@PO I just scanned through the write up just to get the gist, learn to make peace with the things that you have and those that you dont, and perhaps those that you will never have. A soon as you can master this art the easier your life will be. You have your own man concerntrate on him. Its been TWENTY YEARS TWENTY YEARS abeg close that chapter and live for today.

The way I see it, TWENTY YEARS from now on you'll be wailing about the time you wasted on things you cannot have instead of loving your husband and then use an excuse that you had a psychological condition.

C'mon how about you get realistic

MzD@rkSkin:

His pulling away can mean several things:

1) moved on/ found another coworker to "spend time with" (God forbid)
2) stressed out with the relocation/life and trying to adjust
3) he is upset with you
4) he needs some time to himself (trying to figure out things/second guessing)

@PO, Question is do you have time to sit and ponder over the above questions or are you going to ask him for answers? straight up.

OH! BTW you are neeever going to get the answer to question one, JUST SAYING!!!

Riches most definately, all the money for a girl to see the world. What's nice about this is that  you can bring your favourite peole along anytime. Ofcourse an many other things that money can buy!!!

Why not? at least its not from some sugar daddy!!!

ebila:

Buh not all of em know how to use it (i bet some don't even know they have it)!

^

@ebila, this is what pains us. Its like opening a box of chocolate only to find rock in it

queensmith:


And yes I understand what you mean abt men that are possessive, i believe my friends bf is the possesive type, he doesnt even like her talking to her friends on the phone! she doesnt pick up her phone when shes with him and if she does she whispers! I believe my ex was slightly possessive too but im not good with being controlled- relationship down the drain lol.

Thanks for that clarification, lets not forget that time really flies when people are having a good time and for this reason I'll forgive a friend who dumped me in the process. Its easy for me cos I also have my things to take care of e.g. work, study, cousins (they my friends too and we wnat our children to grow together as friends and family), me alone time and the things I've realy procrastinated. I always find that I make quick progress when I dont interact as frequent.

I think the number one mistake with women generally is that we tend to dump our friends for our bf/hubby's friends. Now that's dangerous, because when that relationship ends even those friendships end (hope this makes sense). Even worse is when you have a bf turned husbad who has a nerve to tell you that now that you are married you have to limit your interaction with friends, no it gets better some women do this voluntarily. This is something that should happen organically. Truth is no existance could ever happen void of attachments, friendships that is.

Personally I guess I've made peace with the fact that people will come and go, some will stay and some will want you to come with them, but "where to?" is the question? All the same, this is growth and there shouldnt be any resentments even if it stings sometimes.

@Topic honestly, why must wome worry about what men think of our celibacy? what's the price in this. I am sorry but am tired of seeking men's affirmation, validation in things that involve my personal space, life and body. Celibate or not men deal with it, abeg.

I dont have a problem with a friend that chooses to hang with her man all the time, she's just stating her priorities. The problem I have is when she calls me to talk about her man issues when I have my own, you know those girls who only talks about themselves and everytime you try and say something, before you could even finish your sentence she's right in there "me too, me too" hell I cant stand those friends, BTW I've got them. Its a NO! NO! This is when a friendship becomes abusive.

Call me to share a joke or two, invite each other for drinks and eatery once in a while, and please make sure its worth it by showing each other how much you've grown in your talk, how your world views are changing, again with a dose of good laughter, please. I do stay away from my friends because sometimes, i really really dont want to see them, and no love should be lost in that.

Understand this, the strength of our friendship as I see it, is not relative the number of calls and gossip that we can share in a day. Its about those moments when we hook up after a looooong time and we have a heart felt laughter, and that sigh of relieve when we get home and start talking to our men about all the silly, funny and witty things that we shared and knowing that with everything said, somehow we became better persons.

Some friends can drain you for sure. They'll suck you dry.

When I see my friends I want to be able to say wow you have grown so much.

SA Goddess:

There is definitely more to it than meets the cyber eye, unreal!

Then you must go check out @topic "why are men quick to labe women gold diggers" emotions running high in there.

I had a quite one, but am not complaining. Yes I stuffed my face throughout the season but all the same it was good. Sky diving ma babe a must do!

