Ujujoan:

^^^Hubby & Wifey. Hubby four times a fool.

mxceewww!!! fools paradise.

ak47mann:

do you keep your this thing tight when doing oral

I'll leave that to your imagination, just like I do with my dates. Dont underestimate the power of imagination and dont forget your towel though  

@OP, its not cruel just childish. Think of it this way it could have been worse at least he didnt giv eup your name and picture.

Forget about him and find your own real love.

Lesson learned, never ever make love out of nothing. Your body is a sacret place and people cannot just come and take from it and dump in it just because they have nothing else to do with themselves.

Lesson from me, you dont have to have sex with anyone just because he's the only vailable thing now. Go out with him and have all the fun only keep sex out of the equation. You dont have to do it, trust me.

publisher:

tpia@

Emmm, madam or sir,is it that my style of writing is too sophisticated and impressive, so tey you use my own words to express your feminist views? Without my permission? I write my stuff, you write yours.

emm, @publisher @Tpia was just giving a balanced view of this matter. Why is it a problem to you. For a while there you had me going with your testosterone induced write up.

But as you may know best "no one is perfect 

Oh! BTW way how's the nag doing at home  Dont blame me @Tpia said it

macjive01:

SA LAdy, doesnt mk any sense going back n forth, so in your opinion other than suggesting with malicious intent that the gentleman shd sacrifice his scrotum for castration for the ultimate amusement of the wife ,

Or entrust his debt- ridden finiancial account over to his working wife to spend as she deem fit - including paying for a "girls" holiday to Jamaica where more than likely she n her friends wud get themselves mercilessly ravaged and pillaged by dope-eyed locals, what should the man do ? ( assume for a minute he is your friend for humanity sake)

@emboldment, Here's what you dont get, is that the deed is done already. He's looong been castrated (six months now) and the woman is living it up. Now six months down the line the mumu husband suddenly catches a wake.

jenny, jenny, jenny Not a single sensible person is going to say YES guy is right for doing the things he's been doing to remedy his domestic problem. And by the same token no sensible person is going to say the wife is right by doing what she's been doing. I think the entire thread agrees on that. My problem here is that this guy who is knocking on 50 past midlife crisis found nothing wrong with that in the first place. Now clearly this guy has either never learned anything about his self worth in a marriage or he definitely has a shaky esteem at his age.

He must reap what he sawed because he probably married a young woman thinking he could satisfy her with everything and now chances are, the age factor is catching up and you can clearly see the advantage and power play in this marriage from both sides. I am not covering up for anyone, but just speaking my truth. I have no mercy for anyone that is capable of subjecting themselves to mediocre that's my truth, all that's happening to this man is by his own fault as he chose to be an enabler.

He cannot come here and cry foul. If he didn't like what is happening in his marriage 3 months it started why did he carry on with it six months into it?? Now it would seem this story is different because guy has been loving this for six months, BTW six months is half a year people. I know a lot of married men who'll tell their women where to get off should they pull a stunt like that. Look when you are 14 years older than me I expect to learn an awful lot from you since you've been around a while longer than I have, don't ever dream of me seeing yourself for my age mate you are OLD that's it. Unfortunately the 49 year old is not teaching anything neither is he learning anything from this, except to be the one that feeds the cancer that's eating away at his marriage.

Now let this fool carry on to his grave. It would seem to me that this has always been the nature of his relationship because after 10 years of marriage people should at least know how to communicate sensibly with each other and should have looong established boundaries. But guess what it would seem this women has been having free flow since the age of her marriage. What bloody 49 going on 55 year old wants to subject himself to such problems is beyond me. It takes a fool.

I hear you when you say you dont support what he's doing, now hear me when I say I find no excuse that he started it and carried on with it for six months, and in that case he may as well do it till death do them part. Moral of the story never start something you cannot finish, but unfortunately we have 49yr olds who dont know that, YET. Life is not a rehearsal people.

We could go on and on about how the woman should have stated her issues in the marriage, reality of the situation is that oh well she didnt and guess what? hubby went and bought gifts and slaved away in the house, wooohoo! way to go hubby!! How dysfunctional?

Moral of the story, men should learn to marry within a reasonable age group, our life partners matter most when we are old and co-dependency is paramount. When he can no longer perform like a stallion and when her eggs have turned into powder and can no longer breed. Quite frankly when she no longer hangs out with friends that are still hosting baby showers making her envious of her friends who are still getting a lot of action with their men.

