₦airaland Forum

TainyLite:
Last week Tuesday, my wife gave birth to a son which is my second born... She has been staying at her mom's place due to misunderstanding we had around September....

After I paid hospital bills and gave her money for baby items on that Tuesday morning, she told my parents she has buried the placenta... I could not go to see her immediately I was called and I had to send my parents there due to my work...

This is a lady I want to separate from due to her mum trying to take over the marriage and my wife is always carrying her along... Now the woman is demanding I come see the son and apologize to her and sincerely I am standing on my ground that since she buried the placenta I will never go there to go see the child except they come to my parent's place on the naming ceremony....

The truth is I can't afford to live a second with my wife and I really want ur advice before tomorrow....

the truth is that , there is no way we can advise, because, 1, we don't know what is wrong between u and ur wife, 2, placenta can't cause problem if ur family or her family buried it, I don't think it matters if any buried it, I can only comes in when u tell us the real problem between both of u, her mother trying to control ur family is not enough for ur wife to stay with her mom for about 5 months now. My opinion please

badmusatari:
I was convinced by a topic on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/6433385/how-saved-brother-marrying-into/1

I went to Nigeria to bring my wife some years agom ever since we arrived it has always been money, money, materials, materials especially money. At some point my wife accused me of trying to separate her from her siblings. I told her that a time is coming she will be begging me to help her stop them. It has happened and is now happening. As a matter of fact I even brought her dad for a visit from Nigeria. Her dad was a God fearing person but the moment he started living with his oldest shameless and jobless son he has been brainwashed that her daughter and her husband owe them especially me. It's always about money, money, money. The oldest son is a jobless and shameless irresponsible man that impregnated a woman and they now have four kids. I have even got a job for him from here but he refused to go and work there in Nigeria.

Not minding the fact that he even have other siblings in abroad. One of those in abroad is always in support of this stupid irresponsible oldest guy but the other one is a very intelligent person and knows the whole truth.

If you send money to the dad now trust me he will request another in less than a week which obviously the irresponsible was the one telling the dad what to say. There was no time my wife or me or we call the dad that the irresponsible will not pretend he's not there but will put the phone on speaker so he can listen to our concert with the dad. All he's doing is yahoo and Yahoo. The second born there with him is a little bit fair but they all the same.

They always have this strong believe that their sister who is my wife owe them because they always says they took care of her. This is one of the reasons their sister who is my wife and the other siblings in abroad are yet to build a house for their dad. The oldest irresponsible always cause trouble, tell lies and create issues that the dad will be telling his children abroad that he's gonna curse them if they don't build house for him or send certain mount on so so so date. I am really tired and confused. Enough is enough because I also have my own family to look after. Even a bike I never buy sef.

I am beginning to regret getting married in the first place. I love my wife and we have been together for over a decade and half even before we get married. But my wife is now their enemy because she always turn them down now. Infarct of I mention the irresponsible man's name or talk about se don't a penny to them she will go mad for days. Everythinf about them is money, money, money, build house for our dad, etc. The guy is now a yahoo + man over 40 yrs with no future and still unambitious.

My wife and I have wasted a lot of money on his travelling but he doesn't even care. Imagine all the siblings in abroad have been sending money for their dad's house rent only for the landlord to tell us that this guy's has never paid a kobo for almost two years. All he's about is to drink fvck and club.. very dirty hungry looking guy. They never appreciate anything indo for them, instead it's always more more and more. There was a time this guy tried to fight me but I just ignored him.and since then I never talk to him again till now. But they are bullying my wife emotionally that she cries almost everyday now uptill this morning when I asked her what happened and she told me that her brother the irresponsible man sent a nasty message to her.

But the other ones in another will always tell her that she and them need to take care of their dad and must send him money regardless of who highjack it as long as God knows they did the right thing, please how does this make sense? I need opinion on this in particular. How could you be sending money to the dad when you know that the idiot is the one that will collect and spend the money because he's with the dad's ATM card? Does that make sense?

I only pity one of the two siblings in another country that always support him and that one's wife have started complaining to my wife too because they gist a lot.

