₦airaland Forum

optm:
These are wrong reasons to have a source of income in a relationship . The ones with this kind of mindset would also ruin their relationship .
However , it is normal expectation for every adult to have a source of income and be able to meet their needs and not having an unhealthy expectation of another adult to do that for them.
Why marry somebody that respects money and not persons?

I think we are saying the same thing. A person should have money so as to be independent and respectable on their own.

As for the bolded part, and all my points that you don't agree with, these are scenarios that come up in this life which is not perfect. I respect people as human beings even without money, but is everyone the same? Many people pretend during dating, so you can't know who is who as per character... and men who provide actually do abuse their partners who cannot also provide often. So what I'm trying to say is that it is better to be safe than sorry. To be prepared for the worst, because being abused as a woman due to lack of your own personal money is a common thing in this world for many women.

For your own respect as a woman, you really should have a job and some money in your account before marriage. This way you avoid financial abuse where you cannot have any rights because you depend on the man. You avoid verbal abuse coming all because you cannot make the same money the guy does. You avoid being controlled because you yourself don't have a dime. You even give yourself some dignity by having some money and a job or business. No man will rubbish you anyhow when you enter marriage with your money you made yourself, business or job that you got for yourself.

That's why I wasn't impressed by the other thread where the guy said he gives the girl 2k. Why the hell is a girl that earns 2k even in a relationship? What will she do when she starts having kids and she can only depend on the man? Then it's whatever the man wants, she can't give her child what she likes as she has no money. Anybody dating without a stable financial background, male or female, is on a road to disgrace. The financially stable partner will abuse the helpless one, or their issues will be open to family, family will start 'helping'.

Well, if anyone enters a relationship without money or business, be ready for what you will see. Dating is not actually meant to be had simply for sex and fun. You people are supposed to plan your futures and make sure you're both ready.

Instead you should be happy that you dodged a bullet. So now that you see his true colors, you are still not grateful that the relationship didn't work? Only few girls can see ahead before marriage.

So awesome! I'm very glad she won. Congratulations to her.

HelipsTech:
After they will announce 23 years and 7 years experience needed

Nonsense

Exactly.

She better stop looking for boyfriend and build herself to the point where she has enough money to take care of herself. 2k daily relationships is like a temporary bandage on a big wound. What happens when she gets married to you and has to contribute? Or she thinks she will continue to live in and eat 2k with her kids. Even if you pay it all, you will one day insult her for being of no use to you financially.

If you truly like her, break up with her and advice her to build herself to the point where on any day, she has a job or business that can give her 50k at least per month. So that she will be useful to herself and to you, if you decide to get back together.

She couldn't have left the line to face you. That favoritism you expect from her is a complication and a consequence of dating you as a customer. That is partly what the relationship has been for.

Men are angry that he wanted to kill himself because of a woman, but they don't mind if :

-Women never remarry after the death of their husbands. Young or old, she still belongs to the dead man.

-If women never have options after them, they prefer a woman to rot with nobody after them. Effected with conditions such as old age (just to make sure women don't have options like them) or virtue or whatever.

Men want women to have them as their existence to the point it is ingrained in culture so don't even start with that victimization of men. It's the other way round.

Many are pained because they cannot afford to use money to buy that sort of thing. Even if they had such money, they would still be making village hair up and down because such is not a priority to them.

Beauty is important to some people, and it means nothing to others. Some rich people always look haggard, while some poor people always look put together, and vice versa. It's all a matter of values/priorities.

Some people have suffered so much, they can't think of using money for anything other than survival, even if they make excess money, trauma won't let them use it to enjoy.

That's why riches or not, the way some people reason here, they'll never care to go above and beyond to look good. No need to let your life constantly be ugly looking because you are suffering or once suffered. Our lives no matter how painful, are fleeting.

Freestainworld:
I shed tears seeing this, may God punish the perpetrator.

You mean perpetrators.

This is an excellent topic, I love it.

I hope someone will also make a topic on believers not converting one/ making someone repent through shunning and pressure, there's that too. Such repentance would be fake. Lead others through love, keep showing them and hope they will change, not refusing to speak to them and being hateful.

