i just laugh when i read people saying that David Beckham is over rated. With his past performances for United and Real Madrid last season. You guys need to be more objective in your comments. What Beckham has achieved has not been achieved by any other English player, which is prove your worth outside England. Steve Mc'manaman did at real madrid but his influence and performance was not as stellar as Beckham's, Owen tried it and ended up injury prone. Beckham may not be worth his worth in Gold now. he was once the golden boy of English football, he delievered whn the chips were down, and you know what , when he failed to deliver the other 10 lions on the field were mere cubs.
i don't like David Beckham, he would not make my bench if i were a coach, but by English standards he is the best they have had for a while.

Thanks Clemcy, e be like say me and you go form tag team o.
I love kuvuki land with a passion

serious shit

i love kuvuki land.

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy.

"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands."

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused.
"Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes there is. I need you to give him a message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

I think the moderator is doing a hell of a job.

coded guy:



i Promise u, IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN

Amen to that brother!!!!

@ MC omo

Why don't you wait till we squander the lead before you start spitting your guts through your Arse. We are expressing our confidence in our team and if you want it spelt out again , the trophy is United's to keep or lose. And if you want to go by records. United is the most consistent team of the big four going into the home stretch of the EPL. United's form in the last 10 games of the league has by far been the biggest yardstick in deciding who the eventual winner would be apart from Jose's first season at Chelsea.
let your team continue with this 'tremendous' form. One could have driven a trailer through your defense on Sunday. Pathetic from Gallas and Toure, two of the best center backs in the EPL. the problem is not in your players or the coach. Its in the 'curse'. Changing from Highbury to The Emirates has only made it worse. But for all i care, . you stand the better chance in the UCL, if you don't blow it as you always do. better luck in subsequent seasons.

i fucking love the gaynners. they are the most predictable team in the EPL. How do you explain a team dropping points in 5 consecutive league game. Going from top to third in a matter of days. i love them for their predictability considering this is not the first time its happening. I just hope my darling United continue with its unpredictability. Winning ugly, winning beauty, snatching points home and away till we seal the league defense at the bridge. (now that won't be easy to achieve) but i believe its possible.
One UNITED!!!

Arsenal is down but not out. i would have preferred them down and out. The title destination is not certain yet, so United needs to keep winning. we still have to play Blackburn, Chelsea and Arsenal. Those are bogey teams irrespective of our optimism. And with the way the table stands as at now, i would rather have arsenal trailing us in 2nd than a resurgent Chelsea. that is a team with a point to prove. i still believe the title would go down to the wire and like someone said. it is United's title to throw away. Our fate lies in the hands of the lads.

somze:

Another one in the bag for .
Man Utd. Once again Benneth should be thanked.

Better ManU than Arses I would say.

Nice goal by Nani.

can you expansiate on that statement? why should Bennet be thanked?

Ronaldo's first against Liverpool sums up this match.

Now i can safely rest, assured of a victory and hope the next match ends in a draw. Up United

He just answered you by making 2 substitutions , time to throw caution to the wind?

SHit happens

Its only half time and despite the score as at now, my heart is still in my mouth. These kind of games are very funny, United can go on to win with an unbelievable margin and Liverpool might just hit back in the second half, knowing they don't have much to lose now. I hope we hold on for a massive victory on the home stretch of the season.

Half time. time to go get a cup of tea. (one of the remarkable British contribution to modern civilization). here i am watching the premier league, probably the greatest contribution from Britain to modern civilization.
One United

It just went from bad to worse for liverpool. Red  card to Mascherano. Silly and stupid actually. Torres is on a tight rope too. he is on a yellow already.

If United can win this match and win one of the matches against Chelsea and Arsenal , The trophy would be back home.

united!!!!! one nil up

i know we are supposed to be celebrating our artistes but what would you d if you meet Michael Jackson? go nuts? or simply pass out. i am a freak of his , but i would not join the bandwagon of those who go jelly in the brains when they see him. these guys are all human like us boooo.

tufe:

@seun
its not over until the fat lady sings

Which fat lady would that be?

i just saw that this same joke has been posted by someone else before i did post this joke. I believe that should effectively end this thread.

i still cant believe it.

Only God knows what our politicians would do and what extent they would go to because of power. It is rather sickening, and someone has been parading himself as governor of the state since last year based on this charade called an election. What a shame. They might have even used George Bush, Michael Jackson, Hilary Clinton and who knows who else in other wards not yet discovered,

Ondo: LP shocks tribunal with evidence
From Niyi Bello, Akure

FOR a long while, the audience inside Court Two at the Akure High Court premises, venue of the Election Petition Tribunal, watched in studied silence as the Labour Party (LP) candidate in the polls, Dr. Olusegun Mimiko displayed revelations concerning the voters' register used for the last governorship exercise.