Sad

from what u said lastly, what I understand is u have stopped sending them money, is ur wife that is still sending, all u need to do is, ignore them, use ur own money to build ur family, as for women, they can never leave there family, bet me, she can't stop, that is how they are created, just use ur own salary to build ur house ok

Hanks0000:
Blah blah... I know they dated each other for 5 years and of course I would have said the same thing if reverse was the cause.. ItsI not like Girls don't break up with guys, too even at the tiniest point to marriage... All I'm trying to saying is why date eachother when you know you won't marry him/her.. You know what you want right at the dawn of the relationship for crying out loud..

IdI rather Bleep with by broads rather than waste another lady time cause I want s*x from her..

ur still making the same point , how will I know that he or she will like to marry the person, without dating? From dating, both of them will know each other behaviors,

I

habsydiamond:
I will say again the last time I checked, Nigeria is still one on Google, Wikipedia and also on paper... If u won divide Nigeria carry knife and do ur worse... Togetherness is still one of the reason why there is still something good about this country... If Nigeria divides today I see all the regions struggling for years b4 making progress. In my own opinion, one Nigeria is better than 3 oo.. I comment my reserve

what is good about this unity, baba don't worry when we split, all will be good for everyone, just believe, even if u give it to an Igbo man to rule this country, it will still be like this, because we are not together, we hate each other , so the best thing for everyone is to go it's separate ways

[quote author=theFilmtric post=99025887][/quote]as if ur papa get strength, mumu, till they finish una, then u will shut up ur stupid mouth, more stories are coming, na today we begin hear those nonsense, as if we no fight then, this time will be sweet fight because......... Let's be watching

LordNicvuitton:
Hi Romancelanders, don't know if it's right to share this topic here, but I'll do for now.

I'm Victory, from the East and currently a resident of Edo state. I came to this state, as an intern and thereafter, still served here and in the course of all these, I thought out and established a laundry business, which is just about 8 months old. This was to keep life going and to better bond well with the lady in my life currently.

While in Edo state, having rounded my internship & kickstarting service sometime around 2017, I met this Kiki Osemudiamen (Name changed), and it was nothing serious at 1st, cos I never really thought I'd date someone here, fact is that I never thought I'd stay beyond my service year. I met her while she was in 200l. We encouraged each other, she saw potentials and had faith in me just like I have so much faith in her. She is simplistic, encourages me to save and I in turn, encouraged her and guided her through some of her studies. She passed her 2nd MB.BS. and is currently awaiting lifting of the lockdown on schools, so she can start her clinicals.

Problem is that she came from a not buoyant family financially, and although both parents are alive, she struggles to survive/feed daily. Her dad supplies about 1000litres/trip water to households, while her mum sells at the local market. I on the other hand, came from a middle class family but my Dad is late since 2012, and I've been a sponsor of my education and that of my younger ones through the lil I inherited (which mum manages for now) plus my various endeavours. She depends on me for daily meals and other basic essentials, in fact I had to place her on salary in my laundry shop during this lockdown, so she plays the role of secretary in my shop too.

The latest challenge came about, yesterday. While she slept in the shop, I was out on errand, someone sneaked into the shop and stole her android phone with all of her e-medics textbooks (she reads mostly e-copies because she can't afford hardcopies), she has been crying all through and I really don't know what to do. Since I knew her, She'd been an appendage and an extra financial burden to me, I can't begin to list what I've done for her, although I kept reminding her never to not have entitlement mentality and she does appreciate. Out of desperation to ease her pain, I promised to sponsor her in getting a new phone. I have burdens, huge ones, I'm yet to acquire a diesel engine for my laundry (I use ponytail industrial iron which has higher voltage/current than normal ones), plus other related merchandise that I need to set up and I feel like she slows down my financial pace.

