₦airaland Forum

why should him

well technically the woman is the one who is suppose to greet her husband in the morning due to our culture and also in many instances the age difference.(remember how we are culturally brought up to greet our 'elders'). however, in my case, whoever sees each other first greets

chaircover:
The wife is not in an open relationship, she is cheatimg behind her husbands back. Funny enough, if he found out, he is the type of man to send her packing immediately.

The husband was cheating before they got married and she was warned against marrying him but she was one of these people who thought that after the ring was on the finger, she could change a man who didnt want to change.

The wife is also financialy dependent on the man & has no source of income.

The story just got me thinking about the right and wrong way to deal with this. I am against divorce but the fact that the woman is cheating makes it hard for me to give any constuctive advise. Incidentally she is cheating with a married man with similar qualities to her husband so what good is that?

She has gone down the line of lets beat up the mistress, but how many mistresses do you want to beat up?

so the man stopped the cheating after marriage and the woman picked it up?

@ post

Do you immediately divorce him?

Do you get your own back and start having affairs of your own?

Do you become a nervous, miserable wreck?

Do you pretend that it isn't happening & face the children instead?

i wouldnt do any of the above. i absolutely gain nothing cheating back. it is more pain and emotional emptiness for me. and i will NEVER violate my martial vows. also i wouldnt divorce him immediately, it wouldnt be in my best interest in terms of handling the pain and stress of the process and also handling the pain of the divorce reason neither would i pretend its not happening, 'cause i might have a sudden 'heart attack' one day due to heart heaviness.

i would probably leave the house and find somewhere to stay to personally deal with myself and my emotions. and then its either separation from the marriage or the voluntary leave. during this leave, i would then weigh my options whether to give him a second chance or finally divorce.

[quote author=na2day? link=topic=417201.msg5759491#msg5759491 date=1269451136]u need to stop frowning, the amount of botox i have been buying just for your face is getting out of hand. dont u know we are in a recession? [/quote][size=1pt]checks self in the mirror, sees no finelines or crows feet. breaths a sign of relief [/size] gives him a dirty slap feels even more better

Best: "Dont start something you cant keep up for the rest of your life" 


PF: Everyone is a package deal. There will be some things you love about your partner and other things you really don't like at all.  You can trade your partner in for a new and improved version, and you might like certain aspects of the new person more, but I will guarantee that there will be new shortcomings to deal with as well.

PF : it’s important to remember that happy couples don’t need to have a lot in common, they just need to nurture the little they do have in common.

Best: " couples don't just fall out of love, they simply lack the right tools to stay in love."

chaircover:
@Moderator please where is my post

the spambot is at work. probably thought your post was a spam, so it blocked it. if Tgirl was here, she would have asked Seun to restore it

@ pinklove

you can read Chairs post by going to her last post on her profile

Deep Soul:
I will make hale while you make hearty 



Plan B:
If she feels she'll die without this man, she shld stage a fake pregnancy since they r still obviously doing each other. If the fake pregnancy changes his nasty attitude, she shld then proceed to get a real pregnancy! And they will both live happily ever after, we hope!

if she goes that way, she is probably setting herself up for even more heart break cos this man and his attitude looks like one those who woundlnt give poo about you or the child because he would feel like you trapped him with the pregnancy and would probably exhibit his anger. he'd probably be drinking all night than be home

The last straw happened on sunday when he told my friend to withdraw from an MBA programme she applied for.

why would a man who chased out his wife from his home and told his parents he no longer wants marriage and doesnt want to discuss the issue with his wife, now tell her to withdraw from her program

was her education one of the reasons for the breakup? does he plan to take back if she withdrew?

[quote author=na2day? link=topic=417489.msg5752818#msg5752818 date=1269372952]she is a weekend wife, more like a temp job [/quote]i dont think the man even see her as his wife, more like "date"/gf

[quote author=na2day? link=topic=417201.msg5747886#msg5747886 date=1269323590]i didnt know we had a grandchild [/quote]

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Sissy, thanks alot! Is there a difference from regular twisting?  Coz they look the same to my eye
Hehehe i have a habit of chopping off my hair.  I remember in secondary school.  One summer like that, the heat was killing me, told one of my friends to chop it off to like my jaw line.  My best friend vex for me eh, she was crying why i cut the hair.  When my mom came to visit me, i received some lectures which blah blah. . .didn't faze me.  [/color]

no problem dear.  i dont think theres a difference between them, just the names people assign to them. Lol, you really have enough liver

@ rokiatu

lovely hair you got there!

