₦airaland Forum

I cut the phone out of annoyance and was expecting him to call back which he didn't till after 20hrs

Something as simple as this annoyed OP and she hung up on him; yet she chose to call herself meek and gentle?

How can any sane person can watch the woman who gave birth to you, fed you, raised you, made you man enough to marry this wicked woman being beaten up !
I would summon all my strength and give her one, just one ,tight resounding slap making sure she hides somewhere next time she hears the word b, let alone beat !
Btw, which useless goat would make the mistake of digging her own grave by doing this kind of satanic act?

Oops !  My bad, I thought she meant something like  "even in my present condition of being neglected , I cooked food for him with my own money"---could've never guessed it was pregnancy ! Thanks Sisi kill  

BTW, I read the OPs qstn and her subsequent responses more than once. I just couldn't see where she mentioned she is pregnant. Has she modified her initial msg or was it in some other thread she said it?

Somebody has been deported

If he doesn't change after the talking session, I might even consider doing the same to him, even if it is for a few days. Stay late @ work, go to a gal pal's place after work and stay over without telling him, pay visits to my relations and do not call to tell him when I'm coming back, cook nothing and say there is no money coz you've been saving your money for something special etc etc

If the man appears non-chalant even after all this, she needs to know that she is better off without him  

OP

If I were you, I would seriously consider the man is at something, cheating included. Did he have a family before you married you? Was he this way when you were dating? Is he always this way or is this a once in a while affair? If your answers are in negative, then you need to consider counselling. FORGETTING your home and your wife is NOT NORMAL, trust me. You need to sit him down, have a heart to heart talk and explain how things are hurting you.

Somebody just mentioned somewhere on this thread that there are many women willing to trade places with you. Agreed, but on the flipside there are millions of men craving for a wife like OP.

OMG ! 3 yrs n only cerelac? Do you know the serious nutritional deficiency this kid coud be facing. They are so full of energy and they need an equal input to keep them going. What does her doc say about this? Is she gaining height/weight normally?

Believe me when I say these kids have a Phd in testing one's patience when it comes to food. Nevertheless, keep on trying. Thatz what mothers are for Assuming she has no medical issues, try the following-

1)  I used to mix fruits like mashed banana, pureed apple and veggies like boiled and mashed carrots, sweet potatoes etc with my kid's cerelac when he was 6-7 months. Gradually I reduced the amount of cerelac in it and finally when he had enough teeth to bite, I stopped pureeing them. You could try the same too.

2) She should be asked to eat on the table with the rest of the family and given some bite size food in a plate. It coud be anything, just to get her to start the habit of eating adult food.

3) There is no harm in indulging them a bit at this age. Try flavouring food with chocolate syrups etc , if she prefers sweet. Some kids like spicy food while some others detest them. See how yours is and try cooking a small portion for her when you cook for the family.

4) Never feed the child on a timely basis. Let her get hungry and let her ask you for food. Try offering the adult food/the food you've cooked for her.

5)  What does she do when she goes to the playschool? Most playgroups I know encourages toddlers to eat on their own.

6) Try to take her into the kitchen when you cook (when you are not too busy). Try to invove her in helping you ike fetching the veggies and stuff. Allow her to taste the food and ask her for advice. Mine often eats some raw veggies during our combined cookery sessions like cucumber, carrots etc.

7) There are hundred of sites that offer recipes for kiddie foods. Most of them are simple with easy to obtain ingredients. Try them out.

MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL---As a mom, when you see the child is not taking her food, you might be tempted to offer her cerelac. Stop buying them for a week and see how it goes. A 3 yr is old enough to understand when you tell her that there is no cerelac left in the house.

@ Poster

Nairalandi:
is it good for a[b] lady who is not yet married [/b] to be hot temper.?please can anyone offer a good tips on how ladies can stop hot temperedness,

Do you think it is acceptable to be "hot-tempered" after marriage?:/

Man or woman, married or unmarried, always control your emotions, never let your emotions control you.

^ Thank you and god bless you !

Itz there in Park n Shop

I'd say keep them at an arm's distance so we don't contribute much to their fantasies.

Oh my my --my dream of e-dating, e-marrying, having e-kids with a loony just went down the drain- phluuuzeee come back o !
Next !

snthesis:
ehmm!! Babe- what do u do in your sleep :p

Flap my hands, take a broomstick and fly around the world

Btw, I forgot to add this to my earlier reply

Your child is not a bastard. A layman uses the term bastard to describe someone who cannot pinpoint one person as his/her father. Your child has a father and the man was atleast 'man enough' to own up the responsibility. So technically, your daughter is not a bastard. Please stop labelling the child for no fault of hers.

I kind of missed this. Where in Enugu is this?  Polo park? Roban n favourite don finish  

^Ehen--I take it she did it in her sleep. So why the fuss? Lots of people do lots of things in their sleep-sleep walking, sleep talking--the list is aplenty. Had it been flying around the room, I'd understand why he freaked out.

OP

Pls could you explain:
Was she flapping her hands IN HER SLEEP
OR
Was she flying around the room flapping her hands?

