₦airaland Forum

Oshiomole's conclusion is gross and wack. . .this is not about EDO STATE.

And what do you mean about capacity, capacitor or capacitance! Are you saying because some are incapable then nothing should move forward? Or should they kicked out? Let us know and we'll decide!

Oshiomole don begin camp o!

Is this why the discussion was started in the first place? Stick to topic "Removal of petroleum subsidy: In whose Interest?"

Somewhere along the line, Oshiomole picked up. Good points!

It is not about praises or abuses of who is at the helm of affairs but the way forward but can we do so without commending and condemning?  

In my own honest opinion, I think this is the best way forward in Nigeria. When policies or changes are to be made, there should be healthy debates inviting representatives from all part of the sector.

As for Oshiomole, you are beginning to dull the gathering. . .do make you comot oo. Time time time!

Oya Oshiomole, open their yansh and if possible, call names but is there any need since we know many if not all of them.

. . .As soon as you get to Abuja, call Shell and demand for 20 billion US dollars - Femi Falana

If only WE have held our government accountable for every action good or bad to the public view, then we would have been ahead.

Never too late to make a move but the question is WHEN DO WE START THIS FORCEFUL QUESTIONING?

Talk is cheap.

Naija Government are really learning from their Western counterparts. . .and we the masses are crying.

Good one Femi Falana!

Time time time!!!  

Good one Ben Bruce!

BF: Hey sweety, what you doing?

GF: Nutin really. Just tired about to sleep. You?

BF: I'm at the CLUB standing behind YOU.

TEACHER: Atongo, who is the President of IRAQ?

ATONGO: Madam I don't know oh.

TEACHER: You silly boy, concentrate on your studies!

ATONGO: Yes Madam, but please, do you also know Rita?

TEACHER: No I don't.

ATONGO: You too, concentrate on your HUSBAND.

@Stagger,

Your words prompted my response on this issue. If it was an OUT CALL to all witches in the Shiloh 2009, does that mean the young lad from Jos who had sex in his dream was a witch too? If over the years, the powerful name of Jesus has been one known not to be uttered by "powerless forces" and the name weakens knees, how was she able to call herself a "winch for Jesus" and not fall or roll like someone with epilepsy?

People have tagged Jay Jay Okocha a "witch of football" but how many times was he slapped or how many times was he rebuked?

Please do answer these few questions lemme know what exactly you are about since you are a follower of "Man" and not "God".

An eldery patient gets hearing aids from a doctor. After short time, he meets the doctor again. Doctor: "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased." Patient: "Oh, I am in a funny situation now. I haven't told my family yet. I just sit and listen to their conversations. In a month, I've changed my will three times!"

‎2 shediots standing at the museum, looking at an EGYPTIAN mummy with '1227 BC' written below it.

1^st Girl: What does that mean?!

2^nd Girl: It must be his BB pin.

It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade class.
The teacher said: "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. 'Who said: 'Give me Liberty or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki's. "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good! Who said: ', government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth'?" Again, no response, except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped: "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Japs." "Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki raised his hand: "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point a student said: "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked: "All right! Who said that?" Suzuki says: "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Furious, another student yells: "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Suzuki jumps up waving his hand and shouts: "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
At this, the teacher fainted. The class gathered around her. One of the kids says: "Oh s**t, we're in BIG trouble!" Suzuki says: "Arthur Andersen, 2002."

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* His last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* At the bottom of the page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* Liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* Marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* Exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand,

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand,what would you have ?
* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Concrete floors are very hard to crack

Did he really deserve 0% after all?

Please pardon my earlier mistake "ekt-bear".

I editted my ealier post to reflect "NAIRA" not "KOBO" which I initially place. Please take note.
Just expect tarrif from IPPs to be in the amount of 15 - 30 Naira per KWH. (But with this subsidy removal, we all know everything in Naija will sky rocket)

Charmer:::: Hello Sweet Girl

Sweetgal:::: Hi Lover Boy!

