This post is about "the children" it has nothing to do with who wins in a marraige, whether it is a man or woman that wins, is not important. But just because there is a conflict between the father and mother of 2 or 3 children, should not mean that either one (father or mother) have the right to abandon their children. Those kids were brought into this world to be taken care off, taught and also respected as fellow human beings.

If a father or mother thinks he or she has the right to abandon his/her kids because of a row, he/she should be ready to be abandoned by those same kids when they are grown. it is what they sow that they will reap. The kids have eyes,do you think they would leave their "insane" mother who took care of them for a "sane" man who was not there for them?

if it is introduced, there is nothing anybody can do about it. Just make sure the lawyer you get can fight in favour of you. If it reaches the court, the properties will be slashed into two, whether the Nigerian men and stingy men, like it or not. Same goes for the ladies with more dough and properties in a marraige.

Sisi_Kill: His wife has fed his kids lies that he is a bad daddy and he proves her wrong by. . .errr. . . by abndonding them?!!

If the momma is such a awful woman, won't it make more sense to be around more. . .so the children can at least have one not awful parent?

His liwwle ego is bruised, so to hell with his kiddies, let them remain with the baaaad woman without daddy, what concerns him yes?

So the man who abandons his kids just to spite his nasty wife is the one coming up smelling roses?

Hmmmm, Inneressssing!

Ah! Don't mind me. . .just musing out loud.

if i had seen this, i would not have posted again, You have finished the whole matter and spoken the main problem...True-to-da-that!!!!!!

baby_123:

Always the Nurses. Nurses come and defend yourselves!

You seem like you have a lot at stake in this. Maybe the man's heart who knows.

My thoughts exactly, because, really?? the man did not do anything at all to the woman and she just filed for divorce...just like that... ? it is scary. She is a nurse and so what?? is it with the overtime without rest that she sees herself as a "wealthy woman"? what will female doctors and engineers say?
- Anyways, poster steer clear, beause this one that you personally still communicate with your cousin's ex-husband and asking after his kids (i know is kinda a concern!!!!), but would rather you let them be and leave them alone, the guy obviously have his own agenda, that was why he has not gone to visit the kids "he calls his own". what type of man would just let a crazy woman have total control over the life of his children and don't look back, or visit them?

Hey everyone, happy newyear to all, am happy that this thread is going stronger, people are motivated more than ever. Exercise rocks!!!!! not only will you loose the excess weight, but will be healthy and have a well-toned body. I have been exercising too, i try to do it 4 times a week at least, i walk 3 times and incorporate 30-45 min yoga and pilates for the preggers, and i feel great, it makes me loosen up, especially all those unnecessary tightness in my joints.

@HG, sorry for your loss, it is well, i pray his soul rest in peace, amen.
i hail everyone, modath, babs2011, mightlove(if she still has the time to log on ), Taitee, Agaba, Uche, the newbies, and the oldies i forgot typing their ids', i hope you all had a fantastic celeberation. Take care, might take me another 2-3 months to log on and comment again.

^^^^^^^^^^^ LOl....those are the ones i can tell from my head right now, that i know of, is it not better to start with my family and then extend it to others?, maybe do it family by family, clan by clan, village by village, city by city and State by state. that will give us more accurate data.

Sagamite:

Ah, any man wey no wan open ear hear, make im no hear.

Let them be ignoring the obvious so as not to upset women. I am very aware of women and I manage and hedge the risk in my best interest.

I will NEVER bury my head in the sand.

Fundamentally, I know when a woman loves me, she would most likely give me her all. But I also know when she stops loving me, it is possible I would be on par with her shyt and she would be willing to do any bad thing she has previously condemned and said she would never do. She would do it with no contrition, that is a possibility or even, in some cases, eventuality, I need to prepare myself for and protect my self-interest before it gets to that point.

- Women have very little contrition when they do bad and face no calumny.
- Women have an infinite capacity to justify breaking their word, promises and doing wrong.
- Women don't understand and cannot comprehend the meaning of fair.
- Women constantly look out for their self-interest as premier interest, if you are not part of her interest, she does not care much.
- Power brings out the worst in women, and they have no contrition when they use it unfairly ala https://www.nairaland.com/962850/ladies-which-these-dating-evils

And you think you know women, by your experience and exposure? "understanding a woman is not understanding a thing about her". then you can conveniently draw a valid conclusion. Only because what you think you know is usually not the case.

