₦airaland Forum

Nwaotu10:
I'm quitting Nairaland after spending a decade here.
What kind of report is this?
Nairaland is now a joke.


This took place in my neighborhood. The girl's brother was a known cultist, and his adversaries, unable to get to him directly, chose to attack his sister and other members of his family. This has no connection whatsoever to Ebonyi or Anambra State.

If this is true, then I don't envy cultists that are flexing as bad boys, big boys. There's nothing cool there as they project. I can't imagine other cultists coming for my innocent family because I am a cultist. My brother, going to school, attacked. The one that doesn't even go out also, attacked. Or the one with friends. Or my mother who is managing her old age. Or my father who worked hard to train me getting attacked, then the family will gather looking for hospital bills. Abegi, the thing isn't cool to me at allllll... Just suffering and killing.

promami:
Anybody intentionally uglifying their wife in a bid to scare other men away is a fool. The woman too is equally a fool. Beyond looking great physically, keeping fit helps to improve your health. It's a common knowledge that obesity rings unnecessary health issues like high BP, stroke, heart disease and others. Why would anyone risk these in a bid to scare men away?
Personally, I won't allow my partner look anything short of stunning. It's not happening. Anybody can turn their wife to whatever they want, mine would be a thing of pride.

Glad you don't have that weird aim for your wife. She'll be lucky.

franchasofficia:
It's beyond wrapper and Headtie sis.


A beautiful hot woman is a beautiful hot woman whether she ties wrapper or wears bedsheet as clothe or decides to walk naked.


The issue is about hormonal changes in women caused by pregnancy and childbirth. I respect women for that, it's not easy carrying pregnancy for 9 months, men can't carry it, if they dare many will die before the 9th month



God bless all mothers out there it's not easy.


That's why women shouldn't be angry if their husbands start to keep side chicks with respect cos it's not also easy for men to keep fücking same woman they met as a sexy shapely lahot chick who later turned to round football.


This whole thing is about understanding.


Men appreciate women for the pain of pregnancy and childbirth, women please forgive your husbands for keeping side chicks cos it's a necessity to keep the man happy and mentally balanced.



Even with all the enhancement plastic surgeries available to western women, oyimbo ladies still don't look same after child bearing. It's not easy being a mother, they deserve our unreserved love and respect.

Thank you for understanding.

bukatyne:
And she can't deliver herself?

Anyways? It is the opposite in some cases; the woman wants to look the 'part' while the man wants her younger.

It could also be the rigor and tolls of motherhood.

Four kids in eight years is no joke!

I mentioned in another post that it might be motherhood too.

But ladies that want to look the part... Me, I'm the part by force , I can't believe someone will willingly want to look like that but... Different personalities.

I always looked mature very easily. I have an aunt that's years older than me but blessed with youthful looks. I easily get called aunty while people treat her like a baby... Coincidentally, she HATES that, she wants all the respect and the aunty role, she dislikes her baby features, but people baby her, while I that wants to be a baby looking type forever has a seriously matured face right from the start 🤷🏿

Irony of life.

gtassure:
Lolol!..... you are discussing with nairaland cave boys? You go tey for your discussion! These boys got no education and are backward as fck!

I know who and how to dismiss so that I don't become a casualty.

promami:
I agree with you.
Any woman not looking good in shape in her husband's house is what her husband wants.
Cos as a man, your wife ought to be a thing of pride for you. So however you want to show off that pride is entirely their decision.

Sarcasm.

Anyway many men are actually easily jealous of their spouses and try to get them looking older so they can feel like the young ones in the union. It's a thing. I too wondered how a man can do that to his pride, it seems stupid but I noticed men do it anyway, they don't regard the fact that the woman is their pride.

Some men do some kind of stuff, make sure the wife looks one of a kind because they really don't want other men looking or toasting their wife. Take it or leave it.

Someone's comment even made me regret dropping my opinion on this whole thing sef... Truly it's just a family, why are we even talking about them. Anyway, lesson for next time.