"You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Lmao!

a grandma like me hardly know where/how to dial my grand daughter. i had to wear specs with the highest magnification the other day just to tell my daughter come and pick me up. 

oldies like myself can hardly keep up all this new teknologies of todays young people. back in my days, we used empty matchese box and walkie talkie to communicate, oh my days! the other day my granddaughter was showing me how to text how i can send message with those small things? i am even talking that i wear double specs just to dial a number and now she wants to totally blind my eyes completely with those rarely there keyboards whatever happened to the good 'ol landlines

my son, dont worry much about my ramblings just that things have really changed since my days. i still prefer the good ol' face to face and the landlines method of communication. P.S no need calling me old and outdated cause i know already i am. i must go now, the landline is ringing, must be my precious granddaughter.

@Sissy,

What's senegalese braids like? With regards to twisting, some people's own last long. . .mine doesn't last as long plus i wash my hair with the extensions so that aids the unraveling process.  Hehehe i remember one time i wanted to do braids up to my chin. . kinda like a bob cut.  I chopped off my hair just to do it lol.  I like doing the bob one coz it's short so doesn't take so long.  Right now though, like you. . .my hair is longer than that, so i will have to do something else till i get tired and chop off the hair.[/color]

LOL chai! you get liver oo i dont have enough liver or kidney to cut my hair just for a hairstyle. even though i sometimes have longer throat for all this sassy short hairstyles and  wish i could just cut my hair and have it but i havent grown enough liver for those sharp scissor! a friend has shorter hair and when she braids it, it takes less time and am like can we exchange hair after the braiding you have urs back

here is a pic of ST. if i find another style i might change my mind

https://evehairbraiding.com/Gallery/Twists%20Micro%20Senegalese.jpg

https://www.aminahairbraiding.com/images/Mariama_1.jpg

https://www.starbraidinggallery.com/kassy%20senegalese%20side.jpg

[img]http://lh4.ggpht.com/_C86od0VS0gA/ScmyZHXyraI/AAAAAAAABNk/akWLL2YpVOY/hair_braiding-_(7).jpg[/img]

https://kinksinc.com/images/gallery/senegalease7.jpg

why would she continue to go out with him on weekends while the man chased her out of his house? if she was so important to him, he would at least tried to mend things since then. see how the man is using her? he doesnt to marry her but still want a date on the weekends.

The fact that he doesn’t want to discuss the issue and told his parents he no longer wants marriage should be reason enough for her to have a plan B.
its either they discuss their situation once and all or no more weekend dates, continue on the date and keep saying hail marys hoping he will change, the man continue enjoying his weekend getaways at the end of the he finds another girl he wants to keep at home and then it will be hail marys for the healing of the broken hearted

your friend better wake up and smell the roses 'cause this man doesnt sound serious. at the end of the day she will be the one feeling the pain.

children in what age range?

chop stick is the keyword

iice:
[color=#9900ff]We be twins? I have the same relationship with my hair. 
Million is the micro ones.  I don't remember the last time i had twists on.  Hmmmm i might do that, hopefully it doesn't unravel after a few weeks.[/color]

Lol. sometimes i see all this list of what people do to their hair and am like they must have really enough time and commitment.  my hair and i, understand that no one have time for each other, so she behaves

nah . . .havent tried it but have about it quite alot. since you said it takes longer hrs to finish its already off my list! 

this will be actually my first time trying twisting, so it unravels that early? i wanted to try the short ones but my length has passed it, so am probably going for senegalese twist hoping it wouldnt take too much time to finish

psychu:
SORRY for the diversion, does anyone have an idea when Catholics celebrate Mother's day in Nigeria?

it was today

agathamari:
sorry to hear this but there are dozens of posts similar to this on this site as well as the other nigerian forums, not that unusual.  my hubby was the same way.  forget the backlash but it was to be expected, your foriegn and the claws come out when a non-nigerian complains about how a nigerian acts.

oh give me a break! the OP is obviously not serious with her question and what exactly was the so called backlash on this thread

jennykadry:
How did you know he is from a wealthy background?

Have you been to nigeria?

How long did you date for?

[quote author=player_007 link=topic=416209.msg5729345#msg5729345 date=1269072367]Abis b4 u married him u guyz went out for how long?y i asked is dat maybe u were so in love with him dat u overlooked his defects thinkin that when u get married to him he will CHANGE.but i will advise u to sit down & hav a chat with him let him know how u feel about what happening in da house.[/quote]

Mudley313:
how old is he and how old are you? (very important quetion)

you call these backlash just to at least provide some more info on her question she could have at least chose some she wanted to answer or is it now a crime to ask someone question inorder to help them rubbish.


[quote author=Busy_body link=topic=416209.msg5738821#msg5738821 date=1269201807]Why are you people pussyfooting round this doofus of the century?