GenBuhari: @ ronkebp
The average life expectancy of 52 is too generous,compared to reality which I believe should be between 35 and 40:
You can work out a rough figure from your experience think of the first 8-10 deaths over the last 10years that come to your mind and average out their ages, as I have done below and you would be surprised.

Okay i gat you, lets use what i have so far for an analysis;
-my maternal grandfather :98 yrs
-my paternal grandad : 90
-my paternal grandmum: 105 yrs
-my aunt: 60 yrs
-my cousin :18 yrs

therefore the average age is 74.2 years
And that is just the people that are really close to me, i think such analysis can be done by going through some families, or towns/cities to get the accurate result. though we do not have good hospitals and good roads and all what not, but those that will live to a full age, would.

Sagamite:

They would use random sampling and there is something in statistics called "confidence intervals".

You Lagos ayounges better start believing. Nigeria does not end in VI, Ikoyi, Ikeja and your peperempe havens.

Most of you did not know about Olusosun rubbish dump and the kind of lives people live there if not for BBC making the "Welcome to Lagos documentary". That life was far from Sweet Sensation, Eko Hotels etc.

Nigeria is more than Lagos, majority of people in Lagos are suffering you just don't see them and Lagos represents less than 15% of the overall population. In a country you have this, better start believing:

https://www.nairaland.com/1055684/protesters-burn-us-flag-kano/2#12287083

LOL... you are right though, but that is why a new statistics would be appreciated, instead of living on what others have written for the past 20 - 40 years, new conclusions could be drawn from new statistics. Now!!!!! that will make more sense to me.

Big deal!!!!! he has the money and he is paying her. She does not have to create an extra leg or hands for him, before she gets something from him. If majority of people know what a marraige is all about, you will not be asking what her contributions were? The law must have a reason for allowing wealthy men to pay huge sums to their ex-wives, we all know how men/some men think,once they make the money, they can render the women to the bare floor, because they make the money rain, so it is better they think twice before tying the knot, or else that "said money" wil be slashed megaly.

I do not believe this stat...did they go to Nigeria, and knock on (say averagely) 50 houses in top cities of the nation, before drawing a conclusion? or just because they are making use of the articles of others that had been written years ago, it is now a valid conclusion? i have learnt not to rely on articles, even if 100 is posted what is the validity of the test and measurement used

smartmom:

Its a real problem when friend's kids misbehave and iits difficult to correct them because you think its not in your place to correct them. Recently a friend's kids with appalling manners really got me worked up and I just couldnt help it and just spanked one of them on her back right in front of her mom.

I later wondered if I should have done that since her mom did not thank me or reiterate it, but then again I could not stand to watch her stress the other people's kids who were better trained and get away with it leaving them miserable. Abeg, some parents enh!

you can say that again. God knows i was really angry and was letting it out little by little, the mother noticed the caprisone episode and pounced on the poor girl, and i was like, you have to open your mouth to correct her not beating her to a pulp, i said that (the beating) will only make matters worst. Study your child and know what he/she can do and cannot do.

coogar: how to handle a child throwing tantrum in public is to become like them. embarrass them if they embarrass you. the tactic is very easy. simply be like them and watch them blush!

watch this and thank me later....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6XZ-0ns2yA

Lol.......................that is an advert, can that really happen? i can't imagine falling and rolling myself on the floor where the whole world steps on.. that was really funny.

The truth when it comes to spanking is that kids are different, you will be surprised what works for child A and B will not work for child C. it is all about understanding your child. Some children understand the spoken words or common threats like; "if i catch you enh!!!", others, good spanking will give them a better understanding, for other kids in the third category, take away what they love most and you will see tears and adjustment.

So there is no way a parent will completely not touch for once any of his children, if it is really needed to jolt him back to reality. A friend's daughter came over to my house, this girl is 4 going on 5, but the truth is, i have noticed some ridiculous behaviour like 'lying' and taking things that was not given to her, i can manage anything in a child but to tell lies?? oh!!!!!! and it is as simple as going over my dining table to take the cake that was not given to her, when i asked her she said she did not take it, thinking she could pin it on my child (who does not eat cake or any sweet thing for that matter). My son spilled cereal grains on the floor, she was helping him pick them up and noticed she was stuffing some into her pockets,i overlooked that, she immediately drank her caprisone tossed the empty pack close to where my son was sitting and grabed his own, so i would think my son finished his first, but my son will never finish one caprisone and squeeze the empty pack, he does not know how to do those things yet. I was so angry and irritated, wondering what she would be doing in her own house, hmmmm!!! if she lives with me for only 2 weeks, she will change by force by fire, i can take tantrums and others, but a child to pilfer and lie, the world will come to an end when i start with such a child.