Those of us living a cowards life, striving to please others have been dealt with, given a lot of trauma by people who don't like us. You can be killed in Nigeria for not being what people like. And the milder case is where you are often maltreated because they don't like who you are.

This guy's case is proof that your very life can be ended because you're living your life in the way that some strangers don't want. There's subtle harassment, there's blatant harassment and there's murder based on how Nigerians feel about you. Nigerians love to control each other. They can't leave themselves to live life as they please.

Some of us see the sinister danger in going on with our lives when other Nigerians don't want it so. That's why we are nervous wrecks trying to please the crowd. Because the crowd, Nigeria, is crazy. They can do horrible things to you because you live differently.

That woman commented that the man is 'not like that'. Omo why do people forget? The men grown women see are different from the men kids see. Kids and young ladies see all sorts of weird and crazy behaviors from men who just act nice to grown women or adults because they are not interested in them. Kids see things o, once some adults are alone with them. Some of us saw all these as kids, why act dumb now like you don't know 'reputable' adults abuse kids.

Una don see the perfect sufferhead to prove a love of suffering to you. You know that if she doesn't suffer, she doesn't love you.

She won't ask for urgent 2k, when you guys marry I guess she also won't ask for pampers money etc. That is how she will continue working like your fellow man for the rest of her life, until high BP and hypertension call on her. True love.

That's the way you love a woman, go get your hardworking periwinkle seller now! Hopefully you will not have to spend a dime on her after marriage.

peacefull:
Happy Sunday purples chan!
I hope you and your family are good and having a wonderful Sunday!

Thank you so much for taking your time again!
I now understand very well than before!
I really really appreciate you!!

Please say hi to your baby, my Nigerian grandchild! ♡(о´∀`о)♡

Thank you, peacefull chan! I'm wishing you a great Sunday too. I'll greet the baby, say hi to your family for me too 😊

@ peacefull

No, you're not disturbing me friend. That 'o' is just a familiar sound, usually used when you are very familiar or jovial with the person you're speaking to. Hope this helps.

oneMalik:
Small as it is , i've achieved something today .

I've got not time to waste .... am responsible for everything that happens to me .

so therefore am the commander-in-chief of my life .

I don't complain !

i don't explain !

No TIME !

What then happens to the state and those put in positions of power? They are there to do as they please huh? Well suit yourself.

If you push people to the wall, then they will stand up. How can things be so bad but we are expected to just go and find solutions for ourselves, talking as if we alone handle ourselves. Why wasn't that the talk during elections? What was the appointment for then, since we cant hold our leaders responsible for anything?

oneMalik:
If una do the protests finish make una go home and do garri chop .

I deh here deh monitor una mumu.

Make I see how govt go take plant rice and cassava for una .

peacefull:
Thank you so much purples chan!!

I wanna ask you about how many "a" in
greetings?
When I learned how to greet in Yoruba language before on internet, I saw Ekasan and Ekaasan.
Same things like Ekaro and Ekaaro.
I'm confusing.

And about Bawo ni.
What is difference between Bawo ni, Bawo ni o and Bawo ni o se wa?

Please I love to know and I really wanna understand!

Konnichiwa, Peacefull chan. 👋🏽
🌞

I am sorry for this late reply. Hope this explanation can help you understand better...

Ekasan or ekaasan means good afternoon. Despite the difference 'aa' and 'a', they both mean the same thing.

Bawo ni, bawo ni o and bawo ni o SE WA, these are all ways to ask 'how are you?' though that 'Se Wa' is an additional 'are you alright?'. It's just an extra enquiry about the well being of the person you are greeting.

peacefull:
Ekaaro, purples chan! Bawo ni?

I'm so happy to hear that you love learning Japanese!!
Wow!! That's amazing!! ＼(о´∀`о)／

Purples chan, I wanna ask you about Yoruba language.
Please Can I ask you?

Yes, please ask. 😊

Please don't do it. Talk to us here please.

