Ralvy's Posts
Nairaland Forum › Ralvy's Profile › Ralvy's Posts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 (of 72 pages)
@Poster; Wrong 1, Y'all have tu Read DIZ https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-75720.0.html ![]() |
Migines: ![]() |
lol, sorry! Migines ![]() |
Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill's wife Sue, legs spread wide, wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well, indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the financial as well as the moral costs of this offer, John indicates that he is indeed interested. She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2.00 Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house for the planned time with Sue at 2:00 PM sharp and after paying her the agreed sum of $500, they went to the bedroom and closed their sexual transaction as Sue had promised. Afterwards, John quickly dressed and left. As usual, Bill came home from work at 6:00 PM and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly, "Did John come by the house this afternoon?" A little worried, Bill's wife answered, "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon." Her heart nearly stopped when her husband curtly asked," And did he give you $500?" In terror, she assumed that somehow he had found out, and after mustering up her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500." Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back." |
Its on the Thread, check it out ![]() |
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!" His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's ass and say, 'How about a little sex?', and she's always sound asleep." |
oh u criuz?? I'd post anothr 1 ryt away! ![]() |
Thats ryt minges ![]() |
talk2ahmed: ![]() |
I see, U spend ur time findn jokes all over the web, ![]() Good 1 ![]() |
Rich Dad:@Rich Dad; I posted a link, Nairaland cannot hold that file! |
One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked a question, and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man out to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?" The father replied "From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law." |
yh! she sure has ![]() |
Migines:Did u mean Virus Infected ![]() |
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. "Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president did. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The President asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand." |
@Poster; Scan ur Brain No Offence ![]() |
T-pain - Buy u a Drank (Shawty Snappin) |
@Wetlove; Correct Shiznit, Thanks for that link ![]() |
[s]I just purchase a soft ware, it was the best software I spent my money on . I will lik to know other fellow Nairalandise opinion on the best software they had spent their money on.[/s] POOR YOU, LEAVE THAT EVIL EMPIRE, GO THE LINUX WAY |
Here's something I want to share with all of you. If I am not wrong, about 4-5 years ago, I've got a friend telling me how much fun he had by scanning the whole college network for shared folders. He was able to discover so many important files and also did many bad things by deleting important files from My Documents and also destroying Windows by deleting Windows system files. I was totally against that because who knows that the poor guy/girl spent many weeks to complete an assignment and was about to hand over to the lecturer but found out that it's GONE! For people who don't know nuts about repairing own laptops, they'd have to fork out extra money just to get their Windows fixed or reinstalled. My friend could have been the good guy in placing a note in the shared folder to warn them about the danger of sharing but he had an evil sick and twisted mind instead. So I am here to warn you about the danger of sharing folders on the network and I am going to show you how easy it is to scan the whole network, or even the whole Internet for shared folders.If you didn't know, sharing a folder on the Network is VERY easy. Just right click any folder or even your drive, select "Sharing and Security" and all it takes to share is by checking the "Share this folder on the network" checkbox. That leaves the folder open for everyone to access. Checking another box "Allow network users to change my files" lets anyone on the network to create and delete files in the shared folder. Most common mistake that a lot of people make after sharing the folder to the network is forgotten to unshare it. Unchecking the checkboxes will unshare the folder. If you want to know what folders are being shared by you, use Computer Management to show you all your shared folders. Go to Control Panel -> Administrative Tools -> Computer Management and expand System Tools -> Shared Folders -> Shares. The