₦airaland Forum

Dimaya:
How was she feeling bossy?

o

She does something wrong to me and when I complain, she gives silent treatment, she expects me to call and apologise, when I call and try to tell her that she offended me, she calm I am the one at fault, reason why I always call and find way to makeup with her without apologing to her, mehn, it is like film, I japa.

Dimaya:
The guy must have been all over her.

That's why you must give women space and not overcrowd them.

Stop wiorshipping women

What happens when you overcrowd them, I once did that and babe kept feeling bossy.

Anyone has this book ''the rational male'', pls help a bro,seems it's no longer con PDFdrive.

My email is oogechukwu06@gmail.com

tomi4life:
I am 35 and my wife is 29, we have been married for 6 years now, we have 2 children a boy and a girl. We didnt court much during our courtship because of long distance.

I really have a problem with my wife and not sure what can be done to address, now I must be very honest am not sure there is anything I can do I just want to use the platform to vent my frustration.

My marriage has not been very good, lately myself and my wife leave like room mates and not lovers, despite the age difference between me and my wife she doesnt really respect me. For the 6 years we have been in marriage 3 things have caused all our fights: cooking, Sex and finance

My wife rarely cooks in the house, things around welfare are not taken seriously, actually in a week, my wife can cook for me just 1 time. She cooks for the children and baths for them daily, we also have a help who does alot of cooking. She rarely askes me what I will eat, honestly I always have to go to the kitchen to sort myself, sometimes I buy food outside from eateries and bucker. Sometimes when she cooks it usually very late 10pm. I have complained severally and what happen is she tries to change, after a week, we are back to the same state. My wife can do without cooking for me for weeks. It really really pains me cos am a foody and I knw hw my mum treats matters of food. she is this person that forms busy, either she is busy with work or some church activities, she always has an excuse. She goes to work only ones a weeks the remaining 4days are remote. To address this issue I now order soups from major restaurant outlets, An example is today easter sunday, I had to tell our maid to prepare rice for myself and the kids, cos my wife was in church, we all went to church but she decided to stay back, knowing fully well no food was prepared.

Sex: [/b]our sex life is very boring, when we got married we always fight about sex, cos anytime I ask for it she always complain she is tired, so what I now do is ask for it only sat morning, brethen this is only day I get sex. If I miss that day, it is still next week. We sleep in different rooms, she sleeps with the children in the master bedroom while I sleep alone in another room. I can tell most time she doesnt enjoy it and never ever askes for it, I always ask and initiate it. She just lays like a log, even kisses is a no no, except she is really on, which rarely happens.
[b]
Finance: I have always earned more than my wife, when we got married, I was earning 3 times what she was earning, but she changed jobs and got promoted severally and we were earning the same amount. she also does alot of side runs where she gets 200-300k monthly as side hustle, there was even a time she was earning more than I did. I dint let it bother me I continue to foot the entire house bills. 95% of the enitre house of comes from me, she only pays the maid , buys cooking gas and my sons diaper. Every other thing in the house is covered by me, house rent, school fees, project, all the bills. I give her 75k as food money monthly. I have continue to question her why I should give her food moeny if I still have to end up going out to eat. I think the only reason she sometime listens to me is cause i still provide the finances for the house. The time she was earning more I could see how she belittle some of my decisions. I just prayed to God, cos I noticed the respect was gone, when I talk to her about her role as a mum and mother to the home, she says she is working, she is busy, I mentioned to her that the money she works is for her, she doesnt share with the house, I have never asked her for it and am not against her working, she however should not neglect her responsibility as a mum. That my role as a father, God helping me is to provide, and this is why I work. I also noticed when I got a new job and my salary increased she kinda off felt jealous she didnt tell me but i noticed it, she began to aggressively look for jobs.


I really dont think we have that initmacy, we are just there, my wife cant come to tell me anything bothering her, she keeps to herself. Funny part is she is a very religious person, my wife will sleep with bible on her hand, wake up with bible pray and serve in various church unit, I however dont think she really understands what she reads. She also has a very bad temper sometimes when I raise certian issues, the ways she talks sometimes I have to hold back a response if not the whole thing will escalate. There are days I will raise certain issue up, the next things she mentions is " let just dissolve this marriage as it is not working" sometimes , I just refer her to her bible cos the utterances that come out of her mouth makes me doubt her understanding of Christianity.


I have never assaulted her, we have nt had any physically fight, what happens is most times when we have issues, I dont speak to her for days, then she come back apologizing. Sometimes when am wrong I also apologies.