OMG ! Do they still have these kind of ppl around? for real ?
OP pls, tell me you made up a story. Even lefulefu can come up with better excuses

Prolly the woman would've dreamt her hubby was trying to kill her by pushing her into a sea and would've been flapping her hands in an attempt to save her dear life. Can you imagine? Call off the wedding coz the wife flapped her hands in her sleep. Dumbass !

coogar:
the child will demand to know her father one day whether you like it or not.

Seconded. Haven't you heard stories about orphans looking for their biologocal parents? So why do you think your daughter is not going to ask about her father?
Assuming your daughter is now a teenager, try explaining your story to her, your fears and apprehensions included. There are two benefits in doing so, you can justify your part and your story could actually help her guard herself against these kind of abuses.

OP
Some parents sef ! Your wife and your mom are having issues everyday-what is your dad's take on this issue? Why don't you take your dad aside, have a man to man talk and explain how difficult the women are making things for you. Ask him gently to control your mom n sister when an argument starts  while you promise him that you will instruct your wife to stay within her limits. R'ber, do not blame them. Just make sure he gets your helpless situation.

Meanwhile ask your wife to ignore all the provocations from your mom's/sis's side. It takes two to tango! If she gives a cold shoulder, your mom might eventually give up troubling her. Since you say your wife is also a graduate, why don't you help her find a job, even if it is part-time ? The child could go to a creche if you don't trust mom n sister. She being away from home for sometime could ease things and the fact that she contributes to feed them could win her some respect from your folks.

1)Why don't you ask that friend's aunt to provide you with more details of these kids-say names, pics, schools they go to etc. Then probably you can confront him with these evidences.
We live in a strange world. Maybe the friend is eyeing your BF and Aunt is trying to help her out by spreading rumors about him

2) Make friends with someone from your boyfriend's town and ask them to help you with the details required.

3) Tell him to take you to Nigeria

Why just Chime ? I'd say the silly girl and her sister are the only ones to be blamed. The wife's mistake is that of carrying an excess baggage named younger sister to her matrimonial home. Isn't it common sense that a man who gave a damn about his political image  and divorced his wife to take a second wife can never stop it at that? The woman asked for trouble and got more than what she asked for.
On the other hand, the lil naughty woman broke her very own sister's home ! Despicable strumpet was smart enough to get pregnant and keep it so that the man doesn't get rid of her when the novetly wears off ! Had there been any law to punish these kind of home wreckers, I'd strongly suggest they be stoned, whipped and hanged till death !  

Johndoe100:
What is all the noise about? The man is enjoying himself, I actually think they should just leave him alone and stop making a mountain out of something that is small. Do they undersand how tha man will feel if he does not get the kind of bleeping he likes?

sicko

The woman's, ofcourse. Anybody who thinks doing a part-time job, running a household and managing two kids (however well behaved they are) is not much of a job has to be really insensitive. It is not as if his entire day is at stake. How much time is he going to lose if he washes the car or mows the lawn? Doesn't she deserve a break too? She can however do these jobs if the man agrees to cook and do the rest of the chores

On a serious note, there shouldn't be any job meant for man or woman in particular. Anything a man can do, a woman can do better and vice versa. Eliminate ego and you would be surprised to see how you enjoy doing chores you considered were meant only for the opposite gender.

Your username--Moksha--and your topic    

Anyway back to topic-- Why is it a problem now if you had thought about it and you WERE planning to do it someday? Your friend probably wasn't ok with dating your sis, but would've grown closerr to you to the point of asking you such a qstn. If not you, she would look for someone else. As a  close friend (you said you helped her find a man), she would have thought of checking with you before asking someone else. I do not see any reason to feel flattered nor insulted.

Btw, did you ask her if it was her idea or her man's idea to get you into this?

Eh? Is he a robber himself? Which mother is going to be proud about that now?

Oh I would happily go to my BIL's hospital if he had one. Reason, the special care and attention I might possibly get as his sister
But you r talking about gossips and stuff, so I guess you've had some bad experience. In such a case I might stay away from his hospital and make sure I remind the doc about the ethics that is expected from his profession.

@ Topic
I'd be proud of my mom and will support her in every possible manner.

Sorry O
Please you have not mentioned anything about your health, age and why you think you will not have a baby of your own. Though couple who are perfectly healthy with kids of their own do adopt, you sound like someone who wants to adopt out of desperation. Do you think if god blesses you with kids of your own after you adopt a kid, you/your partner might still shower the same love and care you once had for this child? You have already mentioned your mom won't accept an adopted child, so we don't even want to venture into your husband's folks' take on this.Assuming you have kids in future, do you think his siblings will have the same love and respect for this child as they would have for a senior brother/sister even after you and your husband are not in the picture? Don't you think he will always be considered as a "lucky"orphan ?

With so much of advanced technology available in the fertility sector, I suggest you try all that is possible to have a kid of your own before you consider adoption. Meanwhile try as much as possible not to worry about this matter as worrying too much can hinder conception. Pray coz prayers can do wonders. I'm sure you will come back to tell us how much your kids are troubling you and how you wish to have some peace and quiet