₦airaland Forum

LadyFiona:
Others are saying their minds, proffering a likely solution but you have to come in with your renowned bitterness to swing this thread into a pointless feminist debate.
I am presuming, you will probably ask your wife for a repeat, with you acting as a cuckold husband offering handshakes to the other participants if you're the op.

Adultery is enough ground for divorce in Christian marriage but I wish sincerely that this psychosexual deviant husband of op will come to terms with his God given senses and turn a new leaf, and remember the sanctity of his marriage he is trying so hard to destroy. This is premeditated, if it has been murder, he will be kissing freedom goodbye.

Op, do what you gotta do.

If there is someone you don't want advice from. its Dinachi. He's very irrational. You can tell he's aggressive. All his post are derogatory to women. He's a woman hater who thinks he's above women and should be worshipped for having a dick.

I wish nairaland would have a female positive board where we can talk and share and give advice to women. Misogyny is so rampant on this website. It's becoming hard to ignore.

Some gold from Dinachi

A woman was severely abused with proof of pictures. Dinachi's response

All these female rotten puccies should shut the Bleep up. Until we hear from the highly reputed Man of God, I will not dignify that cursed woman with any any response

To think that some poor woman is married to this thing is scary.

GodnGold:
OP, just thread carefully.
At first divorce will be the best thing to do,at first.
But once you are divorced,reality sets in.
It hits u on d face like harmattan wind from nsukka.
Have u thought of how to take care of the kids?
who gets custody?
where do u go from here?
And don't say ur parents,because they will get tired of having you around in a month.
What of the emotional trauma this will cause your kids?
If he begged you,let it go.
Is not gonna be easy honey,but with time.
Honestly,trusting will be hard.
The love dimnishes.
You are sick to your stomach when you want to have sex with him.
The thoughts...oh the thoughts.
For the sake of our lovely kids...Please. Please.
And pretty please.

Oga wasn't thinking of the lovely kids when he was getting his prick wet. Lol!
She will get the kids for sure because African men love to absolve themselves from parental responsibilities.
Rarely will you meet a single dad.

like I always say to people like OP, sit down and strategize long term. Plan and pick the best for you. A depressed, sick and heartbroken mother is not also good for the kids.

Even if you forgive him, it won't change anything. If you plan to keep this marriage. You have to plan for the future.Op, get a job or start saving from what hubby is giving you. Learn a skill. Visit a lawyer that deals in divorce and child support. Know what you are entitled to. Make sure that if anything happens, you and your kids are secure financially.Keep friends for emergencies.

what happens when hubby decides to leave you for the other woman? Plan, think, strategize.

Those tittiess are perfect!!

I love Miley Cyrus. She's sweet and pretty.
I always have a soft spot for blondes though.

Her sexuality is not my concern.

olajorn:
that's not a marraige proposal..he just want to have access to limpopop...am sure the guy is btw 25 and 30


*check profile*
see boobs

You like them?

I have rejected a marriage proposal.
Reason: I was 17

Radoillo:
What shocked me the most when I first saw that picture was the date. 1958?! They still had human zoos as recently as 1958?

I think the last human zoo in Belgium closed in the 1920's (not saying its better) but 1958 is wrong

hotdi:
I luv Raayah...her lips

Love you too. If we ever meet, I owe you a kiss

When will Nigerian men (Not all) learn to take responsibility for their actions.
A grown man will decide to have unprotected sex regularly knowing the consequences.
I literally do not understand how white men come into this matter.
We are blaming white men for Nigerian artistes not wrapping up their dicks?

I give up!!

Probably spam bot. Have you messaged the mods yet?

according to the Bible, Believing in Yahweh is the only way to heaven.
So yes, you may be the best person on earth but if you don't believe in Yahweh, You go to hell fire

people opt in and out of religion regularly

anwo247:
You didn't disagree with the OP, you actually agreed. Misunderstood feminism, is a kind of feminism. A lot more are even practicing this kind than what it should be. Educating men and women equally is good enough but that would never convert a man to a woman. Marriage is between a man and a woman and not fellow women. In an effort to explain this natural creation to women, they see the men as bossy. How can the house girl ebthe one that will serve my food? Monday to Friday and spilling into weekends? I would rather remain bachelor.... some demand that you cook for them; try to marry me so i will be cooking for you in the name of equal rights!

