₦airaland Forum

maclatunji: @bolded, it could be any number of things like:

1. Do I like you enough to want to spend the rest of my life with you.(I wouldn't want to get bored midway).

2. Can we operate on the same wavelength? Can you understand me when I speak/act and put whatever I say/do in proper context?

3. How problematic would it be for our two families to merge because of us? Family strain can kill whatever the two of us think we have and rather than see that happen, I would just let you be. I am the man, I am usually expected to make the first move.

4. Do I find you attractive enough? I don't want you complaining in future that I am not meeting your sexual desires as much as you expect in the future. Rather than allow that happen, I would just let you be. I must find my wife attractive!

Questions: Can I compromise on these things?

Answer: Yes. However, you must at least achieve some basic levels of meeting these requirements apart from the standard ones that have been oft-repeated here from the hadith. In addition, a healthy dose of genuine care and affection will help mitigate any deficiencies that I have noted. I know and can tell when someone truly cares about me.

I hope I have answered your questions.

Yes you have, and so succinct. Thank you

Judek2: Ask for explanation if you cant decode. . My signature is pure and simply conveying true message. Hope u got no problem with that..

B/w. . Why is my picture always being hidden? Do the mods find it provocative
[b]I dont see anything wrong with Pictograming an immagination of surety [/b]occurance that made the holy and eternal house of God carnal.

Yeah i got the message quite clear, i got no problem with believing in the son of man, without that, my faith isn't complete...He is a true messenger of Allah no more, no less.
I was really referring to your uploaded painting/picture...
@bolded why not upload your wife's(if you are married) painting/picture unclad? and didn't you guys say your body is the temple of God? when you engage in intimate relation with your wife, aren't you being carnal? defiling the temple of God?
I know your mind is freaking you out, we Muslims don't roll like that. Don't bother about our paradise, you said you aint interested and you need to really emulate Jesus to attain salvation o...be celibate.

maclatunji: Hmmm... it is. not bragging if I say I am a very deep person. Not every woman can understand and accommodate me but the one that does and that I like nay love back is in for something special (God-willing).

The problem with me is that I leave little to chance. So, there may be women that I kind-of like but once I identify something that might not make "us" work (it may be from me or her). I just shut her out.

Hence, she might be thinking: why does this guy not make a move? However, I have decided against it.

I am becoming a little bit uncomfortable about being single. It is either I meet my "ideal" woman first or I achieve the financial freedom I want first and then seriously go out and search for a wife.

I set an age I saw as ideal for me to marry about 5 years ago. I will be reaching that age next year. I just wonder if Allah agrees with that age and my marriage.

Absolutely cool, i so much can relate to this, i can imagine you being referred to as eccentric sometimes...
Thanks a lot for your reply, now i have a new perspective of you.
I had somehow thought in the past about my person being reticent thus i can accommodate anything and anybody, alas! marriage is a lifelong commitment or rather i say eternal.
@bolded what could those things be? for i think it not just simple things; which makes me wonder if there can be a compromise on your part? You know we aint perfect.
Next year ti de tan o, InshAllah I pray our aspirations are inline with Allah's' amin

LagosShia: may be it will only be clapping of hands,stamping of feet and shaking of bom-bom as we see in present-day churches.i wonder how "angel-like" bom-bom would be like!!!

Mehn, you have killed me with laugh o

tintingz: lol...its Jesus that said so...so where or when will I get my 100foldes...singing, dancing blowing trumpet in heaven forever(boring) is this not a serious punishment or flying around like angels looking for wat na? Jesus said he will drink wine and eat in his fathers kingdom with 12 tables and his disciples will join...do angels drink and eat?

maclatunji: LMFSO. Kai, see delusion. I can imagine Angel-like Tiarabubu. @Tiarabubu, do you even know what angels are?

Ha! now i see clearly why these christian dudes are so obsessed with the muslim's version of paradise...so its angels and singing tinz eh? will there be the sophisticated musical instruments or just the harp?
@Judek2, i thought you are a good christian na? whats with the painting on ur signature just say your mind, so we know how to help you.

maclatunji: You won't believe the words that came to my mouth reading your post. Well, I have to find the right girl first. I haven't so far. And to be honest I have not started a decisive search.

Hmmmm, i can just imagine
Permit me to pry a little bit, i see you as a likable and fun-to-be-with person. Are you kinda picky? when do you intend to start a decisive search?

maclatunji: ^Funny but true. I think all of these things boil down to love and understanding, if a man and woman truly love each other. The things some of us are spending pages upon pages arguing about will come naturally.

