebody posted something sensible I always do two things,I will luk @ the name and d signature of dat person juz to b double-sure.......kudos to u O.P

Integrityfarms:
If Jesus was preaching the way some so called Gospel Ministers preach today, am telling you that the Jews wouldn't have crucified him. Especially churches preaching about love, prosperity and breakthrough like going abroad without applying for visa, possessing a car without buying it etc all in the name of faith and miracles!

Tell them bro,let me add this to ur contribution that 99.97% of our so called Daddy G.O's are SHEEP-EATERS and not a SHEEP-KEEPERS they claimed to be. Jesus is seriously weeping over all ds end-time swindlers...............
Amen sombori?

If Nigerian Mechanics were Medical Doctors.... – A mechanic will remove your hand and replace it will white girl’s hand and say “o ma sise (it will work, its stronger)”. – If you stay too long in the hospital, they will sell your eyes and claim you came eyeless. – My mechanic would have done an operation and forgotten to return the heart. – He would remove a kidney and claim its not important and useless in your system. – When you’re down, they’ll give you 2 knocks on the head and try to start you. – If you still don’t respond, they’ll clean dust off you, use a tool to hit your head, nose and heart and try to start you again – If you’re weak, they’ll increase your heart beat to make you work faster, – They’ll remove all veins they come across while working, say its just a design and it’s not really needed.

hotgunz:
U didn't mention d new long throat ambassadors. Dija

Chai see diz.................ppu are very wicked see how dem destroyed dija's personality

poor ppu fucck to impress................."lobatan

How u doing ppu? #respecttoalltheteachersinthehouse

avicky:
Yes oh. But i need help in downloading my form A.

get a softcopy frm those dat av downloaded it. i got mine tru a frnd.............is juz dat I'm using netque wifi,i wud av snd d softcopy to you but right now i'm in town.....

avicky:
Thanks dearie. Was so touched.
But it's been long you commented on the PG thread.
Abeg, help the prospective applicants.

Its bn a while ma'am, i've bn immersed in my thesis work....i w c to dat. thnks...
Hope u re working on ur own too?

THE PREGNANT DEER -
Such a beautiful story !

In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth.
She finds a remote grass field near a strong-flowing river.
This seems a safe place.
Suddenly labour pains begin.

At the same moment, dark clouds gather around above & lightning starts a forest fire.
She looks to her left & sees a hunter with his bow extended pointing at her.
To her right, she spots a hungry lion approaching her.

What can the pregnant deer do?
She is in labour!

What will happen?
Will the deer survive?
Will she give birth to a fawn?
Will the fawn survive?
Or will everything be burnt by the forest fire?
Will she perish to the hunter's arrow?
Will she die a horrible death at the hands of the hungry lion approaching her?

She is constrained by the fire on the one side & the flowing river on the other & boxed in by her natural predators.

What does she do?
She focuses on giving birth to a new life.

The sequence of events that follows are:

- Lightning strikes & blinds the hunter.
- He releases the arrow which zips past the deer & strikes the hungry lion.
- It starts to rain heavily, & the forest fire is slowly doused by the rain.
- The deer gives birth to a healthy fawn.

In our life too, there are moments of choice when we are confronted on αll sides with negative thoughts and possibilities.

Some thoughts are so powerful that they overcome us & overwhelm us.

Maybe we can learn from the deer.
The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply to give birth to a baby.

The rest was not in her hands & any action or reaction that changed her focus would have likely resulted in death or disaster.

Ask yourself,
Where is your focus?
Where is your faith and hope?

In the midst of any storm, do keep faith on the creator always. He will never ever disappoint you. NEVER.
Remember, He neither slumbers nor sleeps !! The strong know how to keep their life in order. Even with tears in their eyes, they still manages to say 'I'm Ok' with a smile. I send this to u because u are a strong person. That was why God heard your prayers and said hard times are over. If you believe in Him send this to others including me. Be honest and send this to anyone who makes you smile. GOD CARES ABOUT YOU........