The marriage of our parents were so successful because the women agreed to be women. And I asked my mum if she was happy with my dad or she was busy enduring him, she said she was very happy living with a man who is a man. Dad left 15yrs ago to the great beyond and mum still talks about him like daily basis even at 86yrs old! Feminism has robbed women of successful marriages.

I think people like you deliberately miss the point. In my issue about feminism, I never ever spoke about neglecting children or even spouse. I spoke about rape , domestic violence, education, child support for women's, reproductive rights and sexual harassment.

Tallesty1:
It doesn't bother, I won't date a modern feminist because I don't pierce my body with many sorrows, remember I started in my misconception thread that I don't want what will give me troubles in the future?. The goodnews is that a feminist won't like me too so it doesn't bother me.

I added it in my list because it is truly breaking marriages out there.

Thank you for turning the argument to a normal discussion, we would make more sense when we write to educate instead of to win.

I will be glad if you point out my mistakes because what I am going to write is are my personal opinion, what I know, think and feel about feminism and y'know, I could be wrong.

Feminism, ie the first wave feminism unlike the modern day feminism fought equal rights of women. It was purposeful and legitimate. They worked tirelessly for the rights of women. They wanted women to be seen not as man’s underlings, but as their equals in the eyes of the law.

That is the feminism we all will gladly support.

They stood for something, they fought for voting rights, women's right to buy property and demanding that females not be treated like second class citizens.

But Today's Feminism? .

Is all about victim mentality. They are daily promoting victim mentality, and blaming everyone else for their own problems. They want to do anything they wish but do not want to held responsible for their actions.

I remember a thread where I tried to raise an issue about educating girls on "anti-rape-defense". My dear come see bashing.

They said I was promoting rape and rape guilt in victims. I parked well.

Men do get raped but feminism blame them for it. They taunt and mock them and that's why it is difficult for men to report rape issues.

Modern day feminism is no longer about equality... It's about supremacy. Women used to fight for freedom and equality, but now they're looking for every possible means to unsurp power from men and trample on them. It is not wrong to assume that devil has taken over the movement.

The first movement fought for equal right but today's movement are on revenge mission.

It is full double standards. When a woman hits a man she is independent, yet when a man hits a woman he is a heartless bastard.

I think feminism has gradually turned to a hate group. It's not about equality anymore, now it's about gaining more benefits for women than that of men.

Feminism has become so complicated and messy that your feminism is not always my feminism. It has turned to a rude and nasty movement that is more interested in trashing people's views and opinions.

If the movement really accepts equality, then you and the girl that I quoted would not tell me that my views are wrong, you would accept it and let me be.

Most feminist I have chatted with on here are full of contradictions that do not align with feminist doctrine. Majority of them are just confused

Do you know why it seems like I abhor modern day feminism? It is because feminism has gone from creating more options for women to stereotyping what a women should be and do.

While a woman in the Middle East was stoned to death because her family objected to her marriage, some confused feminists of the free world were busy demanding that they be allowed to post pictures of their nipples on Instagram.

While bokoharam is forcing women into forced marriage and slavery, and sending them on suicide mission, feminists were busy demanding to be allowed to patrol the streets unclad.

There was a hashtag that tended on twitter sometime ago. #KillAllMen. It was a protest to stop men from spreading their legs in public buses and benches.

Feminist say they are not men hating group but that want to kill all men because a handful of them spread their legs on public benches.

Feminism movement have been altered and abused beyond repair.

American feminism is radical. They have gone over-board and I don't even call myself a feminist anymore in North america because I cannot associate myself with such evil.
However Nigeria feminism is a whole different ball game

Tallesty1:
You made valid points there but it doesn't change the fact that women do hide under the cover of feminism to wreck marriages, and that is why it made the list.

In fact, the fact that you wrote this long epistle without acknowledging even in one sentence that Nigerian men do suffer from the hands of their women is the height of hypocrisy and another reason why feminism is said to be one sided which contradicts the equal right movement that they claim to fight for.

Talking about 12yrs old girls that take care of the household.

I started doing feminine domestic works when I was very small. My mom stopped cooking when I was 9 and the responsibility fell on me. I had an elder sister(rip) who was in school and I still cooked even when she was around.

I continued until I left home even though my younger sister and cousin were there but I didn't mind.

There's absolutely no domestic work meant for women that I didn't do while growing up and I know many of my male friends who did the same thing.

Just like I stated in my main post, which you also confirmed was right with this your comment that Nigeria feminism teaches women that they are in bondage which is not true.

