₦airaland Forum

we should at least be thankful for one thing, Nigerians will not riot over this - we should sit down and complain. if it was another country I'm sure by now a coup or civil unrest wold have befallen Nigeria.

always look for the silver lining. anyway Nigeria is showing the world how very stupid it is - when Gordon brown is on holiday the deputy takes over, are the northerners so power hungry and stupid that they can't hand over power to a southerner temporarily, naija i don tire for unna

Tamita:
@POSTER
Are u claiming your child is an "Ajebutta" and cannot survive in her father land witout vaccines or medications abi? Na wa 4 una sef, Nothing go do am aftall we get children 4 naija wey stil d survive. LOL

this is just an ignorant and stupid comment. I forgot to take my malaria tablets last year b4 visiting nigeria i paid for it when i got back to the uk.

was in hospital for a week on a drip, i have almost died in the past when i caught malaria - so if you want to call me ajebo then go ahead and call me - i would rather be alive than a dead ajepaco like you!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1240391/Body-scanners-approved-anger-ethnic-profiling.html

my own is since when (as a christian igbo woman) have i become a citizen of a muslim country, apparently Nigeria is now deemed an islamic state? na wah o.

why is this even an issue - is it hard putting clothes in a washing machine.

na wah o and now this topic is on the front page

George_D:
pak, good talk there. and i must add that jokes aside, all i have posted here is based on personal experience. no need gloating over it but that's the truth. the greener grass/career syndrome is a huge problem ladies these days must strive to overcome. all in the name of civilization or 'i don't want my future husband to maltreat me because i'm not educated' ladies throw marriage to the back burner and choose rather to pursue career until their biological clock starts telling on them. i think our women are in dire need of re-orientation here.

if marriage doesn't come at 21 a woman should sit at home abi - no body is saying ur putting career ahead of marriage but if it doesn't come in ur early 20s you have to make yourself a useful citizen of wherever you are. all i know is the lack of financial security a lot of women have ensures they tolerate what they wouldn't otherwise - we are no talking divorce or running from ur marriage but if a man starts acting up cos he takes u for granted - u think he will change by cooking him pounded yam everyday.


anyway this topic should just rest - everyone has their set views and no one including nairaland is going to change it

if its with a washing machine no problem - is it not putting his clothes in the machine and then wash. if it is with my hands then pigs will be flying b4 that happens - do i wash my own with hand let alone his own. ha ha very funny

why the uproar - don't america execute thier own killers - does it make news??

pls - if this man had made money from the drugs u think anybody would be calling bipolar or instead they will be feeling cool in their jeep and high life.

its sad but this is not news and the chinese are right to remind the british about the 19th century opiom trade the british did in china - if the man had been caught in the uk they would give him 6 months and 200 hours of community service

steeze:
I can't believe it!! She punched him, and drew blood. Then she taunted him, asking him if he wanted to chris brown her.

Daring him.

Then she went on to have him thrown out of the club. Talk about triple fatality!!! We all know that if the tables were turned, the man would be rotting in jail somewhere.

I bet the females are enjoying themselves now.

Mcheeeww!!! silly females!!!

God bless Nigeria. Can't happen here.

abi cos its the men who do all the beating - in fact men beat their wives in nigeria if their food is cold even

Daddy Mike:
@redsky
Quel slowpoke, il s'avere que je parle francais tres bien. You id. iot. At 30, gynaecologists indicate that a woman's biological clock begins to run down. Kapish?

LMAO.

so its only women that have fertilty problems - i laugh in german.

so my friends that have had stress free pregnancies past 30 obviously have 2 heads. yes its best to have kids between 19-26 but a woman can still get pregnant at 30 - wow, i pity u men that have sisters that are not married yet, if any of them should reach 30 i guess u will take them to the centre of ur village and burn them at the stake.

all i know is if i had married at 21 to my then boyfriend i would be divorced by now. the guy was a male slut

Daddy Mike:
If you are 30 and a female and not married, forget it, it's already too late. Except if your dad is Babangida!

i laugh in french, very ignorant statement - are also one of those that thinks ur blood is too strong to get AIDS.

b4 these men start abusing me, i have already said that i would recommend as a woman marrying early but if it doesn't happen at 21 then live ur life and wait for the man God has destined for you. The devil can only delay destiny and not remove it.

George mate - I'm married - managed to do all that b4 getting married, at the end of the day the property is an investment in my kids future and my career is a safety net for my family, i have already made the sacrifice to stop work for a while to be with my husband so please don't get it twisted.

what we should be talking about is a good marriage not just marriage by force - cos a career will give u a lot more joy than an abusive marriage and please abuse comes in many forms, financial, emotional, mental and physical

George_D:
redsky1, a truck load of suitors may not besiege your doorstep at 21 but it's true that most ladies are very selective and that is why they're still single at 30+. no matter how you try to paint it, not every lady who is 30+ is so because she was into an abusive relationship or perhaps was so unfortunate as to be without an prospective suitor at an earlier age. invariably, these ladies had their chance at one time or the other but chose to pass it only now to realise they're past their time.

