₦airaland Forum

michelin,
   I dont think you are a bitch. You are who you are. If you feel the natural need to be more "in touch" with the softer side, then you are on the right path by questioning yourself. Just because you tell it like it is doesnt make you a bitch.

Dont try to change who you are unless it is coming from inside you. Some people grow a tough personality because they want to protect themselves from being hurt, used or walked over. Maybe you just dont want to be vulnerable as when you get hurt, you get hurt bad.

If you have a boyfriend, talk to him about it, so he doesnt think you dont love him. I am sure he will find a way to bring out that softer side from you. At the end of the day, if being who you are is affecting close family or friends, then it is ok to look inside to seek change.

Lovemoi, dont feel offended by the guys here, they are just giving their opinion. Personally, I think you should go ahead and explore your sexuality. Find someone who thinks like you and explore the world of "naughtiness" with the person.

I would advice not jumping from guy to guy, but finding one or 2 guys that meet your mindset and experiment.

I would not advice that you go with your boyfriends friend as this might cause hurt and pain if/when he finds out. The world is your oyster, go for it!!!

I personally have no bias (negative or positive) to religion or Islam. Firstly let us understand that religion is a means of hope for many people who are poor. Most times, poor people are not educated in anyway.

If you look at a poor Christian, he goes to church fanatically, hoping God will change his plight in life. Christianity and many other religions (Judaism etc) as a religion and in it teaching ,makings and dynamics does not allow for misinterpretation within the uneducated mindset that might have negative mindset/outcome.

Islam on the other hand does this. I don't think Islam is bad, its teaching aren't. Islam in the head of an uneducated young man is bad as its teachings can be misconstrued to allow for negative actions (attacking, believing its view is the only one out there etc).

Many Islamic issues or groups having a negative impact in our world always have a leader (Osama,, the leader of Boko Haram etc). These people are always well educated and know better. But they have a personal agenda they are looking to drive and are happy to use Islam and its uneducated followers to achieve this.

I have never seen an educated Muslim burning cars, houses and being involved in vilolence, from Nigeria to Pakistan, this I have never seen. They are all uneducated, poor people who hold onto their religion (Islam) and take its teaching without any thoughts or underlying understanding. My point is that the teachings of Islam has the highest chance of its followers misunderstanding and misconstrueing it to take actions like we are seeing in Northern Nigeria.

I see your point from your response to Mrjaybrown,

It is a case of double standards, most likely, a woman who is sexually liberated (freak if we want to call it that) doesnt conform or fit the bill of "decent, good girl". Most men want both i.e good girl in public, bad girl in bed. The public persona is most important to these kind of men, so they marry a good girl in the end and try to get her to be "freaky".

I agree that a man should marry a woman who suscribes to his sexual mindset, Some men marry women who are freaks and arent "good girls" in public. Those men know who they are.

But, there are some women out there that fit the bill i.e girls you can take home to mum and girls that would blow ur mind away in bed, Now that would be the ideal woman for most men, abi?

Oyinda (got the spelling right this time), some men (not all) have double standards, thats the way the society has allowed it to happen, i.e men sleep around, then marry the "good girl".

Things are changing though, soon this wont be the norm as women will begin to feel equal more and more in our society.

But, there are still men who like a decent woman (intelligent, smart, well behaved, presentable on all level), but a damn right sex godess in bed. It just means we get the best of both worlds and get to have a woman who satisfies our sexual fantasies and hence we dont tend to stray from the home because of that.

Think of it this way : Some women want a "Mr Darcy" in public but a James Bond in bed too!

I think Oyinde's issue really lies with men who want to sleep around and then marry a Conservative woman who is as freaky as the one they slept around with.

Sex is private and that is the society we live in. We don't have people having sex on TV on a Saturday afternoon, that means the society we live in agrees that sex is private. Now what you do in privacy as per sex should have no limit as long as both parties agree what they get up to.

How do you define being a freak in public? Walking around nude? flirting with other men when you are in a serious relationship? What are these freaky attributes that men don't want their women to show outside, but hide inside? If you look closer, these aren't attributes that anyone would like to show in public anyway, (I am not referring to freedom of how a woman wants to dress or going out with friends without her man etc, )

Oyinde, have I made any sense at all to you?

Nubian, I didn't know you were a softie in the past

I guess our past experiences makes us who we are now, Interesting to see you once had a weaker side

But, in as much as we say all we have said in this thread, we are are looking for true love (deep down inside). Its in our nature, it's a human desire (like hunger, envy, happiness, sexual desire etc)



PS: Hell yeah!, I voted for you!!!!

It doesn't matter who breaks up the engagement,

the engagement ring has to be returned to the man if the wedding is called off as it signifies the acceptance of marriage and if the marriage is off (for whatever reason) then it has to be returned.

This isn't just my 2 cents, its the etiquette of engagement and marriage.

Without sounding "holier than thou", how would you feel if you best friend slept with you mother? (No disrespect intended)

My first job in the UK was with a retail store ........

In as much as it pains me to say it, I have to, Almodjoy is 100% spot on!

Interesting!!!

Hello Iceland, you missed out George Lazenby

, he featured in only one episode - "On her majesty's secret service"

I read somewhere he was an ex-model!