₦airaland Forum

hayubee: Herz my opinion!!
Seriously nigerians dy hustle die nd are hardworking same as indians but labour is cheaper in india so dey don't expect to pay more! Imagine my dad left our ous. Which is very close to luth @ 10pm 2 help an indian guy fix his electrical fault inside heavy rain oo only 4 d guy to give him#500 nd d dude could not even speak english (d guy stays @ alaka estate)
Nd lastly we hav good nd bad ppl in nigeria same to d indians my b sme ppl r unfortunate to come in contact wif bad indians! mayb!

Did Papa make it clear how much he would charge or did he just say 'anything you like" n accept the money ? If its the latter, I wouldn't blame the Indian...but if he had told him the charges and if the Indian refused to pay him at the end, then I guess your papa should've just pulled out all the wires he had fixed

sherrif222: Indians bosses are the worst ever, don't expect any promotions from them, they have zero value for
your effort. i tell you i have been there and even in their country they use their workers like hell and
pay them peanuts. Indians are the highest racist ever... in India you cannot own a company without
using an Indian as the boss. they have racist law that prevents a foreign from ruining a coy in his name
as the sole owner. you cant even buy a house in your name. you have to buy in the name of an Indian
goat called an agent and he will transfer to you but still have access to your possession...... Indians are
nothing but shiiiiiiiiiit. .... in other parts of Europe Indians do the minor jobs and they are like the slaves
they do the manual labor and other petty jobs although they earn well because of good employees
welfare. but in Nigeria they seat there as the boss.. who dash monkey..... indiginization should be the
best practice just as they do in their country.................

So you tried to set up a company there and tried to buy a property and when both failed you come here to lament they are racists ..sigh !

All those who lambast Indians...( I r'ber asking this before on some other Indian bashing thread) what/who is stopping you from quitting your "Indian" job ?

Btw, we hate Indians, Lebanese, Chinese, Koreans, Britons, Americans, Ghanians, South Africans the list goes on...we hate Igbos, Yorubas, Hausas...we also hate our President, our political and religious leaders, musicians, pop-divas, our movie stars...I weep for this country, seriously ! God help Nigeria !

So proud of the way Nigeria and Nigerians are handling this Indian issue. While we are at it, lets teach the rest of the world that they can't mess with the "Giant of Africa". Lets begin with the Middle Eastern countries. We'll go their without proper documents and sell drugs, mass protest on public roads with a dead body and then go ahead to damage their public properties. Don't mind their law jare...we don't care about any law in our own country..,so why bother about another nation's? If they move as much as a small finger against us, we'll make sure to throw out their citizens from Nigeria. The rest of Nigeria will forget tribalism and stand united in support of these acts. We own the world, who wants to mess with us? Then lets move to China, Lebanon, Egypt , US and the whole of Europe and see if they have the liver to take any action against us. How on earth can everybody think we are trouble makers when we are such a peace loving lot? really. And how can anybody ask us to produce passports and visas for staying in a foreign country? Aren't we doing them a favor by going there in the first place? Don't they know that we have a fabulous country where everybody is gainfully and legitimately employed and we still have enough and more vacancies if our brothers and sisters from all these countries were to come back for good.

rokiatu: Ha!!! I see all my beautiful Indian girls made the list. Aishwarya ria was always number one for me but nowdays shes letting her self go. She need to pay more attention to her appearance.

Kim and Katrina are not Indians. Freida Pinto is.

I so understand this woman's plight...well, lady try these :

1) If the man is married/ has a GF, get a male friend to give her an anonymous call n tell her that he is having an affair with u(ur name has to be mentioned for best results).

2) If he is single, just get that same friend to call this admirer of yours n tell him to stay away from u, tht the caller is a gangster who's been vying for ur attention for years and has vowed to get rid of anybody who comes to woo you and spoil his chances

Either way, you won't be blamed

Manju.enchant, I'm just going ahead with the assumption that you come from a country where arranged marriages are the order of day and your case wasn't different, hence no courtship or likes. As it is common in these kind of marriages, you guys interacted after your engagement and he put up a loving caring facade, all in a bid to impress his would be. And then you found out that he lied. You made a fuss, wanted to put an end to the impending marriage.Your parents obviously would've supported you. But as the marriage dates were made public (I'm sure invitation had also started), your would-be apologized and begged you to reconsider, we do not know if this begging has to do with the troubles they went through to organize a lavish engagement only to call off the wedding @ last minute or the love he had developed for you. You gave in to his requests. Now, barely a year later, you want to walkout on him/ kill yourself and feel like you've been taken for a ride.