Omoawoke:
Not certain types of ladies…

99% of ladies should look good in native wears

I respect your opinion. I don't agree with it though.

Omoawoke:
You hate native wears??

That you look ugly in them doesn’t mean it’s same across everyone.
There are so many girls who look so sweet in native wears

Where you come from?

I don't hate native wears.

I stated to someone else that certain types of ladies look great in native wears.

It's just my opinion, no need to know where I come from.

DeeScan:
ok ..


why are you being weird ...


what's with the no insult intended 😔

I'm just sensitive about saying something that may seem insulting to the woman's physique.

DeeScan:
let slim woman wear that wrapper ..you'd see the wrapper has got nothing to do with her physique

I noted that already. The wrapper just doesn't go with her size. No insult intended.

MrPresidon:
Before judging the school, have you considered the quality of education the kids might be obtaining therel? Is the school fees meant for sharing food? Comon

It's not like quality education is not a main priority but we are discussing a different aspect here, the one that was brought to our notice. It doesn't mean that we don't care about the educational aspect.

Because of the educational aspect the other aspects of the schools activities should not suffer. Or they could come out and say they can't handle anything else but the kids education. No end of year parties, nada, it's fine, let parents be aware.

DeeScan:
it's not so hard to admit she looks lije a friggin elephant why blame the innocent cloths/attire..

She gave birth, it's not nice to talk about her weight that way and lastly... I just think the wrapper adds to her age, no offense.

Samantha125:
I know what you mean... The native attires from my tribe are even worse... If you're not slim, you'll look like a hippopotamus...

I'm glad someone understands me on this 😂

Samantha125:
Despite her weight gain, I think her makeup is the one that made her to look even more older... In her old pictures, she wasn't wearing any makeup.

I've seen many Nigerian women wearing their native attires, but still looking young.

Yes the make up, that one came to my mind as well..the make up artist eh... Though some people just look older with make up.

As for the Nigerian women that wear native attires, yet don't look old, I think it's the slimmer ones or extremely youthful looking and extremely beautiful ones, sorry if this sounds odd. Most average women getting into that wrapper and all that tend to just look dignified and older.

I just have that mentality for wrapper, trad wears and veils, scarfs. I feel if you're not extremely fit and beautiful, these particular clothing items are going to make you add some years.

motymop:
I guess you live with them to know what hubby wants.

After Four kids, you expect the woman to look the same.

I believe that is a family picture and she is wearing her native clothes.

I said 'probably'.

Abegi I hate all these native wears that you can't revamp to look your age. We are forced to look old.

It's the wrapper and the headtie. You have married women dressing up like their husbands moms and you expect them not to look the part. Anyway, that's probably what her husband wants. He probably wants to keep looking young while she looks old, under the guise of dressing mature.

There are gowns that will cover her, yet make her look like a plus sized young model, but this is what hubby wants. E no want make any man look at his woman at all.

Why would you snap the privates. If I was eating out of that, this would have killed my appetite.

Congratulations 💕

Maybe not angry at the food, but that it was poorly cooked with little or nothing to make it desirable.

Come on, you can't pay 600k per term per child, plus extra for end of year parties and expect the same food that will be served at a public school's end of year party. After all the packaging and high fees. She said the food has no oil sef.

Plus why akpu? I don't eat akpu... I'm sure many people also don't eat it, why force it on everybody. It means there's no difference between the big school and the public one, just exorbitant fees. If not, quality in everything is supposed to distinguish your school from cheap public schools.

Allotrope69:
Stop opening that Maggot-infested tin u call mouth to spew trash.

Do u know my friend more than I do?

Don't let people provoke you with rude ways of questioning. Not worth it. You can also ignore.

Just living in fear, creating scenarios from air.

pansophist:
If he makes serious moves like you suggested, it will only intensify the pain he will feel. Besides, I believe his moves was serious enough.

"My friend was responsible for everything about this lady. Feeding, partial housing, airtime, date, transportation and every human needs you can imagine."

