₦airaland Forum

what a repulsive act.
www.planusa.org/docs/ListeningtoAfricanVoices.pdf

5minsmadness:
Awww, that's not true. No pain in childhood or sex. The only pain comes during childbirth and even then it is in cases of extreme circumcision where the entire vlitoris and labia minor are cut.
There are different types of female circumcision two of which involves marking the vlitoris only, not even cutting it off. I think the female circumcision thing got a really bad rap from the Europeans who saw it as completely barbaric and because we were under the hypnosis of "everything western must be good and everything culture bad" we did away with it as the good children we were instead of improving on it and removing the bad part(massive mutilation) while retaining the cultural significance.
This is just a rethorical discussion by the way, not as if am clamouring for female circumcision to make a comeback. Its been nice discussing with you.

this is the dumbest post I've seen on NL so far this year. first of all, why do you assume that opposition to FGM is a western thing? All progressive ideas must be western in your eyes abi?
second of all, do you even understand the horrible cultural significance of FGM?
FGM is an existing reality in many parts of Africa. It is still being practiced today in many different forms.

Muyogoa:
pls insult me more. I'm a masochist. And i derive great sexual pleasure in beautiful ladies abusing me and making me feel bad about myself.

It's perfectly OK not to be normal.

whether you cut it off or burn it off, genital mutilation serves the same purpose: to minimize a female's sexual desire and preserve virginity.

moral: don't let your village grandmother touch your baby. You never know what these deprived old women went through in their time and they will want to put your baby girl through the same.

cool concept.

Please God, let these criminals at least carry their wahala away from Nigeria and go and locate themselves somewhere else.

D'banj's star has waned. He is old, no longer relevant and needs to go and settle down in a corner with his SA girl. I don't see anything special in either of them.

Deola Smart, you can do better. This guy doesn't look like he has a good head on his shoulders.

MsFaith:
Wondering if she grew up like this or she did some surgery or probably exercises

who knows. but more and more women are using corsets to train their waist. despite the negative health effects.

lol I see, somebody needs a visit the barber. hmm naijaboiy are you hearing?

Pink is NOT most ladies' favorite color.
many girls like pink because they were raised from birth to associate pink with girlyness. But once a lady grows older and matures, she changes.
https://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01533/Pinkification_1533390c.jpg

hmm I smell love in d air between naijaboiy and firstEVA
what a perfect place like a wedding thread to spark a romance.

dabossman:
I can bet 70% of the guys telling her to go and marry are still single. Pray tell, why are you still single? And don't tell me you are young. I'm sure your dad was much younger when he married your mom. Practice what you preach.

LOL

vislabraye:
She's wearing too much cloth in a place where you just little

really?

that aunty deserves a promotion. haha
very creative.

me, i'm cooking ila alasepo tomorrow. won't be posting pics but very excited to eat my first cooked meal for the first time in 2015 (you see, i have been eating other people's food throughout the holiday festivities).

love this thread.

In fact, most of this bride's "haters" are men, Most of the woman bashers on this thread are men. nobody quoted or attacked them. majority of the negativity is coming from men. This whole divide and conquer and trying to pit women against themselves is a bad habit.

naijaboiy:
Show Off

male

RedBenson:
I dont think the op and her family is as popular and influential as it's shown on this thread. My conclusion is, how come no one else is able to identify her or her family on this entire forum if they're as influential as it's made to believe here? Nairaland covers the entire country most especially and it's believe that at least one person here must be able to identify another if the identity is revealed as it's in this thread. I smell lies.

male

alexdellafonte:
Hmmm there is something fishy in this post. ESAN ? Na wa oo, anyways HML.

male

rattlesnake:
Wow lovelyyyyyyyyy

Hope this wedding has nothing to do with visa

male

icebeatz:
Just another immature fuckkkk looool

Im not hating but no one givess a fuccck who attended your wedding.

Enjoy ur marriage life u superficial fuckerty.

male (verified gender through previous posts)

exxell:
Is it me or are my eyes deceiving me that this guy looks like he was forced into this marriage? Just focus on him in all the pictures while removing your focus from the girl. You will notice that he was unease. He doesn't look comfortable and happy. One of the disadvantages of getting married to the rich. Even the girl posted the pix of his family house to tell us that "She is not hungry".... Lols. I may be wrong though.

Oh I noticed something now. The girl looks preggers...

male

Ezemarcel:
u are correct bro

male

ColourTv:
E carry belle.
E still wear white wedding gown.
HML.

male (verified gender through previous posts)

igbo2011:
Why do Africans have white weddings how many Europeans have African weddings? I guess we still slaves.

male

------------------------------
This silly poster below is the worst. imagine. THe woman is simply viewing the thread and has not yet even posted before she was attacked by these witch-hunters who are desperately trying to pit women against each other.

letsdothis5:
Kachisbarbie I see you viewing. Show some love. This sumptous bride fine pass you

Kachisbarbie:
lolz.
I am not in any sort of competition with her.

