₦airaland Forum

OP
Please can you help me answer this question quickly.

Why did you create this post if you knew you wanted to kill yourself !!!!

Wether we like it or not we would all bear the consequences of our actions.

So if you still have the mind to kill yourself untimely,
Remember this last moments and don't forget how strangers tried to convince you otherwise

Remember how busy people used their time to try and offer you love and support.

Remember, what you've said to people here.
Remember it all, because everything would be used for and against you appropriately..


May the good Lord grant you mercy and consolation in all your tribulations..

May you be comforted and help.

I pray, the glory of God would manifest in your life today..

Thank You Jesus .
Amen.

When you friend said support her, what does he mean ?
OP God has already showed you since that she was going to leave you, so why are trying to still be around her


Reduce communication to it's minimum
and Focus on yourself bro.
You're the one that clearly needs support, her husband would love and bleep her in ways you can't imagine
Stop worrying bout her, she would be fine. Na guilty conscience dey worry am.

And yes you're correct, marriage and child birthing Is a womans greatest achievement.

Every other thing na wash

Lmao. She went back to him, maybe she feels she can talk sense to him and he would change

Girls Sha love toxic guys

Cowbell521:
U give ur girlfriend transport fare make E go Bleep another man for another state? U dey give Olosho money 2 go meet her customer? And u still dey talk love?

Na ur mama I pity

You don talk everything finish

OP do whatever you like, Dem Sha don give you advice

OP
Run as fast as you can !!

Avoid under 23 girls at all costs

In the future she would appreciate it.
If you must talk to her, let it be how was school, how is mummy , how is daddy.

I personally don't like young ladies
Especially under 23

They're just not mentally there, . they can drive you crazy

Omooooo
The Quote weak me

And with all the gist from married men on this forum , marriage is not looking attractive at all .
Woman no go kill us oh

artimisfowler:
What’s the point of this your post. I didn’t read it all but it’s immature, you’re coming out here to boost of how you spent men’s money with a girl? Lol sounds like what I would say back in sec sch like 25 yrs ago, but again I guess you’re may be a kid.

Talking alot of rubbish as if you’re the only boy who have ever had a girl, bro…we’ve all been there, even as you’re talking this nonsense someone maybe doing the same to your mum and sisters (if you have), but I guess you’re going to throw insults at me as a child that you are.

Well, my best advice for you now is to think beyond women’s butt and boobs, think deeper about the true meaning of life, think of why you’re still alive and it’s aim. I don’t know the roots of your belief but I’m a Christian and the bible says a young man who whores after women sins against his own soul, I’m not sure you understand the gravity of that if you have ever read Proverbs, sexual pleasure as an unmarried boy is classified as the greatest FOOLISHNESS, the kind that leads to your death and destiny termination and most notably HELL.

Have you even ever asked yourself, with all this my “fine boyship” or whatever attracts girls to me (I don’t care), what if they are taking virtue away from me, what if they are “agents from the other side” sent to destroy a destiny, these ladies are trained in the water to drain a man or slay his soul without attracting attention (do you know the real connotation of the slang “slay queen”?) they will make you feel super, bow to you, lick your butt, give other men’s money to you and they are extremely intelligent and patient, that it only takes the Holy Spirit to defeat them. Hope you get the picture? I don’t how deep your Christian life is, or how vast you read but let me not go far in this things. I only pray that you discover yourself and find God while he may yet be found, take it from an “ex chairman of fine boys association”.

You're right sir.

These hoes are out to hold a nigga back.

Every smart young man should flee from fornication.
That shit brings badluck and delay.

OP

Someone has said it up there.
You realize you've set yourself back.

Have felt that way couple times, and I don't ever want to feel like that .
That feeling just makes me ghost the lady till she hates me .

You just know you've messed up and you might unconsciously be blaming the lady for making you do it.


My advice, quit pre marital sex and repent.

May God help us all.

Ok, so what do you expect from us !!!
Words of encouragement or what

It used to be nairaland but now comments are more annoying than funny.

Still searching.
When I see, I go update you

God Bless you OP

vikgreen01:
In as much as I wanted to say if she come back accept her and enjoy free meal but I don’t want to teach u bad thing

Thank you Sir.

