₦airaland Forum

Sagamite: Wetin be ojuju?



You are right and wrong.

You are right, there might be some men that would be thinking something bad, but definately the exception, not the norm if he is not using it to belittle them. Overwhelming majority would go away thinking "what can I do to get where he is".

You are wrong that it is only an evil-minded lady, who will hate on another sister. Probably 90% of women I have met in my life (and I have met alot ) casually hate on other women and I don't think they are evil-minded people. I just think they are women. It is a natural state, they always see other women as competition especially if they feel she has a lot going for her.

If she is in the gutters or butters (I hope you like my rhymes ), they are good at having empathy for her, as they are more comfortable with her. No wonder everytime you go to a club, you see a fine girl with a horrible looking/obese friend. This happens alot in teen and early 20s girlfriendships. The fine girl is happy to use the friend to be used as a contrast against her to emphasis her own good features. The friend on the other hand would do anything possible to block any good guy approaching her. Awon weere meji (two mad people).

Hmmmmmm!!!!!! good analysis, but i still feel it is an evil-minded person that would hate another for no justifiable reasons. When i was growing up and i am still growing, i have never had any issues with friends, i can't remember hating on anyone, whether they are prettier than i am or uglier, i just love people and i love my friends, there is a difference between cracking jokes about another person, ( i can say, "which kain shoe be this" ) and laugh over it, but that is not synonymous in any way to hating on another.

The poster's analysis is just about " women being wicked, jealous or hating another being" and that i call "evil minded-ness", anybody who has such a feeling towards another is just evil....simple.

On NL here, we all fight, joke and abuse one- another, and it doesn't mean i have to hate that person through my computer, i might ignore the person i had an exchange of words with, but it also does not mean i will not insult that person again when he/she makes an un-warranted statement, am i jealous of the person or hate him or her...MBANU!!!!!.E never reach that level.

armyofone: oh goodness!! how can i read those long epistle according to Saga? just to cast ojuju on ladies you wrote that
oh well
Ronkelus, how now, Sanu da zuwa. Yaya mijin da yara?

Sun na-nan!!! how you dey

Sagamite: You are wrong there, babes.

Firmly wrong.

This is a woman thing. It is gender-specific quality. Women unnecessarily hate on each other. Men tend to aspire to match the other man if he had something they do not have, rarely do they hate on him except he uses it to belittle them. Women tend to hate irrespective because they know they can harm her emotionally.

Men can't be harmed emotionally. If I had a Ferrari and some stewpid men try to snare at me and talk bitchyly behind my back, I would not feel hurt. I would laugh and take the car for a spin and demonstration on the spot (spin the wheels et al) to add to their misery. But reality is that, they are more likely to come over to congratulate or joke with me about how nice my car is and ask me what I do for a living and how much it cost. They would do it in awe, excitement and amazement. Then they would start treating me with reverence, not hate. That is men for you. Completely different!

Feel free to substitute "ferrari" with "hot wife/girl friend" in that statement. Men aspire, not hate. Women tend to hate on each other.

Una all know say I am not politically correct and don't aspire to be. I tell it as it is intelligently.

Nope, not in all cases, i still stand on my point that it is an evil-minded lady, who will hate on another sister. You are right that majority of the men might congratulate you on your "ferari" but trust me, another might be devising a means to steal that ferari from you, especially if he is evil minded, or he might be thinking of something evil should happen to the ferari, a negative person will always be negative, irrespective of gender. As a human being it is natural not to like the whole world, just because some people say they don't like this person or that person is not enough to conclude that women hate themselves.

Little wonder why so many teenage girls and boys commit suicide. Cell phone ko, cell phone ni. Let them grow-up earn their own money, they can buy what ever they like.

The issue at hand are qualities that are both in men and women. A woman behaves like a woman and a man behaves like a man. It is an evil-minded person that behaves evil irrespective of sexes; A good person has good attributes, we have heard of men that have poisoned/sent hired assasins against their brothers and friends to inherit their properties, and women have done the same to take over their friends or sister's properties, husbands inclusive.