This guy may as well take a gun and shoot himself for all I care this woman could be getting a lot of action out there, while he's busy scrubbing the toilet and washing dishes.

macjive01:

Sorry man but cud u pls go sit down somewhere, can u?
Why wud u want to mk ursef a source of temptation and distraction in this summer?
Did u not read somewhere that she is a prayer warrior ? Fasting and prayer strong as well?


Abeg free her ooh, free her from unnessary distraction, We need more of such voice in this life. A Life women now think they re the gods and men shd/ needs to b shown a "lesson". Quoting SA lady:" such men shd be sexually starved to death!"


Are men becoming endangered specie ?

'haha!! Ofcourse they must be starved to death , if that's going to be the consequence of their actions. The man in question is trying to cure a perceived midlife crisis with his blatant midlife crisis. So let him starve, No wrong fixes another wrong, simple.

^^^ must you always hit the nail on its head

jennykadry:

Let me ask you some questions too: Is it a man's fault that his OWN wife for 6months have refused to be a wife? is it his fault that he married a woman whose family are afer the goodies he can offer? is it a man's bloody fault that his wife should act silly even after he has pampered her silly like a true man should?

A big fat YES to all your questions, he is indeed a fool. As a man a woman denies you s3x for 3 weeks you SPEAK UP and by month six she should know better.  DDon'tget me wrong I am not talking about the kind of man who will hharasshis wife to get some or even go get it somewhere, am talking about am man who understands his worth, position and needs in a marriage. So I am afraid this guy is three times a fool, or maybe four because the only clever thing he could suss out of this situation is that his wife is potentially going through a mid-life crisis, @Jenny C'mon now, work with me here.

Now, fact that you are applauding this guy for getting out of his way to pamper wife when times are tough has got me giggling. I'll tell you one thing I do not believe that anyone can ever fix any problem with their partner by buying them things, In fact by my standards I find it condescending. You cannot buy problems away, you either talk to people or call them to order, simple.

Let me not forget that some people think it possible that they can buy their way out of situations, what a shame I will not have anyone invalidate me like that.

hhmmmm! so am I married?? well I suppose problem solving skills is for married people alone. That's fine I'll pass.

eerrmmm!! Jenny guy needs to grow some balls, literally


No science but we all know that this guy is lacking somewhere and would break a bank trying to make up for his inadequacies no sane, confident and complete man will stoop this low, unless he is a sugar daddy who is clinging on to a relationship by its last and fine thread.

I say let the fool go get a loan from the bank buy some more gifts, scrub floors and wash her underwear for another six month since hes so willing.

[quote author=jennykadry link=topic=657495.msg8257144#msg8257144 date=1304509467][/quote]

jennykadry:

It is a joke uju

@SA

You have a point there but what I am trying to say is this :let them try it out at home first the hard way. I want him to sit his wife down and tell her she's free to make a choice here. A choice to walk out or stay. Enough of pampering her silly because it is not helping. I am an advocate for pampering but not when the woman's madness goes away when he buys her something but comes back when he wants to make love to her.

If she doesn't want him let her stop taking things for him. This dude has gone out of his way to make her happy and is in a serious financial debt right now because of this and that was why I said he needs to channel his energy elsewhere, anywhere as long as it is away from spending money because it hasn't helped him at all.

@Jenny, please allow me to ask this. Is it a women's problem that her husband who is much older than her doesn't have problem solving skills? That in his old mind he thought the only way to solve his family problems is to shower wife with gifts etc. cos that's what she's good for anyway. Ask yourself who is taking who for a ride here? He knows that this is his added advantage as an older man and unfortunately he cant keep up with it.

@OP, buddy sorry but at your age you should know that there's faaaar better ways to solve marital problems, right?

He obviously doesn't take this women any serious thinking that pampering her is all it takes to fix her, than to give her the benefit of a rational conversation. I say he must be starved sexually to death that way he'll learn to see women for the beings that they are than toys.

Seriously guys I decided to hold back when I saw his topic, this guy really irks me up and maybe more so because he is OLD, to think that he labelled his wife at 35 as somebody who could be going through a midlife crisis, I mean what nonsense. The title of the topic tells you exactly how this guy is wired, and if you ask me this is the kind of man who should never go out with people his age, women his age will eat him alive and spew him out.

I reckon he is safe with his wife and should continue to play the father figure and pampering game, it suites him just fine.

^^^I think professional help is also necessary in this situation. People tend to open up better when a third and neutral party is involved.

marychi18:

There is no such situation at d moment. d guy is really treating her like a queenie maybe coz he wants babies.
but anyways, i think she's gon end up on d winning side tho.
coz since d guy is aging already, he ll want to protect her and d forthcoming kids.