You came here to seek answer to something you said was troubling you re your husband's childish behaviour, the first respondent asked how long you'd known him and how sure you were of his wealthy background AND THE ONLY SARCASTIC CONDESCENDING RESPONSE YOUR TRAILER TRASH POTTY MOUTH COULD COME UP WITH IS "I MARRIED HIM"

Are you high on skunk or outta your anti-psychotic medication? And then you have the nerve to start alleging people must be jobless if they expect you to be online 24/7 to field your queries.
Dumbo, listen here and listen real good, this is a forum like you rightly said, and newsflash it is on the WWW with a population running into billions (HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT WWW MEANS) which your common sense should have told you would mean millions or even billions of people would always be online at any given time, so duh we ain't jobless.

DO you know the meaning of the word backlash which you have been bandying around? Did you just expect people to respond to your concern that "yes he is acting childish" or "no he is not acting childish" without probing a lil bit? Think everyone is like you who don't know what to do with their brain? Think you are the only thread starter here under scrutiny? You must surely think very highly of you and your low mentality.
And did you just say we Nigerians on this forum are overbearing, critical and arrogant like your meddling inlaws who are always telling you what to eat and wear, and your husband is still defending you? You are such a fuckwit, you and your husband deserve each other, misery loves company.[/quote]thank you jare!

abi2008:
jeez this forum is weird - do people not have a life outside their PC? do they have to sit on the PC 24/7 so they can respond in a timely manner i have a baby to take care of and dont have to answer to a bunch of "strangers" GET A LIFE

who really needs to get grab a life here

you asked a question and people actually tried to help you by asking you questions(clarifications) in order to understand/help you more cause you 'strange' thread was too vague and you rudely tell them to get a life

supposing you had one, do you think you would still be here asking 'strange' questions to "bunch of strangers"

jeezzz people and their fowl mouths sef

touchmeder:
lol love this thread
m not married but ive heard some nonsense
worst[b]: a man will be a man let him be. as long as he is feeding you and taking care of the children let him chase the woman outside thats not your business, you have your children to bother about at the end of the day he will still come home.[/b]

sadly thats exactly the way most african marriage are structured.

best: communicate communicate and communicate,

cant stress enough the importance of it. however, most people cant actually differentiate between 'communication and nagging/talking' those are serious two different things when we are talking about true communication in marriage.

most couples nag, talk and nag even more without actually communicating and then when all hell break loose and ask about communication in the marriage you will hear 'i have been talking/talking/complaining etc with him/her but to no avail' without knowing they were actually doing the opposite of what they thought.

daog:
best advice: be submissive in marriage,
patience can settle a lot of things

hehehe. . .that word 'submissive' scare alot of people

worst advice: don't keep shut wen u'r angry

important! cause you might do/say something at the heat of the moment you probably end up regretting

b0y:
what da heck is wrong in watchin po.rn? Please don't give me that shyte! I plan on having more po.rno films in my films shelf than any other film. , Variety is the spice of life naw, All these S.Us on NL sef.Mschew!

BlueDiva:
^^^
Not bad to watch po.rn with your spouse.

hehe different strokes . . . i guess

abeg, b0y no vex oo u hear. nothing do you jare. carry go

yea, the fuzz free about the hair for almost 3-4months makes me to just suck it up. at least thats one more wahala off the list! me and my hair arent exactly the best of friends, our relationship is more "mind your business/love hate" type, hardly have time for her stubbornness and shakara

which one is one in a million? never tried it. probably will try twisting after i take off this one.

submissive ke? dats y i wished u luck

[quote author=trust_me link=topic=401266.msg5727910#msg5727910 date=1269041527]funny: i luv being married. its so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life![/quote]lmao

hispinkolo:
I dunno where to classify this one,
The secret to a happy marriage is to treat him like your boyfriend, and he should treat you like his girlfriend. Go out to dinner and a movie. Watch p *o *r *n together. You know, the stuff that you do when you are dating.”

LOL, nah. . . thats bad. real bad

[quote author=na2day? link=topic=412927.msg5728565#msg5728565 date=1269050665]too late, i have switched to chinese women [/quote]chinese ke? u'r on ur own then. goodluck, cos u will need alots of it

2g4:
Bad Advice: Always welcome your husband in bed with open arms and open legs

LOL

deluxecad:
Yea, you heard me. I love guns and I think [b]any real man should have at least one in his house. [/b]Should he let his wife know? For me, NO! What's your take?

what makes a man 'real' by having a gun in his house

3months but i re-braid the fronts and any other loose ones and use spray. i have heard about the Isopropyl and witch hazel braid cleaning but havent really tried it. the one that i use have many essential oils in it so it helps with the dryness. it also contain anti-itching ingredient and it doesnt cause build-up.


even with two ppl sef, ma own still take long hours that i even pity for those doing it . the last time that i did the individuals that i am carrying now, one of the ladies doing it was like 'chaii your hair is still big oo" and thats like after how many hours of doing it. having a long hair and having full hair is not something i always look forward to braiding.

i guess but those edges. . . .

thank you for letting me in on ur secret cos now they will know