₦airaland Forum

^^^^^

Excellent response - I completely agree with this writer. You are honest, refreshing - I like the "hide yourself" comment and you didn't place the blame on the woman. You also make known your loyalty to her.

Very sensible response. And she can still feel loved at the same time.

I completely agree with:

Roland17
Armyofone
Chika98

Also - you need to do what SAFO said - "grow some balls"

How do you come on NL - ready to give out her digits so someone else and asking NL'S to actually "man up" on your behalf by breaking up with her FOR YOU?

WTF? (please forgive THE FILTH THAT JUST DROPPED FROM MY MOUTH my Lord and my God)

You start that mess now - you will be old and grey doing the same cowardly activities but with your children, your inlaws, your wife, your friends, your employers.

This is YOUR LIFE - start living it and accepting responsibility for the actions YOU INITIATED.

smh - Jesus give me strength, how do we deal with this lot of people walking around?

quote author=MRbrownJAY link=topic=769878.msg9238387#msg9238387 date=1317228631

@Shy one
let's take your points:
- a home invasion/armed robber/car jacking etc
what exactly do you expect your man to do in such situation? if i have a weapon then i may try to defend my home but, if a gun is already pointing at me, then i will comply to WHATEVER they ask and try to come out of this ordeal ALIVE.

Shy totally agrees with your above statement - I wouldn't want anything to happen to you as my man!

- club fight because you run your mouth
rather than saying that men should defend you in such example, shouldnt you say:" we women should learn how to keep quiet sometimes"?
what would you do if you were alone? why would you A) pick a fight you OBVIOUSLY KNOW you can't win B) expect a man to jump in and beat another women for you or C) not accept your faith as a weak person?

I don't run my mouth in clubs , I just run my mouth on NL - I experience what is similar to the term "liquid courage" on this website!

also, IF that's your view about how to solve issues then NO WONDER that many men beat their wives to a pulp when they have disagreements. you women are so quick to insult your partner and even throw punch at them, and yet, you would expect us to WALK AWAY. . . . . . .  while you are here preaching for VIOLENCE TO SOLVE PROBLEMS. so, you either take your "fighting" option FULLY or you dont, but dont expect men to throw punches for your disagreements in clubs AND not do the same when disagreeing with YOU!

This does NOT APPLY TO ME as I DO NOT DO IT! I am not PREACHING FOR VIOLENCE you INSUFFERABLE EGGHEAD (just joking, i just wanted to throw that in on you ) - I am telling you AGAIN that there are certain situations that you cannot fight your way out of and also don't have time to call a police officer. In Naija if someone is drunk and disorderly in the club and a bully for no apparent reason - how much time do you have to call a police officer for assistance? PROBABLY NONE. Also why is it the case where "A woman" has started an altercation? What kind of immature, ignorant women are you around for you to continually use that as your example Mr. Brownjay, Sir?


- club argument with someone drunk or stoopid
how the hell are you saying that you CANT walk away?! here is a clue, walk up to the bouncer, explain what happened and ask them to call the cops IMMEDIATELY.
there is NO reason why you COULDNT/SHOULDNT walk away, that's the BS many who aint got brains say. dont be driven by EMOTION, instead USE YOUR BRAIN in such instance!

Some clubs don't have bouncers - and/or there are times that the bouncers are outside when a fight breaks out - when alcohol is involved many times you don't have much time to go and look for help - you act as though this type of incident(s) are cookie cutter in design and can and will go as you deem it so.

if YOU have decided that you are brave/strong enough to take on that fight then do so at your own peril but, jumping in a fight EXPECTING your crew/man to join in with you, is the biatchest move i have ever witnessed.
why would you run your mouth then, if you aint got what it takes to FIGHT YOUR OWN BATTLES?!

Again - your scenarios are from a point of view of "biatch moves and running mouths" - smh

what you dont understand is that MBJ is a believer of DONT PICK A FIGHT THAT YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO FINISH! i guess you have no idea of the consequences of fighting in club like goons, i do! i also know that it is NEVER the end because, even if you knock that person out, the fight is NEVER over. tomorrow if they see you, they will come back at you AGAIN with all their might. so sorry, but YES there is always a choice to WALK AWAY.

Apparently, You are a goon who lives in a cocoon - There are not ALWAYS OPTIONS TO WALK AWAY. Or maybe you are just in a different environment all together. When I was clubbing (my parents owned a nightclub that was "the place to be" - I can recall walking into the ladies room and being jumped by 2+ girls just by standing in the mirror and combing out my hair in their drunken, envious, ignorant presence - we didn't even exchange words - I was accused of flipping my hair in the face of the one and then got gang jumped in the bathroom - no time to call, no time to scream - I had to fight or get beat down - when it was over because I kicked one out the door and then security ran inside to get the other two who were taking turns physically lambasting me. American women are vicious buddy especially a large majority of AA women and can be some of the most envious and ignorant lots especially those that are young and uneducated. You use blanket statement examples as though that is the only scenarios that occur - you are very limited in your understanding it seems.

everything DO go fast during crisis but that's NOT a reason to lose your brain and do something stoopid. you have YET to tell me what stomping someone (that you cant beat on YOUR OWN) is going to achieve?
funny how you earlier talked about "NO TIME TO THINK IN SUCH SITUATION" but yet you want your MAN to have time to think and come and save you, ironic dont you think?!