DEDICATED ALL THE JOB SEEKERS ON THIS THREAD

too much of holywood films is dangerous fa

Tbells91:
I was a 14B corps member, I registered for pgde in Feb this year cz I heard it was cheap but after registering, I discovered the fee had increased.. I continued anyway, when it was time for registration, I told the person that I was still serving and I didn't have my university certificate either and he helped and told me to bring them before the end of the program.. So next year, register for it and attend classes if you want cz of attendance / CA and make sure you know your rep and you do your assignments. This is the breakdown of the fee;

Registration fee: 2,350
First semester;
Tuition fee: 25,850
Tablet fee: 45,000
Exam fee: 10,350
Second semester;
Tuition fee: 25,850
Teaching practice fee: 10,000
Project fee: 10,000
Exam fee: 10,350
During registration we paid 1,200 for tee-shirt, 2,000 for matric and 1,000 for id card.. Course materials are free..
We just started second semester and will be writing our exam in December.. Just be updated..

Total =#131550 ...................equivalent to fees paid for M.Sc programmes in some fed universities.

manie:
I disagree with you, there are 5 University graduates in the Primary section of my former School, one of them made second class upper from Ilorin. The Head Teacher of the school between 2004 and 2006 was a Phd holder. Teachers in the primary school section of a big school in Lagos Mainland earn and make more money than their Secondary school counterpart because the primary section is the cash cow of that educational organisation. Another big school in Ikeja have Canadian, British and American Phd holders and Professors as the top management staff.

This is an eye opener,forgive my mistakes.......Thanks

dunnitara:
@ ProfGday, please any recruitment company you can vouch for in Lagos?.

no...

mandonnels:
please someone shud help please.
With respect to your application to teach in our school - Goman Int\'l Sch - as a primary class teacher, we hereby invite you for an interview on Tuesday 8th of Sept, 2015 . You are expected to prepare a lesson note on any topic of your choice. Also, you will be given a written exam. Come prepared.
I applied for d secondary section. hav neva taught at d primary level. please i nid help on how to prepare a note for primary skul and what to expect in d test.
thanks.

For u to be shortlisted as a class teacher for primary class meant dat ur qualificatns wasn't good enough (may be ure NCE,OND,HND holder) I mean no disrespect.

Concerning d interview,prepare an interesting topic meant for a primary scl pupils. Since u were askd to prepare a lesson note,surely ure goin to do micro-teaching. Forgt about d test,it can come from any angle................relax,believe in ur ability.

Rewarding Job Opportunity!U are invited for interview at Trupurpose Consult Mon.07/09/15.@28,Adebajo Str,Kongi Layout,New Bodija by 08:30am.Come with your cv................................................


I don't use to advertise Job recruitment agencies by I can confidently vouch for the above Human Resource agency. Try them. Within a week they will link u with ur employer,without collecting kobo until u received ur first salary.Then,20% will be deducted and dats all.


I will like to have a feedback from u to corroborate my findings about them.

"You can't get to the Palace dressing like a peasant"
Pls whenever u're going for an interview "dress to kill" Your worth is evaluated thru ur appearance.
Damn! I'm tired of seeing B.Sc holders in tout regalia(jeans & slippers) during interview. Be professional.

Check ds classificatn of Suit
1. Tux
2. Coat
3. Shoulder-pad coat

If u want to see diff styles of d above dresses, visit any intervewing locatn. Laughing seriously...............................

