₦airaland Forum

Following o

annexes:
The whole campus Is flooded with cars even we pedestrians find it difficult to walk. It's just as if Toyota, Nissan, MB and other vehicle manufacturers has their factories in that school.

seyiojomu:
It can't work. How do they expect the students to commute to the far scattered lecture halls within the school premises...not all students there came across having a car by dubious means anyway. Transportation in ogbomoso is also not very subtle and the few available is unsafe. Let the school manage to provide shuttles to ease movement from the school to designated stops within the town, Unilorin did it and its not failing them.

There's shuttle actually

xreal:
You know these spaces are not enough for the students to park their cars.

Especially whenever exams approaches or during exams when all dem-dem will bring their G-wagon and Ranges.

I swear, I fear my ladokites

TonyeBarcanista:
For clarification, the reason why this subject is being discussed is due to this argument by "wives" claiming ownership of the man over membership of his family, including his mother.

Like I earlier pointed, my wife will never be treated as second tier but she should zero every attempt to place herself higher than mother in hierarchy. That I marry wont stop gists and plays I do have with my mom and siblings. They will go on as long as it takes. However, I will ensure that my wife is properly integrated in the scheme of things and carried along. I trust my mother, she treats young people like hers and she will love my wife more than she love me.

As for taking decision as a man, even as a Bachelor I make my own decision and I believe it won't change in the nearest future. I am a man of myself not a baby elephant.

Now to my kids, of course, they are my wife's kids and she has the primary duty to love and care for them just like I do. She(and myself) has FULL authority over the kids, but the higher authority remains my parents, I trust my parents, they don't take advantage of things.

BTW There is nothing I can't share with my mother whether I'm married or unmarried except other room things

Fine, all I'm saying is encourage a healthy relationship between your mom and your wife. Don't give your wife reason to compete with your mom and also, let her have a say in issues.
I did not say you shouldn't share things with your mom, I only said you should make a decision with your wife and not her.

TonyeBarcanista:
On the contrary...

Once married, my wife is upgraded to the same level of my sisters being that she has by virtue of marriage become a daughter of my mother, and part of the family.

My mother owns me and all that I have. She has the right to come to my house and live as long as she desires without needing permission or approval from me. She us the ONLY woman in the world that I know will never abandon me even in my worst. But I can't say same of my wife, I can only hope. The sacrifices and prayer my mom (and my father too) has made for me shall NEVER be inherited by another woman called wife, however, my wife will be loved and treated like a queen. But my mom remains QUEEN MOTHER While my dad, my GODFATHER.

However, it is incumbent on my wife to learn to be a good daughter and not try to upstage my mom in the order of affection in my heart because it will NEVER work. In fact, disrespecting my mom is a divorce offence... Just as I can't disrespect my mother or father...

My mother subjected herself to my father's mother, she earned the love of my father's mother even more than my father. In fact, my grandma loved my mom more than she loved my father (her son). Hence, my mom inherited the place of my grandma upon her demise and has been enjoying it. So I expect same from my wife. Women should respect hierarchy!

As for my kids, they are my mom's grandkids and subject to the authority of my mom just as I was subject to the authority of my father's mom, my grandma of blessed memory.

Meanwhile, I can't marry a woman that disrespects her mom or one that show sign of "taking over" my life from my mom.

I'm not against what you said. You will see I said the place of a wife and a mother is different, so is the love you have for each of them. What am I saying is once a man realize this, he wouldn't need to start wondering who he should love most between his mother and his wife.
And like you said, once you get married, your wife becomes your mother's daughter, which upgrades her to the level of your sisters. Don't you sometimes disagree with your mom to agree with your sisters and at other times you agree with your mom to disagree with your sisters. Those times you disagree with your mom, does that make you love her less? Or is it your sisters you love less when you disagree with them? I'm only saying a guy shouldn't have a problem with who he loves most between his mother and his wife once he realizes the importance and responsibilities of the two of them in his life. He shouldn't even show one he loves her more than the other, esp when it comes to the wife, he shouldn't show her he loves his mom than he loves her.
And of course, a wife in her right sense would see her husband's mother as her own mother and wouldn't even try to compete with her. But seriously, most times self when a wife is competing with her husband's mother, the fault is likely from the husband, it's because the husband shows her he loves his mom more than he do love her. You might love your mom more than your wife, but never show it.
You need to understand that once you get married, there's a limit to which you can be a mama's boy. Some decisions are to be made by you and your wife and not you and your mother, some stuffs are to be shared with your wife and not mother, by so doing, you would even encourage a healthy relationship between the two.
And you also talked about your kids. No doubt, your kids belong to your mother, she's their grandmother, but do not forget your wife is their mother. The same way your mother taught you what's right and wrong, prayed for you, protect you, scold you, cared for you, is the same way you should allow your wife have a say over her kids. The truth is no matter how caring, awesome and wonderful their grandmother is to them, she would never understand them like their mother would. There's just this Natural connection between a child and the mother. Trust me, it's so easy for a child to hate the grandparents, even the father but you will agree with me it takes a lot before a child can hate the mother. So to me, your wife rather than your mom should have the first say when it comes to your kids. Even you, when it comes to your kids should have a say over them than your mother does. Yes, your kids are subject to the authority of your mother but that comes after they are already subjected to that of you and your wife.

Actually, this thing shouldn't be a problem.
Once you understand that your wife is different from your mother and you have different responsibilities towards them and also you understand that the kind of love you have for your wife is different from the one you have for your mother, then you are good to go. You actually won't have a problem thinking of who you love most between them and when it comes to issh between them, you would be able to handle it very well like a man.
Thinking of who you love most between your mom and your wife is thinking of who you love most between your mom and your kids, I bet not many people have that thought. Many guys tends to forget that once you get married, your wife now answers your surname, she becomes a part of you. So thinking of who you love most between your wife and mom is like thinking of who you love most between yourself and your mom, it's kind of a stupi.d thought right?