₦airaland Forum

CarlosTheJackal:
are you in Lagos ?

SapaProMax:
People on steady salary are hardly keeping body and soul. For those who are unemployed and without wages, be honest, how are you surviving?

Hendrixky:
I cash out everyday

Hendrixky:
Follow me for more sure odd

Badassniggga:
Picture and videos of what exactly? Of Naira Marley killing or poisoning Mohbad? Of him sending assassins to murder mohbad? What evidence and you talking about exactly? Abeg make all of una rest already cos the noise is already getting irritating to most of us. I even got mad when I saw jobless youths protesting upandan on a celebrity's death but couldn't do same towards the government. Crying shame.

Maria96:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CwqlI-7ohca/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
Wahala

Workch:
The picture below is a drone picture of where my family house is located in Ibeku, Umuahia.
We came to Lagos to do business, it does not mean that we go back to trees when we say we are going to the village.r

Creamcrest:
It must be the handiwork of our fake Jews brothers.

Na so dem dey do in every asian countries of the world.

JennyJossie:
Your advice pls at 29 to 30 some one is ready to marry you and also promise to train you in school, but you are not sure. And one of your relative said he will train you in school, and you are sure about it but on the conditions that you must let go of marriage issues. Which one will you go for

Flows001:
Moderators please push this to front page.

My first post on nairaland, so please pardon any error.

Good morning everyone, so let me just go straight to the point.

My elder sister has been dating this guy for more than a year now, she became pregnant months into the relationship and he begged her to keep the child, that he was going to marry her.
So she did and about two months ago, she gave birth to a boy.
Just like he said, he started making moves to marry her, she took him to see my uncle (because our dad is late), alongside with one of his brothers, they also went to see some of my aunties; as well as my Mum. So basically everyone knows them together in our extended family, as well as the street where my sister stays (she resides in Enugu State), because he usually goes to spend time with her and I must admit that he has been really nice to her and made sure she has been comfortable and never lacked anything.
Along the line, my sister started suspecting that this her husband to be has been avoiding picking up strange numbers calling him, she asked him but he told her not to worry.
Fast forward to earlier this week, she stumbled upon a text he received from one unsaved number, the text was begging him to allow the sender to atleast come visit him, apparently; this same guy was already married before and already had two grown children before he left the marriage for reasons which she didn't tell me, so his children have been making efforts to reach their father as their mother went to dump them with his brothers and went her way..

When my sister confronted him, he had to open up to her and apologised, stating that he wanted to start another life and couldn't tell her from the beginning because he didn't want to lose her..

Now my sister is in a dilemma, their traditional marriage was scheduled to hold by the end of this year and he has already started making efforts to officially pay her bride price.
Her two options are:
1. Leave him and become a single mother at this young age (she's a student of NOUN and does business which he supported her to expand).
2. Stay with him and accommodate the children from his former wife.

Please advice 🙏🙏🙏

Hassanmaye:
You are just lucky

EriMma1:
I've been observing this for some time now. Once a couple has lived together for ten years,
the closeness between them reduces. As in.. the man no longer sits with the wife to gist or even play. Meanwhile, you'll still see the woman trying to bond and wanting her man to always be around her.

I noticed this in one couple. In fact they are pastor and Mrs. The woman always follows the man every where and wants to sit where he's sitting but the man would clearly avoid her and go out of sight completely when the tailing becomes too much and only come back when the woman is no longer in sight. Why?

No man born of a woman will try such with me, I'll blank you like you're not there.

Women, you too should wise up and stop making yourselves too available. Make yourself a bit scarce and they'll value you.

Humble432:
I knew this girl because her mother and my mother were friends back then. They both had shops in the same market back then thought the shops were not close to each other.

I was in SS3 and a boarding student. I was home for first term holiday & used to help my mother at her shop. This girl sometimes pass through our shop while going to their shop & stops to say hi once in a while. My home town is less than one hour drive from where we lived so my parents usually visit home most weekends for either burial, wedding, church program or for other reasons.

