ShyOne's Posts
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lolololololololololol ahahahahahaha ooooooooooo ![]() soooo funnnnyyyy - this is a great thread - lololololol |
@ Lax I just re-read your comment and saw this part Lax75:If it were you - hmmmmmm ok |
Lax75:He got pretty upset with me - really, really upset - but we worked through it - I really hope I don't have to deal with the "silent treatment" from a future mate again. I tire ooo. Do you give "silent treatment" or have you received it from another? |
@ CalienteMi (what kind of crazy ish name have you picked this time - did you watch too much TV? where are you coming up with these names?) How do I know who you are or who you aren't? Just because someone said it doesn't make it so. Stop arguing all the time - why in the heck are you banned this time? What did you do? |
REALITY101:You flatter me ![]() Lax75:Lax - I had dealt with it for 2 years - trying to be a good wifey - but it really hurt - it hurts when someone gives silent treatment and you go over the top to please them. It really hurts especially if you are from an environment where you talk about your thoughts, troubles and concerns. My family - both parents were teachers and had masters and doctoral degrees and really believed in discussing and working things out. So to find out that my husband (now deceased) was into using a "silent treatment" approach - I found out after we married that one of his few not-so-good qualities was this approach - I just knew for the sake of the marriage and resolving issues "we had to talk" - so I had to study what would or wouldn't be the most effective approach - and those were what nipped it in the bud. I felt a bit guilty about "spending his money" though because he was a very frugal saver and I knew if I spent money - he wouldn't stay silent for long. Also, hiding his underwear and deodorant - gave me a bit of qualms as well - but I needed him to talk to me and it was effective. I knew that crying or screaming or theatrics would not work on him at all. We were able to work things out by talking things through. ![]() So how have you been? I will respond to your last transmittal. |
MsDarkSkin:OK Mz Darkskin - I will stop - when you show up - it is like a calming effect - I calm down. Thank you for your presence. Chima riles us up - Ms. Trashy You calm us down - Ms. Classy I love you both (even though sometimes Chima makes me mad) |
CalienteMi:It is Chima - ahahahahahaha woman you are something else!!!!! I knew it sounded like you. stop playing!!! |
REALITY101: ![]() |
CalienteMi:ok - how old are you? you sound ignorant and childish - almost like a very unhappy woman who enjoys nitpicking and constantly finding fault with others - you contribute very little that is helpful - but you are quick to contribute counter-productive "name calling" to those who do contribute my contributions to the thread are to help others who are dealing with this type of behavior - while I am contributing helpful suggestions - you are quick to call me and others "childish" and other "degrading" names - you sound like Chima under a new username - I wonder just how correct I am - if it is Chima - what I find childish is your constant bans, over and over and over again and your constant "new usernames" - you are so desperate to stay on NL you clutch at straw after straw after straw to maintain your presence - now how "childish" is that - you who are such a "grown woman" - who doesn't engage in "silent treatment" - I wonder if your husband many times gets on his knees and prays that you do "go to bed at night giving him the silent treatment" - that you say you don't do - I can bet if he had the money he would pay you to stay quiet. he would hope that you would gift him with silence |
[quote author=tpia@ link=topic=750870.msg9226505#msg9226505 date=1317083750]if they're adults, i'm not sure how the matter concerns anyone else, the thread starter's s.tupid post aside. silent treatment without malice and grudge keeping is far better than ranting and raving all over the place. however, if the silence is accompanied by maliciousness, then that's witchcraft on the part of either the man or woman. imo, its not everything that needs to be carried on one's head. Sometimes we need to learn to let things go and stop majoring in minors.[/quote]I like that - "stop majoring in minors" - I'm going to remember that - you are actually quite right. |
REALITY101:I know - aren't they handsome? Handsome guys - they don't know and they wouldn't care if they did know. They are all listed on other websites as well so they are used to attention. Human trafficking, hmmmmm, now that's a thought. lololol |
CalienteMi:Then you must have stumbled in the wrong thread That is the difference between you and I - what is seen as a time waster to you - brought me many results - as I no longer had to deal with "Silent Treatment" Many men and women use silent treatment in this manner - it is good that you "didn't let the sun go down without attempting to talk" - the problem with your response is that you are responding to a thread that is directed at those "Who are UNLIKE YOU" @ Thread Topic Those who have dealt with silent treatment know that to "make attempts to talk is a time waster" - for the one who directs the silent treatment and authors it - won't stand still long enough to listen to your attempts to talk nor will they give you audience in the bed, kitchen, bath or living room and if they do look at you long enough to hear anything you have to say - they generally will remain stone-faced and refuse to answer. My response to the forum is that you can either "deal with it" or get effective in deleting it. I was effective and my method worked on my mate and it didn't take long at all. I was able to help him through his inability to communicate but it took me some time to figure out what would work for him and for me in our situation. ![]() |
