₦airaland Forum

arthurwillia:
I prayed and prayed and did all I could die a government appointment
It didn’t work
I’m so down and dejected
I don’t know what else to do with my life

So sorry bout that

Our best days are still ahead.
Regardless of how many times we fall,for us to be great, we need to get back up and keep pushing.

God is good always, and all the time he is good.

But he alone knows why some things happen.
If you want to ask God questions, go and read the book of job, it would humble you.

Be kind to yourself bro..

Life humbles each one of us at all times, just so that we can learn.

I'm not in the best place myself, even tho I made a lot of progress this year, it's as if the harder I try the harder I fail

Like after one struggle to another struggle, like man doesn't get no breaks

Everyday you have to go out and be strong, if you try to talk they would say man up.

Op take care of yourself.

My advise is try to reprioritize things in your life
Let go of any expectations and strive for peace of mind (whatever that means to you )
Shuffle your circle
Re evaluate your support system
Replace who is draining and uninspiring

And if you do all this
Back it up with Prayer and close serious relationship with God .

At the end of the day, there's so many reasons to thank God.
I hope next year gets better for us all

Wait OP
Have you been confused about something that happened in 2020 !!!
Or you're using this thread for cruise

ObaKlaz:
All these Western brainwashing!

You can't tell our fathers that bullsh!t. They had abundance mindset. Females couldn't turn them to Tony Umez (Mr. Durling).
One female acts up & leaves, it's good riddance & they replace her with 3 more females.

If you find a good one, fine. But no 'bone of any bone' anywhere!
I speak as a male to males only, please.

@OP; You think females are the only gender in toxic relationships? Why not try to strike a balance?! He went "ladies, ladies, ladies"! There's a Toney Umez in you.

You and Tony Umez Sha .


Well to me, a guy is in charge of the relationship
So if a guy choose to remain in a toxic relationship

It's on him.
No excuse for being a simp
.

I Sha agree with you.

I don't think there's such person as that special one .

I feel it's all just scam.

And it's sounds like rubbish when people say if she's the one she would stay or comeback.

I find that hard to accept

Greetings Elders and wise people of this forum.

For those that don't like epistles
My question is this.

If She's the one , she'll always come back
Or
If she's the one, she'll never leave.

The two statements above .
Are they always true
Are they special people that would never leave us regardless the situation and circumstances.

I ask this question, because I hear people saying, if she's your own, she won't leave you or she would come back


But to me, such statements aren't completely true and they're very misleading.

So many ladies are in toxic and co dependent relationship's that they can't just walk away from.

Just because they can't walk away, doesn't make it a healthy relationship

Look at the lady in the movie acrimony !!

That lady never really left !!

Many ladies in this Nigeria, haven't moved on from their ex , some can't even leave an abusive relationship


Some of our mothers endured hell in their homes all because they couldn't find the courage to walk away.

I feel if more ladies had a healthy self esteem and independence

They probably won't ever remain in an abusive or toxic relationships

But now , so many ladies have no identify outside their relationship with their ex.

No matter the calibre of any new guy that comes her way, she unconsciously is addicted to being with her ex

Which is so unhealthy

Please what's your take ?

Are they're people that would never leave us no matter how badly we treat them ?

To me all girls are special and unique, they're some that you emotionally connect deeper with.

They're some that would forever have you back .

But still I doubt there's anything like that special someone.
The Adam flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone was still the one that made him fall
The Bible said he that finds a wife finds a good thing.
It didn't say he that finds the bone of his bone or flesh of his flesh finds a good thing
Am I just confused or are we all confused
Kindly share your thoughts

babavik:
Thumbs up Man.
I think we share the same ideology.
To be frank I have received alot of favours from women more than my fellow men. Most times these favours come from their own kindness. It depends on personality and individual mindset.

I agree with you !!!

This is true and correct.
Op you're very smart to understand this.


The people that only hurts you with words and move on

Are by far the kindest.

OP you made a lot of valid points.

In particular a man and a woman can't just be friends
I agree but then there's another side you've failed to mention.

First I agree that a females just plans on using her male friends while all her romantic hopes are for her ex and boyfriend
You're right, as a guy your female friend would always try to manipulate you

Nevertheless you too can reap many benefits from such friendship
But first, you need to stop expecting anything from ladies..

You don't owe her anything and she doesn't owe you anything.
You have no intentions of impressing her, all your actions are out of kindness and are in alignment with your character
Not in hopes that one day you'd get the puccy

If that's what you want, get a prostitute or another girl for that , but respect your friendship .

