₦airaland Forum

Estharfabian:
@Bolded...


Haven't You heard the Cliché saying.."The truth shall
set You free?"

Really...I Think his Reaction To finding Out himself Would be less aggravating if she rather confessed to it.

Like You said...she did nothing Wrong..Buh Really! This Is Nigeria...Some guys don't share Your views..They'd rather Wanna hear the truth..

PLUs--If she really wants to move on? that's the best thing to do...If He can't come to terms with the fact that she Had sex whilst they Broke up? then, they probably shouldn't be together.
Whichever, the truth would always suffice..eventually

Anyways....It's Your opinion afterall.

I'm aware a guy with a primeval mindset will want to know the truth in such situation. But then, not everything that one deserves to know that they should actually be told.

Somethings are best left unsaid and the truth doesn't always set one free in all scenarios. Truth doesn't always set one free and some truth are a leavening to one's ruination. When truth ferments risk and an imperilment it becomes senseless and powerless in evoking freedom. An armed robber on a wanted list won't reveal his hideout as the truth won't set him free.

The boyfriend ought to know that when one breaks up with their partner they are free to move on and live their lives in whatever manner they deem necessary. They don't have to dwell on a broken past but move on and whatever that transpired in their lives isn't their business anymore. So if they had not reconcile their differences she shouldn't move on and have sex if she so pleases?

Oh well, whatever decision she derives at its hers to make. We can only make suggestions whilst she draw conclusions.

Rapmoney:
Dis ma ehn! U get sense o!

Onye nna, I learnt from you o. I'm a fast learner.

Estharfabian:
Well, that's your opinion.


I still think She should tell him..So, he probably won't hear it from someone else. that might be messy!

We can't be totally certain he also "Mated''...based On Your "Assumptions".
nyways....Put Yourself In His shoes? Wouldn't You atleast wanna know?

Whenever he finds out she should apologise and tell why she did it and that was she was distraughted when it happened. Feign tears the much as she can and act completely remorseful. Chances are if he refused to forgive her when he finds out on his own he might still find it hard to forgive her when confessed.

On my part, on no circumstance would I really want to know a partner have sex with someone else. She had better bury it coz no matter how remorseful she feels the thoughts will forever linger in my mind and I'd think she would still cheat again in the future.

Let's even agree the guy didn't cheat during their brief break-up. But also, do you think the guy would have been bothered about confessing to his babe had it been he was the one who cheated?

Mhizkel:
A broken heart needs time to heal, but some people usually make the mistake of rushing into another hoping it would cover up for the previous.
Doing this, they later end up hurting the new partner.
I wonder why some people take relationship as a do or die affair. Others even think it's the only source of happiness. A wrong ideology!

Good evening

Very apt. The emboldened is true. Unhappy and disconsolate people embark on a relationship to seek for happiness when happiness is within and a self rummaging task. No one can guarantee another happiness if they are unhappy and can't cultivate the spirit of happiness themselves.

Estharfabian:
I Think You should tell him.
That way You'd clear Your conscience and come clean.


Nothing beats telling the Truth.If he really love You?
he'd forgive You.it'll might Hurt a bit? Buh he'd still Forgive yah Anyways..

Besides, It's not Like You cheated? Y'all broke Up Then..


Buh Really....Girl, Having Pity sex after a breakup Isn't always the best thing....Be wise next time! it makes You No less than a Cheap slutty hoe....No offense!

She doesn't have to tell him as they weren't in a relationship at the time the sex occurred and so it isn't cheating. It will only make things worse. For all we know the boyfriend himself might have mated with some other girl during same period. Let her let sleeping dogs lie.

Crap.

Mehn I gotta take advantage of this offer and apply for this job so I can become one of the future jet flying "Daddy" GO. This opportunity won't pass me by. Mbanu!

martineverest:
that's harsh, bro

Bruv, that's the nicest I can be in addressing cases where someone think they can intimidate another by virtue of their position, socio-economic level or rank in the society. I had worse to say and I can tell you that if I were that officer I'd have exploded immediately she addressed me as an ordinary officer and I won't mind losing my job or any other consequences that follow. I loathe intimidation under any form or guise.

What a foolish idiotic woman thinking coz she's a minister's wife she can manoeuvre her way through protocols. The irresponsible fool is even addressing a Nigerian police officer as an ordinary officer.

Who cares what religion you practice, if you want to gain access and register your sim you must be ready to unveil your face or fvck off. If I were that officer I wouldn't give a flying fvck who you are or who your hubby is and you're so not entering no where. Disgusting piece of sh1t.

Disgusting. These are potential paedophiles and I'm afraid for kids who lives in same vicinity as them. Pukes.

icedbeatz:
onye oma ekele kwa'm gi, ana emekwa? As for the hunter's enhanced skills i think it's better than the potential news flash of " a husband clubbed his wife to death" and other mind buggling news of what 9ja men who were frustrated by their wives end up doing to the wives. Let's recall the line in the bible that says if your left hand would lead you to hell cut it off so in other words the hunters are adhering to the words of the lord hahahaha. Since bringing one's wife over is a potential risk of turning your good life to hell then it's not worth it.

