₦airaland Forum

i will suggest the guy should forgive her and move on with their lives. " without forgiveness, this love thingy will never work".

And what is nice about what he has posted? some are true but majority reeks of chauvinism.

1. so poster you will feel threatened if your woman has a PHD certificate

2. What is your business with her weavon? really ?

3. so you apprecuiate virgins hehn? and still go out to sleep with prostitutes!!! as if really you teach your women how to be good in bed.

4. so listening to Beyonce songs is now a sin

Poster i think you need to upgrade your thoughts, and come out of them, be ye separate from all this archaic mentality

We still dey here people?

Lets come to the conclusion of the matter, i asked my hubby last night and he said, since the lady has the money for the wedding, she should assist her fiance and pay for it and if she feels she cannot pay, then she should wait till when he saves up, which might take another 2 years. simple.!!!!

so i supoort my hubby's suggestion, Poster, help your fiance and pay for the wedding, if you cannot afford the remaining 80% just let him know, and both of you should put heads together, to either reduce all the expenses you have in mind and cut your coat according to your cloth. I wish you well.

dayokanu: Ronke, the plain truth is any human who has the guts to suggest borrowing for wedding deserves worse. I would have told her worse things sef if she ventured to suggest that to me.

Most men are okay with a simple wedding and get done with it, Its usually the women that want a big wedding, And if you as the bride can see the huge unbudgeted expense I have made and my financial situation and still insist on a huge wedding or I should go borrow to finance that huge wedding. Then i think the guy didnt insult him well enough

i trust myself. Omo Oyo- Oyo mesi oro (Oyo knows the appropriate reply). I would just tell her that if we want to borrow can we use her fathers house for collateral? Or thats the reason they dont have "ajeseku" in her family, they eat with all their mouth SIMPLE :8

this got me laughing....... , OYO meesi oro, indeed.

dayokanu: THAT your friends wife has committed an abomination in the eyes of the OP and women here. How can a woman help with her own wedding.

And from your post it seemed the wedding was in Enugu, So the chances are that the wife is also an Igbo girl which shows us this is not a problem with Igbos (so don't give Igbos a bad name) but just the greedy and self centered OP who wants her groom to go and borrow for a wedding ceremony

Dayo, you are missing the points of some women here. Let me tell you personally, though some women can be stingy, if the poster in question did not see anything wrong in her fiance's attitude, she will not come here to lament. Majority of women will love to help their partners, infact you don't have to ask, as it was in the case of the poster above.

But this poster's man, already had it in mind that "anyways, the lady can foot the bill, if he doesn't" hence his lack of seriousness. And that is why i liked CC's first comment on the manner of approach and attitude, there is nothing wrong, on calling his fiance sitting her down, and letting her know that this is the situation of things, "what should we do"?? infact without even making any suggestions, the lady will cough out the money. we all need to learn how to talk to eachother with wisdom.

dayokanu: As at 2007 when I was looking for a house in Surulere the cost of a 2 bedroom was around 500k, I would have paid for at least 2 yrs, Some landlords wanted 3yrs added to agreement, commission and agency

My cousin just rented a house in Magodo and he paid 1.2m a yr for it in 2011. 2.4m for 2yrs plus agency commission and everything over 3.5m

So you need to update your ideas about rental costs in Nigeria. Is it not in the same Nigeria where they sell a plot of Land for 400m thats over 3m Dollars for an empty land that even floods in rainy season

I thought the rent thingy has been reduced to 1 year now especially in Lagos, instead of the 2 or 3 years that lanlords request

dayokanu: His rent expires in September and he would have simply extended by paying one year rent. If you pay 1m for extension you would definitely pay over 3m in a new apartment cos Now he has to pay multiple years, renovate, clean, pay agency fees etc which upset his budget.

The solution is simple and you have said it. Postpone or cancel the wedding if the OP is not willing to contribute

But given her dumb outlook to life she think borrowing is a better option

Dayo for which area....lekki which renovation is there again in a new apartment?? that has just been newly built, did he get a 4 bedroom uncompleted building and decided to finish the building ni?

MRbrownJAY: *****MBJ goes on his knees and start praying*****

[b]In the name of Jesus, I want to thank you father for sparing my life from ever meeting such ungrateful wicked women/monsters, as some of the ones portrayed on this thread. o holy father pls keep on guiding me away from these leeches and guarding me from being trapped by one of them. I give you glory for your creation, but these our sistas are just too much, obviously the evil serpent still has a hold on their minds. In your name I bind all demonic forces that have come upon their possessed minds, and I seal all of them in the protection of Your Precious Blood that was shed for us on the cross. Mary, our Mother, we seek your guidance to lead these women on the right path with the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and surround us with your mantle of love to discourage these enemies of progress to ever succeed. St. Michael and our Guardian Angels, come protect us in battle against all the evil greedy ungrateful women that roam the earth. In the Name of Jesus, I bind and command all the powers and forces of evil to depart RIGHT NOW away from the minds of these lost women, our homes and our lands. And we thank you Lord Jesus for You are a faithful and compassionate God.

let me hear you say AMEN[/b]

And you ask 'amiss'

Claus: My thoughts have already been expressed by the likes of Debosky, but I just want to write sha.

Culture and tradition are functions of time. You hold on to certain traditions because they are good, not just because they have been there for years.

Perhaps because I'm used to the concept of a woman's family contributing to weddings, I find it very strange that it's causing an issue. Even if it's 80%, if the husband had to spend the money in an emergency situation (and this does look like an emergency situation since my understanding of rent in Naija is that when moving to a new place you have to pay several years rent in advance, but if your current rent is expiring, you'll just have to pay the next year's rent) then she should be happy to help out even at 80%.

