₦airaland Forum

Sigh !

[quote author=Busy_body]Dang, what would Jesus do or say in response to Smilenw's gaffe !


Would He simply say "ignorance is bliss" or would He say "thanks for the wikipedia definition of something totally different"


Na wah [/quote]

OP
Well done-- India must go, then china must go, lebanon must go, america, britain, x, y, z..what next? Nigerians from these countries come back..n then? Oga go find jobs for all of us, abi ?? :/

[quote author=Busy_body]Right back at you.

You don't need this thread to know this. The term cowboy Indians did not materialise from thin air and is deffo not a Naija phrase. Nuff said [/quote]The phrase cowboys & indians (itz not cowboy Indians) comes from the historical period of the opening of the west in North America when men who herded cattle (cowboys) would battle with Red Indians (who were on the land first). Many bloody massacres took place between these two groups and when these are portrayed in movies today they are very noisy and action packed, so referring to someone playing "cowboys and indians" would mean they were play fighting in a noisy manner and chasing each other around.



[quote author=texazzpete]This thread is NOT about Dana Air and the Dana Air crash is still under investigation. I suggest you learn how to separate issues and treat them on their own merits. The only thing the administrators of the hospital and the dana air management have in common is that they both are indians. Drawing any conclusion from that similarity is stereotyping and that's stoopid.

I mean, you lot get veeeery angry when South Africans point to the massive amount of crime perpetrated by nigerians in SA as evidence that ALL Nigerians should not be trusted. Why the hypocrisy?


Hmmmm...itz true.

U talk abt Indian quacks ?! Wait till u hear what some very famous doctors(of course Nigerians) and their staff put us through ! Recently I had to go thru a lot of emotional and physical stress coz of a doc's negligence..n money ?..let's not even go there. Thanks to him, I miscarried my twins !I wish I could sue this man for all that he has put me through I now hear abt another woman who went to him with ectopic pregnancy n was asked to 'ignore' it and carry on as usual as he thought it can eventually turn into a normal pregnancy !!she had to shell out almost 1m for all the tests, all for her to lose her tubes and her chances of having kids :/ Yet another doctor who was on duty while we rushed our baby @ midnight due to high fever was shamelessly asking the nurse what medicines he should be prescribing. He couldn't even hold a syringe properly and the needle got stuck in my baby's bottom. He couldn't even write down the name of the medicine n had to check back with the nurse ! A friend took her toddler who had severe constipation to her hospital n the doctor who attended them stuck her long nails inside the baby's back to check for dried up poo !Needless to say the baby's skin broke n was bleeding heavily! If well-qualified ( some of them frame their certificates in their offices) n experienced doctors start to behave this way, I wouldn't even want to think about what those young things who call themselves doctors could do in the name of treatment! It comes as no surprise why those who can afford travel out of Nigeria for treatment. There is no sector in this country that is governed appropriately.

U talk abt Indian quacks ?! Wait till u hear what a very famous doctor(of course Nigerian) and his staff put me through ! The emotional and physical stress is way beyond what I can handle, n money..let's not even go there. I wish I could sue this man for all that he is put me through I now hear abt another woman who went to him with ectopic pregnancy n was asked to 'ignore' it and carry on as usual as he thought it can eventually turn into. a normal pregnancy !!she had to shell out 1m for all the tests it seems, all for her to lose her tubes and her chances of having kids :/ I now wish to believe this man has gone mad because of too much work n I was just plain unlucky to have chosen him as my doc

Somebody please tell me this guy's pic that we see here was not released alongwith the press release. How can someone have the audacity to smile when so many lives have perished because of him ?

olyivy: Curse the indians not your leaders!!

Are you afraid of the indians??

SMH. Agreed the Dana management is culpable and has to be punished appropriately for their selfishness. But do you think if this man was hanged to death, Nigeria would be a better place ? Who do you blame for the Ghana crash day before yesterday ?

Whatz with these doctors ? All these while I was being told all is well and today, after the umpteenth scan in 2+ weeks, I'm being told that they r seeing 2 sacs n only one is viable. Hard luck, but wasn't heartbroken. The news of a twin was not known earlier n hence losing it didn't make too much of a difference! But felt something funny in the way the doc behaved n went ahead for a second opinion. Seems there is ONLY one sac n this pregnancy is not viable ! They r expecting a natural miscarriage How frustrating can it get? Why do medical practitioners fool around with our health and emotions..why did my first doctor, a veteran, keep me in the dark ?

