₦airaland Forum

good for her!!!

@ Andrew

no traditional Igbo woman stays outside her matrimonial home after cocks have gone to roost.

what happens if they do? any punishments?

[quote author=Mrs. Siena link=topic=401266.msg6253904#msg6253904 date=1277112309]Yes some women are guilty of it. Before I gave birth to the kids my husband was there so why would I want to throw him away when the kids arrive?[/quote]in many instances like in a dysfunctional household, where the woman is being abused or the husband is acting irresponsible i can see the need for her to place her kids as her no1 priority. but it would definitely be a recipe for disaster where such things arent the norm

personally it wouldnt be an easy decision or letgo for the obvious reasons but who am i to object if that is his true calling in life?

i mean there are couples who only have daughters or those who are childless,or those who lost theirs to death what has happened to their family lines?

Never criticize him in public

so true. cause words are definitely very powerful

When you have kids it doesnt matter what your kids does your children are now your husband

Lol. some women are guilty of this. placing their children above their husbands. but i can understand the reason some in certain situations do it

iice:
[color=#9900ff]If she were never born. . .would she know?  Would you know, if she never existed that she was meant to exist? [/color]

no mind am.


every woman should give birth even if they dont want a child because apparently someone gave birth to them. oya women una don hear, no more excuse for not wanting a child

FL Gators:
Sorry for the late reply. My mind justs skips the family sec sometimes lol.
As much as I agree with you, sometimes some parents do try as hard as they can.

Lol. yes some parents do try but i'd say a high% dont even bother. you can imagine those who thinks teaching their kids their native language automatically means they will have 'accents' which they(parents) dont want however, for some reasons when this kids are grown the same parents will be looking for every tom and harry to teach their kids their language and their cultures and some will even be willing to pay

All I know is that I'm gonna gonna join that statistics. I'm even thinking of doing exactly what my aunt does. Have them here, then send them home to complete their education up to the last yr of primary school. Let them spend the 5yrs after here, so they wont have to pay out-of-state tuition [I no be maga] . During the time they'r home, they can come and spend their summer break with us
I loff my aunt's children, they're as Nigerian as they possibly can be, and still they have the rights and freedom as any citizen of USA.

thats good!getting the best of both worlds. the most important imo, is the university edu

either one lol. Would you?

yes i would(?) buthavent gotten the last stamp on it though

[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=463198.msg6243388#msg6243388 date=1276938227] Unless the woman is pulling his legs or lying to hurt him back, how could she meet someone and three weeks later decide to marry him, shuo [/quote]she has some special skills Lol.

no woman should close the door on child bearing

meaning, we dont really have a choice then?

there are many contraceptive that are very effective, ex. like tubal ligation (blocking,tieing or cutting off of the fallopian tubes for her) and vasectomy(cutting/tieing/clamping of the vasa deferentia for you) but before you embark on any of the above make sure you both are very sure of your collective decision because in many instances these are permanent. although reversal surgeries are effective in some cases

some women choose hysterectomy(removal of her entire womb/uterus) this is irreversible, and absolute.  once its removed. its removed


visit a family planning clinic/hospital to discuss your options and know which one best fits you both. and most importantly make sure you both decisions are final and not something you will later regret esp on the hysterectomy one.

if you both are somewhat unsure on whether to permanently close the doors, there are other birth control options that are longer lasting . this include IUD(intrauterine device), some IUD are left there upto 5-10 yrs . there are also other options like Implant and many others

OP


do you have painful urination?

you dont necessarily need to be over heel in love with someone before you marry the person. in other words, love isnt and shouldnt be the only or the reason to get married. marriage involves more important things than love while still not neglecting the importance of love though. love is very gradually thing. i may not love the person at first but after being with person, the love will gradually begin to develop imo, as long as others things are in place. love alone dont and cant sustain a marriage. remember people do fall out of love/fades in marriages and needs rebuilding.

queeneve:
if i dont want to give my husband none for a whole year, i dont have to give him none,

yeah right.

@ OP

so, how have you been coping for a whole 12months without sex ?

anyways, you really have to findout while shes no longer interested in sex. get to the bottom of her reason and dont just accept "am not interested" excuse. do try to be reasonable(i mean calm) in your inquiry cause if you force her, she will push you off and get very defensive. there must be a big reason while she would willingly refuse you sex for a freaking whole year if indeed this is true. like Miss_Ife
said get to know whether her refusal has anything to do with her appearance/hormone cause some women have it worser than others

maedan:
Well, the wrapper is the only difference between the woman and these fashionable White mums who have sarong-ed their kids to their body, so I'm guessing that this is where the OP gets his beef. Just trying to see his own point of view. _{In my own sarcastic little way of course} .

i dont think the wrapper is the issue with the OP. his issue is that african women carrying their babies on the back is living the "monkey way of life". its very back-warded, uncivilized and primitive for african women to be carrying their baby on their back.

supposing the wrapper was the issue, his white women who use fancy wrappers do so because they dont have access to ankara unlike their african counterparts.

and if even both white/african women use african wrapper, OP will still find issue with it. maybe he will claim african women are primitive for doing do so because they use "nigerian wax" while his white women use "hollandis"

Fhemmmy:
I love your advice . . . . Will make sure i apply that
One woman one wahala, 2 wives 100 wahala. . . . . .