Am not saying am perfect, I know there are areas I can do better, like in the buying off gift, I rarely buy her gift, not cause I cant but Cos she earns well and I believe she should buy whatever she needs with her money my wife earns approximately 800k monthy.


I expect my wife will support me but it like she is stressing me. when we go see my parent or our parent, it is all smiles, they dont knw hw stressful their daughter is, she even forms trying to serve me food and all.

Dont get me wrong she has some good side, but this thing is really getting into me. I dont drink, smoke or womanise, divorce is also not on the table for me.

I am sorry but you married a carecer woman, these type of women sees themselves as men, now that she earns more than you, she expects you to be the woman of the house.

The only thing that can make her change is if she loses that career of her's. I think there are many threads about these type of women con romance section

ibechris:
I totally disagree with u.

Don't use your situation to think others are passing through the same thing u are going through. In fact, the problem with most Nigerians is that,during courtships,most intending couples don't discuss matters that are of concern to their future.

They often don't prepare for the future and that is why,many are in dire need of financial and moral uplifting in their marriage.

In China,an average Chinese don't ever talk about marriage except they are able to acquire an apartment where he and his wife would live,but here in Nigeria,immediately a guy makes 5million naira he runs to marry and spend virtually all that he had acquired just to impress everyone.

That is why u see most marriage crashing on a daily basis.

Another reason is,most men marry liabilities and come back to regret ever making that mistake. I am not perfect,but I remembered asking my wife her financial role if we get married and what we would be investing our money into as time goes on. I also remembered,she once told me,that she would like me to take charge of whatever investment we shall be putting our money in since I was more versed in investment than her.

We discuss a lot that i can't say here.

Many intended couples invest so much time in preparing for wedding than preparing for marriage and the future ahead.

Lastly, before u prepare for marriage,sit down with ur wife to be,discuss money matters with her,don't marry a man or a woman who has no job,no hand work or education. If he or her parents are not rich,pls be careful. Some may be lucky while others may not be.

Note: many homes are enjoying their marriages and I am one of them,with this,i think I have made my points

Good luck.

Oga it worked for you, not all women are like your wife, and don't be so sure that she won't change tomorrow.

All these discuss finance with your woman, Nigeria woman?

rainmaker12:
It's not about leveling up, stop deceiving yoursef. A man can have more money and everything and a woman still refuses to submit, simply because she's also earning good money, that has nothing to do with upgrade.

Don't say they have other men pressing their mumu button, THEY DO NOT......as long as they like you.

Same man, same women, once she has a upper hand, she becomes arrogant. She moves to next man and continues her pride.......

You are motivated to level up because your woman is oppressing you...lol...

Not all successful Women are arrogant. If they submit to any man, they are not in this class we talking about/what the OP is referring to. Don't mix attitude of a woman that likes a man vs one that doesn't, obviously they won't be kind to the latter........That's not what we talking here.

These set, like you but refuse to submit. They don't cheat either, so there's nobody pressing any mumu button, button no dey to press.

How many of these types have you been in relationship with, because you perfectly know them very well, everything youa wrote up there is pure truth.

Imagine my woman telling giving me condition to submit to me, telling me to stop saying that i am a man, that it irritates her, never apologise when she is wrong, she will.rather go cool until i.apologise for her own wrong o, mehn, i rather become a monk.

SLAP44:
Only God knows what is paining you.

What else if not hate, Yoruba man with so much envy and jealousy, instead of working hard, they rather envy and bring hard working people down.

sunboy:
First, Anambra is land locked and does not have access to the sea.

2nd, Onne port records 240bn in 2022 which was a 20% increase from previous year yet you said it’s not functional? It also has 12 berths “functional” o and plans to increase to 19. Na ghost dey ship containers and oil through that port? Onne alone is responsible for over 60% of Nigerian exports. Yet you’re saying it’s not functional?

Calabar seaport is one of the largest seaports we have, Port of Warri and PH you saying are not functional ??

Are you being sarcastic ? You sit in your corner and constantly typing give us seaport bla bla bla but there are functional ports in your backyard that are underutilized smh

Keep waiting for a seaport in a state with no access to the sea.

Just as expected, sit in Ogun or Osun and know how functional ports are in the SS, based on what you read on the newspaper, who is importing from the so called Onne and Ph port, ghost?

I am in Onitsha, Onne and Ph is just 3hrs from Onitsha, and i.believe i know more than you that those shits are not functional.