Let's start with his relationship with his mom. I do agree we've heard about incestuous relationships of this sort. But in your case I'd give the guy a benefit of doubt owing to the fact that he is an only child. Maybe he was pampered way too much and he is just returning the love n care. I personally know some men who playfully call their moms by their first name. Regarding your relationship with your MIL, I guess it was already strained when you bared her son's lies. In a way, you were sort of pointing fingers @ her upbringing. She would've already formed a negative opinion about you and would've been pissed off with your family for supporting you. Also some MILs tend to get insecure when they try to see a competitor in their DIL. I think your MIL is just proving and reiterating the fact that she had and still has control over her son by insulting you and your family in front of him and getting him to agree with her. She is just basking in the knowledge that her son has not turned into a hen-pecked husband and that he still puts his parents first when it comes to relationships. The guy on the other hand, I feel, doesn't want to appear as an ingrate and a woman wrapper all of a sudden when a woman came into his life and hence playing along. You could either try to get along with MIL and try to reassure her that you are not a threat and you are not here to take away their only son OR you could walk out as you had decided earlier if you do not have the patience or time to give your marriage another chance. I personally don't think that a woman can go ahead and love a man deeply just because she's married to that man. The fact that you love(d) him a lot shows that he had done things to evoke your feelings. Be sensible and mature in what ever decision you take. Good luck.

ifihearam: Who ask you?

Get lost

10...8 of them r indian freedom fighters while the last n the prominent two at the bottom, a man n woman , were prime ministers of india..the woman , indira gandhi ws killed n the man , rajiv gandhi - her son , succeeded her ( did i really say all these ?!)

@chaircover
do u have a store @ lagos ?

Modified

Knew it And said that too...this very same hands r behind that madu girl too..

Back to current topic

pissedatmom: I am not a Mod or Seun or Dayo. Lol I laugh at you because you think you are so smart and you know everything. I have told you the truth about everything, why else to lie? I have gotten what I needed and I have my script for my admission.

The "real" poster may not be Dayokanu, but smone very friendly with him..see how the person goes on to refer him as "Dayo Dayo" inspite of ppl asking if itz Dayokanu..not every poster on NL addresses Dayokanu as Dayo, let alone some one who just discovered Nairaland a few days back.

[quote author=debrief08][/quote]"Sigh" ! Wish I had an answer

@ debreif

Hmmmm..I do agree with 'pity party n gossip as soon as she leaves' But I can never be harsh with someone who's already down and low. That doesn't mean I'll ask a woman to take anything and everything in the name of saving her marriage. If you were my friend/sister in real life, during ur turbulent years, I'd have sincerely asked and helped you to walk out of that hell much before you yourself decided to do it (preferably after castrating that animal) What bugs me most is when people start treating u anyhow just because you decided to be humane n give them a chance. Anywayz, hope this OP learns a thing or two from this thread (hoping itz a genuine issue..honestly I opened this thread prepared for some fun thinking itz one of those dumb thread asking how to make hubby addicted to me, how to make him attend my calls etc..after reading her post, was genuinely feeling bad for Op n got carried away with the first response I read. Didn't even bother reading the other comments n just typed out what came to my mind <sheepish grin>.Apologies !)

debrief08: Madam, I learnt from my experience and spent years rebuilding my life, If someone had spoken to me this way earlier I would have made a quicker decision, all the advice i got was cook and clean cook , s3x, obey, dont speak, till i almost disappeared.
I dont wish any woman will have to go through what I went through before they learn to say enough is enough and love themselves. It took me so much work and when women speak out instead of letting them get to the state i found myself I find it easier on my conscience to speak out now.
Hope this doesnt offend you

Ehen...if your posts to people coming with issues online sounded like this, I wouldn't have made that snide remark (honestly its so not me) But all we (yep me included) do is jump into conclusions, admonish the poster for being a low life n even suspect somebody is playing a prank by cooking up a story. What pisses me off is the fact people like you who've been through all of these still blaming the woman for causing all of it due to her lack of self-respect n blah blah..none of us are raised to take poo from another person, even if it is our better half. Its just misfortune that leads our lives into the hands of such men. The very same ppl who say women cause these problems themselves will call her childish if she walks out of the marriage coz hubby slapped her. Coming back to ur issue, don't tell me you continued in ur first marriage ONLY coz ppl asked you to stay..weren't you old enough to think for yourself ? Every human being has a tolerance level and no matter what outsiders say, once the limit has been crossed, when they see every step taken to mend the relation has gone down the drain, then they call it quits. Lest I forget, people come online to discuss issues not necessarily because they don't have anyone offline to share their issues. Maybe they want an unbiased opinion, may be they just want to hear a 'don't worry, its not your fault', maybe they want to see if anyone else have gone through what they are going through..isn't it just sadistic when we, who barely know them just go ahead and blame them for things we really don't know?