Nigerian feminism do know acknowledge that men suffer from women.

They do not fight for equal rights for men and women and that's why it is being condemned.

You talk about men divorcing women but you never mentioned that women divorce men at will too.

Why haven't you feminist lots contacted the Nigeria Army to tell them to send more female soldiers to maidugri?

I hope you watched the video of Solange slapping Jayz.

That answers your question about men slapping women.

In Nigeria, women slap men at will because it is wrong to hit a woman.

Enough said.

So all the posts reaching frontpage on nairaland about Nigerian men saying they will beat their wives on slightest provocation? Some even saying that they beat their wives? Or about women dying from DV? You haven't heard of situations where mothers/brothers/sisters in laws join in beating the wife? Yes I have heard and seen as a Nigerian woman.

This is why its a womens issue. Its very easy for men to say otherwise, deny these problems that women specifically face. Its easy for men to say " but I know how to boil rice" so these issues don't bother me. Your one or two examples does not invalidate the millions of women who are going through hell. Wives, mothers and sisters know how it is because women share within themselves.

Solange slapping Jayz is a very American issue. in America, they have surpassed feminism. This is why I stated that Nigerian feminism and American feminism are different in the beginning.
Women divorcing men in Nigeria is as rare as day. You will notice that the front page posts about Divorce in Nigeria are about very ridiculous reasons that no one can take . Look at examples.
https://www.nairaland.com/2713388/husband-fondles-19-year-old-daughters-breasts - husband seeking divorce (adultery )
https://www.nairaland.com/2700827/pastor-seeks-dissolution-32-year-marriage/ - husband seeking ddivorce (domestic violence)
https://www.nairaland.com/2680439/mother-7-impregnated-another-man - husband seeking divorce (adultery )
These posts were made in the last two weeks. These men seeking divorce are leaving for the same reason that they tell naija women to stay.

I think we have confused American feminism with Nigerian (much needed) feminism.

I cannot believe that people are blaming feminist for rape occurrences. Maybe we should blame all Muslims for 9/11 attacks or all Christains should be blamed for Holocaust or All Africans as scammers but I digress.

With a snap of finger, your husband can decide to push you dependant woman and kids outt. You are entitled to zilch in this country.. No alimony no child support. All these men on nairaland will be the same to tell you why are you depending on your husband. Try being a widow in Nigeria.
I remember a story a young woman put on nairaland, she was in a dilemma, she earned 100k + health benefits for family monthly, husband earned 40k. She had run out of time for maternity leave. Her husband would never quit his job and if she quit her job, she would not afford rent or health insurance if said baby became sick. She hadn't found a nanny and she was in despair. The sensible thing would have been for her husband to quit his job , but NOT IN NIGERIA, you know men and their egos. We just consoled her in family section and gave little bits of advice. This is why most women in Nigeria have to work! Why are there married women with kids hawking pure water, why didn't they just sit in their husband's house? An insult to career women is an insult to all women who are suffering and saving to raise their kids.


What about reproductive rights? Women have zilch in Nigeria.Where can you get condoms, contraceptives pills or cheap birth control for women? Child support nko? If a man impregnates a woman, he can leave and never return. Society will forever shame her for having sex. Forgetting about the men. Sexual harassment nko? Try studying in a Nigerian university as a female, you can be there for extra years just because you refuse to suck a man's dicck?

What about rape? A young 12 year old was continuously raped by a 70-something grandpa the other day. Nairaland said the girl was at fault because she collected money from the man. Some even said she seduced him. LOL.!!Even women were supporting.

What of domestic violence against women . One thread,a young courageous man stood in front of his abusive father who was hitting his mom and nairaland consensus was that the son should have done nothing because perhaps the woman Was NAGGING.
Now imagine if it was reversed, a woman slapped the man. She will definitely regret her actions.

What about infidelity and infertility. Try being infertile in Nigeria, you will be laced with insults and called all kinds of names. A woman is told day in and out that she has to stick with her cheating husband but God forbid she cheats. Are we going to talk about women that have been discarded because they don't have male children? Even though Science has proven time after time that men are the determinants of a baby's sex.

What about responsibility: An average 12 year old girl in Nigeria is cooking, fetching water. sweeping and washing everyone's clothes by hand giving her little time to study because you better train her for a man instead. The average 12 year old boy is washing cars at most. these man-banies then grow up and demand that women spoon-feed them daily because they have been trained that way. Your average married man cannot cook a pot of soup.