Heaven Is the goal o, no be woman love

kenzysmith:
bros I feel depress now have done my best am suffering emotionally is like am in a bondage. Heavens knows am fighting this battle with all my heart u can't find pornography in my phone as u said it just happen and control me like a dummy . as am typing this now in my heart am feeling yesterday is d last day but I know that I will still back slide again but am determine this time around

Sorry Bro
Don't feel defeated, don't hate yourself.
It's not over until it's over.
You need a change in your life
You need to regain control over your life
The only proven solution I know, is to become repentant and submit to Jesus

You need to realize that you can't defeat an addiction just by yourself !!!
You need to involve God and, a group of supportive people that can help.


If you repeat your normal daily routines and habits , in no time you would end up back in that joint.
You need to start making serious changes in your life, start little but be very intentional.

Whenever you backslide, do something you don't do always.
For example, as you have backslided, you can make it up by doing overnight in a Church that day.

You don't have to do anything, just go out of your comfort zone and speak to yourself.

If you can't do it, tell yourself anytime I go to that place, to make up for my wrong, I will

(Do something that takes courage and is a good thing that would benefit other )


OP you need to repent and confess
You need to forgive yourself always and ask God for his mercy.

You need to evaluate your values and core thinking and know which mindset you need to drop
(It could be there's nothing wrong with premarital sex ) ( it could be once have set my mind to do something, I must do it )
(It could be that no one loves or cares for you enough to meet your needs )
(It could be, no one cares or values you enough to want to be around you )
(It could be, I can't be forgiven, I can only be punished for my mistakes )
All the above statements are lies

We all have some faulty mindset we hold on to , that daily ruins our decision making which eventually ruins our life.


OP you need to first be intentional on not just living your life for yourself but for God and For family.

You need to stop thinking your actions doesn't affect anyone but yourself

You need to accept your mistakes, forgive yourself and become better.

I pray you find the grace and courage to live a better life

Amen

This one doesn't even know how women acts .

Don't fall for their games .

Dey ignore them dey go.
Build a strong career , get money.

Women are never really attracted to a man ,it's mostly his status, his office,his power, his fame , his money


There must be something that she doesn't easily find in most guys that you must posses.

The easiest way to get a girl, is never to pursue them, just flex your power and whenever they see it, like magnet , they would find and gum body .


OP no dey reason woman matte

mosdii:
Nigerian Girls Are Useless...All Of Them

Great one , we done miss you o
Welcome back !!
To the OP
I'm an introvert and I don't think your relationship with them would ever be how they imagined
As an introvert am not even close to all my family members, neighbors or, church members o
It's not easy to just build a great rapport with someone Especially when we have nothing in common .
I understand the frustration on your part, because you've tried

But this your best friend should know you better, you can't do much about this.
The only thing you can do about this , is to add more effort.
If I were you, I would call the siblings and ask how they think we can improve our friendship.
Do they want you to visit once a month, or must you become best friends

You need the know their expectations so it doesn't make them look ungrateful when you do all things they don't expect of you but the one they expect, you never do.
Obviously that's their family core value,
Give him time, improve your communication
But don't be afraid, because you haven't done anything wrong .
Both of you can't keep going like this
You would either make up or decide to part.
Regardless of the outcome, you'd be fine

ersonleads:
she's already tasting freedom @ school. She's in 400level.This makes me have confident she knows what she wants

It's a private University bah

OP why are you talking like a SIMP !!!

She by now knows how important hygiene is to you !
But she still does it.

You've spoken to her like an adult yet still does what she want.

If I were you, the next time she enters to use the restroom, i would lock the door

She would bang and scream sef, then I will ask her have you flushed the toilet

Let her smell her shit and her piss for a good amount of time.

Maybe sense would enter her head .

If you're too SIMPle for that,

Stop inviting her to your house !!


If you have the mind sef, tell her poor hygiene is a deal breaker for you and you guys would just have to go back to being friends, so she won't have to be coming to your house .

Maybe another babe who values good hygiene would now be coming.


OP you've spoken too much to this babe, take action and stop fearing the consequences

So you guys are going to wait for 3 years !!!!!!

OP if you feel you can wait till then to marry , that's on you


But it's always better to do what needs to be done As soon as possible.

In the next 3 years you dont know how things would be

She might fall in love with someone else

You might not even have that job again (God forbid )

She may get belle for another man before then,
Like 1 million and one nonsense can happen.


See ehn all these young girls still believe in Hollywood love, and these ladies make decisions based on emotions , so you can't trust a woman's advice especially when it's tied with emotions.