horny4u:Thanks - it worked like a charm - There are times when you have to just put your foot down in "non traditional ways" I believe in being effective and not wasting time - No yelling, no screaming - you also have to observe what is effective for "Your particular situation" - my husband was a neat and tidy individual - very, very, very clean - fastidiously so - and needed to be surrounded by order at all times. So relocating his items - really offset him - he kept a super busy agenda and calendar and didn't have a lot of time to replace this or look for that. Very intelligent. He would ignore those he didn't want to be bothered with - when he turned it on me - at first I was unsure of what was going on, then once I caught on and decided to not put up with it any longer, then I just politely removed the floor from beneath him in very "untraditional manners" - later we looked back and laughed - especially when he had shaving cream on his face and couldn't find his razor and he needed to go to work but decided to not speak to me because of his "feelings of anger" over whatever I did or didn't do. It is important to remove behaviors that will kill a relationship - remove them early in the relationship so you can thrive and bond for a lasting marriage. If you have dealt with the "silent treatment" for a number of years - it is still not too late to change that individual. Observe them and find out what is an irritant to them - and remove what they value - do it quietly with little fuss - and just keep you lips sealed - don't respond to their reactions unless they are of a violent nature. Let them know that "we need to meet and talk things over that silent treatment can backfire and will only elevate the situation to an unbearable level" There are certain behaviors I just won't deal with and "silent treatment" is one of them. Remember you are in the relationship/marriage with them - they didn't go into it alone. They can't alone dictate how your interaction should be. |
All husbands have irritating ways - you don't walk out of a marriage you focus on change - IT WORKED and HE CHANGED for the better - might I add - ![]() let me refocus and pull your attention back to the thread topic CalienteMi:this isn't about temper tantrums - AS NO ONE WAS HAVING A TEMPER TANTRUM This isn't about being "woman enough or being a real man" - seems like you want to just "wing it and start a new topic by evolving my response into another topic entirely" This is about 2 people in a relationship or a marriage where one party gives the other the "silent treatment" - silent treatment means "No Talking" - "No Listening" "Laying it on the table doesn't occur when one party doesn't listen, doesn't talk and doesn't respond" Anyone who has experienced "silent treatment" can attest to what I am saying. So your response to me - is obsolete. Can we stay on topic? For the sake of the poster? Thanks |
^^^^ Revenge is a response directed "out of spite" - to pay someone back. I don't call doing what I did - revenge - because my motive wasn't one of "spite" - I needed "results" that would eliminate my having to experience "silent treatment" I posted my post so that anyone experiencing silent treatment could also "eliminate" it from their video by knowing that there are "options" available to them - just because someone "dishes" out something doesn't mean you have to "take it". You can decide what you will and what you won't put up with, From a spouse or a mate. Many people don't consider "silent treatment" as childish, I actually consider it as "uneducated" - many people actually consider the use of silent treatment as a better option than arguing or violence - they consider "silent treatment" as quite adult compared to arguing. I don't categorize it as either - I just refuse to accept it. We will discuss things like adults or you will find yourself following me around "just to get me to talk to you" |
I had someone who used silent treatment as a weapon - and since I had never experienced silent treatment - it was very painful to me and hurt me deeply. Then after a few years of dealing with this person (a mate) and I studied that individual closely to ascertain/figure him out. It dawned on me how to remove "silent treatment" from my life. The first thing you have to do is to immediately go into "automatic pilot" and stop caring about him speaking or not speaking to you and START focusing on yourself. Also introduce him to "gorilla warfare-type of attention grabbing conversation items" 1. I started spending his money (normally I am a saver-when he stops speaking it initiates that very lavish spender that resides within )2. I started selling things out of the home that I knew he would miss 3. I interrupted his daily routine (relocated his hygiene products and shaving/bath items as well as his underwear) I also did not do the above list in the order listed and I did not do them ALL TOGETHER - I also did it really QUIETLY WITHOUT SOUND or advance notice of any sort - and I would do them randomly and then go to the gym or the spa or visit friends for hours and hours and hours so that I am not seen or heard when he comes home and I MAKE SURE THAT I intentionally am not around as his frustrations peak as they usually peak whenever he cannot find this or that (he would arrange his personal items according to shape, size and color) - after a few times of not being able to find this or that - he immediately stopped the silent treatment and when he stopped and started speaking and asking me - "where is this and where is that and what I am doing and where am I going" - I decided on my own to extend his silent treatment routine FOR HIM - just because he wants to now stop doesn't mean that I am going to stop from staying silent so "I continued to stay quiet until I was ready to talk" When I turned and flipped "his silent treatment" back on him - he stopped - but it took me some time to figure out how to rid my life of that nonsensical manner of his. If you have a problem with me - we need to discuss it - or I will make you join me in the "hell you create" in your attempts to control me. You will be my partner in that hell. Adults should learn to be adults or pay the consequences that comes from irrational behavior. |