A witness, Waheed Yussuf, 49, who claimed to be an expert in the science of photography, was called by Mimiko to convince the tribunal that the election was marred by a lot of irregularities.

The tribunal in June 2007 granted the petitioner leave to scan materials used by the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) in the elections to find evidence to support his claim of rigging in 10 out of the 18 councils in the state.

Last week after a debate over the admissibility of the findings and the appearance of the eight experts on the LP's witness list played out with the legal teams of the state Governor, Dr. Olusegun Agagu's, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), INEC and Police opposing, the tribunal ruled that it had no choice but take the evidence found as a result of its earlier order.

Led in evidence by Chief Wole Olanipekun (SAN), Yussuf had identified and adopted an affidavit he deposed to last month that he was commissioned by Mimiko to assist a team of experts to identify by means of electronic scanning all the irregularities in the documents for presentation as evidence of faults in the electoral exercise.

The revelations begged questions of INEC's electronic system of registration.

The LP, which cried out when the process of registration began that many Direct Data Capture Machines used in the exercise were hidden in the homes of prominent PDP personalities to lay the foundation of rigging, said its position has been justified by the revelations.

And to prove the allegations that rigging began during the voters' registration exercise and demonstrate the failure of the electronic registration method, Olanipekun, through Yussuf, disclosed that pictures of prominent Nigerians and foreigners, were trapped in the voters' register under fake names.

Among the pictures, alleged to have been lifted from calendars, almanacs, newspapers and record albums (all of which were admitted and tendered as exhibits), were those of Justice Idris Kutigi, the Chief Justice of the Federation, which was registered as belonging to 69-year old Michael Kolawole with voter's card number 30301601780, which was used to vote at Motor Park Polling Unit in Ayetoro Registration Area of Akure North council.

The pictures of former Minister of Health, Eyitayo Lambo, former heavyweight boxing champion, Mike Tyson, Managing Director Oceanic Bank, Mrs Cecilia Ibru, Governor of Central Bank of Nigeria, Prof. Charles Soludo, Mrs Sarah Jubril, fuji musician Wasiu Ayinde and fellow musician Sola Allyson. Each was registered with different name and voter's card numbers, also appeared on cards used to vote at the same unit with the one bearing the picture of Kutigi.

At the Town Hall polling unit, Ayetoro Registration Area of Akure North council, the pictures of the Vice President Goodluck Jonathan, former National Chairman of PDP Ahmadu Ali, INEC Chairman, Prof. Maurice Iwu, Chairman Honeywell Group, Oba Otudeko, Gen. Oladipo Diya, boxing legend, Mohammed Alli, governors of Lagos and Anambra, Raji Fashola and Peter Obi, PDP gubernatorial candidate in Lagos State, Musiliu Obanikoro, OPC leader, Fredrick Faseun, and newspaper columnists Segun Gbadegesin and Sam Omatseye, were fixed to used voter's cards.

While card number 30301601907 bearing the photograph of Jonathan has the name of Bola Ogunbuyide, a 47-year old civil servant as the owner, those of Ali and Iwu have the names of 40-year old Samuel Idowu and 47-year old Akin Abayomi respectively.

Pictures of late public figures also featured in the exhibits presented by the witness. Prominent among them is that of Apostle Joseph Ayo Babalola, founder of the Christ Apostolic Church who died in 1949 but whose photograph bore the name of Oke Ademola, a 57-year old businessman.

Also included among the pictures of living or late clerics were those of Pastors D.O Odubanjo, I.O Eyebiokin and S.O Komolafe, which were affixed with the names: Sola Daniel, Oyewole Ade and Joseph Akintolarin who with that bearing the photograph of Babalola, allegedly voted at polling unit 17 at the Apoi Registration Area of the riverine Ese-Odo council.

Also presented by the witness was evidence of multiple registration of same names or same pictures bearing different names. For instance, card number 90900300158 bore the same photograph with card number 90900300234 and 90900300158 but with different names of Ahmed Alade, Azeez Alade and Silifat Olawale with age ranging from 24 to 30 and sex swinging from female to male in the three exhibits.

There were also other irregularities such as disparity in age as shown in card number 9090080032 with the data of an 18-year old female student named Deborah Adetutu but affixed with the picture of a septuagenarian and another card bearing the number 91001200216, which has the data of 64-year old Clement Ogbese but with the photograph of a teenager in school uniform.

Hundreds of photographs of under-aged children and even toddlers as shown in card number 90301202037 bearing the picture of a crawling baby with the data of 30-year old Ade Olu, who allegedly voted in unit 12 of Igbotako in Okitipupa council were also presented and admitted as exhibits.