If you feel there'll be pressure from society coz you paid for your own wedding, then society doesn't need to know who paid. This is where discretion will protect you.

If you feel there'll be some future negative reaction from your husband coz you paid, then you shouldn't marry him.

Claus i like what you have just posted here, but my question is, forget about the emergency situation, the guys rent was supposed to expire september anyways, that is, it will be a month or few weeks after his wedding. Where did he think he was going to get the money to renew his rent or get a new place?

dayokanu: Did you read the initial post? the man had his finances tied up, An unforseen circumstance of house about to collapse happened and he had to spend money he put aside for the wedding on getting another house for two of them.

Ok If the lady doesnt want to spend 80% on the wedding, then let her spend on the house and the man spend 100% on the wedding

Is that OK?

Or better still cancel the wedding altogether. Which is the best solution left to me

I read it well, he does not have enough money yet to marry and pay for the house, it is the same thing we are talking about, bobo yen o ni owo 'igbe-yawo yet. so the marraige ceremony should be postponed. If the lady wants the marraige "at all cost", then she should foot the bill. But am sure in the future, the man will brag about he was not the one that married her, she forced herself on him by paying for the wedding.

That man is not ready to marry, he obviously cannot afford it. They should just go to court and sign papers. He rents a house, ehen after that nko Nobody is saying the lady should not help, but for him to fold his hands and say the woman should foot 80% of the wedding bills, haba!!!. Kilode??, that attitude, is "after all it is you that wants to get married, so foot the bill yourself" [that is the message am getting from his statement]

My dear, take heart, things like this happens everyday, there is nothing you can do about it, and it is so not fun to be the victim, just forget about him and move on, it is part of life, if you let his case be an issue it will affect you real bad, remember if anything happens to you today, that guy will still continue living his life. You will find someone better, just give yourself time to heal and you will be fine. NEVER TRUST ANY MAN!!!!.

Sagamite: Thank you jare.

The Child Support Agency was looking for me again ni o for 15 different cases. I had to go underground for a while.

Infact, it shows you are a strong man....i support you jare, let me know if you need more women to test your abinibis' on.

A marraige has not failed until it has completely failed.

Sagamite: Well said!

Sagamilo....where have you been? welcome back.

Good morning guys,

@Burntcoal dear...if your body is aching too much, take panadol or tylenol depending on where you live, please try and do a warm-up before you start any exercise, and after the whole exercise always do a cool-down....that helps your heart rate go down slowly and stretching will help your whole body, it reduces the pain you will be having in your muscles and joints.

@Babs2011, my dear i full ground oooo, no shaking!!! how have you been seeing you are going strong on your exercises, good one.

@Freshface, sometimes you need a break, as long as you are watching what goes into your mouth and the quantity, you will be fine. but it is time you went back to your 1000 skips, my dear...you are strong, i did 500 the other day, i almost collapsed, though i felt good after it.

@HG, how far now....have you climbed the scale yet? lets hear ooooo
@modath, mightlove, Eschala hope you all are doing good.....lets keep up the good work.

Logs for yesterday 40 mins intense cardio, [you tube] it was really, really intense. had fun though.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Imagine that!

Dem nor dey fear sef?? Or maybe they wan register for the class

Oya my sister, carry on o! Let the lessons continue. You & Prof CC deserve serious pay rises [/quote]My dear, we need a raise oooo, in regards to that 'good girl' image you wrote about in your previous post, it is so true, but i read and still read lots of sexual books and i practicalize what i have read, i watch lots and lots of sexual movies, i hate to be boring on bed, you know, give the man, a reason to always look forward to coming home every night. Most women have alot to work on.

Majority of the time you do not want to have calculated and well-prepared for s/e/x, it is always good for it to be spontaneous, maybe after wactching a movie together, chatting on the balcony, taking a shower together, even during lunch or dinner, in the car when both are driving to whereever and whenever, during exercise..(during that time, the body is warm and ready for any action), talking about it all the time also helps better the bedroom swagger.(that is my special spice)

Hello guys, how are you all doing?

No exercise for me for friday anmd staurday.

Sunday, walked round for 45 minutes, took the exercise outside.

Yesterday 40 minutes intense cardio, very great!!! love it when i sweat,

The truth is, naturally i will not expect my brother's wife to be rude to my mum, all because she feels my mum is a tough woman,(which she really is) and having unnecessary fear that MIL is this or that is breeding a long-term problem. I don't have a Mother-inlaw, an i am not happy about that, because during the wedding, i was really sad for my hubby, he wished his parents were around to see him wed, i wished they were around for me to sit on thier laps and receive their blessings,when i had my baby, my mother cameover to help out, but i wished when she was leaving my MIL was on her way too to help out.

Not all MIL are mean and wicked, there are so many women that have worst mothers than their MIL, but will see the MIL as the problem, some women (DIL) are naturally evil and wicked, and will attack even when they are not being attacked. "Do unto others what you want them to do to you."

Nobody chooses to be poor, everybody wants to be rich, but their attitude towards life and their life in particular will determine whether they will be rich or poor. 'unseriousness, laziness and procastination' are part of the foundation of poverty.

armyofone: thanks Instructor Ronkulus. I appreaciate the walk thru.
i wish i can crack calculations the way i crack my guns and mil ammunitions.
Hugs.

how are ya Sauer, will need your help.

You are welcome, i hope you can work with that.

sauer: . . . and she turned mathematician overnight!

Mathematician ke, i no get that liver oooo, thank God for 'google'.