₦airaland Forum

frozen70:
Children all the way

They are the least person that will brake your heart

damaged woman. Stick to babymama o.

Seahawk:
According to studies carried out in the US. Men are stressing women more than all their children. And this is a country where men tend to help out more in the homes than in Nigeria. Imagine the stress of Nigerian wives

https://www.healthy-holistic-living.com/family-life-stress.html

More studies show that generally, women have been known to thrive more after divorce or the death of a spouse. When you see these women shining, people hate on them and accuse them of killing their husbands (typically in the african sytem). It’s just common sense that the thing sucking their energy away is no longer there, so they flourish.

That’s also the reason why men can hardly cope after the loss of a spouse through divorce or death. They tend to remarry as soon any woman will say yes to them. On the other hand, women tend to be more picky of subsequent spouses especially if they have young kids to worry about (concerns about sexual abuse and what not).

So shove this hogwash where the sun don’t shine

Caveat: if a woman has a good spouse and ends up loosing him, of course she will be more affected by it than if she rid herself of a bothersome, abusive and/or unfaithful spouse. So not all women do better without their spouses. But a significant number do hence it matters

these feminists lol...ok face reality. The reason men tend to remarry is cos there are still so many single women or babymamas desperately in need of a relationship. As long as the man is financially stable its almost certain in less than 5years hed have started a new family. There are exceptions to this rule. The only thing that affects the man is perhaps the children. The greatest losers and ones affected are the kids. Women on the other hand in desperation settle for less ie a toyboy or a man whose for obvious reasons. Which o0% of the time results on a separation. Whether 18 or 31 century, women age faster than men and become less appealing once children are involved. Women in the West as you claim are so desperate they would do anything to even date very illiterate 3 world nation men hoping to tie them down in marriage.
So this narrative your preaching here can fly for people that aren't well travelled. We know it's even easier fo get stable relationships here than in the West. There are thousands of men that reconcile with kids when they grow but the real damaged people are the kids. I haven't seen any divorced woman that's had a stable relationship. They all ususlly become cougars ..no abuse intended.

Pipedreams:
Ur getting it all wrong. I love my dad. Not staying in his housr dont mean i hate him. I try to call him once a week and see him twice a month. But u cant compare the closeness i have with my mum

wht u don't understand is dads and mums r different. The way we show love for dads is different from how we show love to mums. A dad will find it weird if you shiw him the love meant for mum. Ok the advise u seek from a dad is different from that from mums. Finally relationships depend on the said parents idiosyncrasies.

Pipedreams:
Maybe you never had a toxic parent

my dad chased I and my elder brother with a gun and SHOT(we don't know where he directed his double barrel)at us. We bashed his car. As teenagers we don't know how terrible we are till we grow into men. So tell me if your dad was half as toxic as u call it ..... I dnt wanna talk of the terror we faced in our heads . It was all for our own good. And I deeply apprec8 his strictness. It's really sad when I see children like you who have never paid or taken care of a child sit down there and criticise your dad's who give their lives for you. Well i was once like you in time youd realise.

Zoharariel:
Your father is an honourable man . He's trying to instill discipline & moral values into you. Our behaviour is habit-driven and so it is important to instill discipline in a child at an early age.

I grew up in a military home and my father (he's late now) was a no-nonsense man. I also experienced some of the pains you're going through but I neither understand nor appreciate my father's cold & brutish attitude towards me until I grew up.

Most of children of nowadays are spoilt rotten tomatoes.

I was at the Ikeja City Mall a couple of days ago and I sat at the open area of Rhasodys - drinking a bottle of Heineken & smoking a few sticks of cigarette.

A pregnant woman carrying her daughter and a son of about 5years approached & sat next to my table. It was around 6pm and the place was pretty busy.

You won't believe that this woman's son kept running from table to table disturbing the customers and almost spilling their drinks. All the mother could do was shout: "Chibuzo, I won't buy you Ice cream today".

I was seething with anger.

At a point, the boy attempted to climb the railings and the mother quickly got up & pulled him back.

If not that people around would chastise me, I was tempted to give the boy a falcon-slap that will leave him & his mother dazed for at least 3days.

Look around, our society is a mirror & reflection of the poor norms & values that are being instilled in wards in most homes - and the primary reason why corruption remains deeply entrenched in our national ethics, politics, civil society, public & private sectors.

