₦airaland Forum

Imredeemed:
I understand your point, and you're right that sometimes we need to take a step back after receiving an apology and calm down. The issue here isn't about wanting excessive apologies or making a dramatic point—it’s about ensuring that this kind of disrespect doesn’t continue in the future.

If they had apologized sincerely and acknowledged their oversight, I would have tried to move on. But at the time, it felt like the issue wasn't fully recognized, and I reacted out of frustration. You’re right, though, I could have handled it better. The goal isn’t to escalate things further but to prevent this from becoming a recurring problem in the family. Thanks for your perspective—I'll keep it in mind moving forward.

Okay great, I'm sure they won't do it again. Please let peace come in as you promised.

I am glad that it is not every time that someone can get away with randomly deciding to kill another person's reputation.

Can't remember. Last year I think.

It's really going to hurt when the repercussions come for her. They last for YEARS.

The person she is doing it for doesn't even care about her or he's dumb. Showing her face and everything where the boyfriend can find it.

Ah Fals, don't tell people your escapades just to let them know you're real. Those that want to believe in you will. I know it's because of the latest controversies. You can't convince who doesn't want to believe. You'll be fine.

Tallesty1:
He is not being petty. People need to call a spade a spade. The man was sidelined and disrespected, and it’s only right that he expresses how he feels. Women often complain about mama's boys and third-party interference in marriages, but when it’s the wife going through third parties to communicate with her husband, people accuse the man of overreacting.

A major cause of divorce is uncommunicated expectations. Now that this man is expressing his feelings, instead of the wife apologizing and asking for forgiveness, she’s resorting to emotional blackmail—and people are cheering her on.

The country is hard, and there’s a lot of pressure on everyone. A man comes home after a long day of work, only to be told, "My sister, who we agreed would leave in December, is leaving tomorrow. Give us some money."

The way a message is delivered makes all the difference. If the wife had approached the issue differently, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Now, the sister-in-law is stranded on the road, and it’s the husband’s mother—who lives in another state—informing him about it, not his wife because the wife chose not to talk to him again.

I ask again—when will women start telling other women, "Sister, you messed up"?

Unless the family is an abnormal one, and they have no single bit of respect for him, definitely they must have apologized to him, yet he still stayed angry. I am not saying they are right, but after an apology, you try to calm down.

Or does he want the world to turn upside down, all his in laws come to beg, etc, before he pardons them and stops this drastic reaction which includes leaving the sister in law stranded? The punishment and drama is enough, they have gotten the message. If he reacts like this today, what happens when a larger issue is afoot? It is not every time a fly hits your balls that you give them a mighty smack to get rid of it.

iLegendd:
🙈 😂 Just say men should be SIMPs and easy to manipulate. Just talk am, we no go beat you.

I don't think a man who prioritizes his healing over choosing a hurtful manner of treating women is weak. If anything, spending money on therapy and not on some girl whose rights he's going to abuse will be beneficial to him in the long run.

-He can make up his mind to find and mix up in circles with ladies of virtue.

-He can prepare for relationships with information that does not encourage him to be abusive, while still in control, after healing.

People hurt others but it is absolutely wrong for us to go around putting the other gender beneath our boots just to feel in control again.

trium:
What about innocent ladies who fall for these bad boys

Are they naive or they are just not exposed to see how life is?

Both.

trium:
I agree with you. I think there are damaged men and women on both sides of the divide and most times they don't know. Don't you think so?

I think they know o. They know very well about their damages but revenge through bad treatment of the other gender is sweeter to them than trying to heal, which would actually be the real work.

trium:
Are you saying the bad boys or men are suffering from trauma they don't know of

Sometimes it's that, sometimes it's also insecurity or fears that simply won't allow the men to go the loving and fair way. But men should be working on healing themselves, rather than devising harmful means of handling women.

But most guys prefer violence or revenge.

You're really really petty. Making mountains out of molehills because you were not informed of every single movement. Even after being told you still acted dramatically, refusing to pay or take the lady to the park.