Almost all the names listed in the voters' register for Polling Unit 13, Idiogba in Ugbo Ward 2 of Ilaje council and those of unit 10, Oke-Oluwa Zion Centre in Agbabu, Odigbo council, where almost a 100 per cent voter participation took place, were affixed with the photographs of under-aged children who were made to put on headgears to conceal their looks.

Particularly in Iju-Odo, hometown of Agagu, more than 50 per cent of the pictures that appeared on the used voters' cards belong to infants between the ages of 18 and 73.

There were also instances of non-human photographs of doors, windows, ceilings, chairs and even litterbins that were credited with human data who allegedly voted while the list containing the voters in polling unit 2 of Odeke/Aisa/Assi in Akoko North East council had no photograph at all.

Describing the disclosures as a just a peep into the electoral fraud that was allegedly perpetrated during the governorship elections, Olanipekun tendered in evidence several portions of the result forms where high votes were recorded, through the votes of these flawed lists, for Agagu and the PDP.

Earlier, the LP through its witnesses, presented about 75, 000 unused voters' cards that it claimed belonged to disenfranchised voters who were prevented from voting because of the disruptions allegedly caused by PDP and its agents.

The party also presented evidence where all the cards, which it claimed were retrieved from their owners on election day were shown to have voted with.

The PDP legal team tried to discredit the evidence by attempting to question the integrity and non-partisan nature of the expert witnesses some of whom failed to weather the storm of intense scrutiny during cross examination.

Led by Lateef Fagbemi (SAN), Agagu's lawyers, with the legal team of the PDP, INEC and Police, said they were going to raise serious objections to the admissibility of the evidence and findings and the integrity of the witnesses.

The tribunal had ruled that every evidence and exhibit tendered would be accepted without prejudice to the position of the opposing team until the end of oral submissions when oppositions can be made.

Claiming not to be perturbed with the new revelations, the Ondo State Commissioner for Information and Orientation, Eddy Olafeso who was the State Secretary of the PDP during the polls, said, "what was said to be a major discovery was nothing but scattered anomalies that are normal in an exercise of that magnitude.

"Because some discrepancies were seen in Akure North and a couple of other places does not render the electoral exercise invalid because we cannot take it as the generality of the whole exercise.

"Any human exercise is bound to have minor hitches. We are not angels and we see these things even in advanced democracies. The important thing is to have a process that represents the aspirations of the majority of the people, which the exercise in Ondo has achieved."

culled from the Tuesday Guardian online.
http://www.guardiannewsngr.com/policy_politics/article01/indexn2_html?pdate=110308&ptitle=Ondo:%20LP%20shocks%20tribunal%20with%20evidence

Now this is classic cut and paste, i got this in a mail and thought to share. Enjoy.


It was the first day of the session and a new direct entry student
Mensah, a Ghanaian joined the class in one of Nigerria's university.
The Lecturer said, "Let's begin by reviewing some Nigerian history.
Who said 'I shall return to die in the land of my fathers'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Mensah, who had his hand up
"King Jaja of Opobo, 1875"
"Very good!
Who said 'the land use act will feed the nation'"?
Again, no response except from Mensah: "Obasanjo, 1976".
The Lecturer snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Mensah
who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do"
The lecturer heard a loud whisper: " Ghana must go" "Who said that?"
she demanded
Mensah put his hand up. "Buhari, 1984".
At that point, a student in the back scornfully said,
"Hmmm, you think you are smart"
The Lecturer glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Mensah said "Babangida to Abiola, 1992, "
Now furious, another student yelled,
"Oh yeah? Eat this!"
Mensah jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the
lecturer, "Indian mistress to Abacha, 1998!"
Now, with almost mob hysteria, someone said,
"You little Shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you"
Mensah frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Chris Uba to Ngige,2004!

The Lecturer fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor,
someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Mensah whispered, "Chimaroke Nnamani,James Ibori,Ayodele
Fayose,Lucky Igbinedon,2007"

Bolarge:

Come to UCH and see for yourself.
They all end up here. . . then the basement.

i have been there severally, the cancer ward, the casualty but not the HIV ward. A visit to UCH would make one thank God for life and health, and make one very sober. It is always a sobering experience even when i just had to see a friend who put to bed at the maternity.

michelin89:

yea yea!

cool blog maam.

An ambitious investment banker finally decided to take a vacation. He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life. , at least for awhile. A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost instantly. The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 4-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him.

In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there? You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up, nothing did."
He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple." replied the woman "I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from Palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But-- but, that's impossible," stuttered the man, "you had no tools or hardware, how did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But, enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"
Sheepishly he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.
"Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked onto shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no thank you" he said, still dazed, "can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave, there is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom.
There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused, "what next?"
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines (strategically positioned) and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her. "Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? You know, "
She stared into his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: "You mean-- ?", he replied, "--I can check my voice mail from here?"

i second that