OP na express you dey go o


Change is constant !!!! It's the only thing we are sure of .

I'm sure the lady hasn't tasted freedom a bit , very soon she would want to explore !!
Her hoe phase is still coming

OP think this thing well, if you want to get married asap , find a woman that's ready !!!!

You can't take a girl's word seriously !!!
They keep saying different things.


My advice, tell her you can't promise to wait till she's 22, but for now let's see how things are going

Keep your options open
That girl never see anything, once her eye tear you may not even like her person again



OP na your life o, put yourself first !!.
Lead a woman, she can't lead you o

It's all about perspective !!

Yes it's either bondage or long suffering
It's either regrets or gratitude
It's either a mistake or a wise decision
It's either you love your spouse or you don't
It's either your spouse loves you or he/she doesn't


Now marriage can be a bondage or a happy union

It all depends on the individual.
Remember in the Church , a lot of vows are made, the couples are asked in the presence of everyone if they want to go ahead.


It's all about choice,
How did you choose your spouse
Why , etc

Your marriage is in your hands, it would be whatever you want it to be

Meektunz:
hmmm, i'm caught in the middle of this. I wisi never borrowed her phone in the first place.

Courage !!!

Man Up !!!!

Imagine she was your little neice !!!

As long as you're doing the right thing, there's no need to be scared.
Face your fears and overcome.

OP do something good.

You may not be a saint, but now you have the power to do something good.


Fvck your Job, that girl mental health is way more important than the job.
Go into serious prayer before you report to the authorities tho

Ask God to give you wisdom , so you can carry out your plan to rescue the girl from those monsters.

Pray about it, and when God has listened to it all and surely given you the go ahead.

Then please do it,
Yes you're expected to lose your job but believe me, God always make provisions


If you keep quiet and look away, you would also be guilty
Before God and also before man

Because someone can accuse you of watching the girls video for pleasure, that's why you collected it.


Bro you're already in the mess, fight your way out.

Don't act like a biatch and watch doing nothin
Take action

To be honest with you.

You are aware you created this whole mess, because if you've distanced yourself from him all this nonsense wouldn't happen.

And are you sure you truly love this man you want to get married to

Because most times when a person Is receiving unconditional love from another person they're not dating, they reciprocate that love to the person they're actually dating not the one showing them that Love

Because your mind is wired to be loyal to your boyfriend and he's the one you should submit too



Now about this guy , I hope your fiance is aware of this situationship or else your problem is just starting.


Whatever you do, and whatever the outcome would be it would be on your head.


This so called married man feels betrayed already, nothing can even change that. And he's angry at himself not even you..



I won't advise you on anything , my major concern is that do you really love your fiance.

Because if you did , this your closeness to this other guy won't ever get this far.

The moment you got into a relationship you were supposed to reduce everything and destroy all hopes .


The deed as been done Sha.

I'm really concerned for your fiance
If you truly love him , I expect you to share this issue with him

Since you can trust him and you're going to be commiting your future to him , then go ahead and tell him.

He would know what to do.

That your married friend is hurting now and he deserves it , I'm sure if his wife had a friend like you he wouldn't be happy about it..

My dear focus on your future, make peace with the past and forge ahead

I started my fight against addiction this year.

I failed miserably but I never stopped trying

But now things are alot a better with me.

Once in a while I go into relapse but it's never for an hour sef.

I kick myself out .

I totally relate to the loneliness ,


My advice, is you need to change yourself.
You need a strong support of love

Go back to who you were before the whole nonsense happened

That innocent person in secondary school.

Use your alone time to get to know yourself, your wants and needs.
Self love and a loving environment is the key to destroying Addiction


You need to be more open and communicative with people

You need to start doing those foolish things you used to enjoy without shame

You need to love yourself the way you wished others loved you.

Most importantly you to surrender to a higher power and redidcate your life to a purpose that is inspired by love and passion

You need to recreate your identity and be the person you want to.
The day you would know you're free from an Addiction is when you start realizing the patterns and how you have better options.

Just because you're sad doesn't mean you have to do this
Just because you feel lonely doesn't mean you have to this, you can do this or this or that


You need to remember that you have options.


On my journey, someone shared a book to me on addiction
Which was the game changer in my struggle


Reading the book would make you cry but it would also set you free


If you don't mind I could share


There's so much I want to say, but then it's only you that can help you
All the best

OP

You don't owe that lady marriage !!
Don't let anyone guilt trip you !!!