In this my life , I have gained a lot of favors from my female friends, they didn't give me sex, I didn't give them money

But we gave each other from our individual love

Which is greater than sex or any material gift.

I tell myself , I may be a simp in the eyes of men but in my conscience I'm only treating my female friends the way I would love guys to treat my sister and my unborn daughter

I feel it's stupid to show good character just to impress a gender, just be good because that's your nature.

And yes , I'm not impotent , the thought of banging my female friends is something I struggle with, but by Gods grace

I shrugg it off and give my attention to more inspiring thoughts

You can be friends with a lady but don't expect much
Don't even expect anything, just be doing you and living life

You don't deserve that man, you don't even love him any bit.

You're just jealous !

I hope you remain single till next year,
You really need to learn not to waste anyone's time.

God saved the good man from someone like you

Porn kills !!!

There's nothing good in it .
OP don't be delusional
Don't mislead anybody.

There's nothing good in porn

It destroys !!!!

A word is enough for the wise

It's not about the number of books you've read , it's not about the informations you've been exposed to.

It's about what kind of person are you ?

Not everybody can be knowledgeable in all areas.

I don't even consider that as intelligence

Just discover who you are and be the best version of that person.

Sometimes too many information would leave you confused and worse than you were before.

Life is mostly about learning and unlearning.

Those stuffs people talk that make you think they're intelligent
70% of the time it's inaccurate and just personal opinions not intelligent as it sounds

If you want to be intelligent, master something and be the best at that thing become successful at that thing.
That's the only proof of your intelligence
How your intelligence influenced your life positively .
Everybody has an idea , every body can talk, but the great ones are known by their actions not talk
My advice
Leave talk for politicians and motivational speakers
Polish your skills

OP

Jesus knew his mission on earth, he didn't come here to start experimenting things or enjoying life.

He knew he was going to die at that age

Why then should he have married when he was fully aware that he was going to suffer and die
He rather not play with a woman's emotions, than to show her romantic love ,then die and leave her in this world behind..

And also Jesus was not going to procreate sexually .

Jesus is too powerful that his genes and DNA dare not be transferred to humans.



OP there's nothing wrong in staying single till 30 but don't waste such virtue, why don't you dedicate it to God
Or devote your life mission to a just course
Live that type of life for a good purpose.
You can honour God with your lifestyle.

Bolarineliza202:
1. walk away from him.

2. kiss him.

3. stay with him until he finally calms down?

As a guy,if you don't get calmed in any of this ways then let's know what calms you down

If you walk away don't come back !!
If you can't handle my madness then you don't deserve my kindness


What has always worked for me is just the person staying still and quiet and never leaving me


At a point I would just look at you and start laughing and I would make it up to you.

Don't be in my face, don't touch me.just be around where I can see you.

My anger no dey reach 5 minutes

Codeye:
Let me explain to the best of my knowledge. She had been used as a collector. Now she is a danger not to herself but to those who will have any sexual relationship with her. In simple term she is now a medium of exchange in the spiritual world. She will collet the virtue of whomever sleep with her and transfer that virtue to the person who used her. In another word she is a bad luck that's the reason that man refused to had sex with her.
Solution WhatsApp. Thank me later

OP this is the answer you're looking for.

She's now a badluck to other guys .

She's hustling for another man .


There's nothing prayer cannot do
Jesus answers prayers.


It's time to put your faith into action.
I believe everything would be alright

Sonnobax15:

Forget many Talks, nairalanders are actually good and loving people....Very soon self,I believe say I go uninstall facebook and WhatsApp out of my phone because they aren't really entertaining and informative like nairaland.......Na who no be member of nairaland dey complain about depression all the time . Because no matter how depressed you may be feeling,the moment you step in here, person like myself and my fellow psychos go must drop one mumu comment wey go must make you laugh away your sorrow

Baba you dey try..
Been a member of this forum since 2013
But left for fb and twitter.
Was only reading stuffs as a guest.

Not until I started seeing
Damn nigga
On serious post , and it was so funny , how people on this forum just catch cruise.


I always wanted to like those damn nigga comments but nairaland kept asking me to login.

So I had to recover to continue enjoying the cruise here.
Yousef be another weyrey

You too dey tackle all these babes for here.

Also there is some people that would make FTC
Then they would use it to dedicate to one nonsense

Lastly that Mosdi Guy
I wonder where he is now .

This forum is very funny, inspiring and informative.
I think it's the best site for Nigerians

Quick Advise to Op

Don't take those insults seriously, learn better things

The earlier you realize that you're in charge of your life and everything you get is what you demanded.