The American University of Nigeria (AUN) was established in 2003. The Institution was conceived as Africa's first Development University, and is in the process of setting up a Faculty of Law. In furtherance of regulatory requirements, the University invites applications from suitably qualified persons to fill position for its planned Law Program. We are recruiting to fill the vacant position of: Job Title: English Language Teacher Location: Adamawa Department: Charter School Summary of Positions To work in a manner that fully reflects the School's mission and vision. To implement and deliver a balanced and relevant curriculum for the students and to support the overall English Language curriculum To monitor and support the overall progress and development of the students both as a teacher and a mentor To encourage a learning experience that provides pupils with the opportunity to achieve their individual potential To contribute to the raising standards of students' attainment To share and support the school’s responsibility to provide and monitor opportunities for personal and academic growth Detailed Listings of Responsibilities To assist in the development of appropriate syllabuses, resources, schemes of work, making policies and teaching strategies in the subject area of English Language To contribute to the implementation and improvement of a plan in the subject area To plan and prepare courses and lessons and ensure a high quality of learning experience for the students To contribute to the whole school's planning activities To promote the general progress and well being of the students in line with the school’s policy To alert the appropriate staff to problems experienced by pupils and to make recommendations as to how these may be resolved To communicate , as appropriate, with the parents of students and with persons or bodies outside the school concerned with the welfare of individual students after consultation with the Head of School To assess, record and report on the attendance, progress, development and attainment of students and to keep such records as are required To use a variety of delivery methods that will stimulate learning appropriate to students’ needs and the demands of the relevant syllabus To maintain discipline in accordance with school's procedures and to encourage good practice with regard to punctuality, behavior, standards of work and homework To play a full part in the life of the school community, to support its aim and ethos and to encourage all staff and pupils to follow this example To ensure that the classroom provides a positive learning environment including the use of stimulating displays To take part in the staff development program To continue personal development in relevant areas including subject knowledge and teaching methods To help prepare students for standardized tests and college entrance exams To help in implementing school quality procedures and to adhere to these To contribute to the process of monitoring and evaluation of the Science subject area in line with school procedures To review from time to time methods of teaching and programs of work To maintain appropriate records and to provide relevant accurate and up to date information in the tracking of pupils and their performance To communicate effectively with the parents of students as appropriate Where appropriate, to communicate and co-operate with persons or bodies outside the school To take part in marketing and liaison activities such as Open Evenings, Parents’ Evenings, student review meetings etc. To contribute and assist in identifying resource needs and the effective and efficient use of physical resources To cooperate with other staff to ensure a sharing and effective use of resources to the benefit of the school and the students. To actively promote schools' policies and continue personal development as agreed To comply with the University's Health and Safety Policy To undertake any other duties as specified by the Head of Charter School Requirements for the Position A B.Ed from a recognized tertiary institution in a relevant field, with three to five years teaching experience. Possess high level interpersonal communication skills. The full-time English Teacher is expected to be specialized in the following areas: Grammar and Structure English Literature Phonetics Other requirements, abilities for the position: Adequate knowledge of AUN Policies and Procedures. Employees are expected to be courteous to colleagues and provide a welcoming environment to visitors and telephone callers. Application Closing Date 27th August, 2015. How to Apply Interested and qualified candidates should submit their resumes, cover letters and references to: recruitment@aun.edu.ng before the closing date of this publication. The position being applied for should be the subject of the email. Note: Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted.

Bade Unik School, a fast growing private schools (Secondary & N/P), located at Sagamu need the service of God-fearing, sound, result oriented, confident people with good communication skills to fill the position below: Job Title: Experienced Teacher Location: Ogun Requirements Education graduates or with PGDE, with relevant experience in Montessori, Nigeria & British Curricula. All applicants must be computer literate of high integrity and have right ideas to contribute for development. Subjects Nursery classes, English Language/Literature, Mathematics, Sciences/especially T.D. Geography, Physics & PHE. Application Closing Date 31st August, 2015. Method of Application Interested and qualified candidates should send their applications and detailed CV's to: badeunikrecruitment@yahoo.com Note: Only shortlisted candidates shall be contacted.

Sunnypar:

87 Wa da gba Street
Pinefield,
555-555-5555 (h)
123-123-1234 (c)
name@email.com

Date

Mr. John
Kereje Elementary School
Mainland Street
Lagos.

Dear Mr. Manie,

I am interested in applying for a teaching position, on the elementary level, in your school. As a 20XX graduate of Bleep College, I have student teaching experience on the third and sixth primary level, in both village and town school.

At the present time I am teaching “at risk” preschool children.
This position enables me to provide these students with a “head start” in mastering basic skills. I am challenged to be creative, nurturing and most of all, patient.

In my junior year at Bleep College, a passion for and knowledge of flogging created an opportunity for me work for the flogging ministry. This position allowed me to teach every fourth grade class in the local school system. I coordinated field trips with classroom instruction.

It is my goal to combine my range of experience with my ability to be a compassionate, enthusiastic, intelligent teacher who will make a positive contribution to your school district

When u're looking for something to make u leave ur seat and start rolling on d floor while ure holding ur tommy due to uncontrolable laughter.
Mehn! u guys are bunch of comedians here! Tumbs up

mauryn87:
Please I need ur help ASAP! What are likely interview questns I shld expct for a teaching job? Its for secondary sch..thanks

WAEC,JAMB questn series will do...................... based on ur discipline....

Sunnypar:
This is a follow up to my post above as regards salaries of teachers in "specific location".

Negotiation is key to getting the needed salary, although preference is given to B.Ed & B.sc edu. gradutes because that is their terrain. More often that not, they are paid the same with other degree holders. A "few"schools pay them a little above other degree holders.

P.S. Schools that are starting CANNOT pay you the needed salary. Some would increase your salary as the number of pupils increases, though there are exceptions especially for schools in highbrow areas and A'level or sixth form schools.