And no, nothing that is said on a public forum by people who are nothing but user names offends me. Have a great weekend !

Dear ppl ...God is good, all the time !
@ marygold
Do not get disheartened my dear...I had heard all what you just heard and more for almost 3 months with my first pregnancy. Had I gone with their report, I wouldn't have seen my son who's almost 4 nw. DO NOT GET DISHEARTENED WITH THESE SCANS. IMO, most of the times they don't make sense. It took them 3 months to find out I was carrying twins in my last pregnancy while I had been going in for a scan every other week from week no.5(I lost them @ 3 months though...thatz a whole different story which has been shared here) ! So don't lose hope, keep praying hard. IJN , everything is going to be ok .

See ex-punchbag-cm-doormat acting like mother of self-respect.. If she knew so much abt 'self esteem', wonder what made her stay with her abusive husband, watching him making out with ho's! Yeye woman !

Some wannabe agony aunts on this section just log in with an epistle in mind and don't even bother reading questions properly !

Why not? What makes u/ur friend think she can't get pregnant? Personally know a few who've been through much more than fibroid operations and yet went on to have kids (yep kids). The woman is a gem, she's atleast not hiding anything from her man, something you hardly see these days.

This is too much for me ! When the excruciating pain wouldn't go away even after the D&C, we did a repeat scan only to see that my doc(quack) never did a good job. The remnants is causing the pain n bleeding

Ladies, thank you for ur re-assuring words...this is a time when anything said can break or make ur day...a very tough phase indeed.

@ kemidebbie : I'm speechless ! These ppl can be so inhumane

May Almighty bless all the wonderful women on this thread with 'fruit of womb'.. And we'll soon start a thread on 'how to handle toddler tantrums'IJN !

@ hebrew woman

Thank u . I'm based @ Lagos. My first pregnancy was a troubled one ..After ttc for 3 agonizing yrs, I myself was surprised when it was least expected. I was overjoyed at thought of putting behind the days of taunts and sympathy. But I started bleeding from week 5, so much with clots and cramps for 3 months !!. Each scan till 12 week showed empty gestational sac. Our faith prompted us not to go in for a D&C and finally, when the bleeding went beyond our control, we agreed for the D&C. But our prayers n tears were not wasted n my Lord intervened. A scan on the day before the procedure showed a fully developed healthy baby, growth perfectly in line with my LMP, with heart beat n all. Till date we believe that baby was miraculously placed in my womb @ week 12 ! From there on, my pregnancy took a U turn n I had the best time in my life. I delivered my miracle, a bouncing baby boy on x'mas day.

We did not have to try much for my second pregnancy as I became pregnant after ttc for just 2 months. That itself was a shock as I'm PCOD. As opposed to my 1st pregnancy, this one was smooth from the start...I had a different doc this time as we had relocated to Lagos. I briefed him abt my 1st pregnancy and he couldn't care less. Nevertheless, I was asked to come in every week for a scan and progestrone shots(from week 5). The scan showed I was 2 weeks behind my LMP and doc thought it was prolly because it was a girl n girls are slow starters ! We decided to trust him. Week 12, they tell me I have 2 sacs(our qstn why it went unnoticed all this while was tactfully ignored), one with a live baby with hb while second one had stopped growing somewhere @ 5-7 weeks. The radiologist said only a miracle can save the baby as the empty sac wasn't allowing live baby to grow. Doc ignored the report and ridiculed us for even bringign it up. I asked him if I should go for a bedrest n once again I was ridiculed :/ After a week, I started spotting and he thought it was perfectly normal !!! But soon, I started bleeding heavily and then came the worst cramps I've ever had. I was rushed for a scan n the scan said my sac with the live baby drew blood from the empty sac and my baby was no more No more hb detected. We saw the doc and all he told us was' how do u think this happened ??!' He mumbled this 2-3 times like a delirious man and then announced ' get ready for a clean up'. Before we could blink our eyes, I was rushed in for a D&C and we haven't seen the doctor since. He refused to meet us after the procedure and the staff were eager to send me home even before I could open my eyes from the anaesthesia effect. I now hear stories abt how he kept assuring a woman that her ectopic pregnancy would eventually become uterine and when her pain became unbearable, she had to run for her dear life.