Can we just stop the cyclical arguments and move forward?

Ok Sir, moving forward, when are you getting married?

Super Mario64
I couldn't help it, just got to know about Nintendo 64 emulator, feeling nostalgic already

MacDaddy01: Abrogation?


The Quran clearly permits Muhammad to marry his cousin....and marry his cousin, he did.

No, its not a case of abrogation, its the permissibility of not doing what is permitted due to the risk or harm that is involved.

deols: you can marry your cousins is different from you must marry your cousins.

Of course, consanguinity increases your risks of having genetic diseases and for that reason you can decide not to be engaged in such a marriage. You could also have cultural reasons not to.

the only thing to note is, You are allowed to and no one should prevent you from doing so.

Abeg help me tell am o.

MacDaddy01: The point is that the noble quran and Muhammad by explaining the risks rather than permitting it.

A doctor will tell you that is is risky but not prevent you from doing so.
Quran permits it without telling you the risks

Pathetic again, you lack knowledge about islam but you are too arogant to admit your ignorance.
Islam teaches us to be mindful of our health and seek ways in improving our daily lives. Allah says: "and do not bring yourself into destruction"
Allah's Apostle said, "Plague was a means of torture sent on a group of Israelis (or on some people before you). So if you hear of its spread in a land, don't approach it, and if a plague should appear in a land where you are present, then don't leave that land in order to run away from it (i.e. plague)." (Bukhari)
As mu slims, anything that will course us harm are in fact forbidden, a Muslim does not harm another Muslim with his tongue or actions(hadith)...if you think Islam is a stagnant religion then you are wrong.
what are the risk of getting married to your cousins? genetic diseases abi? what are theses diseases? sickle cell, cancer, diabetes, Huntington’s disease etc. If your family does not have an history of any of these diseases the what will be the reason stopping the marriage?
For your information, you need to do a background check on your spouse to know their medical history, marrying from even another continent does not protect you from inheritable genetic disorders.

MacDaddy01: See this quack. Divorces are rare or not heard of? They are two different things.

Pathetic! yeah they are two different things, likewise rare divorce cases and prevalent or rampant divorce cases.
Next time, try to understand what is written and think deeply before you comment.

tintingz: which of the hadith...if they are women, women will also get 72 women or let say 72 men?

fellis: I can't tell you any hadith off my head but I have seen hadiths that described the houris with physical attributes of women.
So you have never come across any such hadith?

Umme Salamah narrates that she said to Rasulull:lh "0 RaSlllullah, are the women of this world superior or the hurs?" He replied, "The women of this world will have superiority over the hurs just as the outer lining of a garment has superiority over the inner lining." Umme Salamah then asked, "0 RasUlullah, what is the reason for this?" He answered, "Because they performed salah, fasted, and worshipped [Allah]. Allah will put light on their faces and silk on their bodies. [The human women] will be fair in complexion and will wear green clothing and yellow jewelry. Their incense-burners will be made of pearls and their combs will be of gold. They will say, 'We are the women who will stay forever and we will never die. We are the women who will always remain in comfort and we will never undergo difficulty. We are the women who will stay and we will never leave. Listen, we are happywomen and we will never become sad. Glad tidings to those men for whom we are and who are for us.' (Tabarani)

gent paris: What do muslim couple talk after their divorce.


Woman: Saleem’s abbu, now there is no relation between us. We are divorced now.


Man: Don’t say that saleem’s mom. You are still my beloved cousin sister.

How many of your immediate family members do you contact? talkless of your cousins? for your info, divorce in such marriages are rare and i am sure you know the reasons...

olawalebabs: Sitat Shawwal is there. Monday and Thursday fasting is there and the good deeds are there too. It was reported in one of hadith that anybody that follow up his or her ramadan fast with another 6 in the month of shawwal will be rewarded as somebody that fasted for the whole year. May Allah make it easy for us.

Amin Ya Allah!
Brothers and sisters, lets be quick with the 6 fast in shawwal cos our body is yet to adjust back to non-fasting mode. i guess most people will skip lunch or not think about it cos it as become part of us. Stop procrastinating and start now before its too late.