^^^^^^^ true that!!!

Welcome to my world. My son is 2 and he feels he owns the whole world when he goes out. i have since passed the stage of worrying when he throws tantrums outside. i Allow him, especially in a place like the mall...when he throws tantrums in the church, i just 'ship' him to the children church. I am patiently waiting till he turns 4, (By God's Grace) by then he will understand better not to misbehave when we go out in public.

Outstrip: Considering the whole world has seen her have sex she really is in no position to say what bodily part should be exposed. As for the lady changing her child's diaper on the table I will personally walk up to her and point out the bathroom to her.

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't mind the useless girl, talking about a mother who is breastfeeding her child in public. As if she does not breast/feed her b/a/n/gers in public.

I think if a parent is responsible enough, that is enough to an extent to teach your kids to be responsible, My son is just 2 (a very stubborn 2) but very wise, i noticed he loves to clean, and it is only because he sees me cleaning after any little thing, he knows to pick up his toys when he is done playing with them, he knows to wipe his hands and clean his table when he spills food or drink in it. God knows i don't have the time to teach a 2 yr old that can not speak so clearly yet, how to clean, but he loves to do everything he sees me or his dad do, that is why we are becoming extra careful with the language and attitudes around the house.

- A child should learn how to do chores around the house, whether male or female, they can be rewarded with anything the parents think is good enough for the kids, but the reward should not be always, maybe 2 in 10 chores successfully done, only beacuse they ought to know that hardwork is part of living, if you are lazy with house chores, there is no way that laziness will not be introduced into other aspects of life.

- they should learn how to communicate with others decently and not scream at the top of their voices, do not think you will get anything from me by being rude or throwing tantrums, hmmmmm!!!

-I can't do pets in my house, i know it is a good thing, but every little pet scares me, i love dogs but will never go close to them, cats, mbanu!!! i can't ooooo, they should make do with life-size toys.

- I believe in decency and moderation in everything, i love my kids dressing nice and living large, but in moderation, don't come home to me with a pierced ear if you are a boy, or tattoos, kai!!! you will tell me if you have ever seen tattoo on my body or your father's body. i would have been telling them by the time they are 8, because the kids here grow too fast for my liking. If they think they would be getting late-night outings and sleep overs, they have something else coming, because that is not going to happen. I am so ready for their teenage years.

- They should learn how to love and love genuinely, they should also learn to appreciate every little thing, it makes them self-sufficient.

I believe in re-incarnation to an extent, the only thing is, not everyone will re-incarnate, just a selected few.

For example, my grandmother believed my mum is a reincarnation of a woman that used to live in her family, the woman was very wealthy, neat and beautiful and died way before my mum was born. When my mum was born, she did not walk till she turned three, and during the time she was not able to work, my grandma took her to different prayer homes, and she was told that the woman who had died long time ago, came back as my own mother and needed her present family and successors to know that she actually came back, so she should take my mum to that woman's family, explain to them and they should check some of her stuffs that she left behind, that some beads would be found, they should wear those beads around my mum's wrists and ankles and sing her praise-chants, when everything was placed on my mum as it should be and the chants were song, my mum stood up immediately and began to walk. That dead-woman's family were filled with fear, love, admiration and wonder.

That is a personal experience.

the other is in the BIble, where Jesus told his disciples that Elijah came as John the baptist to be the fore-runner of Christ.

Like Ifyalways said, it is the spirit that gets a new body.

Tgirl4real:

U mean u can't allow ur babe dance with another dude at a parry?

lol, this reminded me of my one time boyfriend that would not let another guy dance with me at a party, and me i don't roll that way, i never dance with my boyfriends at a party, i love to be free and dance with the best male dancer on that floor, when i got home after that party, i dumped his ar//se// abegiii don't over-shield me, the guy is still wondering what he did wrong...