I had to re-write my reply coz I just saw OP's post stating the wife has always been in the habit of insulting her husband. What advise can one give to a man who has encouraged such behaviour to the extent of his woman insulting him in public. Some men are too much peace-loving that they turn a deaf ear to whatever their women say, even if it is insult of the highest order. Nothing wrong in liking some peace and quiet, but do make sure ur wife do not take undue advantage of your peace-loving nature and turn you into a spineless being. Before this couple starts having kids, the man needs to get his wife to learn to respect her husband. A man has got to be a man.

Why didn't he tell you ? If the two of you are not in good terms, and they did it on purpose, then I wouldn't ask you to go and congratulate. Would assume they didn't want your wishes/gifts and hence didn't bother to tell you. On the other hand, if everything was okay between the two families till now, I'd give them benefit of doubt and go ahead and congratulate them. Maybe they were too busy to be informing each neighbour in person.

Look at you.. with little or no provocation u r screaming the F word ! That's a commendable quality. Please go ahead and display more of the wonderful culture and tradition you've inherited :/

I can see you have serious comprehension issues. My bad, should have guessed it from your first post on this thread. When and where did I say I know how you feel? You said in your first post to me: "what did I do to you, do your own thing and let me do mine " and I tell you maybe the OP feels the same way, i.e 'why do these people attack me for anything and everything I say, maybe those who don't like me should leave me alone'--do you get me or do I need to explain further?. You are not the only Nigerian or Yoruba on this forum and yet can't seem to understand why you alone should take things personally. I have not seen one post on "this thread" where poster says she hates Nigerians. If you have a problem with her previous posts, go back there and finish it off. Its immature to be stalking her all over the forum and get back at her at every given opportunity.
It doesn't make much sense when you claim to have a good life outside NL, yet need to come here to have fun Admit it, e-bullying (or whatever you call it) is not cool "GIRL"

Was in your shoes a few years back. Went to my mom's place for my delivery and her maid who also doubled as her cook, who had been with her for years seemed to be uneasy with my visit. Hubby had to travel out of the country, so he is nowhere in this story. I pointed out to my mom why this girl appears all restless, contrary to her normal warm nature. Mom said I shouldn't bother as long she is not doing any harm and does her job well. A lot of times my mom used to tell me not to meddle with her behaviour. To cut the long story short, one night, well after midnight, I went to our kitchen to get something to eat and voila, the door had locked from inside. After about half an hours wait, this maid who has an adjoining servants' quarters opens the door looking all worried, half clad. It was apparent somebody was in there with her and she never expected anyone to come that side at such an hour(my mom takes a lot of medicines for various ailments, some of them have sedative effects n hence this girl knwos mom won't wake up in between). I woke my mom n said can't stand seeing her house turning into a brothel n this girl said I'm making up stories without proof and just packed her stuff n left that very moment. Seems she was seeing our neighbour, a married man n he visited her most days @ night. A few weeks later, they eloped !!! Mom has never been able to find a substitute till date and I feel sorry to see her suffer all alone with her ailments and deep inside feel guilty for playing moral police . Also feel bad for indirectly causing the man to run away with her, if we hadf not found out about it, that fling wouldve died a natural death. Each time I visit my mom's after this incident, hubby reminds me to stick to my business
I think you should fully concentrate on your health now instead of worrying about a slut. You wouldn't want to bring something disastrous to your health with an increased BP. If your hubby had to cheat, why would he do it right under your nose ? Talk to him about your concerns. Talk to your mom about how bad you r feeling and how it might affect your baby, her grandchild. If you can, ask her to talk to the girl and warn her to behave n dress properly since you r feeling uneasy about it. You can also consider getting another house-help just for yourself, thereby taking away her monopoly and reducing the chances of she being alone at home when you are not around(thatz an extreme step though). But honestly,your baby should be your primary concern and stay focussed on it. Like I said, if DH had to cheat, he can do it anywhere...it doesn't have to be with your house-help, risking his marital life. I'm sure the baby is as important to him as it is to you. He can't be foolish enough to spoil all of this for a silly despo. A lot of men who gets lots of action at home 24x7 still go out to cheat on their wives. So stop feeling guilty in that area. Its important to trust each other in a marriage. We, as wives, cannot follow our husbands everywhere n monitor everything they do. Trust him and trust God. That's the best you can do to your baby right now. Goodluck !

jidegirl12: E ma gba mi ke, what have I said do deserve your Obvious beef ? Abeg leave me alone and do your own thing and I do mine, pleeeease!!!

This would be exactly how @ 90love is feeling.