Charmer:::: Can I know you more please?

Sweetgal:::: 17, female, sweet lips, bo[b]ot[/b]ylicious and Delicious, in Port Harcourt and you?

Charmer:::: Mmmmmh, I am in love already. I’m 52, male, 6 pack, big Chest, Port Harcourt.

Sweetgal:::: You're 52? OMG! Serious . Same age as my dad.

Charmer:::: I’m just so into fresh young beautiful girls.

Sweetgal:::: Do you have a wife?

Charmer:::: Yes, but not as sexy as you, I have a daughter, she is in her bedroom with her friend doing homework.

Sweetgal:::: Then why do you like young girls?

Charmer:::: I love them because they are beautiful not to mention sexy and with fresh b[b]oo[/b]bs and b[b]oo[/b]ty

Sweetgal:::: I am also into older men with iPhones, ipads, cash and driving expensive cars.

Charmer:::: I can offer all of that and even more.

Sweetgal:::: I think we should meet because you are in Port harcourt and I am also here.

Charmer:::: That would be nice, where do I pick you up tomorrow with my new G-guard sexy girl?

Sweetgal:::: Tomorrow I am going to school it won’t be possible.

Charmer:::: Or maybe over the weekend, going to school is very important.

Sweetgal:::: While still chatting let me continue with my homework I don’t want my dad to know that i have a BB, he will be mad at me.

Charmer:::: Which homework is that? maybe I can assist you.

Sweetgal:::: It's a Biology assignment and my friend Lucy is assisting me

Charmer:::: Hey, your friend’s name is Lucy?

Sweetgal:::: Yes.

Charmer:::: Exactly where in Port Harcourt are you?

Sweetgal:::: Woji and you?

Charmer:::: Mercy!!! is that you

Sweetgal:::: Dad, is that you

See my people o.
Abeg make una continue to dey enjoy and laugh away the harmattan for una faces but nor crack una dried cheeks sha

ekt_bear:
^-- If the FG is setting the price at which these IPPs can sell electricity, then the IPPs will (mostly) fail.

Unfortunate

Do you realise that presently PHCN which is owned by the FG is charging between 40 - 60 Naira per KWH? The FG is not setting the prices, NO! Instead they have brought these IPPs and will be providing constant power for lesser amount per KWH than that of the PHCN at the moment. The good thing about this IPP is that like the telecommunication competition ongoing and with further investors to come in, things are bound to get cheaper.

The major action of the FG will be continual regulation of activities via the office of NERC just as the MMF (Meter Maintenance Fee) was removed from the present metering fees when Electricity Consumers Association of Nigeria (ECAN) brought this matter to the fore.

There's no reason for fear and trust me when I say there will be NO LOSS recorded as far as the customers continually patronise the IPPs.

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story listened to her prayer which she ended by saying: 'God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa.'The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye grandpa?' The little girl said, 'I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to say.' The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: 'God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and Good-bye Grandma.'The next day the grandmother died. 'Oh my gosh' thought the father, 'this kid is in contact with the other side.'
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: 'God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.' He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife asked, 'I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?' He said, 'I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.' She replied, 'you think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the gardener dropped dead in our backyard while I was watching!

ekt_bear:
@efisher: Any idea about whether the states must also sell the electricity they distribute at FG set prices, or at prices they set themselves?

Someone here asked how Ekiti was going to get electricity. Well, this Obajana cement plant nearby in Kogi State obviously uses lots of electricity.

So that you distribute power only requires you to find someone selling it. . . isn't strictly necessary to enter both businesses.

To answer your pressing question and that of others in terms of the amount whether it be the FG set prices, it will interest you to know that once these IPPs have been implemented, the tariff will be almost half the price of the present FG set prices per KWH. Yes, the FG will still have a say on the IPPs through the action of NERC however for every State Power Plant commissioned, you're certain that after the total phase implementation, the power will be able to meet the demands of the State and also neighbouring states.