That particular weekend(Saturday) my parents travelled to my home town & I was alone in the shop. My two siblings were in the university and the other ones have finished and were working & living on their own, so I was home alone. The girl was going to their shop & stopped to say hi as usual. We talked for a while & told her my parents travelled home so she said she will come back later. She came back in the afternoon and we talked about many things, from life in school to family issues, I also tried to introduce her to James hardly Chase because I was already reading & enjoying it. Later in the evening she came back while I was closing & helped me to pack the goods and we both went to my house together. While at home we played, kissed, I touched her breasts few times but we DIDN'T HAVE SEX. She didn't even pull her pants and my finger didn't even touch her private part. I walked her to the road & she ran back home. The next day was Sunday and in the evening my parents returned from their journey. The following weekend school resumed & I went back to school.

I was in school & life was normal until one evening I went to the business center to call my mother. I wanted her to bring money for my extra lessons while paying next visit but she told me to come home next day immediately after school so that I can return back to school same day. My school had both DAY STUDENTS & BOARDING STUDENTS, and like 40mins drive from my house. Her voice was a bit harsh & I could sense she was sad.

The next day I went home immediately after dismissal. I met her at the shop & she welcomed me but there was something different about her that day. She bought food for me and immediately after eating she asked me, "what happened between me & Ukamaka"? By then I had forgotten the small fun I had during the holidays. I told her nothing happened then she called my name and asked again, what happened. If my mother call your name in that manner before asking you anything, just tell her the truth because if she finds out you're telling lies,,,,body go tell you. I told her what happened the weekend they travelled home while I was alone. I admitted that we kissed but there was no sex. I saw the way she was looking at me, she believed me BUT NOT 100%. She thought I had sex with the girl maybe I was afraid to admit. She told me the girl was PREGNANT and told her parents I was RESPONSIBLE. At that age I remembered I didn't have sex with her but I was afraid because of the little play we had, I was even confused whether that could result to her being pregnant. My mother was mad at me, she told me none of my siblings ever brought such shame to the family. She gave me money for the extra lesson in school and also small extra cash and I went back to school same evening. I told few friends in school and they laughed at me and called me "Daddy twins". The whole thing affected me psychologically & my studies as well.

During the next holiday I was expecting my parents especially my father to ask me about it but he didn't, neither did any of my siblings. After my WAEC & NECO exams I got back home and one day my Mom started advicing me about life & mentioned that issue again. She told me the girl's father threatened to arrest me back then but because i was still a minor & also in school he didn't. She told me the girl's parents especially the father was very angry. Fear didn't let me ask if my Dad was aware, infact I was thankful my Dad didn't ask me about it so I kept my mouth.

I left home to join my elder brother where he was working and while there, I gained admission & started school. whenever I visit home & see the girl's mother, she won't respond to my greetings and would always look at me with this bitterness. She believed I was truly responsible for what happened to her daughter. I saw the girl few times but we never talked to each other again. My father passed 2015 and my mother 2021, may God bless their souls in Jesus name, Amen. February this year I was discussing with a friend about childhood and remembered this incident. I felt the need to clear myself and let her parents know I was innocent of the allegation. I called my Aunty who also do business in the same market and request the phone number of the girl and her mother, but she told me the girl's mother died even before my own mother. She sent me the phone number of the SISTER TO THE GIRL'S MOTHER who now sent me the girl's phone number.

I want to confront the girl and also make contact with the father hopefully my next visit to home state. I will like to tell the old man that I was totally innocent. I wouldn't know if the man and his wife laid some curses back then. This might open old wound though but I am planning to settle down soon so I feel the need to clear myself on that issue.
Kindly advice me whether or not to confront the girl or meet the family.
Thanks.
Baba I will advise u to let a sleeping dog continue sleeping, as far as ur innocent, no curse will come close to u.

If curse work like that, everyone will be laying curse to people anyhow, the truth about the matter is, she knows is not u, every curse that comes from the family will go back to her, except she confess that is not u ,

Baba live ur life and forget about them, if not that old man will give u the real curse, maybe the dead wife did not even inform the man about the pregnancy, and u when u remind him of his dead wife, no try am 😲

Confirmedzombie:
I pity the guy that removed his car, the Curse Apapa has placed on him sure will happen.

Even Peter obi the young guy is fighting for dont know him.

That guy that removed the cap is doomed for life.

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Cheatmessiah:
As I said, I have three weeks of operation.
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MumEmdy:
Where do I start from, I have been in shock since the incidence, God is indeed faithful and compassionate I return all praises to Him.