Maybe there is some fact in what poster said when she came up with this thread http://www.nairaland.com942597/why-women-own-worst-enemies

@ jidegirl
Try not to comment if you have absolutely nothing to say. If you are so proud of your accomplishments, why don't you start a fresh thread instead of derailing ? :/ OP came here to say she INSISTS on having yoruba names for her kids, asks for suggestions, and before she completes her post, you start screaming "why not yoruba names? I have it, my kids have it, my neighbours have it, my cousins have it"..good for you ! Why don't you take half a minute to read her question before commenting ? Maybe you need to check yourself before calling her a trouble maker.

@ agiboma and mogbomoya.Thank you so much ladies. Your posts have been a huge relief to me.

Agiboma, thanks a ton dear for this thread. Love the way how each one of you inspire and support each other. Keep up the good work !

Hi ppl, congrats to new mommies and the ones who r on their way to mommyhood I have a small issue Like I mentioned in my previous post on this thread, I was 8 weeks n 5 days based on my first scan. The hospital I visit gets a scan done on the first visit n I thought I was 7 weeks on my first visit based on my LMP but the scan showed only 5 weeks. Doc thought my cycle wasn't proper, but assured me all was well and put me on progestrone shots since I was PCOD..the scan followed after 2 weeks showed a growth of 7 weeks, but no heart beat was detected. Doc again said since there wasn't any bleeding or cramps, I shouldn't be worrying and come back for a repeat scan in 2 weeks. The repeat scan did show a heart beat, but once again growth is just 7 weeks plus, instead of the expected 9 weeks the woman who did the scan and my doc thinks there is nothing wrong as long as I don't have any bleeding and the baby has a heart beat. Infact they say girls develop very slowly at times Though itz not my first pregnancy, this is something new to me. My nausea has also disappeared.. I really don't know what to tell ppl who ask me how far along I'm. I googled my condition n the results were extremely depressing. Anybody with similar experience/ encouraging stories ?

Montana, u r a very strong man and all these mood swings u r going through now shouldn't affect your basic character, a very strong, positive character. I could make out your character from the way you wrote your first post, how you went ahead with the wedding, how you both look forward to the coming of the baby, how you wish to have more kids...only a strong person can do all these. So why take a U turn now? Once you come into this world, you have to go back..and NOBODY knows when their time is up. Just coz u found out this, u r contemplating of leaving before your time ? Pls don't do that. All this is meant for cowards and like I said before you are not one. Pls do all that takes to make ur life happy. I wish you well and look forward to reading ur testimony soon.

Hi all! How safe is "Malta Guiness" during pregnancy ? Had absolutely no craving or morning sickness during my first pregnancy...but with this one, too much shakara 8 weeks and dying to have a can of "Malta Guiness"

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GRA in Enugu !!! Looks like their original intention was not abduction. But honestly, how can these thugs compare the life of an innocent child to that of few ornaments? Btw, where was the child's father? Can imagine what the parents must be going through and sincerely pray for the child's safe return.

OP, Looks like your mom is a sadist, an evil one at that. How can you say a fellow being "belongs" to you and feels its ok to behave any which way you desire just coz you provide him food and shelter ?!What shocked me was the 'jumping on top of his head' part Too much of WWF !I hate to say this, but I hope this boy is not being s3xually abused You haven't mentioned anything about your father. If he's around, why don't you try speaking to him? You know, if I were you, I'd have tactfully begged monster momma to allow me to take the houseboy to my matrimonial home under the pretence of not getting trustworthy househelps and then rescue him from that hell. This boy too baffles me. Why isn't he trying to inform his folks of what he is going through. How much ever poor you are, no parents would want their child to go through all of these. IMO, what has happened has happened, between you and your mom. For now, leave it the way it is. If you go around begging and pleading, you'll be cementing her belief that she is not doing anything wrong. Your mother has not spoken to her own siblings for years and so I think she doesn't believe in forgetting and forgiving. Maybe you can go ahead with your plan of writing a letter, but in all probability that is not going to change her attitude. Just be patient and "HOPE" time will heal everything and if there is an iota of remorse, she'll accept you back.