ADMIN$, C$, and IPC$ is shared by default. You do not need to worry about that. Here are a few steps you can take to protect yourself from intruders in getting in your shared folders.1. Unshare the shared folder after you're done sharing the file to another person.2. Use a money dollar sign $ at the end of the Share name to hide shared folders from being displayed publicly 3. Use NetShareMonitor to notify you when someone is accessing your shared folders.4. Use a "router" instead of direct connect to the Internet as it gives you a layer of protection against intruders. Works only at Home.5. Do not use Simple File Sharing. Go to Control Panel -> Folder Options -> click the View tab, and uncheck "Use simple file sharing". 6. Finally, a decent firewall can protect you from intruder. Now I'll show you how easy and fast it is for an intruder to scan for open shared folders in network or Internet. There are many types of security scanners but I am going to use a simple, small and fast tool called "Angry IP Scanner" to scan hundreds and thousands of computers for shared folders. I downloaded the latest Angry IP Scanner and also the Windows Shares plugin. I ran a test scan on a range of IP addresses and found a few victims that has some folders being shared. I simply use the Windows method of access another computer \\IP or \\HOSTNAME. In this case, I enter \\218.208.224.16 in Windows RUN and hit the OK button. Within seconds, a window box appears displaying the shared folders. I can now access the victim shared My Documents folder and "maybe" even have the rights to change, add or delete files. See how easy it is for an intruder to access your shared folders? Stop being a victim and start protecting yourself. See Screenshots at my Blog http://nerve-it..com Netshare Monitor can be downloaded here: http://www.novell.com/coolsolutions/tools/downloads/NetShareMonitor.zip and Angry IP Scanner here; http://ipscan.sourceforge.net/ipscan.exe |
yh! thanx last poster; I suspect it's a Trap, |
Saddam:What the hell's that??-??-??-?? @Poster; What antivirus d'u use?? I experienced a similar virus, but in my case - the computer comes on and starts laughing at me; and the volume option is not available, Try this, Type "msconfig" (withtout quotes) in the run box from the Start menu, select the Startup Tab and Uncheck non Windows Start up services, reboot and run a full virus scan; I recommend AVG, Kapersky and/or Avast ![]() If that does not solve ur problem, I suspect the sound was brought on by a hardware malfunction, maybe they is a partial contact inside the system, it could be that the wires from the laptop speakers are rubbing the Plastic protecting the fan; that was what happened on a system I was repairing, See |
iice, hw'z u?? |
China ba |
I see u're getting too many responses telling you to do different things, you're probably confused at this point. I thnk u shuld just download Xilisoft 3gp Video Converter, Blaze Media Pro or even Fruity loops, When u are about tu convert, you can set the time the song shuld start from and when it should end, I will get a link to one of the softwares for you. If u dnt mind, u can just tell me the name of the song and what you want me to do to it, the start time and end time, and I will email the edited song to u. ![]() |
That's True, I have forgotten that APN, I think it's web.gprs.mtnnigeria.net for Abuja, I'm just guessing ![]() |
@Saddik; d'u use starcomms?? What technology, PCMCIA, USB ![]() Download and Upload speed ![]() |
Please be more elaborate, it depends on the kind of connection u used, I hope u r nt using the mesh topology which makes all the systems have the same status, such networks are very difficult to trouble shoot, I am guessing u are using a small area network just to connect networking devices, I also hope u have not crossed boundaries, the type of cable u are using matters, If it is the thinnet (10base2), the Layin shuld nt be more than 100metres or there about, u shuld do this only if u are using the thicknet (10base5) coaxial cables or u will realise allenuation (signal loss), Repost the subject elaborating every single thing, the kind of cables used and also let us know if a single cable is run through out the network as a backbone and also how the computers are linked up, Please answer these questions when replying; 1. Is Printer and File Sharing still active? 2. Does the Server connect to the Internet? 3. How long is the cabling? I am looking forward tu ur post ![]() |
Trendy, help me see ooo |
snazzydawn: Pleasssseeee, Y'all shuld cut the crap, aiiight!!! ![]() @Ndi; I think Snazzy wasnt been as rude as u thnk she was; y'all shuld stop diz, it's uncalled for, Peace Out ![]() |
LOLZ, LOL---- Thank God I'm nt alone! ![]() |
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 (of 72 pages)