Honestly, I don't do all these for her, hoping for any personal gains, in the words of my daddy in the Lord, Prophet T.B. Joshua, He said and I quote: "We make a living by what we get and we make a life by what we give" but I am almost fed up and tired, especially when I remember that both her parents are still alive.. I am scared that that for the 1st time, I may fail her in that financial obligation because I honestly need money now, with the whole pandemic issue plus, I feel like she slows me down in life financially and a huge burden to me. Right now, she's so attached to me, more so that when I initially wanted to hault our relationship, it almost nearly affected her academics negatively. Please I need matured minds to help me think this through and garnish me with advice(s) because I almost feel so choked up and a rising urge to relocate from here, so i can breathe again.

NB: Advice from married couples and those in serious relationships, will be highly appreciated.

Modified: She went to her bank (First bank) this morning, only to be informed that about 20k (Her mum's business money) has been used to purchase recharge voucher. Her mum sends/receives money from distant customers through her account. Yesterday's scenario, all over again. Please folks, lock your SIM cards just as much as you lock your phones. Learn from this painful experience please.

my brother most of us has been in that shoe, is not easy at all, what I will advise u is, get her that phone, reduce the way u promise, don't be too quick to promise, and try and get her another job, because been there with u, means that she knows how much u make it how much u worth, so I advice u to get her another job, but for feeding, I don't think is a big deal, some of us that was lucky end up marring our girl friends after school, since then, I thank God for bring her towards me, I live with my girl friend in school, her dad is late is only her mum a teacher that was taken care of her and her siblings, it was not easy, I help in one way or the other, but I don't count it because I believe God will pay me back, never knew I will marry her, she is a gift from God, even then I don't have, I hustle for us to eat, I don't have anybody to give me, but from my hustling we both eat pay school fees and house rent, today she is my wife, a blessing from above

HarunaWest:
Bla bla bla sheep have you any wool?... Just singing

Dude you already messed up big time. You had no reason to carry all her financial matter for head. She now sees you as a zaddy and zaddy must perform. However, draw up new terms with your chick. She can't come and drain you finish nah. Let her know that you don't have money to buy her her a phone. Place her strictly on salary and maintenance. Stop the feeding and tfare henceforth.

A wise man once said, and I quote 'don't start what you can't finish'.

baba what he needs now is a good advice ok, I don't think u are better too, relationship is not a child's play, it can lead to marriage, and we are all human being, is not all that easy to stop helping someone u love and care for, but he can reduce it in one way or the other, don't judge him ok

ollins:
Let me cut the story short. Had a fling with this girl, along the line she got pregnant. You know all that talk of "if you could sleep with her, then you must marry her" "if you got her pregnant then you must marry her", Iooking back now, I wished I hadn't listened to all those voices.

I knew in my heart that I didn't love her, even she knew but the pressure from the family was too much, I had to marry her. On my marriage day I was practically crying within me.

Her character is just opposite of all I wanted in a woman, she's barely educated, loud and loquacious.

That's my cross I am carrying today, stuck in a loveless marriage.

The warmth and Romance is absent from our home, we have not had intimacy since beginning of the year till now, we just have no interest anymore in each other. We are just living together for the sake of our child.

My question now is how does one cope�? Is this how I am going to live the rest of my life?

haha brother, I dey laugh because people like u always think is all about you you, do u think that she don't have her own dreams, or are u thinking u are all she wants in life, baba she wants dangote son too, all u need to do is tell her what u dislike in her, let her work on it, then if she refused to work on it, that is when u can take a walk, because who ever u are going to marry again, u will still find fault, people like u don't know what u want, I don't stick my thing in a girl I don't fancy, how did u get in there when she has all this fault u mentioned. Brother work on yourself and her too thanks

MaestroJosh:
Nairalanders, I need your help on chronic pile I've been suffering for the past 7 years which has caused me great pain and lot of blood lost(till present).

I've been to different hospitals, used different drugs prescribed but i still didn't see any changes. I've taken it upon myself to seek out for help here on ways to cure it medically, and traditionally.

Please your minute impute is welcomed.

*Please, don't skip this*

well I have the same problem, but what I did was to be using water when ever I'm cleaning my anus, or when I have bleeding, since then I don't experience bleeding again, what it dose is once a while it comes out and I will use water to wash it and use my hand and push it inside, no more bleeding again, even when I poo, I wash with water, or over 2 years now, no more bleeding, on like before, I experience everyday bleeding

JAWBONE:
Toyota, this is unacceptable!

