₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkiee:
1. This is the Op wrote

2. As for the second portion in bold, which of my posts did I suggest he not seek a solution to a problem which he is obviously complaining is real for him?

Kobojunkiee:
Look, according to you, she hasn't changed since you married her, so she is not the problem here but your expectations of her is. These things aren't magical in nature.

So, what you should be asking yourself is how do you continue to live with things as they have always been. You claim it is deteriorating but your own words say what has been deteriorating is instead your patience.

Kobojunkiee:
This is the Op wrote

Still what I was saying<<< One sided sex..<<< Wife not enjoying it<<<< wanted solution to their problem... did I miss out anything in summary ?

Kobojunkiee:
According to the Op, this problem has been in existence for the 9 years of the marriage. It is not not recent discovery. He has ensured it for 9 years and she has accepted it for that same period as well.

Ofcourse sex is more enjoyable when both parties are into it, but it is not always the case, even in marriages where both individuals are considered to both have "healthy" sex drives. We all work with we have, even in marriage.

Go back through my post and you will see my suggestion is that he continues to work through the issue with his wife rather than blame her for it or put her down for not being able to match his pace. There are other ways married people can enjoy each other - sex is only one of those ways.

In my own understanding, Op was here to find solution...He was tired of the one sided love making.. he wants the wife to enjoy it the way he was... He was not blaming her because if he was, he would have carried on selfishly even when the wife was suffering and enduring it.. after all, the end result for any man that was having sex is ejaculation or am I wrong?

In terms of your previous comment and Advise, Yea I have seen one of your post where u asked the OP to continue enduring or better still keep on punishing the wife without looking for solution to their problems because according to you, the situation has lingered for long and they should leave it the way it was... That's a beautiful suggestion buddy...u deserve a high five ...

Kobojunkiee:
Unlike you, I like to consider the facts in all cases. Not inject my delusions into every which hole I can find.

If this woman was not enthused about sex going into the relationship, chances are she might remain that way even in the relationship and throughout. There is no transformational power that comes with being in a relationship. So no need to make a problem of this but work through it until...

Kobojunkiee:
Even the link you include does not suggest there is anything wrong with it provided it is not psychological in nature.

Here's a better link for you
Read up on it. You might learn a thing or two about people out there who are not you.

Provided it's not psychological in nature right?...You are basically waiting for them to spell it out to you that there's something wrong with no sex drive?....

One very disturbing thing I have noticed about you is that you always think you are right, You are never flexible when it comes to topics that u knew next to nothing about...

Seriously, If you think that No sex drive is 100% normal to you and you did not see it as a problem in any relationship....Then it is ok.. u can keep on telling yourself that ..

Kobojunkiee:
In his case, he also ought to Google "No sex drive"... it does exist and there is nothing wrong with those who have that too.

Not everyone loves sex or are enthused about it.

iPresh4s:
Bro, I don't see any problem here.

She dey even open leg without complaining

After 4 Kids

Bros take am easy

You even said you can't leave such a good woman, why bringing the matter here?

Fahdiga:
You can help by mentioning the mods

Fahdiga:
lalasticlala
Mynd44
OAM4J
Dominique
Rule 8
The third picture is a picture from endsars protest

9japride:
[color=#006600][/color]

I pity those that's hoping for sincerity by those that support injustice.

Pineapplelove:
I have been on nairaland as a guest since 2008 when I was registering for jamb at the cafe. I found a post that had to do with electricity and I love to fix anything electrical. So I signed up. Along the way I forgot my login.

About the insults on nairaland, it's because alot of folks now have access to the Internet compared to back then.

Mercychen:
A simple thing like " Ill be your friend" too is not equal to sleeping with her daughter.

The guy will not disclose how many times he has gone there to eat the woman's food. which was prolly what gave her the moral to request a loan from him.

Abeg!

Mercychen:
Why did you have to bring it here? What a kiss and tell.

You are dating her daughter and have prolly given her the impression that you're financially bouyant. She capitalized on your show-off now, you ran down here to loud it but when you were chopping her daughter, she didn't go about telling people. Not nice of you.

Im not trying to say you must give her. All I'm saying is, you should have just simply told your girl, you're not capable for now. Then remain silent about it instead of bringing it here.

Wrong potential son-in-law.

MagnificentPlan:
I should leave even if they pay back

Give them what U feel that will not hurt your pocket.. If they give u back cool.. if they don't nice.. but if her mother can open her mouth that she uses to eat yam and cocoyam and request for money, dear this is just the beginning..

Klass99:
Please come back and share what you read between the lines.

I read the story and thought that's a lot of deliquent behaviour for one child/teenager alone to have, how did it get to that point, what were the original parents doing, plus where are the parents in all of this?

This boy can be trained by hubby from afar, let him stay with the people who gave birth to him while OP's husband funds his education.

Some men are good at inviting problems into their homes and most are so hands off when it comes to moral/value training plus discipline of their kids and wards.

Fatherhood and parenting as a whole is not for everyone, why can't people understand this and stop constituting a nuisance for others by birthing children they cannot train or care for - it is so annoying.

Modified Richy I read your subsequent post and now understand what you mean.

She didn't want him in her house from the start doesn't mean she's lying about all of this and the boy isn't deliquent.

I didn't want a friend to visit for a short stay because each time she asked or suggested it, my spirit never felt excited or okay about it (and I usually love having my girl friends over) One time I agreed to it and when the weekend was around the corner I changed my mind because there was still a restlessness in my soul.

I finally allowed her to come so it won't be like I was deliberately avoiding her. Her stay/visit wasn't an enjoyable one, we parted ways with a bit of strain on our relationship and I am not sure I will be inviting her back anytime soon.

My point is that women are intuitive and when we sense things within our souls and don't want them, we are better off listening to that inner voice or nagging feeling we have. It is not about disliking the other person or never being pleased by anything they do.

Verysmart101:
I know u would wanna support her.u easily believed Tonto's ex bf voice note and ur now doubting hers right?

ruggedtimi:
but you read Tonto admitting one of these audios to be her voice but an old conversation. 98% of recorded calls and audio leaked to the media are always accurate.