Tgirl4real:

Omo, d geh see beta thing, she talk am. If d guy doesn't have a low self esteem it shouldn't be a bother to him.

lol...the truth is there is no way on earth the guy will not feel anything...especially when he sees a man finer than him passing by with his babe drooling over the fine guy.....but really it is nothing, we all admire people everyday of our lives, if the guy was not there, the babe will still admire that guy. You will be surprised how those fine guys with money and 6 packs have nothing to offer.

I think i am the only one thinking differently, she admired him, big effing deal!!!!!......that has nothing to do with her intent to cheat on you. If she would cheat, she would without admiring anyone infront of you.

It could happen, especially if the guy does not know how to hit gently. you have a big di.ckson no need rough-riding, just a little rub here and there will make up for the whole, if your wife is not enjoying it with you, she is definitely not enjoying and too bad, with how interesting and fun "this thing" could be, someone is just suffering because of size.....shu!!!!!!!

Sagamite:

If she is not as strong as him, it is advisable she keeps her ghetto hands to herself.

Yeah she did not, and he decided to kill her. That guy is going down, that i know for sure, he will be taught not to beat other men's women.

RudySmith: @Ronkebp
why would a jobless man and a woman go into "getting married" when they do not have the source of survival? or where would they live.
We r not talking about 2 people begging in the street here, unless this is what u call an unemployed person. Many don't have a job but can survive with occasional jobs and family handouts here and there.

- is it the love that they shared will put food on the table?
if they *don't* get married, will that put food on their table? Married or not, everyone needs 2 put food on their tables, and if they r together, they can share ones meal.

- is it the love that will pay their house rents and bills?
Yes. If they live somewhere now separately, they can now both live together and save on rent/bills.

-Is it the love that will buy their personal needs and other stuffs?
If they can provide 4 such as single then let them share the little they have as married couple. No matter how people want 2 look at it, it is better 2 struggle together than on ur own. Maybe someday *he* can make some money and they share it, and the other day *she* can make some money and they share it. That's what unions are 4, 2 b stronger as a unit.

now if they have a business or petty trading on the side, then, in that case they are not jobless. they can still survive on that for "awhile". If there is nothing at all to fall on. My dear even the paupers with menial jobs are far better.

If they can survive as unemployed singles, meaning they can stay alive, then they surely can do so as a married couple.

What have you said so far? are you saying you support unemployed, jobless persons to get married? if you do, no problem no one is arguing that with you, you have your reasons. Likewise, i have my reasons not to support it. I hope that is clearer now. I don't have the strength to go back and forth for now.

RudySmith:

Are all poor people robbing for the sake of survival? There are supposedly more than 50% of Nigerian that could b considered poor, how do they make it? and if what they do is good enough 4 them, why can't it be good enough 4 a newly wedded couple.
Example: a guy is broke, stays in his parents BQ and have a job that gives him just enough 2 buy 3 square meals a day. his gf gets the same from selling pure water. techincally both r poor, but if they join forces 2gether, they can make it work as a unit. 2 is better than one in that instance.

why would a jobless man and a woman go into "getting married" when they do not have the source of survival? or where would they live.

- is it the love that they shared will put food on the table?
- is it the love that will pay their house rents and bills?
-Is it the love that will buy their personal needs and other stuffs?

now if they have a business or petty trading on the side, then, in that case they are not jobless. they can still survive on that for "awhile". If there is nothing at all to fall on. My dear even the paupers with menial jobs are far better.

camgal: Hey Nl, please help this video reach 500 views and share your opinions on whether a man hitting a girl can ever be justified by leaving comments on the video down below. Thank you so much

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YNMFxciY20&feature=plcp

That is why majority of dem-niggars get shot and killed. The guy was looking for where and who to pour his anger on and that lady was a prey.

- the lady initiated the first contact by hitting the guy first, but look at how the guy treated her, really? she is obviously not as strong as he is, what will he do when he fights with a man? he is a looser, we know men like that, that little insults from a woman makes them pee in their boxers, i don't like spineless idiots (both male and female) that rely on their strengths as a back-up plan.

Maybe what the other partner fell-inlove with is no longer there. The best thing is to start from the foundation of the problem.

Big deal, whatever rocks their boat, Sarah called Abraham her "lord". so it depends on what makes the speaker and hearer happy.