₦airaland Forum

I would cross over in Church.

After that would begin my first person I hugged, first person I kissed.

I go compelete all those things before the ending of tomorrow.


I have a list that I must tick finish

Bros OP whyyyyyyyyy

Why you too dey lie like dis,
So your profile pic is your real face

This guy na my secondary school mate o
Back then.
Na Mr romantic Sha , you people shouldn't blame the young man

If your cousin want to marry her and she agrees, please allow them.
If not, you go ahead and marry her.

Yes, she would turn to your family member but be thanking God you've not bleeped her .

Go and find another woman to love, if possible also see the new one unclothedness so that you can forget about your cousin's wife .



Which kain bad belle you be,
Very selfish sombori.

Thanks for sharing OP.

Been too broke to be dating, this year I avoided relationship like it was covid.

I served breakfast and also ate one.


I had an entanglement with a narcissist, we started off as friends.

This babe walked up to me and flirted with me, I was impressed with her confidence and all.

We got talking, she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship, I gave her space and tried to move on.

But she started chatting with me everyday, like from 7pm go 1am

We call over nights


I said to myself, this babe Is definitely single, she can't be giving me this quality time and also be with someone else.


To cut the long story short, she still travelled to another state to go and meet the ex she told me she hated.

It began to fill like a rebound relationship, I felt she was thinking I was in competition with her Ex.


One day I just told her I never wanted to hear anything bout her Ex anymore.
Like I straight up don't give a Bleep.
Anything they want to do , let them do
I'll be fine regardless.


That was when I got my freedom back,
She still calls and chat me up but honestly I don't see her the same way I used to see her.
She's also the promise and fail type.

What kind of person would tell you they'd do something for you ( you never asked ) but never does it.


She has a lot of baggage and bullshit and honestly I can't deal with all that..
That's the closest to breakfast I ever got.

Is this a recycled post !!
I know have read this exact write up here on nairaland .
From the first paragraph I already knew the whole thing, because my mind has seen this before.

Well, you said the truth, I don't have issues with musician's being proud of their cults and all

Ordinary corporate organization, should have no business with cultism
But unfortunately na so we see am.


God would definitely make a way

I realized this thing OP said this year.
I felt so heart broken but I got to understand that's just the female nature for you.

Even in the Holy Book, Christ Instructed Men to love their wives and wives should respect their husband.

Jesus never said the wife should love the husband why ?

I personally feel men have the full capacity to love but women don't really love.
They don't even have the depth to love .
Just look at female friendship for instance

You'd understand that they're just superficial and emotional which is not equivalent to being loving or good.

You may hate the OP for telling you the truth, but it's good you hear it at least once in your life.

No one preached this to me, I sat and asked myself why do females just act a certain way..

Mother's would always love their children because they can never swap children or claim another's child.
They're stuck with the one they birthed , so loving their child is like loving themselves.
Their children must dress fine so people won't laugh at her etc.

Women are not evil you just have to understand their nature.
Or else you'd fall like adam and Samson.
Let me stop here..

Wow.

Sorry bout your ordeal.
Thank God you didn't find out in marriage,
That would have been devastating.

Gay people won't tell you the truth, you'd have to see the signs and flee.

You see Nollywood, na where gay people full.
Lesbianism is a normal thing in that industry.
God would help us.

Share your story first.
You need healing not vengeance, just let it all out

It seems to me you're not taking yourself serious.

Everyone above have offered the best advice,
Yet you're still asking she's coming to your place what should you do ?

If you're using us to catch cruise , e no go better for you
But if you're serious, then you're an advanced simp

You don't deserve advice

OP
If you want to be free,
Drop your pride and ego and confess all what you shared here to parents or spiritual leader.
Depends on who you trust more.
Here's a faceless forum, it's easy to open up, but when your identity and reputation is on the line, it would take serious balls to practically seek that help.

Unfortunately overthinking no fit solve problem,
Plenty talk no dey full basket.

If you can pray , then pray like your life depends on it.
God is faithful he would hear you and help you in the way he pleases.

All the best.
Perish all sexual thoughts and desires !

I would be praying for you

Iyaebe:
See the type of man I'm talking about, can't all men be like this? If he was a redpiller he wouldn't have gone this far in life,women are behind the success of all men,no man has ever succeeded without a woman solidly behind him.To those men who still have their brains functioning well,please shun redpill if you want to be successful or embrace redpill and become miserable and wretched for the rest of your life,the choice is solely yours.Before anyone reply nonsense, please mention one local government chairman or councillor that's a redpiller.Women are spiritual and highly favoured by God, if your woman is truly happy with you then be rest assured that you'll break limits provided you work hard.Make your woman unhappy and watch your life experience one misery or another, this is a bitter truth.

