₦airaland Forum

Toyo, u definitely have a right to ur opinion. . lol No one stopped you and can stop you.

The issue of her doing it in "her husband's home" is better ignored because this is a deliberate act only in her stepmum's house. This is why I strongly believe there's more to this story. My own 2 cents too

One and only TOH How are you my love?

We'll talk on the mesg tmrw 'cause I'll soon hit my bed. "Is all ova" for this night

TOYOSI20:
If u've been able to endure her difficult and unyielding behaviour i think u should be able to bear it for a little bit more!!

Have you thought about the girl enduring to her last breath? We've only heard from the stepmum, we haven't heard the girl's side of the 'flawless relationship'.

TOYOSI20:
Hopefully she's be able to continue her attitude in her "husbands" home!!!!

Seems you haven't read all the posts.

" whort iz the meaning of all dis Jakilin"?

Greencard will not kill Nigerians! Nonsense!

What a joker! Go find urself a doll to play with abeg. . .

Oluchia,
you may know people who have step this, step that but I personally have a stepmum. I have no problem with her at all. Respect is reciprocal. You don't demand for it, you earn it. My r/ship with my stepmum is different from what y'all are saying here.
I've seen other families like mine and all this defence mechanism you talking about don't exist. It's just the way the woman handles things from day one that matters. You don't treat your step children like trash and treat your bio-children like eggs and expect everyone to be equally happy.Children are smarter than you think.

For this lady to blatantly refuse to do house chores in her stepmum's house but does them at other's says a lot. That's my point basically. She's old enough and mature too. This is not a case of "defence mechanism".

What if this lady used to clean up after the step brothers n sisters (obviously younger than her) and their mother never said a word? Do you think she will continue like that all her life? It could be one of the reasons why she has refused to help in the domestic work. This is just an example so don't quote me, pls.

I understand it's not easy living with all this step whatever but if all parties involed treat each other with respect, there won't be room for threads like this. Everyone deserves respect even the youngest child on earth.

Why do we like creating problems for ourselves? It's just like saying that it's not a must you live together while married, what is important is that you're married.

If one of you don't compromise then I guess the "very good relationship" will be ruined.

I personally think it's a stupid reason to end a relationship. The women have always had to bear their husbands name so why do we want to twist it around and create unnecessary problems? This is not one of those women's right issues abeg. . . lol

So basically, Nigerians are animals?

Winnergal:
It takes 3 to engage in triangle love

Oh well, it might have been the word the guy was actually looking for and not tangle. . . rofl  

Funny people. . . Tangle ko, triangle ni

LMAO! It won't be viewed as a yardstick bro. . .rofl. You're so funny, honestly. 

When you make little things seem big then it becomes a big deal. If your tongue, finger and penis go inside her, what's the problem with washing her underwears? She's ur woman so stop making it sound ridiculous.

However, the fact that you wash them don't mean you're wrapped around her finger.

KIDD:
so many unbelievable excuses.

I know what you mean.

wha da??

Iranoladun:
So how do you reconcile with her if you are in my shoe or resolve this problem?

It may seem difficult but if you swallow your pride and call her privately and talk to her, I'm sure she'll melt and open up. It may not work the first time you try but if you keep trying it will definitely work. Words break people, believe me.
Don't get upset if she doesn't respond the way you expected. Don't flare up and tell her how ungrateful she is and how irresponsible she is and so on. . . Just calm down and swallow your pride. See it as an opportunity to reconcile and love again and not an opportunity to[i] ask her why she's so mean and ungrateful for all you've done for her.[/i]

Apologise for whatever you've done to her, both the ones you're aware of and the ones you're not. Once you break this ice between you two you'll see how happily you'll live together. She may even become your best friend/ daughter. Like they say, there's a thin line between love and hate. Patience, humility and love will definitely bring this to an end.

Just play your part as her mother and not as her guardian. All the best

Iranoladun:
I also wish she could tell us all what sins I committed. This is a girl that I brought up like my own daughter, mended the bad relationship between her and father, gave her moral and financial support from secondary school up till now that she's running a PG programme @29yrs without expecting anything in return but even general household chores she declines to partcipate in! Sometimes this becomes too much for me to bear especially when I know I haven't done anything to warrant her peculiar behaviour. I've talked to her as a mother, others have also did likewise but she refused to change, if at all there is the law of Karma/nemesis I believe I'd surely be vindicated. Like some people said I initially consoled myself that she'd soon get marry and go but it appears of late marriage is not on her agenda

I believe the girl is not dumb. If she has refused to help you out, she has a reason. The big question is why does she do it at other people's house and refuses to do it in ur house?  You can help her financially because of your husband but that doesn't mean you have a good relationship with her. Giving her moral support and what not is not the issue. The issue is how you do it. The way to advise her, talk to her etc. Do you talk to her with love or you just talk to her like she were trash all in the name of "advice". People are very sensitive and words can penetrate deeper than you think. You guys have issues together and it could be pride that is blocking your reconciliation.