^^^The best way (i think) to avoid such is by carrying your parents along as you grow in faith, letting them understand the implications of doing or not doing some islamic practices. this most be done in a very humble and respectful manner so as not to lead to friction between you and your parents. Even though they cant practice what you are doing, at least they would have an idea.
still, with your efforts, some parents can be very unyielding. then you have to compromise (in as much as its not haram). like the points you raised about the 3quarter, at least the trouser can be on the ankle and this wont be frowned at by your parents, beards can be trimmed and kept neat which will look presentable etc.
Why most parents go against these things are as a result of some Muslims who go into the extreme trying to practice the sunnah, also some muslims are very lazy and hide under sunnah to dwell in their laziness and dirtiness which makes them repulsive.
The prophet (SAW) said, "verily, the religion(islam) is simple, and whoever tries to make it difficult will only be overwhelmed..." Islam is all about moderation.

error

deols:
Sino- we agree more than we disagree hmmn?

Definitely, maybe...
my shoutout goes to you too(hope its not late sha lol) for giving this section your special muslimah's touch

My shoutout also goes out to all the Muslim faithfuls, who have contributed to this section from day one till now, Walahi, Allah(swt) sees your good deeds, non will be a waste inshAllah and full recompense will be given on the day of accountability.

To the non-Muslims with genuine intention to seek knowledge and know the truth, may Allah guide your quest towards His path amin.
Allah's Rahmah be with us all amin.

Wa ma taofeeqi illabiLLAH

maclatunji: Eid Mubarak to everybody here. Much love.

Loving you right back...for the sake of Allah
A spendid celebration to you bro.

siddiq202: you right...that is what happen to most people

Wizeboy: Ermmmmm, hmmmmm hope its not happenings to you guyzzz oooo

Its true sha...

Guys, it isn't a small matter o
As the saying goes; practice makes perfect...so practice more of public speaking lol

Eidun sa'idun yawmun f'anun
Eidun sa'id, Eidun sa'id#
O Allah, bless us and guide us, accept our deeds, look over our misdeeds during the holy month, make us witness more of this beautiful day for you are the most gracious, most merciful. Amin.
My dear brothers and sisters, have a rahamatized, barakalized and sekinatized celebration!

Chop small small o

deols: being modest is good. being a little shy meeting someone for the first time isnt too bad either. My definition of shyness in this context is the erm errrm part,being lost for words and at some point tugging on to your shirt or clothing and or biting your fingers(never seen that though). You can tell a confident person who's only finding that early, first meeting part a lil difficult.

My fear is just the need to have a man who can rise to various challenges. I doubt that naturally shy people fall into that category.

You know, we can liken talking to a sister with public speaking butterflies in the belly, sweaty palms and a huge lump in your throat and your brain decides to go blank
and your fear is understood...some ladies do love shy guys so much, i guess different strokes for different folks.

bntY: . But if you are already in it, as I always say,”do not disappoint anybody.” It is not Islamic. It is your jahiliyah, you have to pay for it. You have in jahiliyah, met the wrong person; and you have in jahiliyah, agreed to the wrong person. There is no Shariah that will tell you to break the relationship, in as much as he or she still say La ilaha illa llah. The only thing is to correct him or her, because in islam there is no courtship. This is what the sharia says. If you date a woman in Islam- “I want to marry you; I love you. i…this; i….that all these nasty lies that a man tell a woman making her comfortable to divulge some of her secrets to you, teasing her, and at the end of the day you find a better match and you attempt to switch over to your new discovery as if you are on the electricity switchboard, switching from one line to another line, I swear by Allah, it is haram. If anybody has given you the fatwa to abandon a sister for another sister, when that sister has never committed any major crime, it is wrong fatwa. Allah says: “Even as he is now, so were you yourselves before, till Allah conferred on you His Favours.”(Q 4:94). Both of you were in jahiliyah before, and now that you understand, both of you should assist one another, bring her up, bring him up. This is the best thing to do Islamically”

Wat do u mean already in it?marriage? If it's engagement I beg to disagree wt ur submissions o.it's better to have a failed engagement than a failed marriage.If d sis. or bro refuse to see things in ur light,it's better to free urselves while u can.
Who says he or she won't find a partner of d same level.

What is meant by "if you are already in it". to me, the Sheikk is talking about engagement period. Brother, this is the main point we've been discussing, that which has made boyfriend and girlfriend haram, that which has made courtship(generally perceived to mean) haram. Being engaged is more of making a promise and as muslims we must fulfill our promises as long as it doesn't involve haram. During engagement period, you have made up your mind to marry, they've accepted you in her home, you are planning your nikkah alrady. As the sheikh rightly puts it, only a major sin or crime can make you change your mind, not flimsy issue like disagreeing/ refusing to use a particular style of hijab. Allahu 'alam.