Generating is somewhat the problem, not the distribution because Nigeria as it is presently is a ready market for the purchase of generated power. The rest na feasibility. . .

@Efisher. . .I believe you may have some connections to the Presidency or the power sector but please, do NOT and I mean do NOT take credit for something you met on the table already. People have been doing this IPPs long before 2008 and here you are talking about bringing it to the fore in 2009 thereabout.
Keep doing what you do and indeed Nigeria will serve her people right.

Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter.
Son: Then ok
Dad goes to Bill Gates
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Then ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank,
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No!
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President:Then ok!
This is BUSINESS

Thanks Efe and Mikuz, I see you!

A nun with large boobs enters a bus. She is wearing a rosary around her neck and the guy siting beside her can't stop staring at her. Realizing that he had been staring for over ten minutes, the nun, touching the rosary asks him, 'are you looking at Jesus Christ who was crucified on the cross?' The guy replies 'no, I'm looking at the two thieves crucified beside him'.

Noticing a late a crowd gathering at an accident scene, a nosey journalist cooked a trick in order to get the story first. "Make way, Make way! I am the victim's son" he screamed as he rushed to force his way in. Slowly the crowd paved way for him to pass, But on getting the centre, lying lifeless in front of the car was a goat.

A lady went to see her doctor to complain that her husband's p[i]en[/i]is is unbearably long. She said "whenever he inserts it in me, it's so long that it touches my heart". The doctor thought about it for some time and said: Ok, bring him. I'll help operate it and make it smaller. But the lady screamed "Nooooooh! For what nah? Abeg, What I want is for you to shift my heart up a little."

Boy called an FM radio station and said,
BOY: I have found a lost purse with $100,000, a Mastercard and I.D of one Mr. Ifeanyi Arato of Plot 4, Park View Estate, Ikoyi.
PRESENTER: How honest you are boy. So do you want to return the purse?
BOY: No! I just want to dedicate a song to him. . .MY HELPER OOOOO. . .MY HELPER. . .

You're in the midst of people clad only in your towel ready to have a bath. Then you deem it proper to play with a baby by throwing him/her in the air and catching mid-air too. You do this continually and on the fourth throw of the baby in the air, your towel suddenly goes loose (in the midst of people).

(I can't stop laughing while typing this abeg). What will you do at this point? (Quick reaction!)

Your grandpa is on his death bed in a hospital and asks that you move closer because he has something important to share with you and it goes thus;

Grandpa: My child, I have lived long enough to see you and I thank God for this opportunity (coughs) but as you are aware, my journey ends here.
You: Grandpa! (with a straight face and no other word uttered)
Grandpa: (talking very slow) Just before I de, depart to the world beyond, I, I, I want you to know (pauses) something ve, very important.
You: I'm listening grandpa (now impatient)
Grandpa: (talking slowly again and more in pain) I have reserved in cash for you $20 million USD (coughs again), (you then interupt)
You: Grandpa; please take it easy that you may speak with ease (impatient once again)
Grandpa: (slower than ever), Take care of yourself and make good use of it. The money is (coughs), The money is (coughs again uncontrollably), is (and suddenly, he gives up!)



NOW WHAT WILL YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION? WHAT WILL BE YOUR REACTION/EXPRESSION?

Express your drama in writing

A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween party by a family friend, in which all attendees were required to wear a mask. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone, and to make sure to say hello to her family. He, being a devoted husband, protested, butshe argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided to go to the party.As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband tosee how he acted when she wasnot with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went upto him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour.
She was sitting up reading whenhe came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill, Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening."
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
"Actually, I gave my costume to your brother, apparently he had the time of his life.

Three ladies were having their bath in the same bathroom when suddenly the wind blew away the cloth they used in covering the door. Unfortunately for them, a guy walked passed the bathroom. The 1^st lady used her hand to cover her va[i]gi[/i]na. The 2^nd used her hand to cover her br[i]ea[/i]sts while the 3^rd lady used her hand to cover her face.