Must you expose how shallow your mind is !
Don't unsuccessful men have wives !
Are the women not behind their failures ?
Don jazzy that is divorced , why is he still successful
Are you the woman behind him ?

Please don't be unfortunate in your reasoning
Celebrate people and give them their credit.
Bill gate is currently divorced, based on your theory he's supposed to become unsuccessful because there's no woman behind him bah.

The reason you would always hear or find a woman behind a successful man is because women would always fight to stand behind a successful man.

And men being benevolent as we are, we would pick the one we like and stick with her as long as she's not misbehaving.

You iyaebe , would you date a broke guy till he becomes successful.
Lol, I doubt it .
But when a ready made guy comes, your gender would fight dirty just to have him.

Then when they appear in public we would not stop hearing behind a successful man is a woman.

Nonsense !
Remember that poor men also have women behind them.

proxillin:
I guess you know about her condition? How grave is it?
I like this babe no be small

Trying to understand the whole nonsense is where your problem would begin.

But as of now, you're safe, just jejely free the babe and move on.

Your feelings won't change her predicament , If you love yourself the way you love her, then you should let her go.
I'm not a cele member or do I know the implications of what would happen

But this here is a massive red flag and since you're already scared
It means your mind no carry the thing , but you're still trying to find consolation or direction to still follow her.
Let me rephrase, your feelings don't mean shit in the big picture !!
Doesn't matter what you feel, if your mind no carry am, just free the babe and move.
You can love her without dating her

If you love your life, just run from her and never look back.

Thank God for the break up and focus on yourself

Avoid soda !!!!
Quit Pepsi, coke and the likes.
When I quit indomie, I noticed it really helped
Monitor and regulate the time you spend on mental simulation.

By these I mean, phone, laptop and Tv .

Practice sitting still and reading a book.

How often do you work out
Do you have healthy relationships with people.


Honestly life is more than just making money and paying bills.

Wellness of body and mind isn't spoken well enough of.
Dear Op you're not alone
You would get through this !!

Try to read something daily.

I mean read something inspiring, something hopeful, something lovely.

If you check online, everywhere is filled with terrible news, negativity has taken over the Internet.

Protect your mental space and reduce informations that don't help you.


In all these, recognize your triggers,
Is it emotional or it's physical.
Know yourself so as to help yourself.

I wish you a peaceful evening

As you've shared your story here, we are judging you based on our individual principles, morals, experiences and wisdom.

But remember that it's God that would eventually judge you..

So in making important decisions, always try to seek God's wisdom and his laws
They're far more helpful than the human reasoning.
I don't have advice for you on the matter, but remember that karma must balance out itself.

All the best

You see red flags you still dey ask for advice.
Sometimes you need to train your heart to accept what the mind already knows.

Mr OP that her anger issue would only get worse as she gets older

Unless she intentionally seek help and improve her attitude.

I hate hearing just because no one is perfect , you must then manage nonsense in a relationship.

Adults take responsibility for their actions and would always compromise to make things better.

If op should continue the relationship regardless of her anger issues, then she would need to change her personality to one that op would enjoy.


If op was the one with anger issues and he constantly abused her,

People won't be advising the lady to continue, they would ask her to run for her life.

This life Sha , if you don't use wisdom , people would give you a terrible advice that sounds so good.

OP the ball is in your court.
Have that difficult conversation with her today and let her know your stand.
If she can't change of work on herself, then just break up and remain friends.
While you look for someone that anger isn't her imperfections.


Do you think you can have a peaceful home with an easily angered person .

You must be jonzing

People that don't think well just full this forum.
Mr OP is saying the father of the child is being sidelined and not having a say in the decision of his own child , and people are saying because the man is broke he doesn't deserve to be the father of his child.
Like his fatherly role is now invalid because he's broke.


So if this man decides to walk away and start life with another woman.
It's this same family and nairaland people that would say he's a dead beat father, and he walked away from his child when he needed him.
Because there's money , everyone automatically wants to take charge ..

Mr OP you're a good man and please be a witness to the truth and speak for the boy , since he has no one.

God is watching and would repay everyone accordingly at the appointed time.

When you talk about helping, honestly the best help you can offer is already what you're doing..

Always speak wisdom into the boy's head.
Don't let his spirit become crushed or defeated.
Even if the girls family stops him from having Access to his own child
Let him not walk away until the child has been discharged and is doing fine.