1. Ikorodu-Bayoku, Idiroko, Ajegunle, Igbogbo e.tc, some schools in Surulere 15k-22k (Likewise in Uwelu, Barrack and after the Airforce barracks in Benin, Edo State).
2. Bariga- Somolu & Bajulaye 28-30k depending on your qualifications;
3. Festac, Mile 2 & Apapa- 45-75k depending on your qualifications, PDGE inclusive;
4. Lekki-80k- 160k depending on your experiences, professional certifications and qualifications, Nursery and primary 40-60k(source: luffskidz);
5. Gbagada-60k depending on qualifications, experience; (oluemmakay could be reached for details).
6. Anthony- 70k depending on the school and location experience counts a lot plus professional qualifications;
7. Akute-Ajuwon Axis- 35-45k depending on the location, qualification and experience. Most of them usually have high turnover of teacher.... that leaves much to be desire (visit some post on pages 1-23).
8. Ipaja- 35-50k depending on location, qualification and experience... some are ready to give you accommodation. Based on information gathered on this thread, they would want applicants living in that axis.
9. Ayobo along Redemption camp-18k-28k (Not all schools in that location would pay such salary. Just a handful are willing to provide accommodation).
10. Jabi(Abuja), Maraba, Nyanya 25-45k- it depends on the school & location.
11. Ekiti depending on the school- 20k, some 35-45 depending on qualifications. Accommodation is provided for some schools.
12. Ile-ife- 60-75, depending on school location, British/Nigeria curticulum,qualifications and professional qualifications. Accommodation is given in certain school for experience hire.
13. Kwara-13k schools around Ansaru-deen, tanke, Taiwo, post office 25-30k
14. Zaria- 20k upwards
15. Ondo - depends on the curriculum, if it is A sixth form 80-150 with accommodation provided you have the perquisite qualifications.
16. Ogbomoso- details are still sketchy
17. Ogun- Mowe, Ofada, Lambe, Matugun, Ijoko, Are-po
It depends on the school, curriculum, qualifications and experience. In Abeokuta, there are A-level schools that pay well such as Daywaterman e.t.c other Nigeria curriculum schools to the best of my knowledge 60k.
18. Onitsha- 12-20k depending on school, qualifications ( from Information gathered, irrespective of qualifications in some quarters, they cannot pay above 40k).
19. Bayelsa- In Bayelsa, Belary Schools, Ayakpo Schools, Faith Comprehensive Sec. school (FACISS), Winners Academy(Not owned by Winners church o), Bieodomo Schools, Divine Comprehensive, New Total Child Academy and Benny Schools are the "Big ones" (though some other schools are springing up and giving the aforementioned schools a good run for their resources). so
Belary = 30,000 entry level may rise to 40 0r 45 but not above 45 plus Accomodation for few staff.
Ayakpo = same as Belary but with little/no accomodation.
FACISS = 30000 Entry level but can pay up to 60000
Winners = Negotiable entry but more rules as it regards dress style.
Bieodomo Schools = 35000 (but no holidays even in August else be ready to lose the month's salary)
Divine Comprehensive = 30,000 and may hit 60,000 depending on your impact.
New Total Child Academy = same as Divine Comprehensive
Benny Schools = Negotiable entry salary but not below 25000.


With this, you should be guided on what smaller schools pay.
the Minimum here in Bayelsa is 5000 (for WAEC holders teaching in private primary schools)

Feel free to ask questions or add if you are also in Bayelsa.Source: Makozona

20. Porthacourt- information from reliable source gathered from their thread and Morrygreat corroborating the said information. 25-30k. They also have the A-level schools that pay as high as 70k.

21. Ejigbo- 35-50k, power of negotiation is important and experience.

Caleb schools- 70-100k
Redeemers schools -90-150k
Chrisland- 80-120k
British international- 150k
Turkish international- 145k
American international 200k
Pampers- 95k


I also sympathise with school owners because they spend a lot, the reason they set up the business is to provide services at acceptable profit and reduce cost to the bearest minimum.


WARNING: The above should not be relied upon totally. You can either bargain below or above the stated figures above. I STRONGLY advice you do your findings so as to ascertain what is obtainable in the location above.



Please update the above to assist those that would like to move in this "transfer season".
Thanks.

Kudos to u Mr OP,for a gud job well done. I will like to correct u based on d satement made abt schl's salary range in Ile-Ife and environ. There is no schl dat can afford such salary in dat town.....except OAU International and Henry Alex Duduyemi Grammar School.
Thanks