He is probably a really really reallly nice guy who just cant get it on in bed.

A break means there is no relationship in the interim right. So yes you are free to find a squeeze on the side to fill the gap if needs be. Depending on whether you are still in love with the former then you may be a bit more sensitive and communicate it to him/her. But still you are under no form of pressure to update people on your relationship status when they are not in your life.

SA Goddess:

Right back at you          kwakwakwakwsawkakwak, silly, I should have known you would be the first one  to jump!

uuuuuuuuuu! look who's here. No WW3 here just girls talking about sex. I routinely pass by everyday just to check the daily tutorial. Its funny what you can learn.

Was it a good holiday, missy?

Insecure I say.

^^^ nice one. Anyway @poster, what kind of criteria is this in deciding whether you should marry her or not?? I mean really.

Nothing you can do. Give them the respect they desrve as adults and parents to your partner and just be yourself. Do you think there's a reason why they are behaving this way that maybe you are nto telling us?

Things that make you go hhhmmmmm!!!!!!

I realy really dont know.

Atreides:

Matter of fact,i don't know how i kept it up either! Don't worry;i have seen the light. I shall engageth him in discussion no more.

Good for you girl

tensor777:

This was my reply to you South African Lady so your one-liner does not quite cut it

Ok fine @tensor777 what do you want?

Lord_Reed:

@tensor777
You neither respond to issues raised intelligently or coherently and you are too uncouth for me to discuss with so this is the last time I'll respond to you until you are ready to discuss maturely.

@Atreides and @Lord_Reed guys I dont know how you kept this up!!!

MOBO444:

^^^ Dont talk trash, go and tell your South Africa ladies that,ok.

^^^ ENYA OMG where are you guys from. In fact for me the whole album "day without rain" is like one good song . Am smiling today.

@Poster, And we still wonder why they like them young

@ Poster, from where I am sitting I see you skating your way to the alter out of peer pressure.

tensor777:

And what exactly has what Cork replied got to do with your flippant response to what Big Man wrote These words sound like the heartfelt advice of a player and is actually the reality in Lagos. Or maybe  as you're  a foreigner, that's why you don't know what you are talking about.
Just don't lead youngsters here astray okay.

Shame I see confusion and anger is creeping in. Its @Atreides, you and this Big Man of yours shall see to finish. eeerrrr! about Cock's reply men with little or no money will be quick to label girls gold diggers, simple. They are very very angry too and this is where it gets complicated. Watch that space.

WOW!! you've took me back to time, and now am singing Madonna Beautiful Stranger. Thanks you've just made my day. This took me back to all the friends i've lost, as life took us different places.

Then came Natasha Beddingfield with "I love u, I love u, I love u"

@Cosmass OMG! OMG! Madonna The power of Goodbye. Now I am going to be singing that song in m y head all day.


OMG

Nice wedding, as they say a picture says a thousand words, and that stretch Limo baaaad idea.

I cant blame people who have harsh words for your friend, yet in th esame token I feel reeeeaaly sorry for her and her husband. Imagine the thought of spending the rest of your life with someone you really really dont love. Tough sometimes when you paly it by societal rules. She probably did this under pressure of friends, family and the man.

For what its worth I hope she finds true happiness in or out of her marriage she needs to make up her mind about what truely works for her.

What could be so wrong about the husband? could he be like a hundred years old? See now this is the only reason why a woman should not be happy in a new marriage

tensor777:

How is she right?

@tensor777 I would've liked to respond but I realize @Mr Cock has already taken care of it.

^^^I really dont think so. No man will cheat on a woman when he loves her and I mean really loves her. Should he cheat then we know its a case of "I love you but". If you know what I mean

Even if you meet a person on cyber space, bottom line you still need to make time to get to know them in person, so in the end, it doesnt really matter where you meet a person.

The only thing I dont like about cyber people is that, there's never a gurantee that what you see is what you get. And as for some of us we arent always good at keeping an open mind about the first meeting, hhhmmmmmm anticipation is a mother f^cker then you end up like this



No I dont want to be this girl.