It would be easier for you to be successful .


You can't always blame someone else or something other than yourself when things don't go your way.

Take responsibility of your decisions, actions and their consequences.

If you feel you were cheated, investigate it and get evidence and proofs
Present it to your school examination board and wait for justice.


But you can't start blaming someone for something you did to yourself

This is inspiring.

May God give you all you need.

We love hearing success stories
We love seeing men get back on their feet.

The God that started this transformation would mightily complete it.

Stay strong man !
Your best days are yet to come

Thank God you still listen your conscience.

Fess let's imagine you wrote the exact amount on the receipt,
Do you think your conscience would be disturbing you ??.

I don't think so .

See ehn, when you choose to make a lie become real, you should be ready to accept other unreal things that comes with it.

To be straightforward.

You and the son cheated both yourself and the man .

But greed may not allow us to see it like that.

That receipt bears your business name, it's an extension of your shop

Being dishonest about your business, does you no good.
It may favor you immediately, but in the long run it destroys.

Now the old man knows he can't trust his son, that's why he's trying to deal directly with you


OP you know what to do.

The deed has been done already.

Either make peace with your conscience, or you just ignore it.

The ball is in your court

OP I advise you run as fast as you can.
Stay away from people like that.
You have no clue what's going on in her mind.

She could be going through something very truamatic and still be internally processing it.

She fit be agent of darkness where no like you but just want to kolobi son of men destinies.


If you want to get more insight about her, that her so called Facebook friend find out what type of relationship dey have, e go shock you, that her best friend Is not even aware that they're best friends.
She can tell you anything to sell an agenda , believe less what she tells you and use your eyes and ears to investigate

If she hasn't laughed around you, something is seriously off and your mind has told you so
Even if that's how she his naturally, then something is still off, I advise you listen very carefully to the things she tells you, and never assume.
Keep asking and keep talking, you'll find what you're looking for.


No let greed land you for complications.

Iyaebe:
It all depend on your strength, he truly needs a strong woman to help him out of his situation, can you be that woman for him?do you have such strength (physical and spiritual)? Maybe you should help him quit the alcoholic addiction and depression for now then you let things flow naturally

OP you can't save an addict o

Don't try it, before you get yourself into co addiction .

Let him get professional help !!!

Don't ever participate in his addiction cycle.

But you see yourself,
The decision you took how many years ago , look at where it has landed you.

It's not your fault , he went with the gold digger, but you know that if you had been in this man life things wouldn't have been bad.

You were bust fighting personal battles, when this man was ready for you.

Now you're ready and he is fighting is battles.


This life we all need each other, abandoning people or letting them go because of our personal problems is a foolish thing to do, because God brings people for reasons , and we should always allow the will of God to prevail over our personal will.

OP it's not your fault what happened to him, but this life we can't really cheat fate

If you guys were meant to be together, then so be it


My advice is , let him get professional help

The way you prayed yourself out of your personal problems that year, also start praying for him like that..

He may just be your twin flame who would always be brought back to you.

We always choose our life partners, the one we would marry, but our soulmates and those we share deep bonds with

It's God that chooses that one.


You can also reject him a second time and perhaps he would now commit suicide

About the Ex.

Don't worry about her.
The man has come back to his senses

And if you guys are truly soul mates, then there's no relationship or connection that you would ever share with anyone would be as deep as the one you'll share with him
If you guys are meant to be, OP forget no body can come in between you guys
Unless someone walks away.
Fear not


Help him and give him time.

But please let's all learn our lessons.


The ball is in your court.
You're expected to help him tho.

All the best

Wisdom dey your head.

Number one rule is very important.
I tell everyone .


Make friends everywhere you go.
It would save you !!!

Yes avoid the always sad and bitter.
Those that any small thing they're telling you how bad things are with them

Don't let them kill your vibe, you can't save them !!!

Yes, always be useful,be the guy that brings solutions not the one that's complaining

I don't advise people to be too friendly on the street.
The less they know about you, the more they would respect you

I also won't advise anyone to always be smiling on the street .

Keep a nonsense face and allow people to wonder what's going on

Don't make it easy for people to have access to you.
So that they would value your attention whenever you give them.

Well done OP

No be street dey save person na God

OP

Pele , naso e dey be in the beginning .

Thank God you've let it all out.

No let people dey Laff you because one mumu girl set you free from the bondage you taught was a relationship .