You said when you see people wishing their father were alive, you wonder.

Maybe, if their father were to be alive, majority of them wouldn't have turned into prostitutes, kidnappers, yahoo-yahoo & ritualist.

I am forever be grateful to my father for all the values & lessons he instilled in me even though we were never close.

my dad is late. Don't mind the mumu . As I grow older upkeep wishing I had my dad around more and more. Truth is you never know what you have until you lose it. For a man......a fathers presence is simply non disputable.

nahzyla:
This isnt always the case.
Some men will not reciprocate kindness, they will keep demanding more and more when they see that the woman is eager to please them. Not becuase they never liked her but just so they can feel important/like big ì and feed their ego.

Some people are naturally ungrateful.

nope then he never liked her. Truth is most chics dont evn know a guy tht likes them.

Jermat20:
You're a big fool. I almost collapse

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllppp..

LadySarah:
She knows her husband .she is also trying to secure their future,their children's.
I know someone whose husband was like this and she had to take a bold step like this.When she revealed what she achieved ,her husband broke down in tears.

He doesn't joke with her now and also doesn't fail to tell ppl what the wife did.He has put her in charge of finances and has curbed his excess spending habit.

I'm trying to understand why the man wants to divorce her,even when his name is on the property.

You marry someone who strengthen s ur weakness not ignore it.That's why you are a team.Gosh!

I'm married and my dh says it's no big deal

do u have separate accounts and the lsco of trust on finances they had...?!!! Your husband is not in those shoes. Once you lie about ur resources to the extent u can build a house to YOUR TASTE , STYLE, DESIGN, VICINITY without even askn for his opinion......naaaa ..if you're truthful to yourself its a negative. So what else has she done behind him whyl he's struggling n remaining broke.... Naaaaaa

neoG:
Yeah am not arguing that but in this case, what have been done have been done. Is just to look for the way forward dead. As a man over look somethings women do in other to save yourself unnecessary headache in this life

this type of issue isn't overlooked cos it'll forever hunt him even can cause him to lose respect in front of the kids

phase1:
Actually from our own laboratory records and as a Medical Scientist, yorubas make more enquiry and patronize us for paternity tests more than any other tribe in Nigeria. If not for ethical issues I would have published the data here.

I'm not being biased, it's just the evidence-based fact.

where's your laboratory and do u have payment plans.?

Truth is if any girl plays her game tight the average man will starve himself to pls her. Except he never liked her. On the other hand an abusive insolent saucy disrespectful chic will NVR get anything from a man. Same way a man that doesn't gve attention to a woman can't get love. Women have increasingly become very saucy and egotistical.

Do guys have best friends?!!.

When they were begging for loans up and down from China they didn't know they were foreclosing their future. Same way our dullardeen is borrowing from them. China is looking for a way to test their tech. If una like try them.

neoG:
Please did anyone see where the woman said "he will take the money off her as HE HAD DONE BEFORE?"
She did wrong but no responsible man will have a woman who is ready to submit her money to him (which is rare these days) and will take it off her to do something else.
If you understand the bondage in paying house rent most especially as a family man and the money is not always there to pay, u will appreciate what it means to be a house owner.
He should forgive, swallow his prikkde, move in there and then buy time to build the one he will move his family into while they put up this 5 bedroom for rent.
If he refuses, the woman should call for a family meeting and to keep begging him for forgiveness not stopping stall.
If he still refuses, she should give him time and pray for him.
But I advise the woman never to live in regrets cos I feel this woman meant no harm.

you dont know women... Any day theres an altercation shell remind you how uve nvr done anything for her even the house you live in " you didn't contribute a dime to it" how shes been carrying the load of the family on her shoulders , shell genuinely forget the mans spent all he had running their home.

. You don't know what wonen are capable of. They're not built like men. If they give they expect sompn in return and will forever hold you to ransom. Even our mothers....dont you know that line of " I carried you for nine months...made you what you are".....forgetting somebody also did same for em. Let them sell the house and build anotger together. Cos even his kids will be told your father didn't even know when the house was built.

My goodness.... oyher countries ate looking for more medics this one is thinking of sending our to he farms. The present crop of ministers are the word weve ever had I think.