After having their hair cut on the 22nd of Dec, my kids requested to visit their great grandma who leaves around that area, but on our way there the terrible accident happened. ( I don't want to go into details how it happened cause everything is still playing in my head)

My son was unconscious with blood all over his head and face, I thought he was death cause he was in the theater for more 1hour before some people rush to me to come and hear my son crying. I kept crying and declaring my son's name Emmanuel God is with you will die no way because Emmanuel is also the reason for this season's celebration (Xmas). Prayers was offered even people I don't know that witness the accident rushed there ready to donate blood in case of necessity.

I want to use this medium to once again thank especially the Doctor that God use to work and stitch his scalp and face together, he was actually going to his place of work saw the nature of the accident and decide to follow the bike men to the hospital where my son was rush to, we later got to know that he works in a different hospital but a specialist in such cases., to the people that rushed my son to that hospital God will reward them accordingly ( I don't even know them I would have gone to their various home to thank them and to all d nurses and staff of Good Shepherd Medical Center Ayingba kogi State, thank you all and I pray God will always come through for you all in Jesus name.

An accident that claim 3 of my son's teeth, the devil came to late, we give God the praise

Nairalander please wish us speed recovery, we have been discharged from the hospital.

Mod please push to the appropriate section

krissconnect:
These past weeks, I've been reaching out to my friends who are abroad to help me with links or advices to move abroad too. But I discovered that none of them decided to help, instead they discouraged me either by saying, "it's difficult to move now or the country isn't issuing visa now".

One of my guy in CANADA defiantly ignored my text when I asked him for links or the route he used to move, the other in Korea said the country isn't issuing visa now but he recently moved back and another directly said that it's very hard to get visas now to travel. But one Asian American in the States gave me lots of links to move to the State and even encouraged me to move.

But then I don't understand why our African brothers over there will never encourage or advice someone willing to move. Is it envy or greediness or what? I've never had any of my guy abroad encourage me to move when I asked for advice. If things are difficult over there, why not come home?

NB: I never asked them for fund cos the money is available.

Failure44:
I'll understand the reason why he did it?
How do you understand your father beating your mother countless times in front of you?
Or trying to kill you and your brothers?
Or breaking house properties
Or threatening not to pay my school fees?
Or embarrassing the family name?

See, I'll work hard to better myself and become a great father for my kids( that's if I get married)
But i swear on my life, that man will see hell from my hand.

If you think mikel did his father badly, that man hasn't seen anything.
A shallow grave is where he'll land

ACallForHelp:
Good morning Everyone, trust you're doing great. I don't know if this i the right section.

I have an issue weighing me down so much lately. There is this young of 16+ years who has been missing for almost 2 months now. I got to know about it when the mother called to explain the whole story to me. The girl actually left home willingly. She had always warned her parents about leaving, she said that God told her to leave her parents house and go to stay with a priest. Now that she is missing, we have contacted the so called priest which she always mentioned his name, but he said he doesn't know her whereabout. The mother as well everyone else believes this so called priest to be the prime suspect. The proof here is that it was exactly the same day she left that this so called priest travelled to his home town in the east (he used to live in Lagos, but parked out the same day the young girl got missing). NB: She left with her Boss money that day. She worked as a POS cashier.

They contacted the police, but their demand was too high for this family. They kept demanding (financially). They are just 3 children (all girls), of which this very girl is the first child. I have done my best (financially and in every other way) but there seems to be no hope on the side of the parents except for me. I went to visit them the other day and I almost cried when I saw the mother. She looks so thin that you will wonder if she has a terminal disease. They have given up on this young girl thinking ad hoping that she will return just the same way she left.

This young girl on her own is the religious type who does not understand how evil the world could be. What motive is behind all this?
> Why has she not contacted anyone, not even her friends ever since she left?
> Could it be that she was brainwashed?
> Could she be dead? Probably for rituals.
> Could she be in a hostage kind of situation and hoping that someone will come and save her soon?

> Most importantly is why has she not contacted the parents since 2 months now?


Lots and lots of questions begs for answers.

I have nothing to gain here please. But one thing that runs though my mind every single day is that, heroes don't fly and they also don't wear capes. Someday we will leave this world behind us, can we look back at it and say "Yes, we helped a family that was helpless"? Please let us do this as a NAIRALAND FAMILY. I only know the mother because she was a colleague in my former place of work and she was a good person.