You may be right about guy wanting children. I am sorry but there is no way I am going to try and look at this situation with less suspicion, so am going to ask you to define what you mean by guy treating her like a queen

See this is where the problem starts, shouldnt they be treating each other like equals, friends and companions, than this trying too hard because I cant believe my luck situation

Speaking of children, WTF has this guy been doing all this time not having children??

bhusayor:

na wa o furk addict, what is it about ladies living with the fact that men cheat, so we all should embrace it because of the gene/hormone crap? SMH, who likes to be cheated on?not necessarily cheatin in relationships, its saddens my heart when i read on this forum that cheating should be condoned cos its not avoidable, we ALL (men and women)are faced with temptations, but i believe the respect and love we have for our patners should be strong enough to overcome them,

May God help us all!

What you say is very true, but unfortunately women have lacked the back bone to say NOOOO!  to a cheating partner. Its gotten to a point where I cant blame men anymore. Women are to be blamed because we allowed it. I know for a fact that if the girl was the one who had cheated, guy would not have any second thoughts about giving her the boot. Men are very proud and assertive beings, which are the qualities that us women lack immensely.

All I am saying is that if she decides to carry on with the wedding/marriage I wont judge her.

@marychi18 C'mon my point is a dead give away. What I am saying is, this relationship is the makes of parent child relationship.

Watch that space, when the age issue starts becoming apparent guy is going to break a bank trying to hang on to everything that this marriage is made of.

I have no doubt that this is the situation already. Am I wrong?

agabaI23:

She goes on girls night out and prolly frequently! ;DI asked the OP a question earlier as to how he performs in bed and he could not answer. My feeling was the same. May be the lady does not get satisfied and the man delivers his goods before the rod gets it. her measures are still very drastic anyway if that is the case.The earlier he realises that marriage has over 90% carnal content and issue would be dealt with carnally the better for him.

The embolded is very true. She can at least face her demons and speak her truth than to act like a child. If what we are suspecting is true then we must admit its going to be very hard for her to open up about it. However, she owe's it to her husband and the honor that her marriage diserves to be honest with him and at least give him insight on what exactly is he dealing with. Its the only way he'll know how to deal with the situation.

@OP, all the best.

@OP, ofcourse your friend should be happy getting married to the man. I mean for f^*k! sake he is 45 and should know how to best take care of young people  . I have no doubt your friend is well and I mean weeeeell taken care of.

@OP, someone said follow your heart and do what you think is right for you. There is no guarantee that he may or may not do it again. Who bloody cares if he is the one you love There is no right or wrong for your ultimate decision.

Sometimes the heart knows things that the head will never understand and I bet he feels the same way. Fact is you guys need to talk about it and make each other understand what's to happen in case the situation repeats itself especially in marriage.

I am personaly against the idea of a cheating spouse, but then again we cant control everything, all the best.

stillwater:

He's 49, she's 35. 14 years difference. Married for 10yrs, so he married at 39 when she was 25. He's already knocking on 50's door and the wife is at the best age for women to enjoy their sex life. He's laid his bed, let him lie on it. The fact that a man can still father a child at old age, doesn't mean he can do the do properly. In his next life, he would think twice before caging a sweet sixteen .He would choose a woman that will age with him. I bet he was looking down on all those above 30 'old cargo' as they call them. You can't eat your cake and have it.

Anyway, the man's certainly not appealing to the wife. No amount of washing plates would excite her. And there are many things that could have caused her to lose interest. I'm not in the position to speculate. Go and ask your wife.

^^^True talk, he needs to stop washing dishes as it wont make him any sexier. Dude needs to up his game on the s3x appeal department. @OP, get an image consultant LOL! I know a bit drastic but hey desperate times calls for desperate measures. And if this marriage bites the dust please marry a 40something year old next time or within a decent age group.

The things we do to please society have got a way of getting back at us. Yes the whole thing worked for as long as it did when you were 39 and she was young and naive, but you never applied any foresight to what could happen when you are old and need her companion most and s3x is no longer a priority to you as an aging man. This societal short sightedness is appalling.

Trust me all the money that she is spending that's just her compensating for what she is not getting in the bedroom, its called retail therapy. Just to survive you can at least Look at it this way, You each get something out of this. You got a young hot wife and admired by your friends and she's got a man who takes care of her shopping to keep looking young and does the house chores and is admired by most women. Wow!!! this deal on societal terms works in the end.

@OP, PLEASE NOTE

THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LUST AND PERFORMANCE.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF LUST IF YOU CANT DELIVER.