I'm so curious as to what would happen in the future as it regards the lady , her family and this man.


If I were him, I wouldn't marry her or have anything to do with the family.

JamlinksNg:
But do you accept that he's misogynistic even in the slightest bit?

I can't say.
Can't judge.

Haven't paid that much attention

Wether you like it or not, GID is a legend here !!

He's not even the worse he's just more honest and vocal.

Real life monsters are still on this faceless forums condemning him but using all his teachings.


It would be well with us all.

Lol.
If you walk past me, I won't bow .
When you walk past your parents do they bow.

Who are these people that bow to you.
Are they people that know you or random strangers.

Don't let it get to your head.
If you think they adore you too much, become their friend and after 2 weeks your eyes go clear

OP what's your mind telling you ?

Should you try harder or just give up ..

From your write up your wife is actually running things in your home by simply manipulating you .

You need to accept people for who they are.
It's wrong for one person to always be the one compromising , or trying to understand another.
It's very toxic

If you can't handle this woman it's better to let her go and love her from a distance.

Since she's not giving you sex , what else is she actually adding to your life.

Your wife o,
Omo OP you're suffering

Before you can overcome an Addiction , you'll need to resolve unhealed truama, boredom, loneliness, self hatred etc.

Addiction is just a coping mechanism !!

You're not the first to be sexually compulsive and you won't be the last.

From your write up I can deduce you have issues with self love and self image.


Do you know why it's the most degrading women you go for
Because you don't think you deserve the best , there's an overwhelming Shame around you.

Bro, only you with God can help you.
Not friends or family..

Work on yourself, resolve all you unhealed truama

You need to start shadow work.
Were you always humiliated as a child
Were you molested as a child
Were you constantly embarrassed Everytime you expressed anger
Were you always given the worst part of anything



Bro it's time to get to know yourself intimately .

All those past shames you've buried in your mind

All those lies you've acceoted as truth, you need to revisit them


I hope you find yourself !!!
I hope you don't hate yourself
I hope that the next time you're angry , you express it by going to the gym or kneeling to pray about your suffering.


I hope one day you wake up and realize you actually have a choice

Just because things have been a certain way in the past doesn't mean they can't change.

Above all, love yourself and always go for the best !!!
Even if you want to waste money on brothel, waste it on the best , because you're a person deserving of love and the best.


If you want to understand your problem better.
Go and read outside shadows by PhD Dr Patrick Carnes


You would cry reading the book, but it would eventually set you free.
All the best.


And never isolate yourself, that's how the devil cut your access from help.
If possible make friends with the ladies you sleep with.
You can also call someone on your contacts everyday just to check up on them.

Just call one person daily.

If possible publicly talk about your addiction to your friends, the good ones.


They would help and encourage you.
All the best

Thought I was the only one with this phobia.

Have never slept over in any of my opposite friends place.

Even the ones that would cook sweet food for me, on Gen and buy drinks.

I go still waka leave you .

No matter the time or situation, I'll just have to leave .
I suspect it's because I love my space and peace of mind.

I feel so uncomfortable being in someone's private space , talkless of the opposite sex.

It's really hard for me

And I must add.

Quit all forms of idolatry !
No more seeking for answers outside Your God
No more consulting spirits or mediums
No more control issues I'e you trying to know what would happen in the future, always looking ahead.

Talk to your family members, maybe your village people or family had initiated you into something.

Some of our parents did it as a form of protection, some it was a way to show loyalty to their diety

But no matter what it was, as long as it wasn't Jesus you were dedicated to

You're simply in bondage.


Pray fervently !!!

The way you came here to share your concern to strangers
And we are advising you, even trying to help you.
How much more your father in heaven, how do you think he would react when you start sharing with him all these.

My friend, any time you're free, just go to church, sit down and start telling God everything .

Keep doing it , until the whole thing changes.


From your story , you're a captive here

You're not free,
You're still living in bondage.

I pray that the good Lord would help you and see you through in the battle .

Amen

Ok.
First things first bleep all those self acclaimed clairvoyant and master shii.

Indeed they have little knowledge.
They're just hustling and you're just a client.
Don't take your problem to them, they can't help you.



The name of Jesus
Daily Reading of The Bible
A life of Love


This things would completely change your life and restore all that was taken away.


If you really want a way out, forget all what they've told you (I'm not saying they lied to you )
But they obviously can't help you, so why waste your time and add to your confusion.

Repent , Rededicate your life to God, Renounce everything , even yourself and accept only Jesus into your life.