Beer is a din but sniffing gum n codeine is ok. Lool

FBIL:
Choose Enugu as Venue for maximum security, and variety of hotels as well as neat environment and freedom from Wike and Secondus interferences.
Steer clear of Buhari's North West, give it to North East
Choose an acceptable Vice from the South East
Share appointments without bias, especially to accomodate North Central.
Anything short of the above, my own South East state, which I understand too well, will vote Buhari this time because Kwankwaso is another Buhari coming for 8 years, so why won't us endure another Buhari for 4 years?

true bit where is the west in all this..gge west will prefer buhari if u do this. They need stakes. Buhari needs landslide if not hed rig it.

FBIL:
Choose Enugu as Venue for maximum security, and variety of hotels as well as neat environment and freedom from Wike and Secondus interferences.
Steer clear of Buhari's North West, give it to North East
Choose an acceptable Vice from the South East
Share appointments without bias, especially to accomodate North Central.
Anything short of the above, my own South East state, which I understand too well, will vote Buhari this time because Kwankwaso is another Buhari coming for 8 years, so why won't us endure another Buhari for 4 years?

true bit where is the west in all this..

mknigeriagreat:
They are all thieves. Buhari is still better than most of them and more honourable. The only issue with him is that age is not on his side anymore. But we will keep praying to God to grant him sound health and give him the know how wisdom to rule us.

atleast theyre thieves including buhari himself.. Pls how did abachas loot nigeria? Via PTF...plsss who was the head of that parastatal? Buhari. If in this era of Google u still spew this rubbish of his integrity ure clearly esatz educationally. Atleast the other looters used the funds to build Nigerian successful businesses for a start I know atiku has been running Intel for over 25yrs and guess what? He didn't build it in the north. He is the only northerners I know that set up a major biz in the south. The rest also have businesses theyve ran in various capacities.......errrmmmm buhari was a minister of petroleum when 2.8 million got missing in 1978 and in 1983 he was head of state plus ptf chairman YET he can't boast of one share he bought tlkless of a business hes managed. And you magically think he can run a country. Atleast make una use common sense naw.

jzun:
All were appointment made by the ruling coalition of the Igbo dominated NCNC and the Hausa/fulani NPC.

When in 2015 Buhari said he was going to give Igbos only 5% of appointments . They shouted blue murder but in 1960 they frustrated out many Yorubas by promoting there juniors over their head.

At University college Ibadan; Professor Ajose was the first black man on the board/council of the school and tghe automatic choice for first VC. He was sidelined because he was Yoruba. He left after University of Ife was created and went to become i8t's first VC.Note that Dike was so Junior to Ajose, it was like making a captain in the army commandant over a colonel. Igbos are tribalistic to the point that all the federal appointments, they did not concede one to the south eastern minorities.

OK I think I see the truth now. These igbos are terrible people no wonder with high cutoffs and fg backed impediments here and there they still succeed. Ohh no wonder.

Oh well ..these people are esoteric naturally
...afterall the first man on earth came down with a chain from heaven and till this day the chain still hangs in Ife, according to them.

Their penchant for revisionism is enigmical, little wonder the folklore of buharis clean slate was easy to force down on them .... The British govt (for those that know history will not dispute the fact colonialism or indirect rule failed woefully in the east especially the igbo people which did not go down well with British authorities)collaborated with igbos in filling up positions not just in The west but also even up north. The US consular office issued a memo concerning the uprising of 1966. I'm pretty sure the igbo NCNC govt connived with the US too. Only lazy intellectuals come up with folklore as history. The only evidence of history is the present. I know for sure the odds have been against the igbo since the civil war and yet they still excel in education commerce and even more internationally. I know most igbo multiillionaires arent connected to Fg contracts or oil but can we authoritatively say the same about the revisionists?. We expunged meritocracy lool where it got us.

Madam doesnt know it's irritating for someone to give birth for a man that doesnt want to have a child from her. It's like a man giving a woman Spanish fly knowing she doesn't want him and when shes vulnerable sleeps with her then ties her hand so she can't abort the child. Then suddenly starts expecting love from her. Any woman that can put herself in those shoes will understand why a lot of baby daddies are pained. Do you not know whizzys life and plans are wrecked cos an immature girl decided to give birth. If u give birth for a guy thats telling u he is not ready then be ready to face it.