HML @OP.
God bless your home.

-----------------------------------------

Neplusultra:
its crazy how d pple attribute everytin to hate, as if one cant air one's opinion, poverty na bad tin

abi o.
nobody challenged the male haters above but once one woman tries to air her own opinion, some of these men accuse her of all sorts of things. this is not only poverty but a deeper problem in our society.with some self-appointed mai-guards aka witch-hunters trying to censor and restrict women's freedom of expression and also trying to pit women against each other.

fireforfire:
i tel u . jealous witches full nl
d jealousy im seeing here is terrible . many Nl witches envious of d girl

Mr. witch hunter. Mr woman wrapper, Mr amebo, Mr gbeborun of nairaland. you need to go and sit your yansh down in a corner. I read all the post on this thread and majority of the well wishers are women and majority of women are well wishers.
the very few statistically inconsequential naysayers are actually mostly men.
the rest of the male posters on this topic are either posting about their wish to hook up with the bride's underage sister or they are posting to bash other women on this thread (ie. go and marry, you are a witch, you are jealous) it is as if you actually wish for other women to be jealous.
this myth that women hate each other is perpetuated by haters like you. Most women on this thread have wished this bride well as far as I can see from reading all the posts. Stop your hatred, stop your witch-hunting and leave posters alone. Who appointed you as maiguard on a wedding topic? Imagine this is a wedding topic where women should have more freedom. as opposed to a sports or politics topic. Women are not free from censorship anywhere in this website. it's a shame.

Many people here will even kill their family members for money sef. nothing special or new.
At the end of the day, if the lover finds out about the scheme, the slapper will live to regret that money because a kobo of that money will not be spent in peace. Hell hath no fury than a lover scorned. Even if they agreed upon the scheme, they will fight over how to share the money.
because of 1mill naira some people will carry everlasting problem on their head.

mizjules:
Waist trainers in action!!

hmm,,, these things are becoming very popular. but some women have it naturally

https://cdn5.nwgimg.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/waist-training-07.jpg

^
in addition, if its a short term fund, maybe it's also good idea to watch the news and watch the markets etc
ex oil and gas is doing really bad right now but because the stocks are now cheap, some people buy it with hopes that the prices will rise again and they can make a profit. so if that's someone's cup of tea, they can find a energy/ oil and gas mutual fund

if it's a long term growth fund for retirement (at least 20yrs into the future) then there is less need to worry oneself over short term market fluctuations. those kind of mutual funds won't even disclose the content.

good. but why golf course? I mean who is interested in golf in Nigeria besides the ultra rich?
It should be a public park with a public library and/or an events center. that way, the public can access it even if it's at a fee.

na wa o

na wa o.

the woman was very careless. the poor 2yr old probably thought it was a toy

Excerpt from the Chimamanda interview:

Sunnews: Mrs Chimamanda Adichie, wel-come back to Nigeria…

Chimamanda Adichie: Before we start, please, I just want to say that my name is Chimamanda Adichie. That’s how I want it; that’s how I’m addressed, and it is not Mrs but Ms: that’s how I want it. I am saying this, because I just got a mail from my manager this morning. It seems that there are people who attended the church service, and they wrote about it, addressing me as Mrs. Chimamanda (Esega). I didn’t like that at all. So my name is Chimamanda Adichie, full stop!

SN: You started by telling me that you’re not “Mrs.”…
CA: My name is Chimamada Adichie. If you want to put label for me, put Ms.

SN: But people know that you’re married. As an Igbo girl, you know our culture…
CA: What does our culture do? Let me tell you about our culture. This thing that you are calling our culture –that when you marry somebody, you’ll start call-ing her Mrs. Somebody –is not our culture; it is Western culture. If you want to talk about our culture, you need to go to people in real Igbo land. But it is true. My grandfather’s name is David. His name is also Nwoye. They call him Nwoye Omeni. Omeni was his mother. You know why? It is to help distinguish him, because there are often many wives. So, it was his mother that they used to identify him. They know that all of these people came from the same compound, but whose child is this one. You may go and ask people who is Nwoye Omeni, and they’ll tell you it is my grandfather. So, conversation about culture is a long one. I don’t even want to have it.