I bought a new Toyota Corolla 2013 (South Africa) back in 2015. I have since been driving it without issues. However, something mysterious happened on the 3rd of June, 2020.

Thread.

On the day before (2nd of June), I returned home around 7:30pm, and parked the car without any issue. To my utter shock, my neighbours woke me up around 7:00am the following day (3rd June) to inform me that my car was on fire.

It sounded like a joke; for a car parked twelve hours ago to catch fire all by itself. "This has to be a sabotage", I whispered to myself before I quickly got dressed and went to check, and alas, she was on fire!

But my very good neighbours were already ensued in a fight with the fire, and the only thing I did was to open the car for them to finish the last flame with their extinguishers. I'm deeply grateful to their good neighbourliness.

When the emergency was dealt with, I began to search for answers to this mystery, and what I learned was more shocking than the mystery.

My mechanic told me that that particular version (2012-13, South Africa) of Toyota Corolla had a flawed breaking system design, which caused it to catch fire by itself, even if the car was off for a long time.

Not entirely convinced, I called another mechanic for a second opinion, who drove me to his workshop, where he showed me another burnt Toyota Corolla like mine, and told me the same thing happened to her.

He also told me about another one that caught fire in the middle of the night, which eventually burnt another vehicle and an adjoining building. He said "Oga, all countries rejected this car, but Nigeria allowed it. It is sad".
He told me many people were changing the breaking system to American version of the same car.

I have decided to put this here so that others don't become victims of this professional negligence by Toyota, and regulatory failure by Nigeria.

I also want to put this here so that our government will understand the cost of not having an efficient regulatory system for quality and standards.
I also want this here so that Toyota's brand will pay for their design error, they way we paid with our resources (and probably, our lives). This type of error should not be allowed to happen again.

https://mobile.twitter.com/_abba_g/status/1268982247702646784

it happen to me, I travel to a neighboring state, when I came back, I park the car at a branch I was working, the next morning being Sunday the security of the branch called me that the car is on fire, when I arrive there, the car has gone.
The problem is the ABS no matter how u fix it, it will always gum together, and when is start to smoke ,if nobody is there to remove the battery head, it will catch fire, so the best solution is when u park the car, remove the battery head, that is the solution

willsonzzy:
In aba bus and Keke drivers don't speak english but if you speak english they'll understand, in pH pigin is the main language I mean broken English,when you're in pH don't go to dioub,abuloma and the dline at night.you can get a very nice hotel in old or new GRA,avoid night movement and you will enjoy your stay,

Oga talk wetin u know, I hate people that will come out and say trash about were they have not being in there life, Aba is a place that has international market, people from all a over Africa and Nigeria do come and buy goods, and ur telling him keke people don't speak English or pigin, well thank God his going there, when he gets there he will be the judge.

adontcare:
Oga open up to the Lady and tell her the truth. Tell her how far u v gone with treatment. If possible take her to see ur doctor. She know who d real father is. If it is u, then God be praised ur kini is working

thanks baba, ur a real man, ur advise is good, tell her, let her know, if not, ur mind will be full of hate were the babe and ur wife is, nomater how u tryed to pretend, u will always be unhappy,clear ur mind by telling her

gypsey:
you didn't Answer my question, did you witness any of their killing? or are you just thinking what everyone is thinking?


I don't even live in that shithole called Nigeria.

I don't get u either, witness which people killings ? The police or the so called robbers, the truth is that the young girl they kill her parents identify them, and they also told the press and the police the truth, they were interviewed a day before they were execute, and this boys are well known in Umuahia as bad guys

gypsey:
Stop been so sentimental, did you witness the killing of the couple? Or are you just repeating the Nigerian police lies?