I clearly said that we would assist EACH OTHER. You fruit cake.

why do you think that so many AA are in jail for BS or dead? how many times have we heard of guys being shot dead because they ran their mouth to protect some gal? thats what is commonly known as a NIG[b]G[/b]A MOMENT. where i come from, fights go TILL THE END, that means:"you better kill him because if you dont, he will kill you tomorrow!"
so here is what i am saying LOUD AND CLEAR:" NO, I AM NOT WILLING TO GO TO JAIL LIFE (OR DIE) FOR ANYONE'S HONOR!"

What about for you life? Let's kill the "honor" scenario you keep pushing. How about to defend your own life in a situation when you don't have time to do anything else? Talk your way out of it? Cop Plea? Make an Alibi? What about situations that occur on that level? What about that? The Post states "In an Emergency" - On your own you again turn it into a situation that was initiated by a woman "running her mouth, blah, blah, blah" crapola? Can you answer this one for me please? This time just give me a straight answer.

of course, sometimes you HAVE to fight to protect/defend yourself BUT, that's completely different than doing so because your partner finds herself in a riot of thugs or ran her mouth in a club!

Now see? this one finally only an itty bitty tiny sentence - do you CLEARLY MAKE SENSE. This is WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT - I am not talking about a big mouth woman in a club. So you are saying if the woman is in a riot of thugs NOT INITIATED ON HER PART - you would not assist?

OK - lights out for me - just finished a client job.

Nite NL.

Ok fine

So the question is "If something happens to him would I remain with him forever" - paralysis, brain damage, coma, etc?

Yes, I would remain with him - I am very loyal - even to my own demise unfortunately - If I am there fighting with him?  Why wouldn't I be there for him?  If he is paralyzed or brain dead or comatose - in the U.S. he would be in a facility with a staff of nurses -  that I would sleep at with him night and day.

This goes without saying - but also I am not with a mate who is foolish enough to pick a fight - this is self defense I am speaking of.  Who is to say that if he hadn't fought he still wouldn't have gotten shot?

I don't put myself in risky situations or hang out in bad areas - but you could be at an ATM withdrawing money or in a parking garage trying to get into your car, or in your own home taking a shower or preparing for bed.  These are the situations in which I speak - where you might have no choice but to defend yourself.

@ 2Buff

Let's be real here.  This isn't romance novels.  There are times more so than not - where you have to fight and have no time to call the police.  There just isn't time - and if you aren't showing your azz at a club and running your mouth or picking fights - God is going to be with you and with yours.

I'm just saying - who here goes to clubs and picks fights?  I don't even operate on that level - I don't go to bars and if I do it would be a rare occasion and I would be invited by a group of people and would be there in a crowd of loved ones - so things like that wouldn't even occur with me - they would move me out of the way soo fast.  Look at my profile - those black men on that profile would be moving as a group in one unit.  No romance novel - just fact.

I am just saying no one wants to fight - I detest it - but I will in a heartbeat do whatever I have to do and I HAVE ALREADY DONE IT SEVERAL TIMES in defense of a loved one because I didn't have a choices.  Many people don't have phones or the battery is dead, etc.  That is all I am saying.  In instances where you can call the police - you do - but in instances where you can't?  You fight.  It is that cut and dried.

I want my mate safe - definitely as I my love for him would crush me if something happened to him - but as I stated there are going to be times where you will have to make a choice - your life or their life.  Standing there staring down the barrel of a gun with your fingers crossed hoping they don't pull the trigger - sometimes isn't going to cut it.  And that's truth.

the photo is interesting - i like the yellow boot in the far lower right hand corner - cute, really cute - I have a shoe fetish

that pump ole girl is wearing isn't too bad either

It is a funny picture - laughable actually

MBJ's examples are asinine - "we women run our mouths" - and because of that men shouldn't fight on our behalves.

I'm just not understanding - clearly I think it is more about the fact that MBJ - ISN'T A PROPONENT OF FIGHTING and doesn't want to   - and actually that is his right and that is ok - he can choose to not defend his woman, and he can choose to walk/run away.  That is on him.  I don't care for fighting either - but there are times where fighting is THE ONLY CHOICE.

Just be honest - the scenarios listed are listed to defend the position to call 911.  And there is nothing wrong with calling 911 - IF YOU HAVE THAT OPTION AND TIME TO MAKE THAT CALL.

In all honesty - the situations I have observed - been involved in personally and have known of others who have been placed in - there is no time to call 911 - everything goes too fast.  Home invasions, robberies, gang fights in Night Clubs - that moves too fast - it is "Fight or Flight" and most times it is "Fight"

I have yet to meet an AA male that didn't defend his woman IMMEDIATELY no questions asked - no alibis given - no trying to talk their way into or out of a situation - they just threw hands and it was over with quickly.  Not much blood shed - I have seen people with guns and guns removed from them right away.