This is a deliberate and daily choice you would keep making.

As long as you have faith, your miracle would happen.

But something needs to change fess

Relationships are like mirrors
They reveal to us , our characters and traits that we aren't aware of.

Example, you get into a relationship and your babe starts doing annoying stuffs, and each time it gets you pissed and you make a fuss about it.

That relationship is only revealing your anger issues to you.

Mind you, before you started dating, you were the calm and cool headed guy but now any small thing you're nagging.


Or the lady that Is insecure, then starts dating a guy that other ladies aggressively admire,
Such lady would just be worried and be creating problems out of her imaginations.

Instead of her to realize that the problem in the relationship is her insecurities, rather she keeps trying to convince herself and keeps looking for evidence to prove that the guy has done something wrong .


Many people don't realize that the issue with their relationship is actually their own doing.
The moment one realizes his error In the whole problem, one can just change attitudes
Like instead of me giving my babe silent treatment because of her nagging while don't I just hear her out then go out on a date with her after.
Such actions changes the whole dynamics, the babe would be confused , why didn't he react the typical way.

Relationships are opportunities to help us grow and become better people !!
Every relationship you go into, would expose one or more of your flaws .

It may be challenging to accept that you've done so many wrong things in the past.
But the moment you come to acceptance with your flaws and weakness
And work on improving yourself, you would solve a problem I your relationship.

And even if after all the sell evaluation and self improvement , the person is still challenging then you know you need to walk away and love the person from a distance.

Not all relationships have an happy ending.

This why you shouldn't use only feelings to determine who you want to go into a relationship with, so that when it ends, you won't feel like you've lost the best person you Ever found..

Rather you would have made yourself a better person, you would have known what clearly doesn't work for you and what you don't want in to next relationships.


Relationships is strictly meant for growth !!
Accept all the challenges that comes with it,

Control your feelings and emotions .
Remember their feelings, let them come and go .you don't need to act upon them .

You have feelings for someone, good.

It's enough reason , can you marry them, are they your type, do they share the same core values with you..


.

Film and Tv have ruined courtship culture, what do people take relationship for
They think it's chatting, sexing, gifting , eating out , snapping pictures

I keep saying this, if you're not dating to get married, you're wasting your time
If you can't marry your BF or GF within the next two years
You're wasting your time.

Feelings are not enough reason to be in a romantic relationship with someone.
Just because you have feelings doesn't mean , you deserve to be in a relationship with that person.

Our generation have failed to realize the importance of platonic relationships

Any small thing, I have feelings for you , I want us to start dating
WTF !!

You can have feelings for someone and not be in a relationship with them.
You can love someone and not be in a relationship with him/her


We really need to evaluate our feelings and emotions.
Someone that's not single and happy can never find happiness in a relationship.
The person old habits of being sad and angry would be shared with the partner .
And that Is enough to ruin the relationship .

You can't be a wicked person and expect to be in a happy relationship with a good person.
One person would seriously suffer and the relationship would crumble.

People should stop seeing relationships as coping mechanism or escape route from their individual problems.

You have anger issues, work on it
You have trust issues, work on it
You're promiscuous , work on it
You can't easily forgive , work on it
Don't look for someone that would love you like that.

No one would, the moment you start showing this traits , they would run !!!


Don't go into a relationship when you're struggling with your personality, it would only compound your problems

OP you've done the best thing.

Like people have said, that guy just don't know how to dump you !

He's only trying to manipulate you , fear when people cry when talking to you, especially when they've done something wrong to you. That tears makes you offer them sympathy instead of them apologizing and you condemning them, the tears gives them the opportunity to escape such moment.
He's just playing the victim card


Cry all you can, but never keep close contact with him,
If you genuinely care, contact his brother behind is back.

He hasn't told them because its all lies.
He just wants to be with the other lady.

I wish you all the best

Are you sure you need a relationship right now !
Obviously you haven't learnt much from your previous dating experience

I pity that your Ex that loves you .
I'm sure when you're free from problems and troubles, you'd remember she's not your type , she too like party and sort.

OP do whatever you like, but be prepared to face the consequence

Well done on the shadow work !!

But remember you don't have to act on this thoughts.
Remember it's your dark side
If you allow it have control it won't just cause pain and sorrow on others , it would bring the lion share of pain to you.
Don't become a slave to your desire

Na like this devil dey destroy person.
He would make you believe that's just how you are !!
You're not your thoughts tho
Let them go

Icouldhave:
Am not joking, I had a rethink

I had to hold on

Thank God .

Please reach out to your loved ones