I AM MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE TEND TO BATTLE ON DELIVERY, EERRRMMMM!!! WE ARE TALKING 40+.

OH! BTW, ROTFLMAO AT TOPIC TITTLE, AND THINKING TO MYSELF "LOOK WHO'S TALKING"

Sagamite:

Is it because you don't want to compete with nurses?
So which professionals are in vogue in you domi?

Engineers of all sorts are still rocking, these guys aint going nowhere, they hold the number one spot. Then economists, business development specialists, IT however, slowly phasing out just too many its like a whole generation of them. 

Oh no! I shouldn't forget this, Mr DJ, I dont know if its a profession or not, but perhaps a career. I'd fall for Mr DJ too this guy's got the funkiest job. Actually let's put Mr DJ at the top of the list.

Then there's the new generation of consultants. These are guys who leave corporate and turn their craft into little consulting firms, with nothing but the wits and experience gained from being part of the working class. I think its a cute and sexy hustle.

We have the guy that's called BEE. This guy has replaced the good old doctor. He gets big government tenders, buys a Porsche and hosts a million$ party before he can start the project  , he has an ungraceful bravado. The true definition of "money cant buy you class"   


I have no doubt that doc's will make a great come back if and only if they start specializing in cosmetic surgery. 

We are sooo swamped with GP's and O&G's its nauseating and quite frankly I've yet to meet anyone who would tell me they had a great day at work listening to people one by one talk about their aching bodies, and somehow you were the person who had to "GUESS" what could be the problem and remedy. 

As for Lady, she's patiently waiting for an actuary scientist, otherwise settle for a architect

@OP, if its love you feel for this girl I say go for it. Talk to your friend and ask for his understanding. As far as I am concerned he is not the master of your heart. I think everybody should be free to be with whoever the hell they wish to be with. Nobody owns anybody.

A good friend will wish your relationship the best. What are friends for if they are not there to wish us the best and all the happiness this life has to offer.

Good Luck!!

@Topic, she must suggest and both of you must decide.

Talk or dump him/her

@OP, you have a very very insecure husband, kapish. That's just about the only problem you have in your life right now. One thing is certain you can never never ever solve this problem for him, but unfortunately I am not even sure how are you going to solve the problem you have that I've just mentioned in my first line for your own sake, very unfortunate.

There's three kids involved right now, this is going to be a mountain to get over. I wish you the best of luck.

Your husband simply needs professional help to work on his self esteem and insecurities. Until he forgets issues of culture and religion he is still going to f^*k up a lot of things trying to hold on to beliefs that are not building him in any way and already breaking his first marriage.

There is nothing wrong in you seeking a job, and in fact I'll take your fathers side on this one by all means. Your father sounds more of a man than your husband will ever be and with 3 kids I'd move in with my father. Your husband is baaad news, period. He needs to grow up. I hope he buys himself a bit of civilization with his first pay cheque from the new job.

Anything cheap will be good for him cos I have no doubt he needs some change to buy himself some balls too, nonsense mxceeewww!! 

Just because you can get a job and earn a salary it ddoesn'tmake you all the man. Everybody can do it nowadays, nothing special. But your character and grace is everything (the s#!t money cant buy and control, and no one can ever take away from you) . Please tell him I said that, cosigned by your father.

If you were my sister you would have looong left this sorry arse bugger or you and I would not be on speaking terms, cos I cant stand people who are capable of putting themselves through such mediocre.

Sorry I don'tmean to be harsh, just true talk. I wasn't going to write so much since a lot has been said by NLders but as I was writing I found this pretty annoying.

@Topic, I should quit the NL Romance section.

MM, may you fly the friendly skies.

rokiatu:

So what advice do you need?


You have no problem here, you are just creating problems for yourself.


You like him, he like you and he make you feel happy. To add to that, he's funny.

But he's not physically built and he's shy, WTF


First of all, lets clear the "physically built" part. Not everyone was born with the perfect body.

Infact most guys have to built their bod. Including all those celebrities that we drool over. Nobody was born with the perfect six pack.


About the shyness part, Nobody was born shy.

people are just quiet on a certain thing, or either uncomfortable in a certain environment. Get to know this young man more, your discovery will shock you.
Take me for instance, some people think I am a shy girl. And other people think I am outgoing and bubble. But I am neither both. My action differ with different people.

Infact I like reserved guys, who are laid by. Listen to other people, and talk when needed. Not those overly cocky guys that always need to be the centre of attention, or the cool guy on the block.

@OP, Rokiatu has said it all