So it is not a woman-thing but an evil person thing.

abbey621: In my vast experience with Nigerian women and black Americans, I can tell you emphatically that women naturally are obsessed with material things but the American babes(most of them) value time spent together, they are more understanding and are able to contribute together as long as you treat them with respect, an average American babe knows that it is her duty to contribute to part of the bills, no excuses but Nigerian babes from the on-set are taught to be parasite, they see males as sole providers, the absolute solution to all their problems and when a man falls short of this amplified status, he is immediately labelled as uncaring, inferior and irresponsible.

And it is the fault of the Nigerian women that some Nigerian men, do not want to live up to expectations?. You can't compare American women to Nigerian women because their culture and upbringing are parallel to that of the Nigerian culture. So look for other countries with similarities.

Poster, i think you mean you don't have those butterfly-feelings for you hubby, you know when you think about him and your heart skips a beat, when you think about his touch and you are melting and so on....you have never felt that way for him from the beginning and that is why you are still not having those crazy feelings for him. Not everybody is opportuned to marry the man they are really crazy about (majority of such unions turn sour anyway). Am sure you married him because of his good qualities and think maybe someday "i will love him or the love will grow...". Sometimes it happens, but majority of the times it remains the same story, we have seen men leave their wives because of the lack of the said "love".

There is nothing you can personally do at this point, you have managed with him for 12 years, you can manage with him for another 12, and another 12. The same way and method you used to still remain in the marraige, use it. But it will be unfair to that man, if you treat him anyhow because of the way you feel, you owe it to him to show him all the love and care you can give, after all, you knew this before you went into that marraige. Everybody makes mistake, you saw him worthy of forgiveness and that was why you forgave him, "let the past be" and move on.

You say you knew God since you were young, i guess you know that you can pray to Him and ask Him to touch your heart and fill your heart with love for your hubby. I wish you well.

harakiri: Truth be told, MOST women are materialistic. It's ingrained into their DNA. It's not so much of a bad thing coz that's how they are. Race has no stand here coz if white women are different, why do they hack a man's life to pieces in divorce proceedings? Nigeria is a very harsh place to live in so it brings out the animalistic instincts in women. In the western world, there are cushions provided for the citizens that doesn't make the women appear so desperate but all in all...every woman wants to marry Mr. Tall,Handsome,Generous and extremely RICH!!! That's the cold truth.

True, that is how it has been from Adam, women want "comfort" in every sense of the word, financial comfort, material comfort, marital comfort and so on.

I love money and that is just the truth, don't know of others shaa!!!
- give me affection and gift will love the guy to pieces and i mean a "forever" kind of thing,
- now!!you have affection and no gifts; understandable, but it should be due to lack of wada not because the guy does not know how to spend on gifts.
- Then no-affection but have gifts to throw around; shove the gifts up your*****.

Hey peeps, how are you? i can see the exercises are still everly strong. I cheated over the weekend, the idea was to have a long rest, could not resist doing 30 minutes pilates, i feel much better but am still on my break, weighed though on saturday and i am down 4 pounds, i think it was due to the detoxification i am doing, am loving it anyways, no exercise and the weight is coming off oh be my guest then!!!!! lol, can't wait to be back though, missed my cardio. Will see you all soon. And to the new peeps that have joined us, welcome aboard!!!!

Nonnyj, tell your friend to concentrate on how she will push that baby out, she has no problem at all, her husband cannot just imagine slamming a woman that is almost due, infact when i was heavily pregnant, my hubby knew not to come close.

Respect and honour is given to whom it is due. Just because you are an inlaw, does not warrant unnecessary behaviour, as long as you know your place and know that your married brother or sister have their own lives to live, there will not be any problem, failure to acknowledge that is the beginning of disrespect, disregard and trouble.