Femi, wetin u dey talk?

women are a very peaceful being jare


Posted by: richinfo4u

Do not keep any secrets , tell your husband all your ugly past.

i definitely keep some my secret to myself as long as it doesnt and will not impede the function of the marriage. some secret just arent meant to be shared no matter what

mild soap and warm water

i hope he feels very much better now he has shot them

they need spanking!

what other punishment do you think they need too?

maybe timeout for them when they misbehave?

or taking away from their "toys"?

From couples married for 30+yrs

Harry - married 39 years:

"Harry said that early in their marriage they had a lot of issues (because they were so young) and so they implemented a "Do Not Get Mad Session" once a month. During this session they talked about things that each one did not like about what the other person was saying or doing over the last month. If they started to get mad, they canceled the session and restarted it the next week. Harry says that this type of session allowed them to learn from each other and to recognize things that the other person did not like".
   



Paul - married 38 years:

Paul gave 5 basic principles that are important to a successful marriage (in order of importance.) He says they learned these things from going to counseling and from counseling other couples:

You need God in your family/marriage
Trust each other
Discuss things together (communicate)
Make Compromises - in the areas where they disagree.
Respect each other and the principles of each other whether you agree with them or not!!!



Maxine - married for 41 years:

Maxine says the following things were instrumental to keeping the marriage together:

learned how to share in joys and encourage in disappointments
refer to each other by name
keep the kids out of their personal discussions
family dinner every Sunday
respect each others roles.

@ Ebony to have their primary or secondary education ?

FL Gators:
The ones born and bread in naija, but left at a young age will often try to hold on to their identity; the comfort of differentiating oneself from a pack of group and the comfort of having a place to belong.

The ones born abroad rarely care about their culture. If they even know their culture lol.
A sensitive question for you, Sissy. Would you send your kids home, to be raised in Nigeria? Why or why not?

i think parents of those born/bred aboard who dont have a connection to their cultures are hugely to be blamed for the disconnection there. i believe as parents, one of your roles is to instill/make aware your cultures to your kids esp when they are not born in your country of origin. many kids born OV are very much eager to learn about their culture but if you have parents who find it unnecessary, waste of time etc it sort of leaves them blank. many kids born OV hardly visit nigeria or their villages or attend any nigerian cultural events held OVs. and then you have the few of those born there who dont want any thing to do with nigeria or hers cultures and some are even ashamed to be associated with nigeria or africa for reasons best known to them.

all of the above

no your advice wasnt wise. how can you tell someone "after this while, im not going to marry you. meaning its over, youre not fit for me or future family etc" and you call this prank a  of test love? the heart break she endured nko? after being someone after a while esp someone you possibly tend to marry you should be able to pick up some traits from the person that at least tells you something about him/her directly or indirectly.

this just a very useless secondary school sort of prank not what grown up adults should be playing.

he now have to convince her that this was just a prank he played that he doesnt mean it blah blah and tell her to leave the other guy who has promised to marry her. he has a hard work ahead of him in convincing her.

thats its a secret.

we should have the right to choice for the obvious reasons. its our body,we bear the pains/joy for 9months,the sleepless nights,nagging/worry and responsibility of raising a child and in many cases without help. and not every woman can be a good mother or have the patience required for it or have those emotional attachment people think every woman have or should have for a baby/child. the list is endless


however, your right to choice greatly depends on where(culture) and who(person) you are.

if you live/stay in a culture where its almost a mandate that a woman not only marry but have kids your choice is no longer yours to make or you face the consequences and stigma.

and then the kind of person you are also plays a role in your choice. if you are tough enough to withstand the constant bickering of families, friends etc who will question your choice, tell you how its selfish not to have one, how cute kids are, the joys of motherhood and not having investments(kids)for old age. blah blah etc etc


i think most people esp women were pissed off by by jullians statement not because of her choice not to have kids but what her statement implies about women who do have kids.motherhood doesnt mean lack of shape or lost of ones self. thats a choice(staying in shape or not) many women make, motherhood or single. i personally think her statement were out of line.

skfa1:
mama Gee and Sissy, why una dey punch una self? oya both of you lie down now

me having punches with mg for where?

LOL the dude is just chilling na

25

you have nothing with me agreeing with her but somehow you still managed to find issue in me agreeing with her and querying me on why im thanking her.

babaearly:
he said courtship makes you lose respect in your partner.

how so? this is blah

mama gee abeg carry your "issues" waka front


"all of this men and women saying that women deserve a little beating, when someone seriously beats you up. husband/boyfriend/wife/girlfriend, i hope you stay put and smile, after all you deserved it.

Beating is a cowardly act, there are million and one ways of settling disputes, raising your hand against anyone, man/woman makes you a coward.

I know some women have fire in their mouths, they will insult and push you to the edge, some will go as far as bringing in your parents in it, just so you hit them, but people should learn self control, if someone insults you, wife/gf and you think the only way of getting even or make them shut up and realise what they have done is by beating, it just brings you to their level."

if youre having a heartache b'cause i agreed with the sense she was making here, guess what? i still agree with her even more, so go ahead and have a double heartache. everyone else was on a different note on the issue until you stormed in with your mind boggling "thought"

Sissy is done with you.

so its no longer the act of carrying the baby on the back now but the wrapper used in carrying the baby?

wonders