Its been ten years and now she complains mcxxxeewww!!!!

@OP, I really dont know what to say to you. Nowhere do I hear you saying I loved him once, or I married him because I loved him, I mean not anything close to that.

Phweee!!! what shall we say. Perhaps if you had tried love before everything else you wouldnt end up with so much regret. Nobody ever regrets anything after they've been with the one they love. We call them heart breakers in the end, but hey  even nursing that broken heart can be sweet.

Sounds to me you just grabbed the first one that proposed marriage. Marriage was your ultimate price now there you have it. You either make the most of it or you get out of it, period.

Should you leave him, please try the love thing first and marriage later if you still find it necessary.

See this marriage thing, now this women must spend a million hours trying to figure out why "HUSBAND" the one who took an oath in front of witnesses, why the h3ll he went out of his way to start frolocking another womans breasts

I dont get it, this where marriage beats me, period

See why marriage doesnt add up!

It snot what we've been told it is and now am that girl who is in search of the lie and some women are living it already.

Holly crap, but why do people even bother getting married? Why insist on this? I have no doubt I must have came from a bad marriage in my previous life or been a child from parents who had it baaad.

Marriage doesnt add up. Why cant people stay lovers for as long as they can love each other?

I dont kow how many times do I have to say this, people will love you because its what they want to do, care for you because its what they want to do. Simple!!!

Ofcourse there's jaded souls out there, just keep away from such people they have no business being in relationships let alone marriage. These are the type of people who will mistreat others convincing themselves that they are playing it safe. I mean why play in the first place when love is as serious as a heart attack.

Forget marriage people. I mean if you are going to marry a guy who offers a prenup because he doesnt want you to cash in on him in the end, really now, right from the onset this thing is stained. Again what does he see you for? What does he see his marriage for? right there this guy has branded you a gold digger. I'd be resentful.

I think we need a new love order, marriage is not the one period.

Not where I come from, doctors are out of fashion and if you are still a GP you are considered one of the people with thee most boring job on earth.

Doctors are having it hard nowadays, competition is stiff.

Oh! not to mention how tech challenged they are

eeehhh! scratching head, @OP question is when did you start seeing al these things? is it before or after you got married?

Now, you saying that she putting on the staff reminds you of the girls on Allen at night, sorry my brother but you've just started a war, that was unkind (clearing throat) coming from a husband.

Generally I find no excuse for chewing gum, its tackey she must leave it for some day dreaming 16 year old.

Something tells me that there's more to the story than you are letting us in on. I have no doubt that she's been chewing gum since the age of gum and you had no problem with it, and now out of the thick blue it irritates you. Ask yourself why?

Girls stay away from gum its not the one period. For breath freshener, well if that's your excuse use mint sweets, tiny one, please.

Yes I have once upon a time. I dont know but I guess I wasnt in love with my then boyfriend, and contemplating to move on. I didnt know how to tell him.

I told him about it and he didnt care at all. All he knew was that he wanted to be with me, I felt ashamed of myself.

The relationship lasted two more years after all that, but I knew deep inside that he was not the one.

The relationship ended when he asked me to marry him, then I knew it was time to end things since it was getting all serious.

I also felt he wanted us to get married just out of protocol, since we've been together for a while and wethered the storms therefore why not.

It just didnt feel right.

I also know of friends who have cheated on their boyfriends and the guys were willing to forgive that, as they saw it as part of learning and growing up.

MRBrownJ:

@SA lady
Not everyone is meant to grow "that way", some grow while married. Its a different growth but it doesn't automatically doom this union.
Many out there have been taking care of their siblings ALONE Day in and day out since a very young age (while parents are at work), thats family value for you right there.
Wouldn't such person make a great family orientated wife? Do you believe that she HAS to grow as an individual and know herself to make this marriage work?

It is not for everybody but some CAN be great wives/mothers at a young age. They can't miss what they never had!

A well respected NLer, Jennykadry, was married well before she was 23 and is blissfully/happily married 10 yrs down the line.

Mrbrown, I swear to you that most marriages that end up in such doom could have been saved. If only people allowed themselves time to know and understand what life is asking of them, which is know yourself.

I have no doubt @jenny is blissfully married, yet in the same token I have no doubt that if you were to sit her down and ask her about the challenges she's had to overcome, my she'll blow your mind off, no doubt.

I see this in my relationships, some challenges do tell me how difficult it must be to be married and let alone stay married. Before I am Mrs so and so, I am human and then an individual and then a woman. Now try to figure all that out at 18.

SA Goddess:

I am not so bad girl. . . .besides, my son translates for me

Anyway, back at topic. . . . . .Personally at 23 I had no business being anybody's wife, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted and boy am I glad I was given the time to discover ME, with age comes wisdom . . . .what I see happening is most of those marriages that happened when the partners were in their early 20s have now dissolved or are unhappy because suddenly people realise just how little they "lived" before they rushed into marriage!

Honestly, if there is anything I dont wish to be right now is to be 18 years. I look at them and I cant help but give a sigh of sadness, especially when they start to open their mouth to speak. It was at 22 when I knew why I had to end my then relationship. Something in me said it was time to grow, time to find who lady is and what she's made of and stands for, and maaaan am I loving this this woman today who is faaaar different for that naive 18-23 year old I use to be. The journey I wouldnt trade it for anything, I still havent found any man more fulfilling than the journey itself.

It may have not been the best thing ever in retrospect,as today I am that girl who doenst hesiate to dump a guy because he said something wrong or stupid. seriously I do such things and I end up alone. No stress though just my convictions which I picked up as I grow.

moonraker:

@ SA LADY

to find out hw to u got to knw all that u wrote to form a puzzle?