I know there are influential people in this forum. I have contacted some radio stations but neither will they pick or even reply my messages. Please people of NAIRALAND, I beg you to come to our rescue. Human right activists and others, please come, let us help this family. I am a member of this forum from way back in 2010 even tho I have to create a new account I can testify of how beneficial the forum has been to be educationally. I beg you all. Let's help them.


I can't remember the last time I cried, but I can tell you that I am crying like baby while typing this. I have her pictures and anything needed to identify or find her. But I believe I need certain people who can help to contact me for any information regarding her or the parents or the prime suspect before I start posting them here . From there I can reveal everything. And if need be as we proceed, I'll release her pictures as well. Below is my number.

09073751704

Please NAIRALAND, this is too much for me alone. Come and help please.


I will make sure I update everyone on this issue once I get positive responses.

whitebeard:
splitting up is not the way forward trust me, it is more disadvantageous on the long run.

these northerners: i am just short of words to discribe my hate for them.

basically the way forward is WIPE OUT OF THE NORTH.

the banner should be: AFTERALL NOTHING GOOD COMES FROM THE NORTH.

ogododo:
https://punchng.com/20-power-plants-suffer-major-problems-blackouts-to-worsen

AsomArchitectNG:
Well, am only a building engineer with vast knowledge only in building designs and construction.

It's not also out of place if we're a bit knowledgeable in other areas. Make do with the points below

1.)Watch what you eat. ...
2.)Maintain a healthy weight. ...
3.)Avoid high blood pressure and high cholesterol. ...
4.)Drink alcohol in moderation or not at all. ...
5.)Exercise regularly. ...
6.)Try doing Kegels. ...
7.)Keep tabs on testosterone. ...
8.)Avoid anabolic steroids.
9.)If you smoke stop
10.)Steer of risky sex
11.)Curb stress

IamWonderful:
It is quite unfortunate but for those igbos rejoicing on the killing, igbos were also killed in the attack.

Ultimatesammie:
This is stupid, they both went to work and she cooked for him yet he rejected the initial food to ask for pepper soup, why didn't he ask before she cooked the 1st one, she's also a human being is she supposed ti break herself because she has a husband and she even said she'll do it the following day, some of you so called alpha males just sound like entitled brats, you dont treat anyone like that.
If the lady wasn't doing anything at all ill understand but the fact that she still did even after working yet youre still blaming her nah yall have issues.

DamnnNiggarr:
My entire family which includes my brothers' wives and their kids and my sisters' families was once a peaceful and an enviable large family but right now, the devil wants to destroy the family through our wives.

My wife and my younger brother's wife who were once greatest friends are now mortal enemies, they don't talk nor regard themselves as humans, this enmity has lingered for long despite me and my brother's efforts and that of my entire family, both extended, to resolve the issues between them, over the years but all to no avail.

It becomes worse by the day as we have tried everything humanly possible that is within our reach to quell the situation, but no success.
It is that bad that as I'm typing this, their enmity is starting to effect me and my brother's relationship, as my younger brother no longer calls nor chats me as he normally does. Even if I called nor chatted him, he won't pick up and neither the missed calls nor the chats would be returned.

I want to try something different, a totally different approach in tackling the situation, that's why I brought it here. I don't want anything to come in between me and my brother nor my family. I don't want anything to happen to neither my brother's wife nor my wife because the heart of man is evil, that's why I'm seeking for a resolution to the ugly situation.

please all your opinions will help a great deal in approaching it from a different perspective.
please save my family.

*Modified*
Obim, My wife is actually the cause of the whole drama,
She accused my brother's wife of having extramarital affair with me due to how close I was with her as a result of the love they(my wife and her) had for each other. It lead to a very heated quarrelling and the lady vowed never to forgive my wife in her life time and my wife whole heartedly accepted the conquest. Obim said if that will keep her away from me that it's a welcome development.

Now, how it's affecting my family is that my kids no longer go on vacation to their place likewise their kids no longer come over to my house during vacation and many more troubles it has caused my entire family.
Initially, My brother understood that it was one of the wahalas associated with women but I'm surprised and confused about his recent change in attitude.