Can we stop people from being evil? NO!! But feminism seeks to educate people especially women that we have choices, we are not objects and we need to be treated fairly by men and the society

dipopooo:
Smh! Imagine these guys ar some pple's role models oo. Givin birth out of wedlock is nw a fashion in our society. Most our girls lack moral, no shame dey fuvk around like dogs.


Our youth celebrate mediocrity everywhere.

What about the men that these girls are doing?? No accountability for them? Maybe if these men were faithful and kept to one partner, there would be no baby mamas. Most of our men lack morals, dey fukk around like dogs.

Not speaking at all is better than telling lies

Most Nigerians know how to speak English, Yoruba, Igbo and other foreign languages fluently.

I don't understand how a white man speaking Igbo makes him better than a Nigerian .

Madam, all I want to tell you is that your man cheating is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Forget all those people blaming you.
How is it your fault that your husband can't keep his private part in check.
I will advice you to calm Down, take a look at all the options available and choose the best one for yourself.

Judas2013:
Kumuyi the fraudster who has ripped millions of people of their hard earned money

One of his sons married outside the church rules and is scared to declare himself an Atheist.

Kumuyi proposed marriage to his 2nd wife before his first wife died.

Kumuyi has got to be one of the ugliest human beings alive

kumuyi is responsible for destroying and enslaving millions of young Nigerians.

I actually think he's handsome

ApexTitan:
^

The reason why these threads "degenerate" to this level is because people are now aware that these kinds of threads are created not to proffer solutions to the problems of women but to make the woman feel special as a victim. If any other demographic or group came out to cry how difficult things are for them in the country they would be told to suck it up and dismissed. With all the hardship that women experience in this country they still somehow manage to outlive the men - that should give an indication who is really the hardest hit.

This is a womens thread discussing women's issues. should we should shut up because you don't think its a problem.?
No one is playing victim in this thread. The things that OP listed, are they false?
So because women outlive men, we don't have issues? All other issues should be trivialized?
Its like telling someone with a broken leg to stop crying because someone else has two broken legs.

About comprising . Nobody is perfect, we sometimes have to accept and overlook their flaws. There is always compromise in relationships.
I don't think women should starve themselves but its important to keep a healthy weight for health issues.

Overall, I love your list!! 9/10!!!

The bird flu issue is a serious one! South Africa has a right to protect its citizens.

This is not fair at all.
How can you sack people without severance pay?
Government should do something.

“I think that the severity of punishment for rape, with particular reference to statutory variety, should rank next to capital punishment,” adding that having carnal knowledge of a girl under 14 years, with or without her consent or having carnal knowledge of a girl with unsound mind should be treated with all the seriousness it deserves

Eh,. Please add that for men too! An adult having sex with any person below 14(with or without consent) should be severely punished.
In short i think, you should change 14 to 16.
No rapists should go scot free. If you cannot control your urges, you deserve to be locked up.

bushdoc9919:
HMMMM

Many years ago, a baby was dumped somewhere in Lagos.

Said baby grew up and became a top government official,and much later...a big captain of business.

I wonder what the parents of that child would have done if they could have seen the man he would have become.

When you throw away blessing.....

One example out of the thousands of babies that get discarded every month does not cut it.

The solution to this problem is to give women more reproductive rights in this country.

There are hardly any places to get female condoms, contraceptive pills are also hard to get , plan B for emergencies have been banned, abortion is illegal, the government does not place emphasis on child support, and there are not a lot of places to drop off unwanted children.

If a partner refuses to wear a condom or denies the child, a woman is left on her own without support. Factor in postpartum depression and it becomes crazy.

We need reproductive rights for women in Nigeria.

Olufemiolaolu:
U re so naive.

Interesting point of view

Trypa:
It happens and that motherless home? They r her family

I understand. its just my thinking that most motherless babies home are usually filled with young kids waiting for adoption or being raised. That's why I was skeptical. If he wants to give money out to orphanage sure but I won't call it bride price. Neither will the orphanage.

No one here is making demands.
The APC promised the good people of Nigeria, that they would give N5000 monthly to the unemployed.

I remembered several threads were opened showing that these programs were not economically feasible. They were shut down and called wailers.

APC never had any real plans for Nigeria. They still do not have plans in place to fix education, roads, electricity, health care, job creation e.t.c. We are in for a very bumpy ride.