Odogwu, ana'm ekene kwa gi. Amaghi di'm na ibu nwa afor sef. You said it right. Rather than here stories that touches the heart by bringing the women abroad and start clashing a lot of the men prefers to leave them in Naija. Adiro eji ife ana eti na anya etie na n'imi. Mbanu.

TheSonOfMark:
[color=royalblue]
It always is. Guys should be more creative and original.

Here's an example : Everyone tells Abigail/Uduak/Chioma she's got beautiful eyes. Instead of reiterating that obvious fact, I could make an offhand comment like:

Me: "Why are your eyes misty? "

Her: "Misty? What do you mean? "

Me: "Well, everytime the walllight blinks, your eyes seem to reflect them".

Her: *smiles*

See? I complimented her without being obvious, lewd and randy about it. It's left for her to give meaning to my words. I've caused a 'storm' in her head. Something most guys didn't.

Wait, why am I even revealing this info to you? 'Trade secret'.


Cc: Ronald 4lif
[/color]

Boss mi. Lothario numero uno, keep lecturing us. Respect!

TheSonOfMark:
[color=royalblue]
Rule number 1: Never feed a lady's ego by complimenting her beauty. The only non-relative whose beauty I'd compliment is a woman I am DATING.

As a matter of fact, I act oblivious of their beauty...even though it is obvious.


THE MORE YOU FEED A WOMAN'S EGO, THE MORE YOU SEEM SERVILE TO HER. HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT, GUYS!
[/color]

Nothing can be more truer but do you just limit the compliment to your woman only. How about someone you're wooing and harnessing a relationship with?

daretodiffer:
I disagree with his piece and I hoping ypu will side with me on this.

Most people look attractive. The very attractive ones are not everywhere like the poster is making us to believe. Yes, the very beautiful ones might have issues nailing down a guy if they let it get into their heads however so is your average girl.

I believe his post should have addressed all women who believe that their looks are everything, Nigerian women to be precise (thanks to our men).




Cc Toks2008

True. But most of the time the most attractive women are the ones who allow their looks adulterate their character, owing to the fact that she has many admirers and falsely assumes the number of toasters she has equals to her self-worth.

And yes it cut across being beautiful as generally the more a girl feel wanted, attractive or not so attractive, the more she becomes imperious and develops overbearing attitude. So, though you are right but I think the most attractive ones are the most culpable here and that's why he focused on them.

I think Mr. Toks was right on this one. But I also think he should have specified who his audience are and don't lump all beautiful women together.

His piece is centralised about beautiful women and their misdemeanour which is capable of scaring potential suitors and men in general away. Well, I've got news for him and it's that not all women, beautiful or not, gives a hoot about marriage and live their lives trying to conform to what men want. And for such women, the idea of them pushing suitors away doesn't come into effect.

On this note, I'd say this piece is for those women who sees marriage as a priority and wish to take a leap. Be that as it may, it was needly written. Kudos.

daretodiffer:
How is it different from shagable or ‘I will definitely hit that'

All one and same thing. No difference.

Omotayor123:
Hmmm... I just hate the word "You are sexy"

To the ladies, the way you dress is the way you will be address.
Toks well done!

You should hate it and rightly so. The "you're sexy" flattery isn't a compliment but an insult and contemptuous remark designed to objectify women. Any woman who worth her onion should reprove and frown against it.

daretodiffer:
I don't think in most cases they would prevent her from marrying the guy especially if he is rich or is in oil/military service.

Lol @ if he's rich and works in an oil ministry. That must be sarcasm.

Only that I have a parent who are supple and amenable and believe in the right of their kids getting married to whoever they wish, whether from tafanja or Fernanda Po, no one can dare deny or challenge my right to marry whoever I decide to.

It's not even discussable that I want to marry someone and another person, parents or not, repudiates my choice. It's laughable to even attempt to usurp and assume such powers over another's persons life. The decision of a person one is supposed to sleep, eat, wake up and spend the rest of their lives with should be theirs only and need no interferance.

You're a lady and I don't specifically know the kind of advice to give you apart from discussing it with your parents in the most civil manner you can and highlight the reason(s) why he's the right one for you. If you were a guy I'd have told you to damn whatever they say and proceed with your marriage.

SINNZ:
Na me go live for VVIP section of the estate. Sinaj will be my neighbour by the right while BumBae will be my neighbour by the left. Lezz will live right opp me nd thesonofmark just across the estate. Prettythicksme will be my house help. Nubian113,diddyydiva,naughtynaughty and misspicy are the estate amebor while our official electricity guy will be obiorathesubtle. Dollyjoy is the estate's olosho while the official stripper will be lifeisabitch. Stfuareyougod, kinglekan and naijaboiy will be the estate's eligible bachelors that don't wanna get married while sickstars will be the desperate single mom looking for a hubby. Ggrin na the estate transgendered, silverdam is the official faggut, airforce1 is the hood artist that won't blow, joecutie is the estate's woman wrapper, cutehector is the honourable minister for stvpid people in the estate, Decker is the official lawyer, mamagee3 is the estate mad-woman, primeminister is the mayor, iamlegend1 will provide entertainment, mrcork will own the cosmetics parlour down the road and ofcourse, saintloveren is the estate's gateman.