I did not scream during my son's birth, i was just shaking my head and holding tightly on to the sheets, because come to think of it, no amount of shouting or screaming can reduce the pain, so why not just bear it in silence!!!.I hated the contraction part though, that was the most painful part for me.

I will be making the yam peppersoup over the weekend, can't wait.

I will say the red/brown beans is richer.

Only if it is going to benefit me and my people, but as it is now, it is obviously not benefiting anyone.....

Wish i could be drinking water, the way almost everybody is drinking water. I need to up my game.
@HG, am here ooo, everly reading everyone's post, it is not easy to stay without exercising, but i need the rest jare, though, i am detoxifying, am doing a 7 day serious detoxification, so even if i over-indulge , i will still be fine. Miss exercising though!!!

titans: Ronkebp - I now totally understand what you mean..
And completely see things from your point of view especially
As she's fully aware of d damage she's done even in my absence,
Anyway what I expected was no matter what she should have still apologized
No harm in trying esp when she was once that family's favourite...
If she really cares about me den she wudnt av seen anytin wrong with apologizin,

@rockafella and dayokanu
Thanks 4 both advices but I'm serious fed up wit anytin relationship esp as d new gurl
In question isn't even showin any seriousness - well all d same, I need a vacation

Gat you now!!! Anyways, you deserve better than that chic, it is either she is full of pride or too ashamed to face your family in the first place. She chose the easy way out.

titans: @ronkebp - its not by force which is why she should leave me alone
Cos we clearly don't have any business been together...
I wish you knew how well she trampled upon d rites of my family just because
They choose 2b close 2her...

One question I wanna ask u ronke is - u have brothers and would you and your family
Smile at d fact that their women cheat on your brothers beyond reasonable doubts even before
Their faces and d clues where rite there-

Is that how carefree your family is . .

So and you think that by apologising to them, and they let her in, it would help the situation. What she did, cannot be undone, moreso she does not sound as being remorseful at all, she made the right decision by ending the relationship or else she will be forever ridiculed. Did you listen to her own story to know why she behaved the way she did? how long were you away for?

Why do you want her to apologise to your mum by force by fire? she was cheating on you and all of a sudden, the family got to know and you want her to apologise to your mum? if i were her too, i will not apologise and i will call it quits too. Dude get over her!!!. Whatever you intended having with her will hit the rock anyways, since all your family are involved in the relationship from the onset.

hi guys....how are we all doing..

So i will be taking a break, no exercise for me for the next 2 weeks, i have been ill and i think my body needs time to recover, i have some vitamins i am taking, it is going to take alot for me to refrain myslef from exercising, but i really do not have a choice at this point. Will be back in 2 weeks, everyone should please have fun.!!!

@ HG, i hope your headache feels better.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!! POSTER, the ball is in your court.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!! will just close the door and wait outside till they finish the "thing".

coogar: what we should give back to nigeria?
you have to feed the hungry populace first before you can give to them.
nigerians put hunger before morals and ethics.

And that is the problem we are all having, when we put "hunger before doing the right thing" and that was how ESau lost his birth-right , As citizens we have so many things to accomplish on our own and helping the government and not waiting for them to do everything will go along way.There are so many rich big boiz in that Nigeria and they have their so-called social clubs, how many times have they decided to pull resources together to help their villages (at least start from there, if water is the main problem, get boys, let them dig wells and build a bore-hole there (gbam!!! water begins to flow). if it is roads ( gather yourselves, get contractors and tar the road), instead of driving feraris and living large, gather all those boys ( you think might be a nuisance some day, some where,), let them farm, let them be useful...pick some of those agberos'...send him to school, let him be useful to himself and family, and see if he will not give back when he gets there.

davidylan: the one we paid what did they do with it? I see their children enjoying our money here in obodo oyinbo.

Oh and you think you can pay taxes once and just don't pay again , the ones you pay abroad, is it continuous or just a one-time payment?

dayokanu: If you hear the argument of some nigerians you would wonder how the country would ever develop.