NLElder:
First of all don't be quick to judge me. I am just here for matured help/advice cos I am fast loosing it. I am sure if it's abroad I will to told to go meet a therapist.

I am a young man in my early 40s and married for 9 years now with 2 kids. My nature of work is such that I am living on another town 5hours away from my family. This has been the case 6years out of the 9 years I am married. I have never really enjoyed my marriage as a young man cos I am always driving up and down every weekend to meet my family and when I got a promotion with more responsibility I reduced it to every 2 weeks, and as the stress of work and driving became more stressful, I now go every month. I have tried all my best even till date to see if I can get another work in the same state my wife and kids reside to no avail and my wife can't leave her work in the state join me as she is in a federal government establishment that has no branch in the state I live and work.

The scenario so far shows you that I am not enjoying a healthy sex life with my wife, but being someone brought up to respect the marriage institution, I have resigned to my fate and taken life as I have seen it. To make matters worse, with due respect to my wife, she suffered female genital mutilation and you know it affects women's sex life and their man is always worse off for it. In summary we lead a routine boring sex life in the few occasions we even get to have it. However, the 6 years I have lived and worked in another state, I have never cheated or thought of cheating on her despite all the cold lonely nights I have to spend alone. I am a kind of introvert and never hide it from people that I am married. Some will be like "u no get side chick"? I will say no.

The problem started 4 years earlier out of the 6years in the city I live and work. Since I am always lonely and bored in my crib, I mostly do video calls with my wife and kids daily or chat online with friends to keep my mind busy and avoid unnecessary tensions that will remind me of the lonely boring life I was living. This also keeps me away from sexual urges if I feel any as a fool-blooded young man I was. It was in one of these online chats that I got close to one young lady of about 30. We really got close through chatting and graduated to exchanging numbers. I always make it known that I was married to everyone I meet and she was no exception. We became best friends online and kept our limits as married man and a single lady would. We became curious and excited to meet each other live when we found out we were in same city.

We arranged a harmless date in a restaurant in town were we really got to know more about each other. I found out that she was a struggling young girl teaching in a private school with NCE and was unable to proceed to degree level due to lack of funds. Her salary wasn't even up to 18k and she was squatting with one lady in very uncomfortable circumstances. After that 1st live meeting, a very good friendship ensued but entirely platonic .

All these past 4 years before I met her, I cook for myself and go to market by myself. One Friday she called and I did not immediately pick cos I was in the kitchen. I called her back later and told her I was cooking and she jokingly asked if she could help. As at then she was yet to come to my place, so I told her if she really wanted to help then I would come and pick her up and that was how for the first time in 4 years, a lady visited me in that town. It felt awkward. It did not take long for me to find out how homely she was...washed plates, tidied everywhere, and finished up the cooking. I really felt at peace and started getting worried at the same time. We spent time chatting but kept our distance and nothing happened between us and I dropped her off later where she was squatting.

After that, our friendship went to another level and the visits became more frequent but still nothing happened between us. I got to know she was a well brought up lady that still had values and I also confirmed she had no man as at the time she met me. She said she had always wished to be married before now and never believed she would reach 30 and still be single.

I know my story is getting rather long, so let me try to wrap up. In summary, she started having issues with the family she was squatting with and didn't have enough money to rent a place of her own. I didn't have enough to rent for her either as I was already carrying a lot of financial responsibilities for her by then...monthly stipend of ₦10k to add to her salary, tolletries, making hairs and even helping out with her sick mum hospital bills.

So without a 2nd thought, both of us decided she move into my place. Inside me I knew it was somehow but I think by then we were already in love with each but maybe living in denial.

So she moved in and that was it. Yes, we started having sex, uncomfortably at 1st but later became 2 sex maniacs. It was as if she was sent to compensate me for my horrible marriage sex experience I have endured all these years. We couldn't have enough of each other. In fact when I want to travel and see my family, she breaks down crying. I knew it was more than a side chick matter. In fact this lady gave me a fulfilled sex life that I swear if it's in the olden days I wouldn't mind taking her as a 2nd wife. Months grew into years and our passion for each other grew to the point that we got jealous of the opposite sex calling us. She even starts frowning when my wife calls or tears will start running down her eyes. People, I became so confused. We both knew we have gone too far and yet were not ready to end it.