How will you live if you hang on to everything like this? You will just become a radical nag. Vex small and then move ahead. Giving yourself bp for nothing.

Making people become vegetarians by force.

Before a man will go ahead to be very bad to women, he will first pump himself very full with bad ideas about them. Very very evil conceptions about the characters and ways of women. It's the drug that will help him to do so much without any conscience.

I actually noticed this in real life.

Any small thing you call someone aunty or mummy. Men and age shaming.

Originalsly:
Some people see beauty in colour ... and that's much in evidence here on NL . Headline ... Beautiful Lady eats ice cream .... it will be a fair skin female ... natural/self shaded doesn't matter .... while many will be looking in vain to see the beauty in her. I guess she must either be light in complexion .... or be buried in make up to be considered not ugly. Too many cannot see natural beauty in our own sisters. But in the end .... her skin is wayyy too thin to be on SM.

They are colorists.

I was taught the hard way that people will spoil your happiness if it's in public. If you make your hair, they're going to diss it. If you are admired for your beauty, 90% of the town will come out to call you ugly. If the troublemakers are not the stars, then you can't be.

Same rule applies on nairaland.
Same rule applies on social media.

She was happy and confident, dancing on social media. Many in the public were not happy with the happiness and saw it fit to frustrate her. Devils are many. That's why I watch how I post these days or post very little at all.

Many people are not good people. They are out to steal your joy because it offends them.

.

I just want to know that the baby was rescued from the gutter.

Cool but you posted in the wrong place, try the literature section.

Do you know that people don't care?
They listen to these words and come home with a judgemental stare...
Leaving those whose sins are open wounds, bare...
To find a person who will listen to these words is rare...
The amount of shame they inflict on others determines how well they will fare...

Beauty is good. Plenty praise and admiration, but also, plenty jealousy. Beauty is so wonderful to have.

Focusmind:
You are observant and thinking. There is this woman in my neighbourhood. Her kids are in the same school with my kids but her kids were struggling academically. She kept complaining to the proprietress that the school were not doing enough to support her struggling kids. The proprietress told her that she should do her own part as the school has done their best for her kids. She should create time to also support her kids at home with home work and their studies. She said being a single parent has been tasking for her as her husband is not in Nigeria.

She didn't take the way the school responded to her lightly and withdrew them from the school and put them in a neighbourhood school with low enrolment. Each class has less than 5 people. She told me she is happy with the one- on- one attention the current school is giving her kids and they are improving.

I'm glad she got a school that has few kids so they can focus on each child. That proprietress no serious at all, with all the money being paid.

Though the mother should pitch in more, but if she's truly a single parent, that would be hard. She should also employ a lesson teacher for her kids.

blingxx:
Nigerian teachers are not paid enough to have patience with anybody they just want to teach and go home

Yes, then that means that they don't deserve the small pay they get if they won't do the job well. It's frustrating, but if you will just focus on the parents bringing money gifts and paying for extra lessons (their kids too), then what's the use of everyone, both the smart and the slow learning, coming to your school? I would have said that if a teacher feels the job isn't fulfilling enough to put his/her heart into ALL the students, then they should quit. But we both know that in Nigeria, some teachers are just there to survive. Hence traumatizing some innocent kids.

I just wish that some parents would 'wise up', and understand that without money and bribing, their slow learning children are all alone, even in a private school. Parents really just must invest in extra lessons and in furthering the other talents of their kids, and also closely mark the progress of their kids. It's not easy, but it's far less expensive than having a failed adult son or daughter for life. It's bad, just watching your kid rot because 'they are in school' leaving all concerns to the less interested, sometimes hungry teachers.

I like this story. If only every school would put in the patience to make stars of the slow students. But they often collect the fees and abandon the child. It's so sad when they focus on their star students and leave those struggling to rot.

nasbiafra:
exactlyHave a great evening

You too, a great evening to you as well.

nasbiafra:
Thank you,i should follow youi enjoyed mentioning you,we dont have to always banter each other and be toxic all the time,i did learn something though

Yes, I like when we all can debate with respect, thanks for the follow.