Keep wailing sha.

sunboy:
And the 4 seaports in the South, why have they not been using that? Onne is the best manages seaport in naija, yet it is still considered underutilized. What other seaport you asking for again?

You see my problem with you guys, you just stay one place and assume things, their is no functional seaport in Nigeria outside Lagos, Yaradua tried to create one in Niger, Jonathan tried to create one at Oba, Anambra but all failed.

It is just like saying that we have a refinery in Warri and PH, they are not functional for decades, so wr can't count them, and so, it is not the responsibility of the state govts to get a seaport, those are FG role, the Lekki port is not even considered a port, if you have been to Apapa port.

achymmania:
The atlantic has no connection with the south east.
Even the southeast governor want seaport but there is very little they can do.

The best bet for the southeast is a southsouth sea port but this will not solve the problem, as every rational importer will perfer lagos port to every other port in Nigeria.

If the SE or SS have a seaport, why will igbo businessmen still use Lagos seaport considering the distance between SE and Lagos, the high cost of using Lagos seaport and the Lagos state govt level of extortion.

Pls define rational again?

senatordave1:
But you claimed to vote in taraba

No, i.came down to Onitsha a week to the elections, i.was getting updates from my lads in Jalingo.

SPAMBOX7:
Hahaha. I'd advise you swallow the redpill as much as you can. That's the only way you can handle ladies like that.
I have been there severally and currently still there. But this time I already see through her gimmicks and counters it before it escalates. Woman matter no hard na man dey do himself.
The rule is simple. She gotta submit 100% or you move to the next available chick. If that one too doesn't submit you move to the next till you find what you want. They are more women than men in the world.
Go to malls, parks, resorts, churches etc you will see tons of them.

Also rrmember at a time in your life you didn't know anyone like her existed and you was doing fine. So what makes you think you can't do better if she's not in the picture. She's like that cos she knows you can tolerate it and there is nothing you can do about it cos you can't afford to lose her. That's what her brains tell her.
Like I said men are the ones doing themselves

You are very right, i don't blame her one bit, i blame only myself.

highchief1:
their own daughter is now like a curse to them.may we never regret having kids.Even after the jail term he is crippled forever.It’s quite unfortunate.That boy is a wicked boy he won’t end well.

But the former deputy senate president who have through corrupt practice sent hundreds of people to early grave directly and indirectly will end well?

OnyeAshuaUru:
He represented his people well.
It's a pity this is happening to one of the few Enugu politicians who had the interest of his people at heart.

Who represented his people well? Are you for real?

Tescentre:
And you think your tribe is loved worldwide?
C’mon bro… cut down on some hatred.
It won’t take you far and it beclouds lots of good reasonings and opportunities.

I have studied Yoruba.people and the level of their hate, the way they hated Jonathan Goodluck up till date is what i don't understand.

tsdarkside:
this guy realy thinks he won instead....
its impossible....!!

you igbos seem to dont understand how disliked you are nationwide....

We love the dislike, as God love us and wr always proper. Keep hating.

blacksam01:
am disappointed in Obi that he didn't dispute the result from Anambra, he should have gone round to see what happened in Anambra...

see, ppl reminding themselves of the obligation to go and vote..infact u could rob a full estate on that day as the town state was empty and all went tto the polling station...iber hit 1million in Anambra ,he just doesn't know

Oboy, Anambra should have had 1m vote for Obi, in my area Awada, everywhere empty, my polling unit, there was no space again.

Tinubuwins2023e:
I think Peter Obi is a mad man and a threat to national security.

Haha e pain this one, you said he should go to court, now he is in court,why are you afriad.

SPAMBOX7:
There was really no need for this. Just ghost the werey and find another replacement asap. It's not only the working class. All women are like that when they know they can't be replaced easily.
Get a replacement and see how easy you will forget about her. In two months max you will see her coming back to you. They usually come back with blame tactics.

She has started it already, bringing up many tactics to reach out to be, blame tactics.

Banilla:
Cc: Blacksam01 Saintinoo

Go and make your money so you can afford high value women! You should be grateful they considered stooping low to date you! Men treat their poorer girlfriends/wives like sh**, women learnt from you horrible men! The same men who threaten to end their relationships to keep their women in line, the same men who cheat and justify it with the "I'm the head of the home and I can do whatever I want" bullsh**, the same men who regard themselves as demi-gods and expect to be treated as such!

May God bless feminists world wide! The tables are turning!!!