Dumb question

How òooooooo or abracadabra ....like pmb told his brainless supporters.

The other one is living in a 2.1 million naira house. Orisisisii.. EVEN BANK managers dont live in such YET you cnt pay. So if he gives the three baby mamas same figures obviously theyll never agree to live togeda..what ppl don't know is that celebrities are over hyped and most of them lead fake lives......oga go just wreck. For pikin he battled you to remove but you wan use am tie am down. Atleast a man should be ready for a child either he wears a condom and if thatvfoesnt happen madam should do the needful.

Well dem never see anything lool.

Did u ppl see ADP crowd.....i shock. It was bigger than APC and PDP.

Collyno82:
if the daughter is the only child, the wife of the deceased man is the owner of the wealth the man gathered over this years. However, if it is a handed property in the village owned by the family, if they want to share such land, the daughter won't be included. It is necessary at this juncture to say that communal land is exclusively reserve for male children only in the part of Igbo land I came from.

ofcos communal inheritance belongs to the community. Would a foreigner just cos he's married from there suddenly start sharing the legacies with the sons of the soils? It's common sense. Either she chooses not to marry or forfeit it...

Collyno82:
I don't know the sidew of Igbo u came from,,, but where I was born, women has no fair share in their fathers household consequent upon the fact that they want their daughters to marry and never return back to their father's hamlet. She is not entitled to land, housing and other form of properties. Reason being that one day she will leave her fathers house to set up a nuclear family were her husband's properties automatically becomes her own and her children's inheritance. However, although is not written, is an age long custom which tradition bequeathed to the kwa language family of the Eboes. Be that as it may, some fathers out of love dedicates a portion of their wealth to their daughters to have something to fall back on in case their journey of marriage into another family unit is not rosy as such they will not suffer, having in mind that her children is an appendage of where she is coming from, known as "Nwanwa'' in our local parlance.

some fathers give a part of their wealth to their daughters, what if shes an only child ..would he give his wealth to his brothers and leave her empty handed? I like how u agreed some families leave their daughters various levels of inheritance, is it thos safe to say this is an unwritten rule practiced in igbo land. Or suddenly that way of life isnt part of our culture too. Like I said earlier these unwritten rules vary from family to family. I'm pretty sure if there a dispute concerning inheritance brought infront of any sane eze, he wouldn't rule that the daughter isnt entitled to any inheritance.

Collyno82:
FEMALE CHILD HAS RIGHT TO INHERIT FATHER'S PROPERTY IN IGBOLAND - SUPREME COURT

The Supreme Court has voided the Igbo law and custom, which forbid a female child from inheriting her late father’s estate, on the grounds that it is discriminatory and conflicts with the provision of the constitution.

The Supreme Court held that the practice conflicted with section 42(1)(a) and (2) of the 1999 Constitution. The judgment was on the appeal marked: SC.224/2004 filed by Mrs. Lois Chituru Ukeje (wife of the late Lazarus Ogbonna Ukeje) and their son, Enyinnaya Lazarus Ukeje against Ms. Gladys Ada Ukeje (the deceased’s daughter).

Gladys had sued the deceased’s wife and son before the Lagos High Court, claiming to be one of the deceased’s children and sought to be included among those to administer their deceased’s father’s estate.

The trial court found that she was a daughter to the deceased and that she was qualified to benefit from the estate of their father who died intestate in Lagos in 1981.

The Court of Appeal, Lagos to which Mrs. Lois Ukeje and Enyinnaya Ukeje appealed, upheld the decision of the trial court, prompting them to appeal to the Supreme Court.
*In its judgment last Friday, the Supreme Court held that the Court of Appeal, Lagos was right to have voided the Igbo’s native law and custom that disinherit female children.*

Justice Bode Rhodes-Vivour, who read the lead judgment, held that “no matter the circumstances of the birth of a female child, such a child is entitled to an inheritance from her later father’s estate.

“Consequently, the Igbo customary law, which disentitles a female child from partaking in the sharing of her deceased father’s estate is breach of Section 42(1) and (2) of the Constitution, a fundamental rights provision guaranteed to every Nigerian.