are men not selective? yes ur right some women are too picky and unrealistic but others just meet bad eggs. i personally feel that a woman should try to make herself useful, we all know how u men are - one day u may try to make ur wife's life hell and will continue doing it cos u know she has nowhere to go and no skills in the professional world. life is not as simple as boy and girl falling in love and living happy ever after we all know the trails and tribulations marriage goes thru in nigeria - i for one am grateful i have my own property and career, so that if anything happened me and my kids will never be at the mercy of in laws.

i laugh - i'm not questioning the power of God but come on now, sometimes the problem can be so small that doing something to assist conception can deal with it, but people continue to say not to listen to doctor - did God bless the pastor with a medical degree or did he bless the doctor.

abeg if there is a problem go see a doctor discuss options and go from there (but always praying of course!!)

ifedy:
Getting married without aving a reasonable source of income in your 20's is too early IMO

tell them abeg - and when the man is beating you, you have no where to go, u can't even muster up transport money to go to ur fathers house as well. domestic abuse in nigeria is epidemic

all these people saying to get married at 21 does it mean that on ur 21st birthday a truck load of suitors arrive at ur door.

a woman who is not married after 25 is not a lessor woman. the number of stories i have heard and seen concerning marriage is a joke - in Nigeria where u all rush to marry and the next day the man is cheating on you, beating you insulting u cos ur not bringing anything to the household and u all smile as if ur really happy. imagine a couple 1 year after marriage the wife gets cancer while she is abroad getting treatment her husband is carrying different women around VI, i saw him myself it is not gist

or is the one that is always coming to my husbands office looking for one admin clerk there while his wife is sitting home with their 3 kids abeg is that life. if you find the right person after 25 then you are blessed and hopefully wit the right person u will have a happy and peaceful marriage - its not a race or competition.

as for some of the ignorant people here and fertility - abeg research the topic well. all women have tests done its not only the over 35s. yes a woman's fertility declines with age does it mean those of us over 30 cannot have children, if you ignorant people has sense you would also know that the quality of the man's sperm also goes bad with age, so we women look out for these things as well. even if a man can father a child at 70 doesn't mean the sperm is good quality - don't u know one of the causes of miscarrage is when the sperm and egg meet and there is a problem - u thing 45 year old sperm is the same as 35 year old. NONSENSE,

Dan foster is paid enough to get his (pregnant for that matter) a car.

but poster come on now this sounds like fake gist - my husband knows Dan and unless he has lost all his money he can afford to buy a car for his wife.

get a job, why is this news. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo now radio presenters wife is getting scrutinised

ummmmmmmmmmm didn't america dash nigeria 3 scanners last year (thats what the FBI said on boxing day during a new segment)

so this is another reason for them to eat money as they already have these scanners sitting somewhere

kelao:
Ask yourselfs!

when did your parents get married?

are they divorced now?

i don't get the point ur making here - so you would like your own daughter to endure what our mothers endured. na wah o!

like i have said previously make sure u are secure financially cos if you have nothing a man will treat u as such and what will you do if you have nothing - no back up home no back up money.

cecegirl:
Thanks everyone for your advice. Just that i have been getting a lot of presure lately and from family and my married friends are not making it easy for me. They keep bragging about getting married like they won a trophy.

thats naija for you. the best time depends on the indivdual and there are alot of things to consider and be real about. are u the type that can fully depend on a man for even the basics like ur pant and bra - if u are then younger is best cos if u have no plans to build a career or become financially secure b4 u start bring children into the world then do what u want to if u are independent minded i would say wait a while and do something for yourself.

i'm not saying all women who marry young don't have financial security but a human being will not bite the hand that feeds them. anyway there is no perfect age - although i wish i had got married younger. as a woman i think its best to start a family early cos boy does the body tire out the older we get.

anyway thats my 2 cents

my mum could not stop laughing at the tiger saga. found the article online a few weeks ago. maybe the men here will say her father was nigerian!!!!

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Swedish Ex-Model
Elin Nordegren Woods and the myth of the angry black woman.


[b]With just one swing of a golf club, Tiger Woods's wife, Elin, has shattered, or at least cracked, the stereotype of the angry and uncontrollable black woman. I, along with what I suspect to be countless other black women, would like to thank her. Not that I condone violence against anyone, but for far too many years black men—particularly successful, high-profile ones—have pointed to the unpredictable temperament of black women as one of the many reasons they so frequently choose to marry outside the race. A couple of weeks ago Elin Nordegren Woods showed them that the rage of a woman scorned knows no color.




Constant images of black females with their hands on their hips, eyes rolling and tongues lashing out at their partners (and anyone else in their way), are the norm on television shows, in movies, and even on 60-second television commercials. So prevalent is the notion of the angry black female that our current first lady was caricatured on the cover of The New Yorker with a menacing look and a black-power fist in the air. Needless to say, the idea of this type of in-your-face, over-the-top behavior from a woman is less than desirable to men of any color, but particularly African-American men—men who say they have enough to deal with from mainstream society and don't need more hassles from their better halves.