Some would complain about paying taxes abroad while driving on smooth well lit and policed roads, They would come to Naija where they don't pay taxes and still expect the same amenities in the countries that pay taxes.

Most of these people would smuggle their pregnant wives abroad to give birth and enjoy the benefits of taxes contributed by the so called "mumu" who pay taxes abroad

And that is just the natural mentality of Nigerians, there are so many things we all do that is just not right. we all like "awoof" but do not want to contribute to setting up the awoof, we all love already made beds, do you know that even here in the States, some Nigerians despite the fact that they pay taxes, still lie, during the tax return, they start to buy children up and down so that they can make more on their tax return....Now are we going to say it is the government that caused that?

Sorry guys, had to go and do my motherly and wifely duties.......... But am back, so where were we?

davidylan: I pay taxes here too. A lot of it. I deserve to share in the development. Nigeria didnt care for me all the yrs i lived there.

how much tax have you paid in your own country?

coogar: but that's the tactics used by the nigerian government.
impoverish their people to the point of insanity. the depths of poverty
would prevent even the most righteous man to embrace all sorta corruption
and crime. no hungry man can reason rationally - he must think of his belly first.

this is why the odious politicians are guaranteed to retain their positions.
the ones who are stubborn are quickly executed or thrown into jail.
this is not about waiting for the government to do something. you only ask such
questions in societies where systems work. sadly, nothing works in nigeria.

Nothing is working because we are part of why things are not working, how many people pays their NEPA OR PHCN bills? how many people pay their water bills? fine, the arguement will be, afterall there is no electricity supply then why pay? why not pay and see if the interruption will not be rectified. intsead people prefer to cut and join rope togther, ordinary exam, people cannot sit down to study for WAEC or Jamb, they will be paying for expos'...do you know how dirty the whole Nigeria system is Now, is it the government that will sit down and help you to study your books?, you went to the higher institution to study islamic education or crk, and you want to rob shoulders with medical doctors and enginneers, you bribe your way up to the post of the managing director, is it the government that is receiving the bribes?. The bulk of the problem lies with the citizens and not the government. Everybody wants to live above their means at all cost, for what to show-off!!!!

dayokanu: The same people who are educated , exposed and well travelled actually think you are infringing on their "FREEDOM" if you tell them not to blast music at night in residential area, tell them not flog their children mercilessly and maim them, not build houses anywhere they so desire you would see that the few who think otherwise are in the minority

That is to show you the type of people Nigeria is breeding, they go to other peoples countrys and serve them in every posiible way and go back home to rubbish-their own homes, their lands. You know the type of image Nigeria has in the western countries now, i don't need to bore you with the story anymore, the drug-traffickers, and the fraudtsters, is it the government that is helping them to misbehave?. I know what their arguement will center on, no good roads, no job, no money, but that arguement is not going to save them, the day they are caught.

coogar: and you believe in this crap?
people who steal money don't go into the banks like common people.
did you ever see james ibori or alameiseigha in the union bank branches transporting money?
you're right - the government cannot do it all because they are not even interested in doing anything.
so even if people want to effect a change, your government would frustrate their efforts.
it's all doom n gloom.

Yesooo, i believe once we all have a "change of mentality" everything will start falling into place in due time, the act of unnecessary respect, is part of what is killing Nigeria, you will see a police man, doing yes sir! yes sir!! to theives (only because they are pot-bellied, wearing italian shoes and agbada) and because of what they will gain from the man. If everyone know what they are supposed to do and what is expected of them as a citizen, things will shape up, instead of sitting on the shoulders of the government and expect them to "cook rice, serve you and spoon feed you"

coogar: wisdom in nigeria? is that your plan to restore sanity in nigeria?
you would soon be holding hands with dele giwa in the belly of the beast singing kumbaya.

, you are funny.....i reject it.