“The said discriminatory customary law is void as it conflicts with Section 42(1) and (2) of the Constitution. In the light of all that I have been saying, the appeal is dismissed. In the spirit of reconciliation, parties to bear their own costs,” Justice Rhodes-Vivour said.

Justices Walter Samuel Nkanu Onnoghen, Claral Bata Ogunbiyi, Kumai Bayang Aka’ahs and John Inyang Okoro, who were part of the panel that heard the appeal, agreed with the lead judgment.
http://www.cracong.org/supreme-court-upholds-right-of-female-child-to-inherit-properties-in-igboland/

theres no igbo law thats stops women from inheriting property. Yes its expected that every igbo woman must end up married which by implication severes ties to her original family but there's no law that states based on a woman's gender she can't inherit her FATHER'S (not mothers) wealth. In igbo land the head of the home and most married women focus on whatever their husbands inherited or have and assimilate thus if she has male siblings she would consider taking her dad's wealth to her new family which obviously she wouldn't think fair on her siblings; but if shes an only child in 100% sure she will inherit her dad's property or may have to share some part to keep some legacies in the family. Or better still shed be compelled to get very nearby in laws. These are not written down rules but mostly just based on equity common sense and negotiation. Let's stop basing traditions on nollywood low budget projects.......

Collyno82:
FEMALE CHILD HAS RIGHT TO INHERIT FATHER'S PROPERTY IN IGBOLAND - SUPREME COURT

The Supreme Court has voided the Igbo law and custom, which forbid a female child from inheriting her late father’s estate, on the grounds that it is discriminatory and conflicts with the provision of the constitution.

The Supreme Court held that the practice conflicted with section 42(1)(a) and (2) of the 1999 Constitution. The judgment was on the appeal marked: SC.224/2004 filed by Mrs. Lois Chituru Ukeje (wife of the late Lazarus Ogbonna Ukeje) and their son, Enyinnaya Lazarus Ukeje against Ms. Gladys Ada Ukeje (the deceased’s daughter).

Gladys had sued the deceased’s wife and son before the Lagos High Court, claiming to be one of the deceased’s children and sought to be included among those to administer their deceased’s father’s estate.

The trial court found that she was a daughter to the deceased and that she was qualified to benefit from the estate of their father who died intestate in Lagos in 1981.

The Court of Appeal, Lagos to which Mrs. Lois Ukeje and Enyinnaya Ukeje appealed, upheld the decision of the trial court, prompting them to appeal to the Supreme Court.
*In its judgment last Friday, the Supreme Court held that the Court of Appeal, Lagos was right to have voided the Igbo’s native law and custom that disinherit female children.*

Justice Bode Rhodes-Vivour, who read the lead judgment, held that “no matter the circumstances of the birth of a female child, such a child is entitled to an inheritance from her later father’s estate.

“Consequently, the Igbo customary law, which disentitles a female child from partaking in the sharing of her deceased father’s estate is breach of Section 42(1) and (2) of the Constitution, a fundamental rights provision guaranteed to every Nigerian.

“The said discriminatory customary law is void as it conflicts with Section 42(1) and (2) of the Constitution. In the light of all that I have been saying, the appeal is dismissed. In the spirit of reconciliation, parties to bear their own costs,” Justice Rhodes-Vivour said.

Justices Walter Samuel Nkanu Onnoghen, Claral Bata Ogunbiyi, Kumai Bayang Aka’ahs and John Inyang Okoro, who were part of the panel that heard the appeal, agreed with the lead judgment.
http://www.cracong.org/supreme-court-upholds-right-of-female-child-to-inherit-properties-in-igboland/

theres no igbo law thats stops women from inheriting property. Yes its expected that every igbo woman must end up married which by implication severes ties to her original family but there's no law that states based on a woman's gender she can't inherit her FATHER'S (not mothers) wealth. In igbo land the head of the home and most married women focus on whatever their husbands inherited or have and assimilate thus if she has male siblings she would consider taking her dad's wealth to her new family which obviously she wouldn't think fair on her siblings; but if shes an only child in 100% sure she will inherit her dad's property or may have to share some part to keep some legacies in the family. Or better still shed be compelled to get very nearby in laws. These are not written down rules but mostly just based on equity common sense and negotiation. Let's stop basing traditions on nollywood low budget projects.