I still dont know if I understand what you are tryoignt o get at, however I like the fact that somehow you want my age because you somehow believe that age will tell you how people see life, I like that. So for the purpose of this exercise lets say I am 27 of age.

Now fire on untagle this for me.

SA Goddess:

^^^ was only pulling your leg, how can I not know

well I thought since via Lesotho, you know

MRbrownJAY:

@SA LADY
Are you claiming that a person marrying at 18, will never make a good parent? Look around you, how old were most of our parents when they got married? Oh and does the MAN marrying her counts for nothing in family?
Maturity doesn't come with age but
life experiences and they don't always come AFTER teenage years.

Nooooo, you were doing just fine what happened? I am not saying they will not make good parents in future. What I am saying is that they are yet to grow in their own right. Seriously what could an 18 year old have possibly learned about life and when exactly? This is somebody who just got fresh straight out of high school under their parents care and you want him/her to be a wife/husband/mother/father? asseblief.

You know I spend some time on NL right, and so do you therefore you and I will agree that most peolpe come in here and complain about marriage gone bad because the angel they married at 18 has now changed.

Guess what? she was never an angel, probably a naive girl brought up well, but as nature would have it, she just metamophosized and that's it.

Now about our parents I am sorry but I believe that generations are different and geography has its contributions too, however we cannot run away from evolution its upon us everyday.

My point, leave the 18 year old to grow and discover life and their inner self.

Maybe the 18 year old you know is doing fine in her marriage same as the married 23 year old I know, but hey for most of the time they have a way of reminding me that my life isnt that bad at all. I really really wouldnt trade thier issues for mine, no thank you.

SA Goddess:

Is that Zulu?

haha! Afrikaans, for please.

MRbrownJAY:


So contradictory!!!!
If they look for a rich man to take care of them, we say they are golddiggers and when they want to take care of they own selves, we say they wanna play the field. So which one is it? Should they simply say yes (like donkeys) to just about anybody or anything a man wants from them?!

aahhhh! @MRbrown, you are an emoticon with a light bulb above his head.

Guys do you understand that if you are going to marry anyone at the age of 23 this person has only lived 4 years of her entire life to come.

Let me break it down 23-19=4 (19 represents the teen years) Now tell me what could a 23 year old who has lived for 4 year possibly know about herself, let alone raising a family.

Guys please let us start depending more on our senses for reason. asseblief.

@OP, you were in a 6 year relationship in which was mased on a lie. Well sh!t happens. Now you ended the relationship and you are searching, no crime in that.

My advice go with the one you love. There is no point wondering if it will last or not there was never a formular to predict these things.

If you must know ask the guy/girl who got married to the love of his/her life, in the end they probably has a different story to tell.

Moral of the story, no one will make you happy only yourself will and love with your mind and protect your heart with all you can for its your source of life.

I cant remeber where I got that last line from but somehow i believe it.

190:


[size=18pt]GBAM!! [/size]

endorsed

moonraker:

@ SA LADY

Errrh are u married??

Errrrh, why do you ask??

@OP nooooooo!! you are asking a wrong question. The question is why do guys wake up at 47 and then want to go out clubbing with a 17-19 year old, and then want to marry a 27 year old? And then call the 27 year old a gold digger hhmmmm!

Now is there any guy who can solve this puzzle for me?

MzDarkSkin:

rephrase this in English and we can chat


@ SA huh?

Yeah! it just happened to me. I was telling guy about something interesting I wanted to do, and all of a sudden before I could even finish my line there he was, stealing my thunder telling me about something even more interesting and dangerous he wants to do.

I gave him one of those pearsing looks (if looks could kill) It was annoying because I knew he was saying it for the sake of just having something to say along those lines, just so I can see him as the adventurous type. Again I knew its something he would never do, he is not much of an out there person. So I went for my adventure and brought the pics and he was still yapping about his adventure.

I just knew I had to dump his imaginary backside, this ish is a turn off really.

Moral of the story, dont open your mouth for the sake of it, trying to impress. Just be yourself and work with what you already know about yourself and can do.

Onchedu:

Join in? No no no no NO!
If I want a three.some so badly I'll go find two chics that long for a schlong more than they do for clams. That way, I'm the prize & not a contender.

C'mon, if it can help to spice things up in your bedroom why not 

I mean clearly wifey here is sending a strong message i.e. that she is tired of routine sex. she is obviously not tired of you as a hubby otherwise she could be doing it with the boys, dont you think?

If the wife want to do it with the girls it means you not so bad at all, and this is by no means insinuating competition or her need to leave you, she just wants fun that's it.

yeah! this I say with a straight face.

You simply let the girls have fun, and if allowed to join hey that's a bonus I guess

@OP C'mon, there is nothing wrong in anyone not loving you the way you want them to. I dont know what it is about men but either they are confused or they just trying to get us confused. I thought the makes of a good and smart girl is that of the one who doesnt have s3x with you until she is sure she is in love with you? clearly you seem upset over this straight foward matter.

The thing is she's just not that into you.

I am not sure what you are complain is about, really. Can you just move on, asseblief.

Everytime you tell him about something interesting you want to do, he immediately tell you about something even more interesting according to him that he wants to do, and BTW never gets to do. Dump his backside.

MzGreat:

opari means finish

^^^ thanks the great one.

190::

SA Lady got confused

^^^Its official.

But then why are we handing people over like they some commodities? Please. If guy doesnt know what he's doing then he must just leave her alone.

Elvismaxwe:

hw can i get across wit ant lady in NL to hook up wit and settle down wit nw dat i ve a good job nw. my fone is 08054922099

@OP just out of curiousity, Exactly just how much is heavy salary?

So if he calls me mom, I guess i should be calling him dad  

ferdiii:

Opari

But how am I suppose to answer you if you keep on saying things I do not understand? C'mon work with me here.