Double0h7:
You and I read two different stories! She said he wanted her to keep the baby but because they were !both! Broke she being a student and him jobless SHE decided to have an abortion! Wtf are you talking about? Why are you inventing your own version of HER story! Your virtue signalling ssa is the problem with our world today! You don’t want to tell her the truth instead you fill in the blanks with your imagination. She had unprotected sex, she got pregnant, she decided to have an abortion and now she has decided that she wants to commit murder suicide and you’re here chatting shi like the child you are! I won’t reply you again because you are delusional and you and op are the reason men look down on us because we can never be adults and just take control of our lives. There always has to be some *BAD MaN* in our stories. 🖕🖕🖕

Fine think what you like and call it reality even if your own version is also selective. Wow, now men won't look down on you. Because you're unemotional towards your fellow woman. Thinking with logic is good, but why should we exclude the emotional aspect? You think if it was a man talking of how a woman scammed him, he won't talk about how he was misled emotionally to the point he did what he did?

After abandoning your sister's I hope men will give you a very strong backbone. The way you're even talking sef, I'm sure you can tell a small child that her abuse is her fault. You conveniently chose to ignore the fact that O.P was a teen, a minor when this started, and that means that man committed a crime. It's stated there. Don't forget it.

No problem but I wish men would take such decisions while holding their manhoods.

The way you don't want her, also hold your 'john Thomas' and don't put it inside her. If you don't want don't rub your body against hers. Because all this talking after enjoyment to the point of having children just seems very hypocritical to me.

You don't want, but you followed her in the bedroom having kids. Until after so much sex till you started wondering if she's the one. What backwards mentality is that.

Double0h7:
Blah blah blah! Victim hood woe me! I hope women take their power back one day soon instead of always playing the helpless victim! You have rewritten her story so she has no choice but to be some helpless little woman! She had no choice, or say so! Now she must lash out at the cruel world and kill the guy who “manipulated” her! Gtfoh! 🤮

No you should gtfoh because what's wrong if she actually IS the victim? She shouldn't accept it again, or what is wrong in accepting that you've been scammed? But it was okay when you said that man had no fault right? Why the hell are you championing a bad man in the first place? Oh, but if men come out saying they were scammed by women you'd find that okay right? In the normal world don't all people get scammed? So how is it impossible that she got deceived? Women are all knowing now and men are the only ones that can be deceived?

The word apathy exists for a reason and I think you are expressing it. Even if she made her mistake so we can't show her sympathy again.

Double0h7:
Keep making excuses for evil people! She killed her unborn baby and now she’s ready to kill this guy! He deceived her how? Did he act rich? Did he pretend to be anything other than a small street boy who smoked weed and sagged his pants? We women need to stop lying to ourselves thinking we are doing each other a favour! She _fucked up her own reproductive system because she didn’t accept her reality and now she wants to kill this person and herself after killing her lil baby! She is a serial killer on the loose 😂😂😂

He didn't lie about how he was physically but he must have lied to her about how he loved her and cared for her. Being a vulnerable teen she let him do as he wished believing that he has her best interest at heart, she trusted him with everything including her body. Then he got her pregnant and blamed her, a girl that trusted him.

She was naive, all what you're saying didn't matter to her, what mattered was that she loved him and being a woman you should understand her thoughts pattern being young and the first time in love.

He is a predator for being so much older, picking a teen and doing something that he as the more mature one should have known better than to do. For him to also agree to the unprotected sex means he was a liar, he didn't love her or care for her as he must have insinuated. He did not care about her future, now you even called him INNOCENT POOR man are you serious? Are you seriously trying to make this man an infant that doesn't know his left from his right while this young woman who is a victim of his narcissistic and selfish ways burns in pain and shame?

Is this the kindness you want to extend to her or help her think differently or what? What is your aim towards her with this gung-ho attitude?

Touching if it's just because he was a good teacher.