Better go and buy chicken and chop

Once you finish , drink water and go and sleep

The next day think of how to get yourself out of poverty

See fake news.
Politicians are the worst .

This post funny �

But OP well done for the good thing you're about to do.
Instead of wasting her time when you know there's no future , just free the babe

Better break up now when everything is still peaceful.

At least you would have the luxury of being friends and enjoying some benefits.

Tell her you need some time to focus on yourself and that you no longer want to be in constant communication with her till further notice.
You don't have to say too much but let her understand you're breaking up , not that you're confused or you need time

No matter what she says or do , listen and keep the channel of communication open for the day.

After you've said all and she has listened.
It's time to delete her contact and move on.

If she's approaches you physically, greet her , talk to her no hugs .
Don't even spend up to 5 min, just tell her you need to go..


It would hurt you but both of you would be happy it ended like that .

OP
You need to take the red pill seriously

You need to stop giving her a reaction !!! When she makes a fuss, totally ignore her ass
If possible , start walking away from her, whenever she brings that nonsense attitude.
If it would cost your peace,then you can't afford it.


If you can't hold it and must give a reaction, let it be an aggressive and action oriented reaction.


Let her just get out of the house until she's no more angry,

The next time she threatens to leave you, tell her you're done with her and she should come and be going


You need to put her in her place.


Have dated a girl like that, she's also making a fuss, always complaining, the day she threatened me was the day I ended it.

Honestly those type of girls are very controlling and they like a guy that would give them a challenge


OP you know that babe is immature, yunno the attitude she gives you she doesn't give some other guys


Take the red pill dose daily and do the needful .

Those girls would always come back , no fear

Their threats are so empty, but you need to let her know her place first

Well Done OP

You did well.

That relationship was a good lesson for you.
After you've had 2 more lessons like that's, you would stop taking girls too seriously

I know the most painful part was that you didn't even touch her

But thank your God and be ready for better things that are coming.

Focus on yourself bro, don't fool yourself thinking a relationship would give you love and support.

Even as a single guy you can still enjoy females love and support without being in a relationship with them.

There's no how to manual of how to keep a girl happy or make her satisfied that she won't want another guy

I'm sure you're already aware of how ladies are quick to forget the good a guy does for them.
Many even compare the things guys do for them, and that feeds their entitlement Mentality on how muchire to demand


Young man, congratulations once again !!
Enjoy your freedom

Even as a guy, I agree with this..

This is that abundant mentality we talk about.
My dear, you're people's spec, the guy that would eventually settle with you, would be so happy and proud.

This is Why, a lady should never sell herself cheap .

If marriage is not in two to three years plan, you have no business being in a romantic relationship.

Don't start giving marital benefits to a man who hasn't done the needful

If a man can get marital benefits from a lady he hasn't married, why should he even marry her
He'll just keep her till he gets tired or meets someone he thinks Is better.

Platonic relationships with many guys would solve a lot of your problems

Mind you, in platonic relationships, there's no bleeping.
So if you can't control your urges, anything wey you see you go collect.


If you can. Good for you.

Go out with different guys, don't sell yourself cheap to the highest bidder

Build your support around family and platonic relationship.
Don't become dependent on any romantic relationship or person.


My dear , dating the wrong guy or staying in the wrong relationships inevitably limits your chances of you getting the healthy relationship you need.


The longer you stay in a toxic relationship , the more you lose out time on being in a healthy relationships.

A quality and happy life is all about making good decisions and going with the best choice.

I hope as you keep meeting different types of guys you would use wisdom to decide on what would bring you lasting fulfillment.


One more thing, any relationship that can't give you peace, without sex and money involved.

Would not give you peace even if you both had both

Don't be in a hurry to fvck !!
All the best

bepositive11:
So you always put yourself first, even ahead of your wife and kids all the time?

Loving my family is me loving myself..

It's my family not a family or your family

Any love i show them, is just the same as me loving myself.


It's okay not to understand everything someone writes

bepositive11:
I agree with your stance on self love, but I don't agree with always putting yourself first, especially when you are a husband and a father. As long as putting others ahead of you won't hurt you, I think it's only right to know when sacrifices need to be made

It's okay

Do what feels right
As long as it makes you happy

Believe me, All of us know this.

We just feel they're always going to be there for us !!
Or there plenty fishes in the river.

It's painful if you're the one that's always trying to communicate and be understanding

Let self respect stop you from chasing anyone !!
Check up on them a few times, if there's no change in behavior


Just walk away and protect your peace .

Many relationships have ended because of this and many more would be destroyed all because of negligence