@ udoka
Thank you dear. More than the bleeding (itz still heavy o) my concern is the cramps and the clots. It hasn't gotten any better even after the D&C. Maybe I'll wait for a day or 2 and go for a repeat scan.

.

Been reading this thread though I'm posting for the first time. I've always wanted to post my story to encourage the wonderful women on this thread. However, I'm going thru a very rough phase. Just had a D&C to clean out my 12 week old angel baby This is my first miscarriage and first D&C..after the emotionally and physically traumatising episode, I was shocked to see blood clots the evening of my d n c? I thought d n c was sppsd to clear everything. The bleeding has also increased after the d n c. Am I overreacting, is this common? My doc is not so apologetic for my miscarriage (happened due to his negligence) and refused to meet or talk to us after the procedure..so going back to him isn't an option.

.

OMG ! I thought I was alone. The wee hour msgs are the most irritating ! Imagine waking up at 1.30 am to see 'ABCD has been auto renewed or Dial 335 for music updates' wtf ??! :/ Their customer service is equally annoying. There was a time some software upgradation was taking place n these useless clueless bunch told me for 2 straight weeks that the problem was with my BB. I almost ended up buying another one. The only reason for keeping the line is coz I don't have the courage to go back to MTN or Glo.

This happened sometime back at the Dxb airport. Passengers had started boarding when a ground staff (non-nigerian) announced loudly "Mister...(She stopped and stared at the list with a genuine surprise) Mister sh*t you Ibrahim, please step aside". An embarrassed 'Shittu' immediately walked up to her and corrected his name

Sometime ago, while we were waiting for our Lagos bound flight, a non-nigerian ground staff announced loudly, "Mister..(She stopped n stared at the list with a genuinely surprised look on her face)..Mr. Shit you, please step forward" An embarrassed 'Shittu' immediately walked up to her n corrected her.

Somebody please enlighten me- those who say Indians r this n that, why do you all go to do business with them when you know they are the most corrupt people in the world? Who is forcing Nigerians to work with Indians? When you dont like someone, stop associating with them- do they put you on gunpoint from quitting? (dont know anybody in Nigeria who works for Indians and hence the question)

Flip side, we seem to have a problem with everything and everybody-everyone and everything is poo - Presidents,First ladies, Governors, Ministers, Pastors, Churches, Religious leaders, Sportsmen, Banks, Policies, Tribes, Foreigners ... I tire sha !

abubello: a colleague told me that he was warned by a friend some weeks ago to stop flying Dana allegedly because they use HHK (Household kerosine) as fuel. I dont know how true this allegation is but i think it should be investigated

Kerosene? Maybe he mistook palm oil for kero.. DUH !!

Flyboy Zee: India must go!

Who do you blame for the Allied Air crash that happened on Saturday ? Oh wait, why should we care huh ? All we know is Nigeria was perfect before Indians came n it will return to its perfection once they leave.

[quote author=Busy_body]Forget all those cowardly tribalistic trash you see these so-called igbo/yoruba e-warriors spewing online, it does not happen in the real world. They live side by side and intermingle freely. Its only intertribal marriages that makes people's hair stand on end. But we have none of those honour killings which is rife amongst these Asians.


Moreover, you cannot compare those sporadic and retaliatory clashes to something ingrained into people's psyche via a rigid inherited social status.[/quote]Busybody, never expected this from you..the one who championed 'stop generalising' campaign. You were one one among those who made sense in the cabal :p India, I think is the second largest populated nation n we cannot conclude they r all rotten apples. I r'ber having to explain what honour killing was to an Indian (I think he came from South) and he stood with his mouth wide open as none of it happened where he came from n hence he was clueless.(There was a guy called SAFO here, don't see him much nw, he could've explained it better coz I r'ber him saying his best friend was an Indian n he knew quite well abt them) I'm sure concluding all Asians r horrendous n caste crazy is as ridiculous as saying any male nigerian who boards an international flight has ingested cocaine capsules and concluding all nigerian women in Europe r ashe** ...we r all different, aren't we?