Double0h7:
Let me get this straight, you opened your legs, let a broke jobless man come inside you; when you fell pregnant you decided he was too broke to father your child so you did some bootleg abortion. Now! You are suffering the consequences of your actions (unprotected sex and bootleg abortion) you have decided that the poor man who wanted the child should also die! You’re ready to commit double homicide! You my sister are a witch! God is watching you and He will deal with you accordingly.

She allowed him, he deceived her.
He knew that circumstances won't let that baby be born, so he guilt tripped her while he actually wanted that abortion. It's easy to hide when he knows she will go through with it.

Don't rule him out, don't rule the circumstances out. Just to blame her alone and demonize her despite her pain, can't you see she's in pain. No you are the wicked one.

To the O. P, I'm so sorry you had to go through all this, wish I could be a physical and emotional support. But I want you to know that if you pick yourself up, turn your back on him and never look back, a better future awaits you. Yes, it always looks like nothing is left when you get used or heartbroken by a deceiver narcissist the first time, but it's not true. There is a future for you.

O. P, please take that bold step and walk away from the mess. You'll never be the same again but trust me when I say God can give you everything back like you never lost it. My heart goes out to you.

Don27tiky:
yes that’s the reason why many marriages fail. Why will a man wake up early morning preparing for work and cooking what he will eat when he has a wife sleeping. Of course such marriage will not last. If he has a female colleague that gives him food then the wife is a goner

Should this theory also apply for women who don't see money from their husbands, should they also collect money from workmates? So that we can know we are equal.

Mikel99:
It is explicitly stated in the Quran that the affairs of women are majorly in the HOUSE. And I agree with that. Advocating for husband and wife co-cooking is not wrong and not entirely right. It is right in the sense that it is a form of family romance. It is wrong in the sense that [b]it creates room for cheating and unfaithfulness.[/b]We all know that the way to a man's heart is his stomach. When the wife is not cooking for her husband,the husband can seek out alternatives. The worst of them is having a side chick outside who knows how to cook. Women will still be the ones to claim victim when their husbands are eating outside and having side chicks who take care of their stomach needs.
If we check well, one of the major reasons why husbands cheat on their wives or have side chicks outside because their wives don't cook for them.The society is Just too hasty to judge men.

So men have what creates room for unfaithfulness. Una dey enjoy.

I no think say woman get any room sef, talk of what will create the room for the unfaithfulness.

efighter:
Stop saying this outside, you are disgracing your family. Nobody will read this and allow their family member to marry from this dysfunctional family you painted

Oh it's dysfunctional because the men are cooking and the women could actually sit in the living room and enjoy themselves.

This stinking mentality is what makes men and women at bukas give ladies strange looks and attitude when they come to buy food. Enjoyment is only for men. It's a sacrilegious thing for women to sit back while the men cook. Or even while other women cook. Because women are below and the slaves.

Fvcking fake tin gods.

peacefull:
Purples chan Konnichiwa!
Wow!! Thank you so much for writing Japanese to me!!
I really appreciate you!!!

I'm so glad to know your language╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
I know some Yoruba language!
Oga mi purples chan, E kaasan!!

Ekaaro 😊 🌞 morning here now. I love learning Japanese! I'm so amazed that I'm actually understanding it bit by bit, that got me feeling more confident. Thanks for appreciating me and speaking my language too. I am so happy with you.. 💜💜💜

peacefull:
Thank you so much purples chan!!
I'm so happy to hear that your family and everything is good!!

Ohhhhh!! Really?!
One of my friend also using that app for learning Japanese too!
Which Nigerian language purples chan speak?
Sorry, How do I ask you in English?
I mean Nigeria has so many languages like Igbo, Yoruba, Hausa etc.
So, I love to know your language!

Peacefull san, ko ni chi wa! 😊🌞
My language is Yoruba, nice of you to ask.

peacefull:
Hello, purples25 chan!!
How are you and your family?

Thank you so much for your wishing to me!!!
I appreciate you!!!
I know that I'm too late to say thank you to you.
I apologies you.

I hope you and your family are good and everything is good too!!

It's okay Peacefull! Thank you for appreciating me... My family and everything is good, thanks.

I found an app called Duolingo to teach me Japanese, I am learning little by little 😊