This reminds me- about a decade back, I had to attend a meeting @ short notice. I needed some hard copies filed away in another wing and didn't have the time to go and get it myself. Called up a subordinate who was in that wing and asked him (who should have been older than me) if it was possible to bring it over. He said he was busy. What went against him was he forgot to put the phone back properly and blurted out loud enough for me to hear 'that small girl wants a man to be at her beck and call? in her dreams'. I managed to sit through the meeting and then walked up to his reporting manager, who incidentally reported to me, and asked for an explanation. He seemed to support the guy. They obviously had a problem with a woman as their senior, and that too someone younger to them. I took a deep breath and informed them that they were not required in my department. They expected it and seemed ok with it. These guys had the nerve to walk upto me n say 'wait till you get back home ' Nothing happened. Do I feel guilty? Not till this minute ! These kind of people need to pay for their arrogance...
What you did was the right thing though I would have suggested sacking just the cleaner and issuing a warning to the company. The rest of their staff and the owner of that firm didn't have to pay for one person's un professionalism. Let's hope the man will be careful with the kind of people he employs hereafter.

I read a post few minutes back where OP mentioned that all her hubby does is sleep, watch movies and eat (which is making him heavier) I can't be blamed if others haven't seen it. People see only what they want to see and honestly they are least bothered about OP or her problems. Can't blame them either. Infact it is surprising they find time to go through these kind of threads whilst they are busy in their quest to become the "perfect naija wife who WORSHIPS their husbands. Super women indeed :/

OP, SO WHAT ON EARTH MAKES YOU THINK THE SCENARIO WIll/NEEDS TO CHANGE NOW? He didn't want to change all these years and he still doesn't think he needs to change. His folks think he is ok. You think you r doing wok inspite of all you have written up there. People think your kids are ok. So what's the issue here? What made you wake up from your 8 year slumber and think that things need to change?

When I mentioned of keeping him occupied, I DID NOT MEAN HOLDING HIS HANDS AND MAKING HIM DRAW PATTERNS OR GETTING HIM TO SOLVE 12 PIECE PUZZLE, like how they keep ' highly intelligent hyper-active kids' occupied:/ Maybe you should have read my post properly without just going through quoted highlighted parts..if you so much love him and want this relation to work (sigh) drag him out of that house. Once the man meets his age mates and see how they fare, have an active social life, get some spiritual and medical assistance, he MIGHT develop a different outlook. You can't eat the cake and have it too. If the marriage isn't working, one of the couple has to do something to make it work. Its not about 'why just woman, why not man'. The man in question has no interest in doing any sort of work, let alone making his marriage work. The woman on the other hand seems to be keen to make it work (or so I feel). If its about man vs woman, let her resign her work and stay at home and appoint a house boy..so she can repay whatever he has done to her...I strongly wish people came up with suggestions instead of just finding ways to engage in useless banter !

^ Don't you think its better than witnessing daddy chasing young girls right in front of their eyes and later blaming mommy of sleeping around? Mind you we are talking about 2 females kids...as it is kids coming from troubled homes have a lot of emotional issues once they grow up, let alone getting to believe that its okay for a man to sit at home while the wife takes care of him and the rest of the family and suffer all the atrocities in silence. It'd be a welcome change for the kids to move into a secure and loving atmosphere, even if its for a few months. They ought to know that this is not the way a normal family functions.

OP, you must love this man a lot. Otherwise I don't see how you can keep forgiving him and buy his stories. Haven't you heard, an idle mind is devil's workshop ? All the boredom would have driven him to the point of chasing househelps. Since I feel you want the relationship to work badly, try the path suggested by guitar4life. Talk to him a lot, the way you guys behaved during your courtship. Like Taryour said, get some relative to take care of your kids and give him undivided attention.When you feel he is beginning to accept your ideas and suggestions, get him to go to a counsellor. He defini
tely has some deep-rooted issues. You need a professional to help him identify his problems n work towards solving them. Also try to channel his spare time into spirituality. It can bring about a lot of changes.
Keep him occupied all the time and then gradually talk to him of starting a business or something. All of a sudden if you ask him to take up a job, itz not going to be easy. It has to happen gradually. Doesn't he have friends? It would be nice to have some people who can influence (positive) him to be around him. Hope he changes. I truly feel bad for you though..you've lost 8 good years of your life Hope the ones to come will make up for the lost ones.

@ La parisienne ...bravo !!! Wish everybody could be like you... My dear it takes guts to communicate with her in her language, which half of us can't and won't do. Blame it on our decent upbringing which obviously she (n she alone) lacks. You my dear went ahead and kept all this aside and gave her some much needed dose, which was long pending. I've often wondered how a woman who "CLAIMS" to have some respectable career( :p ), a husband (LOL) and kids (god help them, if her claim is true) can turn so much disgusting and pathetic. Can't she atleast live up to the picture she has painted ? The mods n super mod have just allowed this nonsense to fester while they think the site will crumble down if private human parts don't change into manliness n womanliness. Arrant nonsense.