1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.

7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.

8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.

7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.

8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

here is a pic of one, you could ask your girl friend for its usefulness.

1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.

7. A topologist is a someone who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.

8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

10. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

expired?? i would not argue with that. but this expired stuff you retire you

tessy, abeg take am easy. if na for long thing, i no mind giving you a personalized example

A-40:

4-0 i must confess i didnt see that one coming

My Questions for Arsene

Why bring Adebayor when we where 3 goals down?

What is Hoyte still doing at Arsenal?

Why didnt Wenger go to his good ol 4-5-1 formation it might be defensive but it gets the job done

Clichy and Sagna must be back before the Milan game or i might not bother watching I don't want to see Gilberto at the Emirates either

Gilberto saved many blushes at the Emirates last season, Remember when it was difficult to muster a win there last season?? he was the man to come up with the decisive goals in matches deemed lost. No matter how good a player is, you lose form when your ass is gummed to the subs bench. Gilberto is not that bad, i still see him more useful in the Milan game than Flamini. At least if it comes to barebones from Gattuso he would give it to him real Raw. Lehman, Ronaldinho and Carrick are examples of players who the bench have made unfit and out of form recently.
Arsenal would beat Milan tomorrow. I can bet my 2 cents on that, just like United ( my united) would overcome the Lyon hurdle.

;d ;d ;d

i fear you ooooooooooooooo
you don taste am? how you know say they are sweet?

Thanks Clemcy, please share your own examples too.
tessy you have not responded to my question o

is anything wrong with the example?

tessybaby:

stop that seunspice

What exactly do i stop maam? the post or the example?

now here is an example of containerssssssssssssssssssssss

There was this guy walking down the road when he noticed a night club ahead. He went in, went up to the bar and asked for a drink. The bar owner, who was tending bar, said, "I've never seen you in her before." The guy says, "Yes, I'm not from around here. I'm just passing through on my way to find a job." The owner asks, "What do you do?" The guy says, "I write music and play the piano." The owner, looking excited says, "REALLY! I have an ad in the paper looking for someone to play my piano. Please sit down at the keyboard and play for me if you're interested."

The guy does and as he plays the piano the owner is in awe of his talent and musical abilities. The owner says, "You play the piano more beautifully than anyone I have ever heard! What is the name of that song?" The guy says, "I wrote that song and the name is Two Lesbians Fucking Their Brains Out."

The owner gasps and is taken back. He says, "My gosh, that's a terrible name for such a beautiful song. Do you know any others?" The guy smiles and plays again.

Once more the owner is astounded by this guy's talent and musical abilities. He's almost afraid to ask but he does ask what the name of the song he just played.

The guy answers, "I bleeped Her All Night Until She Couldn't Take Anymore." The owner again was shocked. The owner says, "Ok, you play beautifully and the songs you have written are incrediable. I will hirer you, but you have to promise not to tell the name of your songs to the patrons." The guy agrees.

That night the guy was playing the piano and the crowd was just as amazed as the owner was with this man's musical abilities. After playing two songs the crowd stood up and applauded.

The guy was really pleased and stood up to take a bow. When he stood up and faced the audience, it was apparent that his zipper was open and his dick and balls were hanging out. One of the patrons close to the piano says, "Sir, do you know your dick and balls are hanging out?" The guy smiles and says, "KNOW IT, I WROTE IT!"

i dont wanna touch them , i wanna drain them containers

i like Arsenal because it is a team that i bet on. They lose when i bet on them losing , i am sure they would make an exception against Milan. I desperately want to see those Old men out of the UCL.

gbosarious gbosaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tampax

here the Ancients from the orient. i bow o!!!

Lolaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Gbosa for you too o

A woman opened the door of a building and was about to step outside when she heard a voice saying,
"Don't take that next step or you'll regret it."
She paused and a brick came crashing to the pavement right where she would have been standing. She looked around and there was no one nearby.
The next day this woman was about to step into the street when she heard this same voice say,
"Don't take that next step or you'll regret it."
As she paused a truck came racing by and smashed into a nearby vehicle. She knew if she hadn't listened to that voice she would have been hurt badly, or maybe even killed.
She looked behind her and there was no one nearby.
"All right," she said, "Who are you ?"
"I'm your guardian angel," the voice replied.
"Oh, if that's the case," the woman said, "Where were you on my wedding day?"


THE BOSS,
A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in
sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the
employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello?"
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
"Is your Mummy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss
asked,
"Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss
asked,
"May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Mummy and Daddy and the Fireman,"
came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter
through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked,
"What is that noise?"
"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered,
"The search team just landed the hello-copper. "
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked,
"What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:
"ME"

ituen:

your head don dey big na

doesn't she need it, hers is not a case of monkey no fine, she fine no be small. I think she fine pass your wife sef, but i no sure o as i never see your wife before.

morenike09:

oseun, omo mi kekere, nkan ti mo dasile da o. . . nito rie nan fi npemi lomo ayo

Grandma ayo. se wa ko ayo wa ba mi ni inu yara mi. emi na a fi ayo pade e. o ti maa poju

ibkaye:

@seun
huh? what u mean?

I am in awe of your profile thats what i mean. you figure? you could IM me on messenger.

morenike09:

eh en? ki lo sa si e lofun?

Nkan to da sile lo sa si mi lofun. Mo gbedi fun e oooooooo

@ ibkaye,
your profile is what i have been looking at for a while now. is there anything i should say that i have not said

na wa o

Arsenal would sure win on Wednesday, so you gunners needn't worry about that. The Sansiro is where the story changes rapidly, and i wonder how AC gets this draw of playing the reverse leg at home all the time. Getting them out of the UCL would be good riddance to bad rubbish. However, i only want them out cause i cant stand them whipping hapless teams on their way to another final.
Those old men should do the game some good. let them retire and lets see some new faces at Milan boooooooo

long thing? These ladies na wa o

Honestly, i dont see that defeat as an end to Arsenal's season (i strongly wish it was but it is not), from that the Arsenal team i know, it seems it is the bigger game against Milan that clouded their minds and id Diaby's comments on thursday is anything to go by, they felt satuday's match would be a walk in the park.
Except something terrible happens i still see the Arsenal team coming out as victors after 180 minutes of football against AC milan. Milan is having a nightmarish season and if Arsenal makes good use of their EPL form, they should have little problems. I want them to go beyond milan but not win the UCL nor the League, Afterall my one and only United is also alive and kicking in the 2 competitions.

i wonder where those gunner fans are. Last week when we lost to Man City i was receiving calls after calls full of taunts and threats from those guys promising fire and brimestone. Now that they have been roundly and soundly defeated i cant even get to see/call any of them. thier phones are off.
I hope we go past Lyon and move to the final of the UCL, overtaking Arsenal at the summit of the league table is a priority that must be achieved. This win will also mean nothing if we do not win the FA cup , so another treble hunt begins. Dont bet too much on it happening though. United forever

When Jane reached the checkout counter, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear;

"Price check on Tampax, supersize please."

As if that was not bad enough, somebody at the rear of the store misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "thumbtacks."

In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom;

"Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

that is the valentine spirit. keep that up

Lolabbey:

hmmmm

What do you mean by Hmmmm? agree or disagree?