As much as MBJ goes on and on and on about why he won't , why he shouldn't.  Others have knocked the perpetrators unconscious and moved on to their next activity.  I don't know - maybe I have just been lucky - or maybe it is just my makeup and men feel protective towards me - I have had 3 serious relationships in my life and all 3 men have been very protective - embarrassingly so.  

No man or woman would dare put their hand on me in their presence or out of their presence as the men were very well known.  I have never started a fight as public disagreements are shameful - but jealousy and envy are prevalent in the black community.  Men will stalk you and women will hound you.

There are times where you have to stand and fight - running will get you killed and many times you don't have time to grab a phone - when those options are removed - you will have to stand your ground.  It matters not what be your lot - be it wife or girlfriend or friend.

^^^

fine ok.

In the real world we do have men that will fight for your honor

Not trying to challenge you MBJ - but there are men that will stand up - and they will stand up right away - Every man I have dated has fought on my behalf and that is truth.

@ Topic

I am not a fighter - though I talk bold many times on this forum because Shy is very, very, very passionate.

But I can say this and God is my witness - My man won't get beat up in front of me - If he is beat - we will get beat together because we will be fighting tooth and nail back to back.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith Style and That is A Promise. I won't run - I won't leave him - I will call on Jesus Name - But I will Fight.

If he runs and reaches for me - I will run with him - but whatever we do - it will be together. I won't leave him and if he leaves me - it will be the last time he ever sees me.

wow

Shy is listening and learning

wow

hmmmmm - not sure what to say to this thread

Poster - it is my sincerest desire that you are gifted with someone of quality who cares deeply for you and "cheating"  isn't part or parcel to her or to what she brings to a relationship with you.

In you personal life - subscribe to "joy cometh in the morning" which dawns a new day -  look forward to this in your relationship versus signs of cheating.

You will find what you look for - look for what you want to bring into your experience.  You are and you will experience exactly what you eat.

I think strangers are more reliable to air differences than family or friends or pastors

That is just my personal opinion.

Family complicates things as their views are jaded and prejudiced towards their family member.

Friends - get too worked up and start taking sides and might even make advances at the partner they have secretly had their eye unbeknownst to you.

Strangers can be more hands off and listen to the issues a bit more and not take sides as much as the other parties.

Goldieluks:
More like a 40 year old mum asking a 17 year old boy out!

REALITY101:
Ahmmmm Mayday Mayday copy? Shy-One please go look for your age mate this dude sound way too young for your age. And uhmm are you horny? no offense what I read above sounds more like it.

You both are quite silly really - and your age stats are COMPLETELY INACCURATE - you NL's assume and read into things and blow mole hills into mountains - smh

okk

well

so

you are Lax

hmmmmm, I need to sign off - am exhausted.

have a good evening.

For some reason - if you mentioned it - I didn't retain it

And if you did mention it before - at that time, you were more or less just a user name, whereas now, you are a bit more than just a userid as I am talking a bit more to you on NL and off

So you have my attention much more and I am now able to retain your words and you are separated out from the crowd of other user ids.

So I can see you for you a bit more clearer if you understand what I mean

I thought that if you lived with someone prior to marriage - that you would be able to have a clearer picture of whether or not you would be able to suffer that person during a marriage

I also thought that living together would allow you to get to know the "real person"

It definitely does give you the above 2 statements

but it also kills it on the romance end - or at least it did for me

I would have to marry someone prior to living with them.

How did you know what I wanted (horoscope)?

You look almost identical to someone I knew and it just completely was shocking, very shocking so it really caught me off guard so I apologize for my response - I was unprepared to see that photo or to see the uncanny resemblance.

So how old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

And Are you Yoruba?

Lax75:
Why? What if I am?

I don't know what to say,

But I can tell you that you are a very handsome man and I will leave it at that.

What is your month and day of birth - may I ask you?

Is it you? Tell me - ok? Are you in the black? Gosh - Is that you? Is it?

Please don't tell me you are the one wearing the black shirt

^^^

Ok so which one are you?

^^^^

yes - I am

^^^^

hmmmmm sounds good.

I used to believe in it

I don't anymore.

I have to marry to live with you - until we marry - I can opt for living in the same building but in separate apartments - so that I can have my privacy and go home and he go home as well.  When you live together - the newness wears off too soon.

I just feel that you wind up sacrificing the "romance" of a relationship when you move in prior to marriage.  I would love to live in the same building because we could be together alot - but at the end of the day I need my own space.

There still needs to be some mystery and intrigue prior to a marriage and anticipation.  Moving in together prior to marriage could result in "never marrying"

^^^^

So out of curiosity - what are you?

Lax75:
Lol! I see you have blended in and become an honorary naija.

I must admit, I have been guilty of giving the silent treatment. Very guilty as a matter of fact. But maturity and experience has taught me that it is not an effective means of dealing with situations. Not at all. Your mate should be your best friend and you should learn how to air out differences w/out hitting below the belt.

ooooo

ok

I agree - your mate should be your best friend - you should learn how to air out differences - yes maturity and experience are great teachers - thanks for your honesty.