^^^ If true love begins when romance ends I don't want it. Romance should always be part and parcel with true love it might not be as strong in later years BUT IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE THERE. When we stop holding hands or stop desiring the presence of the other - I no longer want to be party to the relationship. If our Fond and warm feelings that we have are BURIED in the heart and ARE NOT actively shown to each other; but ARE FREELY given to other family members and close friends - but we no longer show and share that with each other - I won't remain in a relationship that dwindles to that level - I need more than that with a spouse or a mate. Our prenup agreement must have that stated within its confines "romance and romantic gestures must remain in the relationship You have to actively and continuously show me that you care for me - same as I will show him. If I am the only one submitting loving gestures and he has resigned himself to "only living" the relationship by just going to work each day, eating and sleeping and doing a routine that is devoid of "romance". He can sign up for that lifestyle choice with someone else who values it much more than I do. |
[quote author=High_Chief link=topic=766419.msg9210718#msg9210718 date=1316864574]Am very well dear, getting ready for the week-end action, you like footies?[/quote]What do you mean by footies? |
[quote author=High_Chief link=topic=766419.msg9207922#msg9207922 date=1316813513]Shy-One how are you doing? Been a while[/quote]Hi Chief - I am doing well - I am hanging in there - yes sir - it has been a while - how are you? |
MyJoe:Sheesh You men are funny. Stop begging for my attention and fabricating nonsense and directing that fabrication at me. You didn't open the thread and I don't even know what you posted earlier as I haven't read it. I also didn't highlight it or refer to it on any level. stop being a big ol' mean bully. ![]() |
![]() ahahahah - what have i gone and done this time? lololololol why are you calling me out? MyJoe:what are you talking about you cad? lolololololol - I don't even recall speaking to you - who's pregnant? ahahahahahah - what is this mess you speak? lololol thank god it's friday - these Nairalanders sef |
arsenefc:lololololol - you devil Shy has missed you - really I have - I was surprised myself Where have you been? I am trying to learn a little bit - A Yoruba name? Now that sounds fascinating - hmmmmm - why don't you give me one? Choose something exotic - that has meaning - Something that means beautiful ![]() Where have you been? Stop leaving - the forum sucks without you in it. |
pinkrex:fine by me |
arsenefc:Arsenfc you sound like FStranger1-infinity Is that you F? Anyway - watch your behavior - jare - you are still on the market - FACE FRONT |
pinkrex:I did as you directed - still not exactly sure of what I am suppose to surmise by the few comments and the one emoticon you used on Page 1. Please elaborate |
maclatunji: Pukkah:Excellent thoughts and ideas - let's encourage them to be put to use - ASAP |
arsenefc: ![]() |
pinkrex:^^^ - I see that you are clueless - wowwww, u are missing out - truly missing out on a very great experience. arsenefc:I am not your dictionary or encyclopedia - you need to Take Se.x 101 or do your own personal research. |
A good man can enrich his wife's family with sharing his tradition, his goals and his income so YES - her family should PAY as a token of appreciation for his family allowing him to marry her. |
@ OP Bride and Groom Price should be paid to BOTH FAMILIES. A woman isn't the only treasure being given. Men are breadwinners, leaders and if you get a VERY GOOD ONE - he is worth his weight in gold. He could have married someone other than you - I think that tradition should be revised so that groom prices are paid to the families who have birthed, educated, trained the man who is also given to the woman. The woman is given to the man and the man is given to the woman. They are lucky to have EACH OTHER and the families should be compensated for the years of work that went into the product(s) of that marriage. Good thread - thanks for opening it. |
MyJoe:What? I love being on top and on the bottom during sex. Missionary and doggy is the only acceptable position for Nigerian men? Is that what you are intimating here? Please tell me that- that is NOT what you are trying to say. Se.x SHOULD NOT BE BORING, mundane, mechanical |
Wallie:A woman is a reflection of her man/mate and vice versa A man is a reflection of his woman The face that you present to everyone around you - represents the taste of your mate. You look horrible - he looks horrible and vice versa. I love seeing my man looking good and have bought him many threads and in turn - he has done the same for me. Beautiful African clothing. There is NOTHING wrong with spending money on each other. I love wearing what he has bought for me - it just makes your feel so special and loved. |