SN: But, at what point would you change your name?
CA: Yes; because it’s all fused. You cannot then come and impose something on somebody. Nobody should come and impose something on somebody, because, if you come and tell me it is our culture, I’ll tell you it is not our culture. Where do you want to start counting? Do you want to start counting in 1920, or do you want us to start counting from 1870?
http://africamusiclaw.com/is-chimamanda-adichies-brand-of-feminism-over-the-top-adichie-refuses-to-be-called-by-her-husbands-last-name-esege/

www.nairaland.com/attachments/1322802_chimamanda_and_husband_jpg28d23daea9c626e421026036e0e6c7b2

5minsmadness:
Red, are you a Nigerian/African?
At your first bolded, I have. I have seen two couples where the woman wanted to keep her maiden name. The first was a British raised Nigerian. She insisted. He walked out. He's married now and she's still single.
The second was a female doctor. She insisted. He walked out. They reconciled a few months later and she took his name.

It's no different from a guy dumping his girlfriend for going natural (i've heard of cases like these) or fighting his wife for refusing to have any more kids etc. These are value related issues. sometimes there is compromise and sacrifice in marriage. doesn't mean that someone won't be left deeply unhappy. Sometimes it's better to be single than unhappily married. The adults involved have to made the decision for themselves.

I have a nigerian friend who married a white woman and changed his name to hyphenate it with hers. they both changed their names and the kids will have hyphenated name as well.

Do you know even when Chimamanda got married to the guys she still insisted on being called 'Miss' or Ms or something I can't remember instead of Mrs? And you think the man was happy with that? Is she ashamed of him or ashamed that she is married or what?

It's Ms.
This is the standard way of professionalism in the western world. Nobody worries their head over your marital status or or whatever titles or labels you may have. Her husband is young, partially raised abroad and a successful medical doctor in the USA.

chaircover:
My dear you can make your points . . . . no need to get personal.
it is comments like this that start the waves of agruments that go back and forth and leaving the main topic alone. You dont know me enough to get personal with me.
Stick to the topic

So you know, this topic has been discussed severally on NL over the years and I have heard a lot of reasons why women choose to keep their maiden names from the reasonable to the most ridiculours . . .to me anuway.

I said it clearly, if its causing serious issues between husband or wife and there isnt a good reason for the name keeping, then is it really worth the headache as one is only trading one wahala for another?.

My stance on NL has always been clear. I mostly talk to young impresionable girls so they know the reality; Pick right and behave right . . . . . hence I dont get into long winded arguments with people who have already made up their minds on something.

I don't think my post was personal. if you took it personal, then I am sorwy. All mature couples have arguments and disagreements and yours or anybody else's isn't exempt was my point. what you consider to be a non-issue may be a serious issue to someone else depending on their values. I see your point in talking to young impressionable girls. young impressionable girls who marry early are probably already very eager to change their names anyway.

I've heard of older divorced women who kept their ex-husband's last name to some of these ex-husbands' chagrin. I think the women should be able to keep the name. what do you think of this?

dabossman:
@post aren't dashed to people in Nigeria: This is the very problem I have with this groups demands. If you want political relevance in Lagos, why go about making threats when you can simply strategize and work towards it. How about making APGA more active in Lagos? If the APC or PDP won't give you an Igbo candidate, why not present a candidate on APGA platform? Entitlement mentality like this can be so annoying. If you want something, then work hard at getting it.

agreed. sometimes, people may be good at independent business/trading but not very good at politics which requires a lot of diplomacy.

OdenigboAroli:
But this isnt about oil but right.
I honestly think the promotion of Igbo culture in lagos will add color and quality to the cultural heritage of lagos.

there's no doubt about that but it is the igbos who should be promoting their own culture.
do you think it makes sense for an igbo group to be asking/threatening a yoruba govt to sponsor igbo culture? Think about it.

like i mentioned before, a smart way will be for this "ndigbo cultural society" to appeal to the rich big igbo business men of lagos who can use their money to sponsor or influence lagos politics. they need to be realistic.

congratulations! very beautiful

chaircover:
Absolutely
If they are both in agreement . . no wahala
The Spanish have 2 surnames
Their mothers name and their fathers name
That is their culture

The problem comes when the man is not in agreement with it and there is no other reason for the woman insisting on keeping the name, but for fighting for equal rights, then they both wont have peace in the marriage
What is the point of getting married, if you wont have peace? Might as well remain single and enjoy a peaceful life.

I have never heard of a marriage where a woman insisting on keeping her name led to an unhappy marriage. usually this is decided before they get married. besides, such an argument is no different from a case where the husband wanted 5 children and the wife only want 2 or 3 children etc. disagreements happen in all marriages if there are two grown adults involved. Abi you want to say you have never disagreed with your husband on important issues before? or you want to claim title of 'most submissive wife on nairaland'.

Anyway, in many cases women choose to keep their last names because they don't want to lose their identity. esp if they marry later in life or have developed careers. remember that a lot of women marry barely as soon as they enter adulthood (some as teenage children sef lol) so their husband is like an extension of their father. unlike a woman who maybe marries at age 35 who is more mature and attached to her name emotionally, professionally, socially etc and has formed her own individual identity before marriage.