#OkBye

You got the woman wrapper and gateman right.

Decker:
Guys will never learn. Stop proposing to women in public. Propose to them in private, when the two of you are alone. Then would you know if she is completely honest about accepting your proposal.
When you propose to women in public, they may say "yes" just to save you and themselves from embarrassment, not that they really want to. And then you will be putting them in a tight situation. Be wise! Please!

Not exactly accurate. If one is in a committed relationship and dating a woman who loves them they would know she'd agree to their proposal. Before proposing they must have even been talking about kids and their future together as husband and wife so it's not a problem if one pops the question in a public glare.

The OP and the guy were never in a subsisting relationship so their case shouldn't be employed as a touchstone in the issue of marriage proposals.

Also, the lady didn't just give him a hug, she must have kissed him, if not at the scene of the proposal she has locked lips with him before. The story doesn't seem concocted to me, though she must have spiced up some details.

Someone who travelled for his masters and who is expected to be away for a maximum of 2years and you couldn't wait and has already started cheating. Una women sha.

Dude is even understanding enough to be sending you money and you still couldn't stay faithful. And you expect us to believe that it's only hugging that you have done with the yahoo guy? Akuko Mike Ejeagha.

daretodiffer:
I agree however can you ask yourself if that arrangement where any little thing, she would be threatened with her kids/home is the ideal? They are no longer in Nigeria, and I don't see why she should continue to subject herself to frequent anxiety that shouldn't have existed in the first place.

There must be a balance somewhere. The man should abuse her neither should the woman act like a f.ool.

True but it's never been about right or wrong but about traditional family roles as obtainable in Nigeria and Africa at large. And it being wrong depends on who's examining it, for the West it's wrong but for the African man it's right. We were brought up as superior beings to women and the head of the family whose decision should be final, so we feel threatened whenever our rank is challenged.

Just like they say when a bird learns to fly without perching a hunter will fling without missing his target so as the diaspora Nigerian man has realizes the best approach is to settle their wives home. And forestall any drama by bringing them abroad.

daretodiffer:
I agree with you but you have to agree that Ssome men bring their wives here and blackmail/abuse them emotionally because they have brought them here

Before going into a marriage in Nigeria these women know a man is the head of the family, his decisions are usually final and mustn't go challenged. The man is superior and has the final say. And they are okay with such arrangement and which is culturally and religiously encouraged.

Living in Nigeria they embrace this obviously archaic family arrangement with their hubby. But once they relocate abroad to join him and start realising that the extant laws abroad doesn't recognise such superiority practice and leadership role attached to men they start challenging him. They start opposing his decisions which ordinarily they would have had no problem with were they in Nigeria.

Who then is the problem? The man never changed coz he's still same person with same superiority mentality. However, the woman changed coz she rejected her conventional role of a wife, as practised in Nigeria, to defy the hubby authority and challenges him. She is the problem.

Mr. Lowkey, so with all your acclaim brains and everything you allowed a small girl reaps you off your money, not once or twice but on countless occasion.

Listen dude, the friendship from incipient was founded on you spending on her and her friends, and she consider you her free lunch ticket so there's no way you can still stay friends with her when you refuse to spend on her. The only way forward is to stop being friends. Lowkey bobo.

I don't do one. Rather remain single than involve in a no sex relationship.

Good move. If you want to live in Rome you must behave as Romans. Anyone who isn't interested and willing to learn English shouldn't live in Britain. They should vamoose. And please emulate France and bar the Hiqqab too.

I want to be able to see the face of the person walking down the street. I'm not even sure of their gender when all their faces are covered. Enough of the pandering and political correctness and grow some balls.

francizy:
When talents fail you, attention seeking stunts seems to be the next big thing.. Check out the following:

Olamide vs Don Jazzy

Dammy Krane vs Wizkid

Now Ice Prince vs Olosho..

All these in just January alone. Watch out for more of these kinda stunts as our talentless artists have found ways to keep you entertained while their pockets keeps swelling..

You forgot to add Davido and his baby mama.

Cutehector:
lol the amt was a scam...

So it's not even up to 65k and these people want to kill themselves. What difference will 65k make in a young man's life if not just feeding, rents etc and yet they can't even pay such an amount. Chai, Naija our country.

Some circumstances neccesitate men to leave their wives home and travel abroad. Some men marries and bring their wives abroad and this women on realising the many crazy laws that seeks to empower women will start misbehaving. Some go as far as kicking the men out of their homes. Why would other men not learn from such mistakes and leave their women in Nigeria?