I'm not praying that it will happen to u before u believe, but if ur part of them, please repent we need u, I'm not saying that Nigerian police are right, but for this, everyone in Umuahia knows that this is the best ,if not more will die

gidgiddy:
How do you know they killed anybody? Because the Nigerian Police said so? Then that is mere allegation. 8f everyone one was killed based on allegation, we would all be dead. Thats why we have courts, to differentiate between allegations and fact

that is why I said ur not here, we are here, and many of those guys are known for this act, is not hidden, is not an allegation OK, those guys are heartless, the people they killed, there young kids and orphans now, the man in question is a trader, he buys eggs and sale to retailers, the town is too small, that is why it was easy for police to get them, all of them are known to be bad guys, and they don't his it, they have been to court so many times and prison guys knows them well, forget it baba, this town is crying for the death of those kids parents

gidgiddy:
Stop thinking like this. There is reason we have laws. If you condone something like this, all that may be required for you to end up dead like those boys is mere allegation

Thats why it is the job of the court to pronounce who is guilty. If we let the Police become Judge, jury and executioner, it will only require someone to mention your name or lay allegations against you for you to end up tortured and dead like those boys.

Oga this is not allegation, Umuahia knows this boys, u can not just sit in ur house and be saying nonsense, this guys are from Umuahia, not visitors, they all bread in Umuahia, this guy has been taken to court severely, and that is there hope this time, why did police allow press men to interview them before they were killed, I believed ur in ur shithole u call a house and open ur mouth and be saying trash

gidgiddy:
This barbaric mentality. No matter what a person has done, or is alleged to have done, they deserve their day in court. That is the constitution

If the Police killed these boys extra-judicially, it is murder

ur just there ranting because is not ur family they killed in cold blood, for the sake of robbery, this boy killed the couple in front of their two kids, ur here saying nonsense, I will not wish u the same, do u know how many souls this boys has taken before now, three just came out of prison , before going to kill an innocent man, in front of their babes, don't let me wish u the same

wwwkaycom:
I gave my house documents to my cousin to take a bank loan of 3 million naira but I like to retrieve my documents back because of the way he and his wife have been doing things since October, 2019.

He is involved in sales of agrochemicals. He discussed with me on how profitable the business is but that he didn't really have money to put into it.

The wife lost her job in the bank and had to join him in the business. Being a close cousin and friend of mine, I gave out my house documents to him as collateral and the bank actually came to do some inspection in my house and I signed some documents.

The big issue now is that my cousin have not paid a dime back since August last year when he got the loan and between then and now he has done 3 parties that I'm sure gulped lots of money. The wedding of his younger sister in October, wedding of his brother in law in December and 40th birthday of his wife in January. These were serious lavish parties which I think could be done modestly.

I asked him on Monday about the loan and he said his moratorium will expire in February and there's no cause for alarm. This is different from what he told me before I released my documents, he said he will have gone far in repayment even before the expiration of moratorium. I reminded him about this but he said there is no problem about his ability to pay back since the business is lucrative.

I also discovered that one of our uncles actually borrowed him 2 million naira in 2017 which he hasn't paid back till now, he hasn't paid a dime back, I didn't do due diligence before releasing my documents to him.

Uncle told me yesterday that he would have discouraged me from giving out my documents if I had informed him before the loan was granted. Uncle also told me that he disagreed with him about his clubbing and partying lifestyles as a struggling businessman but that instead of appreciating his concern, he and his wife fought him and boasted his 2 million naira will be paid back before mid 2018 but till today he hasn't paid a dime. Hope I haven't shot myself in the leg with this help which I think I rendered to a friend and family?

The worst part of it is that my wife was not fully in support of my intention to help him then.

Where do I start from good people?

He promised to start paying by January ending, if he fail to do this, is it possible to break that bond and retrieve my documents from the bank? Can I tell him and the bank that I'm no longer interested in guaranteeing the loan? I'm afraid, kindly help.