When you say '' go and make your money'' , i want to understand what you mean? probably you don't understand the topic, i am 10 times better financially than all the girls i have dated, so where is the high value woman shit coming from, i am even more educated than her, so what are you talking about.

Nice2023:
Are u married?

If u are not just keep quiet. There is nothing like generalisation in marriage.

What works for A would never work for B. That was why I gave an explicit explanation earlier.

Bye and keep ur thoughts to yourself.

You are here spilling rubbish, defending what you don't know, people are telling you their experience, not one, not two, not three and you are talking about your marriage, your marriage cannot be used as a factor to conclude that those folks don't do ehat the OP stated.

And when did it become an achievement to get married?

Nice2023:
My wife's friends who earns more than the husband till date has not had peace of mind. Despite the fact that the lady is humble.

Her husband is already intimidated,troubled and even want her to stop work for no obvious reason.

In fact,most men need to adjust seriously.

Do you live with them? Do you know why he lacks peace of mind, no man can be intimidated with his wife having her own money especially in this economic meltdown, but how do the womn treat you after being richer, no man want to play the role of a woman in his house.

Nice2023:
Now let me tell u this.

When I was single,I dated ladies not for sex or romance ok.

What do u do for a living was basically what encompasses our discussions then. Life,money career and a little outing and as u can see,many of us still keep in touch till date because it was all about competition amongst us.

And today,I was also lucky to marry my wife, who is a great competitor to me...she earns more salary than me,but as a smart guy,I make more from my side business than her. Our gross earning per month is roughly 3.2million.

Now,she is planning on setting up a side business like me and I have told her that I will support her.

Lesson: the fulcrum of the matter is that,the family is at the core of this whole competition and that does not remove the love we had at the beginning,in fact we are waxing strong.

Everyone with his own reality.

Before u still doubt me,my wife is a group head of operations of a financial institution in Abuja and I was once a banker before I left to a government job.

Note: i don't want u to believe me ok at all.

It worked for you bro, just as it worked for a friend of mine, his wife, a nurse with a federal teaching hospital bought him a car, this guy earn 30k as a principal on a private secondary school but she submits to him like a house wife.

In all bad, there are still few good ones, but the truth is that majority of em career women are just like the OP stated.

Mind you, any man that condones a disrepectful wife is no longer a man, i don't know how you were brought up though.

angiography:
She will find a man, be successful in her marriage and career. All women want to date a man they can look up to. And when they do, they give them the utmost respect. The exception to this is common to all women irrespective of class

I will be the most happiest person if she finds a man and br successful in her marriage. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that people should take stupid behaviours from their date.

Polynek:
I don't like when someone generalize a behaviour simply bcox of his/her experience,
There are good educated ladies and there are bad one's.
That you met few bad ones doesn't mean they are all the same.

The OP said he has dated 5, i was dating one some weeks ago, understand what OP mean by educated, not just being a graduate, these are career ladies we are talking about.

InfinityFabric:
Marrying such ladies is like marrying MAN, don't do it! There's no coping, only moping.

Mistake remind that they are women, they will bring down the house that day.

Dracula123:
While I want to agree that some educated ladies are like that, I strongly feel the men they are dating are a factor of their behavior. Why go after a career woman only to restrict her?
Other factors are accepting her financial support and still wanting to subject her to house wife's duty just like in the old. We all have rights both male and female.

I dated one sir, yes i agree that mrn are the cause of their behavior, but every man wants a lady who he will love and that same lady will respect him.

These set of ladies see submission as a way of becoming s failure, they see apologising for their wrong as weakness, they get angry when you refer them as women which they are.

Mehn, you will not understand until you date one, i rather marry an illiterate and live long than marry such women.

Nice2023:
U are dating women from a very questionable environment.

I can't even date woman who can not compete with me.

I like women who can compete with me anytime anyway.

It does not mean she is disrespecting me but that is the way it should be.

But if u don't have a business and not educated too...that is the worst for me.

You truely have not dated such women, if you had, you.won't say such.

ItisWell22:
I think the issue here is being with people who don’t value you as much as you value them.

You’re being with ladies who feel they’re the trophy, forgetting it should be all about complementing each other.

There are first class virgins who’re humble…

She had this sense of self importance, i am better than you type of mentality. This is a girl i vowed to support her reach her ambitions.

I think she felt she was more superior, because i could see signs of supremacy battle in the relationship.

Mehn, i japa, i know it will hurt me because i really loved her and made so many plans with her, but dating her means becoming her slave.