Me believes there's a hole somewhere.

Iranoladun:
gave her moral and financial support from secondary school up till now that she's running a PG programme @29yrs without expecting anything in return

Why would you even say something like this? Do you train your children well because you expect something in return from them apart from the honour you deserve as their mother? 

Iranoladun:
Like some people said I initially consoled myself that she'd soon get marry and go but it appears of late marriage is not on her agenda

LOL. . . you really want her to get married, huh? Why? Will that solve the problem between you two? Why don't you find a way to reconcile with her and live in peace instead of waiting so eagerly for her to get married to whoever I'm sure.
If it were your bio-daughter will you be praying that she leaves your house asap because you don't get along?

OP, have you asked yourself what's behind her not doing chores in your home but does at other's? Doesn't it say much to u? I seriously believe there's something you're not telling us. You mean she does this on purpose just to hurt you without a good reason? I doubt it!
This is not a matter of her being a lazy woman. She knows how to do the things you want her to do and you said she does them perfectly well. If she doesn't do them in your house then there's a serious reason for such decision which you and her know very well. May be her father is even unaware.

Besides, from what you're telling us, she doesn't live with you guys. She only visits.
She refuses deliberately you said, there must be and there is a reson for that. Check yourself and your past together.

Iranoladun:
if she is my biological daughter she dares not! However if she refuse to live by my housekeeping rules then I will ask her to leave.

Are you indirectly telling us the kind of mother u are? Ask ur daughter to leave and go where? Are you OK?

Check yourself woman and stop sounding all "good" and "tolerant" and what not. Tell us ur bad side that has made this girl want to hurt you deliberately. If all was well between you two she wouldn't be living this decision.

_{Wish the girl could get a chance to tell her own side of the story.}

I thought Seun got rid of 'em gay community on NL? Y'all still floating abt, huh?

LOL. . . your mother must be one never to be desired.

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=244495.msg3562004#msg3562004 date=1236470422]Where the heck have u been??
I had all the secret services looking for you last year.
So good to see you here. . . .whatz cracking??[/quote]hehehe. . .u know the S.services can only find me if only I want to be found. . .
Good to see u too. I see u still on fire in dis land. . .  
My end is very good. Things moving on well. . .

Hope you doing well too.

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=244495.msg3561927#msg3561927 date=1236469136]Radiannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnt??
I have just seen a ghost. [/quote]Lmao! J, what's up? Long time, huh? well, I ain't no ghost. It's me for real. . .

Doyin, how now? Gosh! Long time y'all. . .

What a topic!

I be seeing lotsa crazy stuff on NL recently. What's going on people? 

If you called someone a monkey jokingly I would understand but Man, you just blew the roof off!! Monkey know who born am. . . LMAO 

ROFL. . . I really wonder why people take this dude serious. . .

This topic is pathetic and at the same time rib cracking  

Rofl. . . what a clown!!

Radiant needs no apology.

Aussie:
@Radiant,

You must be a witch or winch with the assurance you have displayed with this your brazil stuff. Maybe u are just crazy about that and u think we are fools here. All those scheduled to travel with him and other members of the diplomatic corps still have their asses here in Naija and u are here decieving your children you brought up in nairaland. I will bann u soon.
mess your smelly ass!!!

I'm sure if I gave more details you'll hang yourself. You don't have to believe me. I'm just stating what I know for sure. Like I said before, I won't be deceived this time around. Ya'dua and co arrived Sao Paulo yesterday.

I don't know about the "diplomatic corps" or whatever but Ya'dua is definitely not in Nigeria.

Ya'dua is currently in Brazil, believe me!! Forget what the media spreads. They've probably been told what to say to the public.

I can't be deceived in this one. He may have been sick days or weeks ago but as for Ya'dua in Brazil now, that is a sure dollar!

My source is direct and not media based.

Good gracious Jesus!!! So this is how we read the news everyday without knowing exactly what we are believing??

Please, Ya'dua is currently in Brazil with his entourage. I know someone who travelled with him and I even spoke with the person a few hours ago from Brazil.

Won't give more details but please people Ya'dua is not "sick again". Wow!

So menstruation and ovulation occur at the same time?

Please she can't get pregnant but you sure don't mean to have unprotected sex during her period

lmao