I have lean allot in life, u don't do things just because his ur brother or sister, baba if u have the three million, go and pay and take ur papers back, if not ur in for fraud, because that is the only word the bank will use in deposing that property from u, that house is gone if he did not meet up before that dead line simply

nairalee:
But why are u Pained? I'm just feeling empathy for u. Pls lighten up life cannot be that hard.

baba ask u feel that is only u guys that have hate, most people are bittered, so let's watch our words

otijah:
Can you see someone am sharing the same country with. So much hatred for your fellow countrymen. Tell me why am supposed to share country with wild animals in this zoo

my brother don't mind that sinking bastard, this is what brought about the last civil war, I don't think they all know that time will tell, is a must that we come together and solve this problem, but as far as some feel more important then others, more kanu will spring up

nairalee:
Storm kor

Na Ordinary python go turn the storm to small breeze

there one thing I want some of u fools to understand, if God said there will be Biafra, nobody can stop it, if he said we must be together, not even 20 of KANU can change it, so f....k off

Abdul05:
So many heartless bastards in the yeast.So one one of them has decided to come home.surely,
a welcome party will be organized with a special package.

instead of u to talk about our insecurity, hunger and unemployment in this country, ur busy talking nonsense, whether his here or not, will it change anything, it doesn't matter to me, all I pray for is a better days,

Davash222:
Woman wey dey find pikin no dey wear pant sleep for night.

hahahahah u don spoil, u see say na only ur own get highest like

DoubleEngine007:
The man must have his own side too.. There was one thread in this section or family section some time ago.. The woman told of us how she and the husband built a house together with the proceed from the business idea she brought. And when they started having issues, d husband wanted her to leave d hux ,but she refused. So d husband ran away from the house leaving her and the kids. We start curse the innocent man o. Someone who knew the husband very well saw the thread, and informed the husband.. The man had to register on this forum to tell us his side of d story. And when the man told us his side of the story,we discovered the woman was at fault.. I can't conclude if actually the man is a beast or not now,until i hear from both side.. Cuz most times ,na women dey cause the problem,but they will want people to pity them ,so that say things that will justify them,covering their own side when bad. Have a nice day bro...

my brother from the way she present it, the story is scanty, u will know that something is fishing, u went to private university, that shows that ur family is well to do, now ur telling us he abuse and so on, baba she is not telling us the truth simple

DoubleEngine007:
Humans are full of pretends .. They will make you comfortable with them during courtship ,after marriage their real character will come out.. But I can't say much now,cuz i haven't heard the man's side of the story... I pray you find peace of mind madam.. Ensure your kids gets the best of education and care plz.. Don't rubbish them,because their dad rubbished you.. And don't stop loving and serving God..

I really thank u for this wise comment, God knows what he did to the man, this is her side of story , we have not heard from the man, maybe she is right, but is good to judge from the both side, not only from one side, I know we have demons in human , but still want to believe that ur doing the right thing, if surely what ur saying is true, I support u to leave and have a peaceful life, but from what ur saying u went to a private uni, that means ur family is OK, so how can he , if

Hanks0000:
Blah blah... I know they dated each other for 5 years and of course I would have said the same thing if reverse was the cause.. ItsI not like Girls don't break up with guys, too even at the tiniest point to marriage... All I'm trying to saying is why date eachother when you know you won't marry him/her.. You know what you want right at the dawn of the relationship for crying out loud..

IdI rather Bleep with by broads rather than waste another lady time cause I want s*x from her..

u talk as if ur robot to know who is good for marriage, and who is not good for marriage, everybody has what he or she is looking for, when it comes to marriage,
So there is no way anyone can find out if he or she is what they want, if they don't date, some marriage don't even see the next day, because of attitude one of them displayed the day of their marriage. People must date, and people must break up, any which it comes, we should not lay blames

omenka:
When people say hate is a form of madness, doubt them not. Need an evidence, look no further than ipob.

Ipob will push their luck so far even South East generally will put a bounty on Kanus head. Accidents of all sort, from fires to floods to road accidents, gas explosions, etc, happen everyday, but it is only a deliberate plot when it happens in the East according to ipob.

You see, mindless hate of this proportion is the reason myself and my people find it disgusting and very provocative whenever these guys mention Igedes as part of their dream state.

While people are grieving over the unfortunate loss of their loved ones and livelihood, all this organisation thinks it can do is leverage on it to promote their hate and propaganda.

Just a matter of time.

brother I love the way u state ur comments, I respect people like u, making ur point in a proper way, but there may be truth in there accusations,