I can't count the conversations I've had over the years with men of color who were quick to offer detailed examples of black women on the rampage due to some injustice caused to them in a relationship. These women's actions, according to the men, were totally unacceptable no matter the offense or the pain inflicted. And, of course, just one or two incidents were enough to convince these men that all black women were the same and that white women, by contrast, were uniformly docile.

But now Elin Woods has put a very big hole in that already flawed theory. Though we may never know what exactly happened that fateful night in the Woods household, we do know the superstar golfer had been quite unfaithful to his wife and that she, like most women, was none too pleased about it. In fact, the golfer reportedly told a friend shortly after the incident that his wife had gone "ghetto'' on him. An interesting comment coming from someone who probably hasn't been anywhere near a ghetto, and another example of how prevalent the idea of black women as aggressors has become, even when the alleged attacker is a Swedish blonde. But Elin Woods had been humiliated and hurt by someone she loved and trusted. Those feelings don't always allow for calm, planned reactions, no matter how fair your skin or your sex.




The fact that we all have similar basic human emotions never seems to be taken into consideration by some African-American men when they list their reasons for looking outside their community for romance. (For the record, I'm all for interracial partnership as long as it's based on love, and not on some ill-conceived, made-up notion that skin color always denotes personality, attitude, and disposition.)




It's been far too easy for these men to use the emotional excuse to dismiss black women as potential partners, and it's time for it to stop. We live in a society where beauty is narrowly defined by European features—meaning long flowing hair, fair skin, and a lean figure. Black men, like everyone else, are constantly showered with those images and no doubt grow to believe that beauty is in essence the opposite of what they themselves look like. In a world that can easily make people of color feel less-than, having what mainstream society considers "the best of the best" on your arm goes a long way toward making men of color feel worthy.




I get that. I don't like it, but I get it. And I'd appreciate and respect the decision more if men were a little more honest about their reasons. Elin Woods may have turned out to be just as volatile as the stereotyped black woman that black men say they want to avoid, but she's also a blonde. If that's what men really want, why not just say it, and stop blaming black women for the breakdown of black-male/black-female relationships?




In the end, I do feel sorry for Tiger Woods, his wife, and his two children. No one should have to publicly deal with all the unpleasant details of their marriage being plastered on the front page every day. But among the many lessons to be learned here is an obvious and simple one that I hope men of color won't soon forget: you can't always judge a book by its cover. If you do, don't be surprised when that book one day comes at you with a 9-iron[/b]

adolfe bad:
Is there any naija lady who dosn't feel the urge to hit her man when she's extremely angry
or
pour a drink on him when she catches him dining with another??

yes i do, but don't women from other races do this.

why do u men treat us differently, i have had many a naija man tell me that if i was white he would not try some of the shit he does.

so maybe if u treated us better we wouldn't be angry (that's if we actually are) u see these men doing all sorts for a white woman but then will sit their lazy backside at home expecting their naija woman to serve them from morning till twilight.

anyway I'm fed up of these self haters - i know u men are talking about ur own mothers b4 u are referring to the rest of the black female population. or do u all have white mothers - KMT in laughter

so is that why all the girls were envious of the way i talk? the funniest is the ones who have just landed and are already forming accent. na wah o!

some of the responses in the first box are so bush and ignorant it makes me mad. so women should do family planning and after having 12 kids u will now come to me to pay ur kids school fees.

these women are an embarrassment. where is the evidence that the pill affects ur fertility.

mbulela:
in my view, this is an isolated case.
the average nigerian loves his life too much to go into sucide bombing.
it is not in our make up.

u know that and i know that but when ur being harrassed at heathrow - do you think the GCSE educated person that has the power to frustrate ur travel know that.

Princek12:
Watching CNN and Fox news repeat and stress his Nigerian nationality makes me sad!

its hurting my ear, so now this is what we will be known for. as if our nations reputation is not nad enough as it is

people stop looking at what has happened today and look at the wider long term implications of this case. Yes Nigerians get denied visa all the time  but now it will be worse , and no America will not be invading Nigeria - lets get real for the people who are saying there will be a war.

anyway now they will stop allowing people to carry anything as hand luggage now, u think  the west looks at this as "he is from the north" the way the news here keep repeating Nigeria is hurting my ear.

they are saying that they gave (the FBI) NIGERIA 3 body screening things for people travelling out of the country - now i have been to Nigeria 6 times in the past 18 months and have not seen any new screening machine so only God knows what our wonderful (dripping sarcasm) government have done with them. so now expect more stress when you travel out and you are Nigerian.

and please can someone tell me why this stupid boy with all his money and education would do something like this - watching sky news now and his central London apartment is not for the normal student u see. when they release him from hospital i hope they put him in one of the toughest prisons in America - dropping the soap will be the least of his problems - but knowing Nigeria they will get him deported to Nigeria where he will do big boy for naija.

this useless 23 year old has now caused increase hassle when travelling - u people think  it will be restricted to America - na lie - its will now become worldwide rules.

90% of uk guys are a waste of time.

nigerian guys in the UK are something else.