These are not marriage moves. These are binding moves. Someone can decide to live off you even without loving you, for these moves. They are very kind, but they are not serious moves. They are binding moves. You do a little of this, you do marriage moves as well. If he had also met her parents and paid bride price, I would have more things to say in his favor.

The girl do not love him, and he was just a space holder, and the unfortunate last option before the man she likes shows up.

This is not a case of her leaving because he is not making the right moves, but a case of her leaving because her love is not for him.

She didn't love him, true, but this issue would be clearer if he went for her hand in marriage. She would have to clear herself that she doesn't want after that. Too many guys out there wanting to do long term relationship without being ready to hitch, so I cannot still rule out the fact that perhaps, she was unsure of his plans for her, therefore exited with another guy who has gone ahead to make plans to the point of printing I v.

So it's if she sits there and waits for him to say that he's sorry, he can't marry her due to finance, or until his feelings change, or until he marries her as an old maid, that she loves him. No, I don't support being blind and stupid about your future because of love. But she would not have done something horrible like that.

Like I said, she's wrong, her method is wrong, though I have explained the motive behind it. She should have ended the relationship with him, been open about her feelings and concerns. Even set a time frame to him and opt out if he didn't reach it.

God1000:
These food Items will not get to the inmates

I just feel like say na wardens go share and cart these things home.

pocohantas:
Lol. I thought this was sarcasm until I read his story.

Glad you read it, he's ok as a writer, and I think he can improve.

Nice story, you really tried, just alter the time frame of the pregnancy being discovered with the wedding date and everything will be fine.

The story has a very good lesson. She should never have gone back to her ex after what he did to her. Sorry is not enough to heal the damage done to her, and his actions show he wasn't sorry for the way their relationship went. He was still bent on ruining her life, if he was truly remorseful, he would never call her to be private with him, but apologize and wish her well from afar.

Keep writing, you are really good at it.

drehdinho:
I work as a lawyer. I know the effort and struggles it took me to get to this stage.

I have come to observe that those who envy you most are close relatives and sometimes your partner , who you're far above in all ramifications.

They are quick to taunt you at any given opportunity, particularly when they see you're facing challenges.

I emphasize again, most enemies of you, you're way doing better than they are and they are astounded at all times as to how you manage to stay ahead of them despite the collosal challenges you have been through and over.

I was abandoned by my family and even my partner at the point I needed them the most.

At some points, I was begging for food. They never showed up.

But deep inside of me, I never blamed anyone. Throughout year 2024 there was no day that passed that I never experienced one challenge or another.

I used to tell myself one thing- to whom much is given , much is expected. As a result, I never felt tired of pushing.

In fact, it got to a point that I was totally homeless, as a lawyer. Because I just graduated. I fell into the hands of wrong principals on multiple occasions, but I was able to rigour out my way and ended up finding a beam of light and hope.

If I tell you that now, my partner that was mocking me because of my situation came texting and calling recent weeks ago trying to initiate conversation.

I simply ignored her. Same as my family members. I ignore them like plague.

This is because there thought was for me to perish but God never allowed that to happen to me. I became even more vigorous and intentional with achieving my dream.

I can't count the number of times I would have to starve for 4 -5 days straight.

So, while I'm recovering now, should I start pronouncing my bout of successes to the public with all the things have known and experienced first hand about human beings?

I don't think it's proper and fair to my chi to expose myself that way.

I have a group of few persons who I have specially formed a broadcast list for on Whatsapp. They were those who genuinely assisted me at my trying time.

And those are the ones that know my progress as they demonstrated time and time again that there are still good people in this world.

And I really thank God for putting this people in my life.

Truly, thank God for your life. Your story is inspiring. May God take us higher and higher. It's not just a life story but a lesson.

Allotrope69:
You've spoken well my sister. God bless you. I pray he heals quickly.

Amen.

Ishilove:
Pele. I wish you'd seek validation elsewhere, because if you look for it from human beings, you'd be sorely disappointed.