How do we know that lady even loves the OP ,
I can bet my balls she's just desperate to settle down and doing everything to win him to marry her.

If you haven't met a desperate lady who has hit the wall ,
You won't understand how this ladies would immediately become born again, become very supportive (especially financially) , very loving. They would automatically become wife material

OP if you're a SIMP I expect you to give in and accept you have to marry her as appreciation for all her good works.

Don't marry someone you can't fully accept, before you come here again begging for advise.

OP you're just entering your peak as a man, please go for the best woman you can find



End this relationship immediately if you know you can't marry her
Ask for her forgiveness and move on


Ultimately follow your guts , it can never mislead you

You're over thinking.

Love isn't comfortable, to love is to live life outside your comfort zone
The stakes are high
That's why when it's good, it feels great and when it's normal it feels bad.

My advice, continue with her.

Don't project your fears and insecurities on her
Hangout normally, redefine your boundaries with her. ( Remember she's just your babe not your wife. Simply put it's just your turn not your own )
Only when you marry her, she'd become yours

Don't worry about her or other guys that want her.
Reprioritize your life and don't let that relationship sabotage you
Focus on growth !!!!

Congratulations on your bold step to Better your life.

You need go understand addiction is very powerful and it never really goes

For you to change habits you have to change your mindset

So that your subconscious would only bring to your conscious habits that would make your life better..

One tip I can advise you.


Whenever you get the urge to buy pepsi just say no out loud
Don't think to much just shout out no

That thought would go very silent.

If you ever feel the urge too much,
Buy the Pepsi, but immediately you open it empty the content in the sink or gutter and fill the container with water.

And drink from that bottle


When you pour Pepsi in the gutter 10 times

You would realize you don't need the Pepsi and you don't have to waste such money convincing yourself.


But first you need to convince your mind that buying Pepsi is a waste of money.

And that simple trick I shared up there, would teach your brain that lesson .


I wish you all the best.

On a final note, always talk about your struggels.

Ask people to join your no soda challenge for let's say 5 days first.


Let people know you're going through the addiction.


You can't defeat addiction in isolation, you need help from others.

That's why this post is a step in the right direction

All the best, can't wait to hear your testimony

This forum is so judgemental and hypocritical

Nobody one drop gist .
Simps dey fear RedPillers go come for them
RedPillers dey fear say their matter go cast and they go lose respect
Liability Ladies no wan spoil market for their mumu nairaland clients

Shame no go gree make one person misyarn


Sha no suffer in silence, bring your gist here, we go laff you but we go still advise you.


Haven't been In such relationships tho, I'm quite stingy when it comes to giving ladies , I have many teeeii lessons.

My friend in school then told me it's better a lady calls you stingy than she calls you maga

It's better to be wicked than than to be stupid.

I took that advise very seriously and it has costs me so many draining relationships.

May her soul rest in peace and may justice prevail.

Anybody that fails to walk away from something evil and threatening

Be it ,an Addiction, a toxic relationship, bad friends or bad business/work

That person would eventually suffer from that association, no matter how innocent such person may be..

Don't let fools ruin your life


I hope someone heard me

Damn Nigga
Na cruise o

I like that damn nigga guy

Most young women are on this table.

Have had my fair share of verbal and emotional abuse from ladies and the most painful part of this is that the lady with the anger, the abuse and the threats just get public sympathy, and consolation while you that received the whole thing is asked to keep quiet and walk away.

The last time it happened to me, I was in shock when a matured man in is 40's went to to console the lady after she had cursed , abused and threatened me while I was standing alone wondering what I had done or said that brought such.
Even the ladies around, said I should leave her that she's angry and sort.

I for one can't stand a lady raising her voice at me or trying to open eye for me

I'll immediately change it for her and put her back in her place

But that day , it was at work
And when you know you work in a feminist environment where all the managers are ladies then you know it's better to even apologize for all the wrongs any lady do to you there.


This verbal abuse is more dangerous than we like to think, it has destroyed many men

Be wise, follow woman wey dey fear God, woman that respect men.

Leave those daughters of jezebels o

arthurwillia:
Thanks brother
Though I’m down now even to pray is problem because of the disappointment but then I’m trying to recuperate
I’m reading through life of Joseph also

Time heals all wounds

You would be fine
God didn't abandon you
Stay strong