I even because part of her own family cos I go with her to see her sick mum and played a prominent role when she died. I don't know her older siblings knew if I was married or not , but I think she confided in her older sister who seemed to like me so much and only warned her to be "careful."

After 2 years, she started agitating about marriage so much that she said she needed to move out of my place. That as long as she is with me, she might not get married since it's obvious I wasn't going to marry her no matter how much both of us pretended about it. Deep inside me I knew she was right and I couldn't be selfish to keep her from meeting single suitors but I felt an inexplicable pain in my heart as if a part of me was about to be cut off. However, I forced myself to assist her to get a place and yet she on her own kept coming to my place every weekend until she moved in again leaving her place wasting for over 2 months., only going there once in a while to pick things..

All the 2 years we were together she was open and truthful to me about relationships she was now trying to build with single guys she hoped would marry her. I was already feeling bad inside me that she was about to leave my life, but she kept assuring me that she was with me and truly told me everything happeneing in the new relationship she was building.

She later moved out completely from my place after 2years on a new year day. She said needed to start the year on a good and clean note and had gotten serious with the guy that said he wants to marry her. I began to feel extreme jealous I couldn't explain. I knew it was not right but I couldn't stop myself. I tried my best and stopped calling or chatting with her but I still didn't find peace. One evening a month after when it was now clear that she has decided to get serious with the guy she said was coming for marriage, she visited me and and you can't believe it, we made hot passionate love. And when we were lying side by side, her new man called and she quickly ran into the toilet to answer him. I felt it was time I ended this whole thing, it wasn't looking right again.

So I confronted her why she was still leading me on when she is now in a marriage -bound relationship and she said because she still loves me and doesn't know how to let go of me. We cried together that it wiould be tough as we would soon separate from each other for life and she left. I cried like a baby as we made love again and she consoling me to try and teach my wife the things she does to me despite her FGM predicament.

The period she was with me, she was uncomfortable answering calls from her man and I got fed up and decided to investigate. So I went to the street where she showed me the guy lives(she was truly open to me and I give her that) and waited to see if she has started visiting him as she mostly denies and lo and behold, I saw her entering the guy's house. I felt a sharp pang of jealousy which I couldn't control. I picked up my phone after some minutes and started calling her, but her phone rang severally and she didn't pick. I was almost half-dead with jealousy. I cried iny heart and drove away. I sent her a text that because she was "enjoying" herself with her man she was now avoiding my calls. That maybe tbe guy was so good at it. She called about 2 hours later and really took offence that because she visited him and did not pick my call was simply because she doesn't want him to start asking questions and not necessarily that they were doing anything.

We quarrelled like never before and said hurtful things to each other and I asked her to return my key at my office the next day cos by then she no longer visited my house as she has really gotten serious with the guy. She returned the key and for over 2 months we stopped communicating and became strangers.

Instead of pushing her out my mind, I felt a daily torture looking through her Facebook pics, WhatsApp status, and other social media. I will go to her guy's street and painfully watch her enter his house from afar. I was fast losing my mind. I knew it was over for good and don't want her back but the obsession is yet to leave me till date. Everyday, I check her pictures and feels pangs of pain and jealousy as I see her lovely smiles. My people it's punishment and torture for me. I keep obsessing every second of my life about her. Who can help me? Something is definitely wrong. In one of her recent status, I saw her flaunt her hands with an engagement ring and I felt a sharp pang of sadness instead of happiness. People help me I am loosing it. Even though she has apologized to me and I too have apologized for the hurtful things we said in the course of our quarrel, my mind is still not at peace.

Even now presently she is engaged she still calls me and tries to engage me in friendly conversations but I will just be answering without interest. She even sent me a pic recently at a wedding she went to and I told her she should stop sending me her pics but should be sending to her man. She apologized and said she has taken note. Yet, I will feel bad inside me if I don't see her friendly chats which my attitude has made her reduce. Yet in all these, first thing in the morning I will quickly rush to check her pics, if she has made new posts, etc etc. I need help, I really do. Sorry my people for the long post but I really needed to empty myself to see the help I can get if any cos I want my normal sane life back. I have also prayed to God and asked for forgiveness for cheating on my wife ....I have no excuses for doing so but from the long story you can see it was never my intention.