You also need to work on your self esteem because this kind of mindset you have will only keep you stagnant and unhappy with yourself.

First paragraph, no truer words said. It's just, things are easier said than done, but I'll work on myself. Everyone is a work in progress.

Paragraph 2, noted that. Working on the esteem but I also help myself by staying away from that social media to a great extent.

luminouz:
😳😳😳😳....

See people wey I dey reply on NL. See the mental state of this one. A woman who will post her family online and get depressed if she doesn't get likes!! WTF is the matter with these women? Are you not loved at home by your husband or you lack self-love ni? You are angry another woman is posting to trigger you when all you hunt for is likes and validation? At least she is validating you.😁😁

I just hope your husband is safe. Don't allow armed robbers come to kill him for your mistakes biko. May God save us men sha

See this one wey dey use people catch cruise. You're just having fun here, dey go your way.

Gerrard59:
I find your post very interesting and honest. It is something many people struggle with, especially as how they envisaged life never came to fruition. There are ways to mitigate the worry. One such is acknowledging that there are people bigger than us just as we are bigger than others. The goal is to live a fulfilled life on your terms, not on others. So a friend who travels to Japan did so because she could afford it. If you can travel to Ghana or Kenya for tourism, good as well. A way to achieve this is to play to your strengths. Once you play to your strengths, you become very good at it and achieve the best you want in life. There are many ways to kill the rat, the koko is that the rat is dead. Also, understand where you are coming from and where you are now. You have done well. In life, one cannot always have it all. You win some and lose some. But be proud of your winnings.

Additionally, be genuinely happy for other people who post their winnings as they show that anyone could achieve them. I believe life na turn by turn provided one works for it with a bit of luck here and there. I had mates and contemporaries who moved to study abroad with generous scholarships and worked in multinational corporations. I was happy for them and knew I wanted the same. But the route does not have to be the same. I charted my course, and today, I am glad I achieved the same as they did. Few years difference between theirs and mine. The koko is to play to your strengths, be grateful and contented. Yes, you can always and will always get more, but be happy for what you have now while you strive for more.

As for your "friend" who posts pictures as a counterpose, if possible, silence her posts or delete contact. Alternatively, bar her from viewing your posts. This race of life, na only one person dey run am.

Thanks, you are a chill person. Your post make sense 💯

drehdinho:
This makes me smile.
I like your open mindedness. My advise, you need to use those little time to work on yourself, particularly take your spiritual life seriously.

Let your success announce you to the world rather than you painting pictures of them yourself to the world.

When you post personal achievements to the public you create unhealthy competition inside of you particularly if those in your contact are far ahead of you.

On the flip side, your contact can have that as grounds to hate you, as many might feel you own them and may assume this not need to be told to you. As a result , you add more to the number of enemies.

It's not until some people go to the herbalist before they attack you spiritually. Their thoughts alone can consume your energy and make things to start working in ways you never expected in your life.

I seldomly post articles on my LinkedIn because I love to and it's needed to boost my professional personality.

But I don't post about the latest jobs offers I won. In fact, I got a good job this year and I never updated my LinkedIn profile accordingly.

I know for a fact that if it was some people, they would paint the whole places red.

I know a few friends who are doing way better but they don't post a thing on their socials yet we role. It changes nothing really but just to prevent one from adding more to the existing numbers of enemies we have got, I think the wisest thing to do is to keep working on oneself and ignore social legitimacy. You never know who's lurking around to hurt you or would feel damaged from the posts showcasing your landslide achievements.

It's another situation entirely if it's the organization you work with was the one that posts about your achievements. Or you were part of a global submit and your pictures ended up being posted by such organization.

That's normal and at least people won't take that to mean you're bragging or making them feel less.

Thanks, these are also angles I considered before letting this posting culture be. I believe everyone has insecurities and anyone who can't be unpretentious like you and some who mentioned me are, well, they choose to act like they don't have those. Thanks for respectfully giving your opinion and advice.